 
Page 26
The ramblings of an old git
bloggoth Mission Statement:
We aim to never raise our sights above the gutter and preferably to stay much lower
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bloggoth saves the universe as usual
Watched a little bit of the umpteenth repeat of Star Wars while slurping our lunch today. (Lunch is often at 5.30 in the xoggoth
household). What an evil little cock R2D2 was. He had you lot fooled but like all little robots who look like posh kitchen
waste baskets from Homebase he was secretly plotting to take over the world.
Fortunately we at bloggoth know how evil robots, if they look like posh little kitchen waste baskets or not, are programmed.
Forget Asimov's three laws of robotics, when confronted by an evil robot simply shout out these words "Make me some toast!" All
evil robots are compelled to stop whatever it is they are doing and start to make you some toast using the toaster that each of them
has hidden inside. I trust you will all remember this advice the next time the universe is threatened.
As you can see, these Daleks, previously bent on exterminating, have been halted in their tracks by the
shouted command. "Make me some toast!" and have been temporarily rendered harmless because toasters have automatically
popped up replacing their evil telescopy things. There will be no further threat until you have had time for some buttered toast
and a nice cup of tea.
This rule apples to all evil computerised machines of sufficient complexity. bloggoth has learned
that the real reason for the failure of the Hadron Collider this year was that it overheard one of the scientists asking
another "Make me some toast would you?" and a large section that was in process of cooling to absolute zero started heating up
again to make some toast, postponing the destruction of the universe long enough for us all to have a nice cup of tea.
Ok, so we have a new US president who looks sorta different. Yes! That's right, he has simply enormous ears! It is widely
expected that the next Labour Party leader, possibly a future PM if the British electorate are stupid enough to vote for a Labour
government again (which of source they are) will be David Milliband who has simply enormous ears! Our next monarch, if the
public are daft enough to countenance the coronation of the Prince of Daftness without an armed revolution (which of course they are)
has simply enormous ears!
All coincidence? Or is there a sinister plan by enormous-eared aliens to take over our planet?
Time for a rant!
Says Zebedee
Fuck off Big Ears
The principle of monarchy, that a bunch of individuals should have enormous privileges and untaxed wealth handed to them
purely out of the accident of birth, utterly stinks. These people are simply the nation's most pampered benefit claimants.
That said, assuming we do need some hugely expensive figurehead to butter up foreign dignatories (and human nature being as
idiotic as it is, we probably do) the present queen does a very decent job and commands some respect, even from us rabid republicans.
A big part of that is that she keeps her mouth shut.
It seems that The Prince of Daftness does not see why he should not voice his mostly idiotic opinions
speak out whenever he feels like it on becoming king.
There is a very good reason why he should not. Unlike politicians who have been elected by us or successful business people,
celebrities or anyone else who has obtained their fame or position through their own merits, he has never earned the right to
exercise the influence his position would command.
This dipstick should never be king. Hopefully, when the present incumbent kicks the bucket, we can get rid of the absurd
relic of monarchy for good.
How about us savers?
Banks are
unwilling to reduce interest rates in line with BoE rates. You can bet they won't be so unwilling to reduce rates to
savers, just yesterday we has an email from Cahoot about rate changes" on our account, but pressure by government
to reduce borrowing rates will only reduce them further.
Everyone's financial situation has a fair amount to do with luck, but judgement and effort comes into it too. How about
this fecking government considers the needs of savers too?
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Now you too can contribute to the rebuilding of Republican funds and get some personal gratification by sniffing cloth that
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Latest hitch in ID card scheme
In another exclusive, bloggoth has learned that the latest phase in the government's stealth plans to make ID cards
compulsory for all, the issuing of biometric cards to foreign students, has hit a major snag. Trials using volunteers have
established that the fingerprints of all Chinese people look the same.
This picture shows fingerprints from three unrelated Chinese people selected at random
Getting better all the time
The day to day doings of crappy people are so predictable and stupid and CRAPPY, the only news that is really interesting,
that is not just some variation of news you have seen a million times before, is the wierd sciency stuff like
this. Fantastic! Maybe we at bloggoth will be brought back one day to have a shag with the resurrected zombie of Mary Queen Of Scots,
she was hot stuff apparently, according to the film "Elizabeth" anyway, must be true.
The editorial staff of bloggoth, the manky
skulls/mummies, have a more personal interest as they are all waiting patiently in hope of the resurrection but prefer not to have to wait
until the Rapture when the Lord (who is a waspy, as the regular non-existent readers of bloggoth will know) restores them to their
former glory. Just as well we at bloggoth have kept them in a state of perfect preservation, no expense
spared, against that day when science can bring them back.
The manky skulls by the pond
The manky mummies in a chocolate box in the shed
Mr Manky blackbird skull lives under our monitor
PS That skull at left in the first picture is just some kid we found in the pond a few years back. If it's yours,
can you please come and collect it?
Another bloggoth hero who can do no wrong
Paul Gascoigne joins the list of bloggoth true martyrs,
along with Weseley Snipes, Ken Dodd and the late gentlemen, Lester Piggot and Pavarrotti, after being persecuted by the bandit robbers,
the bastard stinking taxmen. As any fule nose, all tax is theft from the people who earn it (hooray!) to give to horrible parasity
people who don't. (booh! hiss! exterminate!)
We at bloggoth have decided it is no longer enough to have rightist free market economics, it is time the state started
not just to eliminate socialism but to reverse it in accord with the sound principles of nature. Our mantra :
"To each according to his success, from each according to his failure".
We trust the wealthier and more successful
among the non-existent readers of bloggoth will be implementing this sound policy, eg, by hanging around outside
asylum centres and stealing their food vouchers, going into schools and confiscating the free school meals to feed your
pets with and squatting in council houses so you have somewhere to store your spare servants.
Commenty boxy thing
Post comments here. Promises of money or ecstatic praise only please. Anything remotely critical will be removed.
If you do not agree with me you are clearly insane.
More proof as if needed
That the opt-outs and informal agreements that {Lying Scottish C* ... Brownstuff} gave as an argument against having
a referendum on the Lisbon treaty
are quite worthless.
Why is mankind so optimistically stupid?
Only up an hour (well, it has gone 11) and already the bollox is flowing into our lugholes. Oh yeh, black president,
historic occasion, defining moment, like fall of the Berlin wall and freeing Nelson Mandela.
Trouble is, freedom is going backwards in Russia while society is going nowhere positive in South Africa. Those
were undoubtably good things and Obummer seems an intelligent man who just might make a good president despite the similarities to
Tony Blair, our beef is with the stupidity of all this hyperbole about a new world order and all those idiots celebrating
as if the Messiah had arrived.
Sorry idiots, nothing much will change, it never does. Prepare for disappointment. Perhaps you should start looking for
the next thing to pin your daft hopes on. Rationality and freedom are in retreat and not just in
California.
Maybe in a few decades the world will look back on that brief period of sanity, that half century after WW2, when we seemed
to be casting off our isms and creating more rational and free societies, as a temporary abberation.
Ding, dong, disappointment looms
Not a closet Muslim or black racist as some would have it, not a saviour who will significantly improve the lot of
America's blacks or solve the world's problems, just an empty Tony Blairy vessel. Three years on there will probably be a lot of pointless
PC crap, more money wasted in welfare, many very relieved people and even more very disappointed ones.
His speeches are so full of utter meaningless crap it is hard to know what to pick out. Take tonight's drivel, to
paraphrase "It isn't our might of arms that makes us great or our wealth, it's our ideas" No it isn't, what makes the US
great is its military might and its wealth, if that other stuff mattered the world would be led by Switzerland.
If only there was less emotional response to words, if people would only hear them and ask,
"what the hell does that mean?" or "how exactly does the speaker intend to achieve that marvellous sounding aspiration?" or
"sounds great but it isn't true" or "that just makes no sense at all"
Intermission
Of the three bloggoth Rs, rude, rant and rubbish we vastly prefer rude and rubbish with just a hint of rant to add flavour.
