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Page 33The ramblings of an old gitbloggoth Mission Statement: |
Evolution - 1
This oil leak in the Gulf of Mexico is just awful, the effect on wildllife will be catastrophic. This is just a part of the terrible effect man's selfish and careless activities have on our flora and fauna. These things don't hit the headlines but animals die in huge numbers every day due to less spectacular leaks of oil, from poisoning by toxic chemicals, by suffocation or starvation with plastic bags and bottles stuck on their heads, from losing limbs that get tangled in wire or string, by choking on discarded fishing hooks and so on.
The only consolation is that in the long term nature is very adaptive. It took tens of millions of years but dinosaurs that could not survive colder climates were replaced by huge hairy mammals that could. If man is around for another hundred million years or so we could see creatures begin to make use of and even thrive on man's discarded waste. We at bloggoth have popped forward into the future to see what a few of these new animals will be like.
The Shopping Trolley Shark. Carcharias Supermarkitus
This small shark has only a rudimentary skeletal structure and to provide its body with support the tissue grows around a discarded supermarket trolley. This shark has been known to attack man but fatalities are rare as it easy to evade, having difficulty in swimming in a straight line.
The Syringe Viper. Thamnophis Hepatitis
This viper has no mouth parts, having incorporated a dirty discarded syringe into its jawbone. The Syringe Viper hangs around inner city areas where addicts congregate and strikes swifly with its deadly needle. It then follows its victim around until it dies of AIDS, Hepatitis etc when it uses the same syringe to suck out the diseased blood, beginning the deadly cycle again.
The Condom Caddis Fly. Protoptila Durexis
The large larvae of this species are normally aquatic, living in big ponds and lakes. It may build conventional larval cases from pond debris but its preferred residence is a discarded condom. This traps water and keeps its body moist, allowing to it to venture onto dry land and catch slugs and snails (the McDonalds Food Tray Snail is preferred) and even small frogs. The Condom Caddis Fly is a close relative of the even larger Tampon Caddisfly Protoptila Tampaxis that builds a larval case from old tampons that its ties together using the strings. *See note below
The Hatchback Buffalo. Syncerus Hatchbackitus
This buffalo uses its horns and powerful hooves to tear holes for its legs in a rusty old car; small hatchbacks are preferred. The car body provides effective protection from predators. When attacked the buffalo draws its legs and head back into the car, leaving just its horns projecting for defence. Perhaps the most remarkable adaptation is the prehensile tail with its finger-like projections. This allows the buffalo to open the rear hatch when it needs to take a huge steamy dump and close it securely again afterwards. When the mechanisms still works and a key is available these remarkable creatures have even been observed to lock the hatch and set the car alarm afterwards.
The Tesco Bag Squid. Architeuthis Tescosi
This squid makes a buoyancy bag out of an old Tesco plastic shopping bag which allows it to float upright just beneath the surface where it feeds on small surface dwelling creatures like the Oil Slick Beetle, Lucanus BP. It has a very long tail, up to 2m, as a counterbalance to enable it to maintain its upright position. On occasions it will dive to the bottom to collect sewage in its bag, the methane from which serves to keep the bag buoyant. Scientists do not yet know why this squid only uses Tesco bags and never the very similar items from Sainsburies or other supermarkets. Some have suggested it likes the Tesco Clubcard vouchers.
Note: It may be that the Condom Caddis Fly has evolved already. Check out this bit of photographic evidence on the site of Mr Snails Tales. If those ants are 8mm long that makes the condom about suitable for a 25mm penis you say? So what? All the best people have 25mm penises, it's a sign of huge intelligence.
Topic: Evolution 1 Comment here. Comments so far: 0
The desert goes on
Jeez, never been so unimaginitive for so long. Missed going to our writers' club last week because we hadn't been able to think of a thing to write. A few years back we couldn't stop thinking of wierd things to write stories about or turn into blog bollox. We sure can't be bothered to blog about the news and politics all the time.
Maybe there's a little switch in there somewhere, if we try hard enough we should be able to turn it back on. Is it there? Nope. Let's see, if we try this... Maybe not. Or here... Wait, hang on, that feels promising, yes, yes. CLICK.
Ongi parem nüüd lõpuks oleme meie kujutlusvõime tagasi ja varsti me shoul saa, oota kestab oh kurat. Oh pallid!
CLICK
Droga que eu não consigo obter a configuração correta. Inferno!
CLICK
CLICK
Yrittäkäämme sel viisil võiks paremini tööle. Tae!
CLICK
CLICK
CLICK
CLICK
Åh fan det!!
CLICK
Oh fuck it!
Topic: kkritikat dan Comment here. Comments so far: 0
Why do we prop up countries like this?
With the recent wave of laws against gays Africa is going backwards.
As usual the liberal left castigates our own society for not providing asylum to every gay African who manages to find their way here but seems very silent about the attitudes in Africa which actually create the problem.
It is for nations to set their own laws but