We read the Daily Mash and think, that's brill!, why didn't we think of that?
Permanently ranty bloggers seem such a miserable lot and maybe some of them are.
We at bloggoth are not very happy at mo and the
sure sign is that we open our cyber mouths and nothing but rant comes out, mainly at the the three bloggoth Ps, Politicians,
Parasites and Pontificating religious bastards. We started out in a fairly good mood yesterday and by 11am were chucking things
at the walls again. Blame a certain online banking system that we can't seem to log into.
Normal service will (probably) be resumed as soon as possible.
Cost of drugs makes no sense
We see news like this over and over again and can't quite
see the logic of these costs. If the prices are so high that almost nobody can buy the drug, then what is the point of the
drug company making it? If the anticipated market was those with some rare disorder such that the manufacturing price would
inevitably be so high that nobody could afford it, what was the point of them researching it and trialling it at all?
Give us a break
According to the DT, the government are suggesting deployment of yet more
of our hard-pressed troops abroad, this time
to the DR (hah!, hah!) Congo.
As we have said before there may very occasionally, in theory, be a case for such
interventions but there needs to be a cold hard assessment of whether anything can actually be achieved. We should not be
risking more of our soldiers' lives (not to mention taxpayers' money) on a knee jerk emotional response driven by yet more harrowing
little pictures of black kids to the idiotic rallying cry of "we must do something!". There is no point if we are only going to
pull out a few years and several body bags later as we usually do, probably hated by all those we tried to help for yet another
bit of "white colonialism" as always, and it all predictably starts up again because none of the basic issues were sorted.
Of course we are seeing in the usual fora that it is all our fault,
it is our hunger for minerals from the Congo to make our mobile phones etc. that is driving this tension.
We want raw materials from Zambia and Oman and Sweden and Australia and Malaysia too but those countries just dig mines
and improve the lot of their citizens by selling them, they don't go round exterminating people from other tribes.
If we banned purchases of minerals from the Congo would it save any lives? Of course not,
it would either just drive incomes there even lower or, more likely, increase exploitation by the Chinese who have a lot less
concern about the fate of Africans than we have.
This is yet another problem inflicted on Africans by Africans and no amount of PC sorts blaming whitey is going to change that
and nothing will be solved by a bunch of Europeans standing around with guns. If we want to help it is best done by promise of
investment to legitimately recover those minerals if they sort themselves out.
We keep returning to this point over and over again because, individually and nationally and internationally, it has been
forgotten. People need to take responsibility for their own lives and their own nations and the only people who can sort out
tribal tensions in Congo or anywhere else in Africa are the Africans.
Not surprised
Cocaine use has doubled under Labour.
Who can blame anyone for taking up drugs after living in a society runruined by this bunch of bastards
for eleven years? We at bloggoth mostly just hit the vodka but it ain't working anymore. The commenty box thing (link at left)
has now been adapted to allow uploading of cat's pee*. Just email your invoice via the link on the home page.
Ah nice! Beam me up Scotty*.
*Note: Cocaine slang apparently.
Revenge is a fish dish best served cold
Icelanders are complaining that {Lying Scottish C* ... Brownstuff}'s freezing of Icelandic bank assets has wrecked their economy.
It's taken over 30 years but revenge is sweet.
Ok, what bastard little uppity country who made us look silly can we get at next? Denmark must have done something.
This illustrates yet again that every draconian measure taken by this government for supposedly sound reasons,
"combatting terrorism", "protecting children", "preventing identity theft" etc. etc. will end up being misused
for entirely different purposes. We should start seriously considering whether we might be better off just having
a few more paedophile Islamist bombers around stealing our names than giving more power to the state.
Another xoggoth prophecy comes true
Years ago we wrote this very short story.
Today the Mail has this
real life story.
Oh, ok, we know it isn't true prophecy. If you write a story about government incompetence and laxity it is sure to come true
sooner or later.
Yet more empty words
We have had a deluge of statements from government ministers in recent weeks, they are going to
reform welfare,
control immigration, have a
tougher approach to crime and now they are to
bar extremists from the UK.
The Liberal Democrats home affairs spokesman Chris Huhne suggested the plans were inadequate and did not tackle those
already living here or people preaching on the internet.
He said: "The main problem with these sort of eye-catching gimmicks is they don't make us any safer at all. What we're looking for is delivery."
Eye catching gimmicks, empty rhetoric. Precisely.
Update: Told ya.
But her announcement was under mounting scrutiny last night as her officials admitted the rules for deciding individual
cases were not being toughened in any way - and that any foreigners who could be banned under the 'tough' new measures
can just as easily be excluded now.
Same old double standards
There have been various suggestions that the Republican prospects are not as dismal as they seem, that many white voters
will turn out just to keep Obummer out of the white house. Naturally, one also sees suggestions
that regardless of the reasons they give, this is all to do with racism. To a significant extent it probably is
but isn't it odd that nobody ever mentions racism in connection with the overwhelming support of blacks for Obummer?
Yes indeed
Keynesian economics is bollox, under the New Deal the US economy was slower coming out of the 1930s depression than the rest
of the world. Governments cannot spend sensibly or stop spending, they are incapable of it. How typical of
{Lying Scottish C* ... Brownstuff} to propose more public spending as a solution.
This chap says it much better than we can.
Not Proud Of Britain made the point first but
it is not just bloggers pointing out that, thanks to this incompetent leftist bastard's profligacy and waste, the global crisis
has now been shown to have a very distinct
UK dimension.
Hello? hello?
Eleven years these idiots have been in and the enormous numbers claiming incapacity benefit has been highlighted many times.
Their own minister, Frank Field, mentioned the problem in their early days before he was removed. NOW they are considering
welfare reform to cut the levels.
Great timing! For eleven years they do nothing (except make jobs even harder to get because of unrestricted immigration)
and then act at the start of a recession, just as unemployment is expected to rocket! What a bunch of useless incompetent
plonkers!
So typical
Firm action may sometimes compel diehard opponents to be more amenable as it did with Libya, but to bomb
inside Syria just
at a time when there are serious signs that the regime is seeking to come out of isolation and talks are in progress
is plain nuts. Everytime you think they have plumbed the depths of US foreign policy, they come up with something
even more damnably stupid.
Whisper it
These days, if you question the idea that everyone has equal potential and
that all differences are down to "inequalities in our society", you are immediately compared to Hitler.
But is it just remotely possible that some of the
decline in cognitive ability in children is genetic in origin and an inevitable product of decades of welfare that have allowed and
often encouraged the least able to raise families they could never have raised without it?
TV Tourrettes
We at bloggoth have generally been most unimpressed by this SKY TV the missus insisted on getting with one exception,
we can record South Park and watch it any time we want.
Goddamit! Now we wander around all day going "m'kay?" and "Respect my authoriteeeeh" Oh well, at least we have stopped saying
"I didn't get where I am today" For now.
Vote winner
We at bloggoth take the idea of fair and humane treatment of prisoners from the Vietnamese with a pinch of salt but there
have been assertions that
John McCain's
stories of torture are "for the sake of votes"
Now there's an idea for {Lying Scottish C* ... Brownstuff}, all the bastard has to do to get lots of votes is to
be tortured . I am sure there are millions of us who would be only too happy to oblige him in this matter.
Now where did we put our brazing torch?
Now questions over Liberal Democrat dealings with Russian billionaire
bloggoth has learned that the Liberal Democrat's shadow chancellor, Vince Cable, is the latest to find himself
in hot water over allegations concerning the Russian billionaire, Oleg Deripaska, aboard his Mediterranean yacht.
Everyone is asking how come he wasn't invited aboard that yacht and WHY THE FUCK aren't any shady foreigners remotely interested
in making illegal donations to the Lib Dems?
"This really is a quite unjustified insinuation" a Lib Dem spokesman told bloggoth "We did have this asylum seeker guy
who offered Nick Clegg £5 once. On the other hand, I suppose he could have been asking for £5, his English was not too good"
Rights? Maybe you haven't any
A phrase one occasionally hears, but not nearly often enough, is "no rights without duties".
Close, but
if we at bloggoth ruled the world we would appoint a state official to be present at every birth with a big red hot branding
iron and every child would have this burnt into his forehead:
Rights cannot exceed duties and responsibilities
Some among the non-existent readers of bloggoth might query where that leaves those who are less capable for no fault of
their own. If they can manage to do very little for themselves, should they have correspondingly few rights? Exactly.
That is not the same as saying that they should not be provided with a reasonable quality of life, simply that we should not
call it a right. If you give rights to those who contribute very little to society, either materially or otherwise, it is
necessarily at the expense of others. Within reason, that is not at all a bad thing for the donor. Man is a social animal
and voluntary work, direct donation to charity, even paying that small proportion of your taxes that you feel reaches those
who deserve it, all of these things can give people a sense of worth and make them feel good.
The problem is that once you define this or that to be a "right" you create an absolute concept, and that creates injustice.
The asylum seeker in the mansion may not be typical but the principle, that those on benefits often do a lot better
than those on low incomes who do not quite qualify for benefits or
are too proud to claim them is commonplace, it is almost the norm. Standards apply to social housing that do not apply outside
them. Before the non-existent readers of bloggoth demur we suggest they try actually knowing some asylum seekers, try
regularly visiting those on low incomes including DSS recipients. We at bloggoth have.
So it is a right not to be summarily turned out of one's home? Even when the landlord is what many landlords of cheaper properties
are, a retired person supplementing an inadequate state pension on his only major investment?
So you are a disabled person with a right to go where any able bodied person can go? Even when making a complaint under
the disability act can force a struggling little business which is someone's only livelihood to pay out thousands of pounds to accomodate
you?
Life is a bitch and some get a bad hand but please don't bleat about "natural rights" because nature does not award rights.
Your problem is your problem.
Most of us who are luckier are very willing to help because we can imagine, to a very limited extent, what your life must be like
but don't demand. Society needs reality based on human nature and there are limits to which most humans who are not saints
can really care for those they do not know.
Once you start going beyond the realms of human empathy and assigning absolute
rights which must be enforced regardless of circumstance you create injustice and resentment and you start to destroy all
those natural feelings that can make society work. If we constantly pick up a large bill to look after the sick, elderly or
disadvantaged that we do not know is it any wonder that when it is our own friends, relatives or neighbours who have the problems
we feel that is the impersonal state that should provide and not us? We have already paid for it after all.
High time we gave the Ghurkas the boot
Why is a modern nation using mercenaries anyway? Perhaps it made sound sense when they were cheap and of undoubted effectiveness but
now idiot human rights laws
are requiring them to have the same pay, conditions, pensions, rights to British residence and every other damn thing that
British nationals have.
If
equality rules
are going to negate their undoubted qualities there is no damn point in it at all. This arrangement needs to end.
Good for Microsoft
The company has "sparked outrage" by disabling unlicenced copies of Windows in China, a country where
82% of software is pirated.
The non-existent heart of we at bloggoth does not bleed for these poor users. How about they pay for what they use rather than
stealing it? "Others claim Microsoft's high prices are responsible for the problem" No excuse whatever, Microsoft or any company
is entitled to charge whatever it fecking well likes for its own products as long as it does misrepresent or engage in illegal,
underhand or anti-competitive methods.
Does anyone even pretend we have a parliamentary democracy any more?
Government block MPS discussing liberalising abortion
What we really need is abortion on demand* and with the upper limit set at that when inducement of birth will result in an
entirely normal healthy child, one that does not need hugely expensive treatment to keep it alive and will not suffer life-long
health consequences. In this, as in all areas of life, those who pick up the tab should make the choices and the choice
should be the woman's.
Even socially liberal atheists who do not believe human life has an intrinsic value
might demur at that, protesting that abortion is expensive and potentially risky and should not
be just a form of birth control. Those arguments would be dandy if we lived in a society that rewarded responsibility
but in the indiscrimate welfare society we have, girls will be reckless anyway and far too many even see a baby as a cheap meal ticket.
Easy abortion, coupled with disincentives to single motherhood, is a much cheaper option than paying out welfare for 18+ years and,
far too likely, for the future crimes of yet another fatherless kid of dimwitted parents.
*As they do in 53 countries including Canada, France, Germany, Italy, South Korea, United States, Russia, South Africa,
Turkey and Ukraine, according to this.
Ignorance really is bliss
Forget the credit crunch, a new cold war, nuke armed Iran and trivia like that, there is lots of REAL doom about today.
The DT reports
that we are all to be fried by intergalactic radiation. Rather further off,
New Scientist is talking about how we survive the death of our sun.
Decades ago we recall reading an early SciFi story, "Thundering Worlds" I think, where this problem was neatly solved by
attaching big rockets to all the planets (which had all been colonised, even Jupiter) and just setting off in a convey through
the galaxy to find another sun. I think that took a few weeks and, after the odd clash with selfish inhabitants who wanted to keep
their sun for themselves, they soon settled in and lived happily ever after.
That is the problem with knowledge, it is bad enough being fucked but far, far worse to know you are fucked. Why people cling to
religion I geuss, faith is another word for deliberate ignorance and ignorance is bliss.
Update: Yes, it was Thundering Worlds by Edmund Hamilton,
Wierd Tales, 1934. Not sure scientists or Mr Hamilton would have believed in the credibility of the tale even in 1934 but it
was entertainment after all. Nowadays, we have more and more who believe there was light three days before there was
a sun, moon or stars:-
3: And God said, Let there be light: and there was light.
etc. etc.
16: And God made two great lights; the greater light to rule the day, and the lesser light to rule the night: he made the stars also.
PS and if god made man in Chapter 1 para 27 why did he make him again in Chapter 2 para 7? Or was that just an "In the
previous episode" type synopsis
Hooray!!!
About time us atheists started
hitting back against the irrational bollox of religion and the way that Christians and Muslims are constantly interfering in our
private lives, lobbying for laws that affect all of us just because some drivelling bit of text written decades or sometimes
centuries afterwards by somebody who probably had their own political agenda has their Messiah/prophet saying something that
nobody agrees on the meaning of anyway.
Maybe we atheists should go further and start sending anonymous death threats every time some Muslim criticises
our secular values, protesting every time someone quite unintentionally quotes from Bertram Russell, burning embassies if anyone
does a cartoon of Jean Paul Sartre and lobbying parliament to force religious people to have at least one gay partner, to have an
abortion every two years, to contribute 1% of earnings to genetic research and to euthanase themselves if they get terminally ill.
Let's see how they like people constantly interfering in their private lives.
Where do we average income sorts fit into this?
It seems that
the gap between rich and poor has been shrinking in the UK. Gosh! How marvellous that our robust economy has provided all these
jobs so poor people can catch up! Yeh, right!
This report says:
- Unemployment is also a significant problem in the UK, the
report found, with 16 per cent of all households with a working-age head found to be totally jobless.
- The researchers also discovered that the proportion of single-parent households in the UK has increased almost
three times as fast as the OECD average, and now account for about 7 per cent of the total population
- "While both the richest and poorest have been getting richer..."
So, the poor have got much richer while remaining largely out of work and fecklessly producing kids that ensure
they can't work. This is not the dynamic economy with jobs for all that we need but typical leftist indiscriminate
incentive-destroying wealth distribution via welfare that will ensure the UK's decline.
Oh, yes, and it seems that it is not the rich who are paying for it. So who is? You work it out.
Pretence
We at bloggoth have never thought the Obummer=Muslim theory made much sense but what a
dubious statement
from Colin Powell.
"But, he added, “The really right answer is, what if he is?”
“Is there something wrong with being Muslim in this country? No, that’s not America,” he said.
Unfortunately, Islam is not simply a religion but a political system and there are 57 nations in the Organization
of the Islamic Conference who derive some or all of their laws from Islamic texts, often to the detriment of the rights of
non Muslims, especially those deemed to be heretics or apostates.
Powell's remark makes as much sense in what is a free democracy as saying it would not matter if Obama had been a Marxist in
what is a capitalist state.
Yes, there are many Muslims who believe in democracy but given the world record of this faith the US electorate would at
the very least be entitled to ask a serious question of any Muslim candidate, if there are conflicts between the
will of the people and the will of Allah, whose will will you be following?
Cleaners at House Of Lords to strike over increased work load
bloggoth has learned that the cleaners at Britain's upper house are threatening strike action unless they get extra pay
to clean up the enormously increased amounts of sleeze since Peter Mandelson became a peer this week.
"We have had to work twice as hard" a union rep for the cleaners told bloggoth "everywhere Lord Mandelson has been, there
is an inch of thick black sleeze all over the floors, smears of sleeze all over the walls, and you can't even see through the
windows, they are just so coated with the stuff, even Cillit Bang can't shift it". Cleaners are demanding at least 30% more to
cope with the problem, plus extra heavy duty industrial cleaning equipment and protective suits against contamination by the
sleeze which some scientists have linked with skin and other cancers.
bloggoth has been informed that if Tony Blair becomes a peer in future the House of Lords may have to be entirely isolated behind
a 35ft concrete wall to prevent sleeze inundating the entire palace of Westminster.
During this photo shoot after Mandelson received his peerage, the sleeze in his office rose some 2 1/2 feet and caused
considerable staining of the ancient oak panels.
We take it all back
Like 99% of the UK we at bloggoth have occasionally made rude remarks about Jamie Oliver, implying that he was a tad (ok, extremely)
irritating. We really were not grabbed by his previous campaign to make school meals healthier as, in our view, most of
the crappy children in state schools would be much improved by a diet of arsenic and anti-freeze.
But now it seems Jamie has begun a new campaign to
improve the welfare of pigs. Sound chap!
Chocolate, yech!
"Sex shops" (actually I think they sell it in Tesco) have had to
withdraw a
"Chocolate sex spread" on health grounds.
Can't think why people buy such stuff anyway, what a horrible thought! Nothing tastes nicer than naughty bits,
why spoil them with chocolate?
If a law should always be enforced then perhaps it should not exist
We are not entirely sure about this. We have reached the
age where we mostly find the things people do funny (and as most non-existent readers of bloggoth will have noticed, we are ghastly
old perverts anyway, so are quite happy to chance upon naughtiness of any variety)
but we can also recall being very embarassed by such encounters when younger. Anyone should be allowed to
go to a public bog or park without seeing things they view as offensive, but if they do it behind a bush somewhere? Who cares?
That is the whole point of laws, they are supposed to serve a purpose and if in any particular case enforcement does not serve
the intended purpose then why enforce it? The shadow home secretary Mr Grieve has said: "This is unacceptable. The law is the law
and there should be no exceptions" Piss off you twat, you have just reminded me why I hate Tories as well. After 10 years of the
current arseholes one starts to forget about how much one hated the last lot of arseholes.
We see so much of this unintelligent application of the law, in immigration control for example. Look you idiots, we do not
really mind about bending a few rules for Ghurkas or Iraquis who have endangered themselves supporting our war effort or
successful African footballers who have well paid careers ahead of them, it is just the criminal and/or useless crap we want
removed.
Don't give us impartiality in application of the law, just give us some sense.
Obummer needs a new advisor and quickly
According to this
Obummer's lead may not be what it appears as whites who would not vote for him simply because he is (sort of) black do not necessarily
admit to it when asked by pollsters.
Surely what he needs to do and very quickly now, given we are twenty days from the election, is to call in the one man who can
help him overcome this major electoral obstacle, the only black man who has real experience of becoming a white man, Michael Jackson!
A quick Dr Phibes nose job, some hair straightening, blue contacts, some strong bleach, a name change and a quick course in
the proper white
man's pastime of alledgedly molesting young boys and Obummer can make himself acceptable to even the redest necked redneck from Texas.
Presidential candidate Barry Harry O'Bama today
Bugger
Another thing off my bucket list.
What the HELL is a country with a total population of 60 million doing with over 5 million welfare claimants of working age?
Among all the other problems we have, the cost of welfare will rise sharply as many lose their jobs. This would be bad enough
if it was not on top of huge welfare costs we already paid for when the economy was booming. When will anyone start to listen to
Frank Field?.
And let's not indulge in PC crap about the twin idiocy of immigration either. What swallowed up 3 million new jobs over the
last ten boom years if the number claiming benefits scarcely fell? To what extent did that immigration add to the welfare bill
directly? Now we pick up the bill for more claimants, many of them those same migrants, in a more overcrowded, far more divided
and poorer society.
What can you see in this picture?
The
new airport scanner being trialled in Sydney that shows body details. Assuming that the real thing is much larger and clearer
of course.
Yeh! same here! Nice pair of norks and can you just see a tiny bit of fanny there? Nope, not sure you can. Hang on, let's
have a closer look.
Something that might be a gun and a couple of suspicious looking pouches? Oh yeh! Didn't notice those! Can't think how we
didn't spot them.
Why is it always left to we at bloggoth to point out the obvious drawbacks in these great technical innovations?
Don't listen world, he really is an utter leftist fuckwit
Having not made his usual utter arseup of things for a couple of weeks, {Lying Scottish C* ... Brownstuff} now
appears to think he is
the messiah .
What will this new world order look like based on his record on corporation tax, public spending, pensions or the tax credits system?
Common international rules for financial regulation, cross-border supervision of multinational firms and a "global early warning
system" to watch for future financial crises. Sounds groovy, except that this year's version will be ridiculously complicated and
expensive and won't work, so in a year or two's time it wil be replaced by another version that will be ridiculously complicated
and expensive and won't work, so a couple of years after that, it will be replaced etc.
"It should also try to agree a new world trade deal" Lefty claptrap.
Let's bomb the local shopping centre tomorrow
Maybe it will be one day but at the moment Islamic extremism is not worth
this intrusion, not when there are so many better steps to take first, proper control of immigration, for example.
This data will be misused by the state just as every law they have passed so far to combat terrorism has been misused by the state.
Assuming they don't leave it on a bus first anyway.
Perhaps this measure will be effective against young hotheads who are not too bright but surely serious extremists, those with
backing from international terrorist groups, will know how to make their activity seem innocent?
Maybe the rest of us should do our best to screw it up. We should all start visiting extremist websites, emailing and blogging
in a code that translates innocent comments into something that seems more sinister, then maybe they will get so many meaningless leads
they will give up.
Terrorists may come and go but none of them ever, ever has the sort of power over so many lives that the state does.
Criminals are always with us but none of them ever, ever, rob so many people blind like the state does. Screw the state,
blow up a politician tomorrow.
PS. Note to any MI5 men among the non-existent readers of bloggoth. The last comment was of course bloggoth new blog code
meaning that we are a tad miffed and intend to write a stiff letter to our MP. The bit about blowing up the shopping centre
is simply bloggoth new blog code for "we must remember to go to Costcutter tomorrow and get some bread" Or TATP. No, no,
bread. Definitely bread.
Wonderfully un PC
Doing our making insects and monsters out of woodland bits thing at a local school today. A girl came up and started talking
about painting. "It's my hobby" she said "and my mum's hobby too. Her other hobby is epilepsy"
Probably her mum's joke. Most people with disabilities or serious problems I have met are very matter of fact about it and often make
jokes at their own expense. I recall this chap I shared a house with in Oz, "Do you wanna see something really wierd?" Then he rolled up
his trousers and showed me this tiny little thin leg in a big metal caliper. Ok, they really don't want to be made fun of but they
hate all this PC tippy toeing around the subject that they get from people too. We just need to be more straight and take things
as they are.
Make 'em grow up quicker
In the wake of news about a doll supposedly saying
Islam is the light, bloggoth has learned that Fisher Price is to release a complete range of dolls designed to offend
everybody.
"It's a dog eat dog world out there" a company spokesman told bloggoth "and the sooner kids learn life isn't all love and
cuddles and warm milk and bedtime stories, the sooner they can start to make their own way in life by screwing their fellow man"
The new Father Jack doll has a small range of obscenities suitable for young children
Appalling (but amusing)
Wolverhampton Magistrates' Court heard about a
long list of hygiene breaches at the Cannock Road shop.
A statement of facts, read out to the court, said: "Upon his arrival the officer observed a dead male lying on a sofa at the rear of the main kitchen.
"Sat opposite to him was Mr Singh who was preparing food, making kebabs."
John Cleese on Sarah Palin
Here.
Right on Mr Cleese.
Opposed to some of his foreign and social policies but McCain appears to be a decent and pragmatic man who could
make a good president.
Unfortunately, he is 72 and
the thought of that irrational vacuous "should have gone to Specsavers" NUTJOB Palin being a heart attack or Melanoma recurrence
away from the White House is frightening.
He may be an inexperienced money-wasting lefty with some very dubious past allegiances based on predudice (the reverend whatsit
because he was black and Odinga because he was Luo) but give us Obummer anyday, he is at least an intelligent man who is capable
of rational thought.
Yeh. Closet Muslim, terrorist supporter, illegal immigrant. How many times have we at bloggoth followed links "proving"
these things to find just another blog stating unsupported allegations? We are perfectly ready to accept proper evidence
but so far it mostly appears to be a load of cock.
Has any election here or in the US so polarised opinion? Not that we recall. While we at bloggoth get annoyed with those
who play the race card at every legitimate objection to denigration and dilution of our own culture and quite appalling third world
practices in our midst, the scale and hysterical nature of much of the objection to Obummer indicates that it is mainly down to one thing.
He is a nignog. Half of one anyway.
Update: Worst of all. Is Obummer another
Tony Blair?
Japanese Knotweed cause of all the world's problems
Not going to link to them but there are loads of sites out there that blame the Jews for every ill in the world. The current
market turmoil was plotted by the Jews, the EU is run by Jews, the Iraq war was due to Jews, even criminal activity among
blacks in America is the fault of the Jews. I kid you not, have a look for yourself.
Another entity blamed for absolutely everything is Japanese Knotweed. We have been so amazed by the stuff we keep reading that we
have several times checked pictures just to see if it the same plant that occasionally grows in our garden. Raging out of control?
Look, you just pull the shoots out when you see them, after 3 years they stop coming. Weedkiller spray works fine on patios.
If you do not bother with a clump it does not "rage out of control" and eat your grannie. Brambles, ash seedling, horsetail,
now those are problems, but unless you cut up the roots and fling the bits about, Japanese Knotweed spreads very slowly as it
does not even seed in the UK.
What did poor old Japanese Knotweed ever do to deserve this? Did it crucify Jesus Christ? We think it must have.
What is the use of that?
We at bloggoth have never been proper surfing but it looks like fun and we are entirely on the surfer's side
here in their
dispute with the MOD.
What is the point of practice ranges like that anyway? Few battles seem to be fought out on open plains anymore, modern wars are
generally about invading someone else's country and fighting running battles in urban streets. Surely it would make much more sense
to send units out to temporary training camps in cities, then they could invade sink estates full of horrible
common people and bomb the hell out of them. Not just more relevant training but reduces the welfare bill as well.
Murder most foul
Austrian far right leader Haider killed in road accident. Some were bound to think there was a conspiracy so we Googled and did a very rough
analysis.
Who dun it:
- The Jews 46%
- Lefties/liberals 19%
- Rival right wing parties 15%
- The EU 7%
- Muslims/immigrants 5%
- Barack Obama 4%
- The Illuminati 2%
- The Duke of Edinburgh 1%
- Little green men 1%
Mr Haider was apparently killed in similar manner to Princess Diana using roadside fixtures that leapt out in front of his
car and/or a powerful strobe light.
PS The stock market crash is all due to Jews as well. Or little green men.
Great uses for a time machine - 1
Since so many Muslims blindly follow what Muhammed is supposed to have said and done, it would be fun to pop back in time,
kidnap the prophet and put an actor in his place with a Monty Python script. Then, back in our time, we could watch them doing
(even more) totally stupid things - sticking bits of toast up their noses every third Monday, hopping backwards on one leg
during full moon and going round and round a small doorknob in Kazhakstan. Of course, this plan could backfire. Some would probably
end up stoning or beheading people who refused to name their tortoises Doris.
Atheists demand Cardinal Newman does something useful
More about Cardinal Newman the (probably)
gay cardinal that the RC church wants to beatify. Two miracles are needed before somebody is made a saint. The cardinal
might have done one miracle, apparently some deacon from Boston, Massachusetts, claims to have been cured of a spinal disease.
Yeh, right. If enough people claim to have
prayed for the cardinal's intervention with the almighty there is bound to be one who claims to be cured. Some people think
there is miraculous healing power in crystals too but we don't see too many lumps of Amethyst made into saints. Christians
in the US are all barking anyway, some parishoner-shagging conman called the Reverend Isiah or Joshua only has to get
up and say "Heal this man
Jesus" and millions of them are fainting all over the place and claiming they have been cured.
What is the point of the Lord healing one person anyway? He is supposed to be almighty FFS! Taking away one person's
leprosy is a bit stingy in our view. They can go to Boots and get pills for that.
We at bloggoth expect something a bit more convincing please Cardinal, like a miraculous solution of the credit crunch
on Monday with the FTSE hitting 6500.
World banking system to be bailed out by organised crime
bloggoth has learned that G7 and other governments are in secret talks with representatives of organised crime
throughout the world.
"Unpalatable though it may be" said a government source "we have to accept reality. It is only criminal organisations and gangs
who actually manage to make vast amounts of money regardless of economic circumstances and we desperately need
their money and expertise to restore confidence in the legitimate system"
In return for pardons of top criminals and blind eyes turned to prostitution, drug running, illegal gambling and so on,
the Mafia, Tongs, Triads, Yakuza and many less well known organisations will provide huge funding for banks. It is believed, although
denied by official sources, that there will be merging of many functions, with criminals being given posts to facilitate
laundering of money while banks will receive a share in criminal proceeds. Already, it is believed that a director of Barclays
has been assigned to oversee a chain of brothels in the South East.
In separate negiations, Alistair Darling has reached agreement with a group of Nigerian fraudsters to bombard Icelanders
with phony emails in an attempt to recover British depositors' money. Bankers will provide expertise, confidential
information and even the use of official company websites to make the emails much more believable and the Nigerians will
receive a handsome commission on any money recovered.
Some countries like Russia, North Korea, Burma and Zimbabwe are not participating in this move. "We don't need
to, organised crime and the state are much the same thing" said an unofficial source at the Kremlin.
Condoms
Ah! We remember those. We used to decorate the bed head in our cruddy little bedsit with a long line of used johnies as
a measure of our weekly prowess but hasn't every bloke done that? No? Just us again then.
What reminded us of this unsavoury image was the picture in
this item about potentially unsafe condoms
being given out at a university. They did not have the right kitemark or something. The strength needed depends on where you put it as I
understand it, maybe the cheaper sorts need big labels on them - "Fanny only - unsuitable for arse"
That's ok. he's British
Not that we at bloggoth are very interested in motor racing but it is a nice change when a British team or person is doing
well even if they have buggered off to live in Monaco. It seems that Hamilton is being
accused by rivals of unfair and and even
dangerous tactics. Isn't that what we Brits said about Michael Schumacher when he was winning all the races? Have
a Google for "Michael Schumacher cheat"
There is a big difference though. Hamilton is British, hooray, fantastic, super, while Schumacher was a ghastly kraut, boo, hiss.
As long as it sounds good
Black Monday is good but Meltdown Monday sounds much better, who cares about calamities just as long as the press can
think up pithy alliterated phrases?
Today, for a change, the worst was not saved for Monday so we had
Freefall Friday.
Next week it may be Tuesday or another day, how about Tumbling Tuesday, Wobbling Wednesday er, no, that's crap er. Plummeting.
Plummeting is a good word. We are therefore renaming Wednesday Plednesay so it can be Plummeting Plednesday.
That's sorted then, Meltdpown Monday, Tumbling Tuesday, Plummeting Plednesday, Collapsing Cursday and Freefall Friday.
And they can bally well open the markets over the weekend too, lots of people work on Sinking Saturday and
Plugpole Plunday, so why shouldn't market traders?
How shall we fuck off oh lord?
Islam for too many Muslims is an obsessive-compulsive disorder in which they perform utterly
meaningless rituals and follow pointless strictures for no sound reason whatever. If you doubt that, look at
this.
Even us atheists will concede that Muhammed was not a fool so one has to wonder if he really expected or wanted many of his
followers, a millenium later, to be rigidly taking every darn thing he ever said or others said he said, no matter how trivial,
to be an unalterable script for their lives. It is like that
bit in Life Of Brian where the followers are convinced Brian is the Messiah despite his protestations, demanding to be told
what to do and taking his every word as a sacred injunction.
How come they do not seem to take much notice of the many
perfectly sensible and reasonable things the prophet is supposed to have said like "Woe to those who practice rigidity"?
Explain that then
Let's not be too nasty about {Lying Scottish C* ... Brownstuff}'s handling of the crisis, it could have been far, far worse and
other world leaders do not seem to have done any better.
However,
this, the fact that the UK will suffer more than any other country in the coming recession, is down to ten years of Brownstuff's overspending, overborrowing, overtaxing, overburdening, incentive-destroying economic policies. We trust the public are not
distracted from this by the fact that his actions over the past week have not been the usual utter cock up.
Reducing hospital waste
In the wake of a BBC investigation revealing the
extent of hospital food waste the health authorities are in a position to act swiftly to tackle the problem. A firm of
consultants appointed by the Department Of Health has been working on this and other issues of waste in the NHS for some six months now
and their recommendations will be released very shortly.
The plan is indeed radical. bloggoth is given to understand that about 15% of the meat currently used to prepare
patients' meals will be sourced internally using discarded parts from operating theatres. A DOH spokesman told bloggoth
"With proper cooking to remove any risk of transmitted diseases, these fragments, scalpel meat as we call them, can safely
be used as a day to day ingredient in hospital meals. They are not only nutritious but can be delicious too"
Jamie Oliver has been called in to spearhead this innovation. Here is one of Jamie's
own homely creations, sauted tumour of the pancreas on a bed of rocket salad with onions and a lime and fennel dressing.
Lovely Jubbly.
The Russians have the solution to the credit crisis
Alone among all the significant economies, only the Russians
shut down their stock exchange if stocks look like falling too far.
What a simply brilliant idea! How do you deal effectively with children who will not play sensibly? You take their ball away
and tell them they cannot have it back until they learn to behave themselves! This is all about panic. If naughty little traders
start selling stocks, if wilful little savers will not be told and start beseiging banks asking for their money, then jolly
well shut down those exchanges and lock the bank doors and tell those naughty people nothing will reopen until they say
they are very very sorry and promise not to do it again.
Money saving idea
A PC has been convicted of sex acts while on duty,
which constitutes the crime of wilful misconduct in public office. It is quite right that this should generally be a crime in certain
public sector roles due to the influence they have over one's fate; if your house is burning down, you really don't want one
of the fireman asking you to suck him off before he gets his hose out.
On the other hand, in very strictly defined circumstances, there could be a good opportunity to save some public money here.
Some women and gays seem to have a thing about uniforms, so why not have an office through which they can book real fireman,
policemen etc. for hen nights or private does? The services then get a percentage to put towards costs.
Any fireman etc not wishing to participate on religious grounds should have their wages cut, as should any too ugly to
be in demand.
We at bloggoth are extremely handsome and attractive and firmly believe that life should be made much harder for ugly people,
they have got away with their ugliness for far too long.
More PC pretence
A while back, although obviously we cannot be arsed to find it, we commented on the way that adverts and
pictures used to illustrate news articles are always over inclusive except when talking about crime. Then those nasty
little hoodies with their guns and knives, the hand proferring a syringe, the fuzzy pictures of whores under street lights,
are almost always white.
The Daily Mail is not usually accused of being PC but actually is one of the worst offenders in this respect. The illustration of
this news item about teachers tackling extremism, for example.
Good job, far too many white kids like that are going to extremist churches or atheist
centres at the weekend to be radicalised by men dressed as Adolph, spending time at home learning Mein Kampf off by heart,
plotting suicide bombings on the net with fellow white supremicists
and travelling to rural East Germany to attend neo-Nazi military training centres. It needs to be stopped.
Disgusting
It is quite disgusting that Iceland should make pledges it cannot keep. If we at bloggoth had lost money in their savings
account we would be round our nearest Iceland store and if they did not have the money we would fill our van
with their 75p freezer essentials in lieu of payment. Hope our cash in Sainsburies' saving account is safe.
The two points that really count
Those of us outside the US are quite bored with this presidential election in which we have no say, even though, especially
living in a nation led by poodle governments, we have to live with the consequences.
Foreign policy? Who cares? Wars and unsavoury alliances will happen anyway, being largely chaos events on
which the original intentions of the leaders have little impact.
If US citizens are wise they would look at the UK and compare just two things, productivity per worker and the
sense of pride citizens feel in their nations. It's about indiscriminate welfare and excessive third world immigration, avoidance of.
Uh
Everyone who has graduated from the University Of Bath, especially with 1st class hons, mentioning no names, sneer, is a
total genius so we at bloggoth could not help noticing
this.
It seems that necrophilia is not a crime in some states of America. That is interesting, not that we at bloggoth harbour any great
desires towards corpses but it suggests that somewhere out there there may be other states that have no laws against sex with
baboons or pigs. Where did we put our passport?
For a moment there
It almost seemed for a few days last week that we had a competent and decisive government. Now it's back to
leaks and dithering.
Good to see the government is back on form, otherwise what would us bloggers find to sneer at? We at bloggoth had a go at
being positive and constructive once but it just made us miserable.
Commenty boxy thing
Post comments here. Promises of money or ecstatic praise only please. Anything remotely critical will be removed.
If you do not agree with me you are clearly insane.
Millions of new jobs to be created in the British economy
bloggoth has learned that, despite the UK now being in recession with the expected loss of hundreds of thousands
of manufacturing and service jobs, the economy will shortly boom again, with million of new jobs being created in the industry of
the future.
A government source told bloggoth that Boris Johnson's
announcement of an investigation into racism in the Met
and Jacquie Smith's announcement of an investigation into racism
in the police force generally was but the start of an exciting new trend. "In a few years there will be jobs for millions of
people in the new and exciting investigating racism industry, then all you bigots and xenophobes will see that we were right all
along to speak of the positive effects of immigration on the UK economy."
"Of course these new jobs will only be open to brown people" he added.
We need more insults
Is the modern tendency to never say this or that for fear of offending somebody or other, even if it is not actually illegal
under all the umpteen him, her and the other chap hatred laws, a good thing? We suspect not, as in all repressions it simply drives
feelings underground. What people say on a public forum is very different from the things you hear among friends.
So why shouldn't this chap voice his opinion?
Just as long as he does not take offence to the idea of a tattoo on the foreheads of religious people saying "Don't bother
talking to me, I can't think straight"
Actually, it is a very sound idea in general, we should all be forcibly covered in tattoos expressing all our opinions on
everything. Better, we could have little screens on our heads, connected to our brains and spelling
out everything we are really thinking. People would soon get over being constantly offended and then perhaps we
could work towards a democracy based on what we really want for it instead of what we think others think we should want.
The device could have a socket for a little gun to be attached just in case that pious idea does not work out.
PS
Where is all this "militant preaching of homosexuality" that chap refers to? We at bloggoth frequently hear rants about gays
preaching homosexuality but never actually seem to hear this preaching ourself, the only time we have ever known a bloke
to be gay is either through someone else telling us or (when we were younger and less ugly - sigh!) when they made a pass at us.
We rarely seem to read these preachings in the papers either.
What is more frequently in the papers is preaching from the religious saying how terrible our society is and how their religion
will transform it into a happy crime-free place (just like South Africa or Pakistan or Albania presumably). We are thinking of
producing a guide to religious double speak:
- Gays preaching homosexuality = gays asking to be treated like any other couple
- Attacks on Christianity = people objecting to idiot prayers and hymns at public meetings
- Attacks on Christian values = women wanting to make their own choices on abortion
- Islamophobia = expecting people from Pakistan to comply with the laws of the country they voluntarily came to
- Tolerant Islam = you can practice your own religion as long as you do it in a very dark corner
- Islam respects women = as long as they do what men tell them to
Takes us back
Sad tale of a girl who fell to her death from cliffs just North of Bondi. They were not terribly high as I recall but
30ft is more than enough.
The pic brought back a few memories. There's my old flat at bottom left, I think, or was it the one next to it?
The cliffs had amazing horizontal striations.
Me and Beak n Wings (he also called me Beak n Wings, he was the only friend I ever had who was as childishly silly
as I was) used to wander there for hours looking for interesting wildlife. Huge sea slugs and very aggressive crabs who would
refuse to back off and raise their pincers at you even though you were a 1000 times bigger. We scrambled up the cliffs once,
that bit at the back of the prominentary I think, where the houses start and were slightly alarmed to find ourselves in someone's
garden. Beak n Wings had read somewhere that Australians have more guns per household than in the US. Up top there was
a huge lizard as big as a cat wandering along the street.
Gottle of geer
If we cannot think of anything sensible to say about a politician, we at bloggoth have a firm policy of sneering at them
anyway for absolutely anything that pops into our head. Most of them deserve it. Well, actually most of them deserve to be
burnt at the stake but unfortunately that is not in our power.
The quite repulsively awful Angela Merkel for instance, why has the ghastly woman got a ventriloquist dummy's jaw?
He's gay, and he's gay and him, gay
Being an atheist and ex-Catholic (or just a bad Catholic as one of my old masters would have said), news to do with the
the Catholic church always catches the eye of we at bloggoth.
The church announced today that the
grave of Cardinal Newman, shortly to be beatified,
contains no trace of his body. The removal of the corpse, had there been one, would have been much against the cardinal's wishes
as it was his own request that he be buried next to his life-long friend Ambrose St John.
THE CARDINAL WAS GAY (probably) says Peter Tatchell.
He is far from being the first to imply that or to comment on his effeminate nature and the writer of
this article
says "Plainly his behaviour and language were often that of an old queen"
But is there any point in saying it?
Some of Tatchell's campaigning, especially against laws in many countries that make homosexuality an offence punishable
by imprisonment or even death* is quite justified
but digging into history to label revered historical figures as gay is probably counter-productive, it just tends to annoy
and outrage.
*Note: Only in Muslim countries, it is scarcely necessary to point out.
PS We have been examing certain dates and geographical coincidences and, after the usual extensive historical research
that is typical of this blog, have decided that Cardinal Newman was Jack The Ripper.
PPS No trace of the corpse eh? Have they looked in Ambrose's coffin?
He's gay too but
Yeh, prince of darkness, lord of spin, sleazebag and gay and Jewish to boot! How awful!
But Mandelson was by all accounts a
very competent minister in the positions he held and a bit of competence is very much what this idiot government needs at the moment.
This chap is no fool. We at bloggoth do not mind a bit of sleaze, it goes with the job, just as long as we get some sane policies.
This looks like a good reappointment. We do just wonder how long he'll last this time though.
Talking a bit of sense here too.
A global crisis does require some global solutions and saving national banks in the short term does not necessarily help as the
earlier demise of others due to flow of funds away from them still undermines confidence in the global system. The Irish guarantee
is utter bollox anyway as the amount guaranteed is several times the gross domestic product of that country. Potato Famine 2, coming
soon to cinemas near you.
PS The government certainly does not need this this sleazy idiot back.
What next, the return of Prescott?
PPS. And Mandelson loathes {Lying Scottish C* ... Brownstuff} (even if he is pretending not to at the moment) so the chap
can't be all bad. Not being liked by the dimwit lefty unions is often an indicator of sound judgement too.
And him, GAY
Chris Bryant
as deputy to Commons Leader Harriet Harman. Mr Bryant famously emailed a picture of himself in his underpants via a gay website.
Just as long as he didn't claim expenses for it.
Not gay (as far as we know) but another good choice
Possibly a
good choice here as immigration minister although the appointment will offend some, no prizes for geussing who.
So what did the chap say? That marrying
cousins produces births defects (a comment backed by medical evidence, by other Labour MPs and indeed by the party) and that it
is not just whites who have predudices (echoed by the Asian Archbishop of Rochester among others). About time a few more started
pointing out these things instead of pretending. Does anyone call it racism when prominent Muslims comment on the problems of
alcohol in our society? Not that I can see as the problems plainly exist, so why are none of us similarly free to mention cultural
habits of mainly Muslim minorities that the rest of us have to pick up the bill for? What is the difference apart from their tendency to
play the race card whenever it suits them?
Unfortunately, it is becoming a fairly good rule of thumb that any policy or statement that offends Muslims is sound and sensible.
Looking better by the day. On the other hand we have seen sensible words from this government before. Will anything actually change?
Cabinet reshuffle
The PM today appointed a new cabinet. Our bloggoth political correspendent has been examining the changes and has
called the PM's choices extremely politically shrewd. The PM's main intention has clearly been to draw attention away from
his own unpopularity by appointing those who are even more universally loathed than he is.
The appointments include the return of Peter Mandelson as business secretary, Gary Glitter as education secretary and
minister for young people, Abu Hamza as Home secretary, Nick Griffin as Chancellor and Ian Brady as foreign secretary.
A bold appointment is Mum-Ra, the ever living, as housing minister. Oh no, hang on, that's Margaret Becket.
Ah! Margaret's back! Apologies to our non-existent readers but we have to stop now, just the thought of the lovely
Margaret is weaving its usual magic. we need a wank.
Petition against Shariah
petition here
video here.
Excellent chap. Sure I know him from somewhere.
We at bloggoth signed that petition (or a petition) a long time ago and got an email from the government saying
they had no plans to allow Shariah into UK law. What a bunch of fucking liars this government are.
Diplomacy in the sack
Nutjob Palin has just gone up in our estimation, having built bridges with the president of Pakistan er, hang on a minute,
oh yeh, Asif Ali Zardari. It was not anything she said, merely the fact that the randy old bastard
fancied her and
wanted to give 'er one.
What's wrong with that? Putting the backs up of a few hardline Islamic leaders is a big positive result too, what truly
miserable people these are. We at bloggoth resolve not to say anything nasty about Palin until the next time she says
something really stupid. Probably tomorrow.
Maybe that's the sort of diplomacy the world needs. Nothing makes most of us feel more kindly about someone else, or
indeed about the race/nation/creed/group/whatever they belong to, than
having shagged them. We should have sex presidents and prime ministers, whose main function is to shag other sex presidents
and prime ministers and then they can sort out all sorts of tensions between their nations during the cuddle and fag bit
afterwards.
This
is just one man's opinion of course but we bet he is not alone going from that video. Just think how much more would have been
acheived for the Republicans there by a bit of hot one on one lesbian action.
Brighten our day
We have said it before but maybe tabloid readers have far more sense than us snobs who think we are far too intelligent
to read The Sun. What is the point of all this constant gloom and doom if there is not a damn thing you can do? Maybe we should
all be reading about the latest rows on Strictly Come Dancing; we might be a bit happier.
Isn't it nice to see that at least The Telegraph has seen sense with a front page item about new books, with a picture
of Nigella Lawson above.
House prices falling at record rate? really?
Update: About 2 minutes after posting this we checked again and Nigella had been replaced by Steve Fosset
who was an ugly old bloke and probably had no cleavage to speak of. Damn, we are feeling depressed again.
Join FART
Ripping up 'red tape' and regulations.
Sounds good to us.
Yes she is
Palin really is
a total nutjob,
although in this particular case her off the cuff remark was only echoing planned points in a previous
speech from Obummer, so this sort of idiocy is not
confined to Palin or Republicans.
Many in the US may view the Pakistani government as an unreliable ally.
They may well be right, with blind eyes turned, secret
deals and unwillingness to tackle problems on its borders with Afghanistan. The Pakistani government, just like the
US government and every other government in the world has to accomodate certain realities if it is to stay in power.
It cannot totally alienate most of its population and it sometimes needs to tread delicately to keep on board its
more fractious allies and avoid total opposition from other powerful factions.
The alternatives are that a poor and unreliable ally becomes so bogged down trying to defend its own existence
that it becomes even less effective, that internal conflict renders the country more lawless allowing opportunities
for extremism to flourish or that the regime is replaced by another that is actively hostile.
We see this over and over again, US politicians with an exaggerated view of US power imagine they need no allies
and send in troops with little or no thought as to how the military objectives will be acheived, how to deal
with the consequences if they win or how the rest of the world will view it
After a few body bags come home the more sensible US electorate start wondering whether some remote
war with no very obvious purpose or plan is worth the cost and the casualties and there is a clamour to withdraw.
In a desert against a foreign army the US is almost invincible but
in difficult terrain with many civilians like Afghanistan the US troops find that victory is not so easy or worse, as in Vietnam,
they lose. There is a quite ridiculous faith in modern weaponry too. Bunker busters that can pierce 20 feet of concrete or 100
feet of soil? Give us a break, off the top of my head I can think of mines in the UK built in the 18th century that are
under more than 100 feet of solid granite.
The terrain in the border areas of Pakistan is at hard as they come and there is no guarantee that US strikes
would make a good deal of difference. They would almost certainly kill more Pakistani civilians
and turn more of the population against the US or a government that supported them.
What the hell is the use of killing a few thousand militants in the border area when you create tens of thousands of new
recruits by doing so? Not just from committed Islamic extremists either, there is nothing like violating a nation's sovereignty
to piss its citizens off.
That unreliable ally would face difficult choices if it was to remain in power and
realistically, providing more cooperation to the US would probably not be one of them.
PS
Palin: The great debater?
"The one thing I found during the [2006] debates was no matter how knowledgeable her opponents were on the issues,
it didn't matter," Mr Halcro told BBC News.
"She has an amazing ability to turn a 45 second answer into a folksy story... she's never been forced to know the issues."
Mr Halcro said Mrs Palin's biggest strength is her ability to "fill the room with her presence".
"It wasn't about how much she knew about the issues. People didn't care about her experience, they just thought,
'This is the drink of water we need'."
Fucking hell. Maybe democracy is a sad mistake. Too many people, too many of them totally stupid.
Government to encourage people to keep their savings under the bed
There have been so many banking collapses and British debt is already so high that economic advisors to the government are
casting doubt on the government's ability to gaurantee the savings of depositors if the situation continues. bloggoth has
learned of urgent cabinet discussions in which a number of options have been seriously considered.
One of these is to start a campaign to get future savers to keep their money under the bed instead of risking it in
a savings account. This investment option used to be popular decades ago and still is with some of the elderly.
A popular
choice to front this campaign would be one-time forces sweetheart Dame Vera Lynn.
A source told bloggoth that there
would also be input from a security advisor to ensure that money is safe as far as possible. "'Under the bed' is just an
expression really" he said "We want to encourage people to find safe hiding places, not act like daft old gits who lived
in an imaginary time when everyone could leave their doors open. If we actually gave Dame Vera or anyone of her age a free
rein they would be sticking it all in the teapot, inviting in hordes of blokes claiming to be gasmen and standing on the doorstep
chatting with one about her cousin Elsie while the rest of them ransacked the house"
Another idea to save money for those banks already nationalised is to sack all the staff and make everyone responsible
for collecting their own debts. "The money hasn't actually disappeared" the source said, "it's just that these bastards have
taken your money, creamed off some of it and then lent it to a lot of useless people that nobody in their right mind
should have lent money to. We envisage passing the names and addresses of people with loans and mortages to those with savings
and then the latter can get together and jolly go round there and get the money back themselves if they want to"
"Reasonable force will be permitted" he added.
Government to reintroduce press gangs
A recent commons report shows that the UK has insufficient troops
to meet levels of military activity planned years ago, let alone the heightened demands due to the Iraq and Afghanistan operations.
Attempts to recruit more young men have failed for various reasons, the main one being that nobody wants to join the army if
they think that they might actually have to do some fighting.
Your bloggoth reporter interviewed several young men as to why
they no longer saw it as a career option and this reaction was typical. "When my brother joined
the army some years ago he had a great time, hanging around bars in Cypress, polishing other blokes' bollocks with boot
polish and so on and he got proper training as a mechanic too. Now they expect you to drive round in an old Land Rover that you have
to reinforce yourself with bits of corrugated iron and get shot at by a bunch of ragheads. If you lose all your limbs they give you
two hundred quid and a bag of liquorice allsorts. Fuck that for a laugh"
We understand from a source in the army conscription office that the shortfall will be addressed by selective use
of pressgangs in areas where there are many unemployed young men. "Just as long as they aren't wogs" he added.
Here we go again
More assaults on free speech.
Peaceful protest. We at bloggoth have no real problem with that, that is the sort of protest Christians engage in
on occasions and it is probably more effective for that simply because we have no great desire to offend them. When some
are constantly objecting over trivial matters, (have any of these moderate Muslims actually read this book to see if it is
insulting to Alisha?) and often in very unpeaceful terms they piss us off and make us want to offend them on principle.
Peaceful protest should be open to all. If those who believe in a free society, secular ideals,
real equality of women and animal welfare
organised a peaceful protest against arranged or forced marriage, infant circumcision, ritual slaughter of animals, legal recognition
of polygamy or Shariah law how far would we get before being denounced as racists, bigots or Islamophobes?
Scarcely outside our front doors, we would geuss.
WTF is happening in Cornwall?
The West Country used to be considered a safe part of the UK but very recently a number of violent crimes have made the
headlines, mostly in Cornwall, as
here and
here and
here and
here and
here and
here. Just a random glitch?
Or is it due to the malign influence of
horrible foreign jellyfish?
Chinese denial
Not one bit of our space craft contained the ground up bones of a tiger or any other endangered species for that matter.
Good move
Another of the many reasons we at bloggoth have a grudge against the missus is her obsession with sport on TV which
is even more constantly annoying since she decided to get Sky sports. We at bloggoth don't watch much on TV but it would be nice to
see something now and then other than athletics, snooker, rugby, golf, football, cricket, gymnastics...
The new
night time grand prix is a step in the right direction, now all they need to do is turn off all those lights so we can't see
a single boring mile of it. Hopefully, this is the start of a great trend for those of us who are not armchair sports enthusiasts
and we can actually get to watch something a bit more intellectually challenging, like Spongebob Squarepants.
Liverpool plays Newcastle in a thick fog. The fog generators, installed at Anfield last month at a cost of almost
half a million pounds, have proved very popular with the majority of the population who don't give a fuck about Liverpool or
Newcastle.
Copyright xoggoth
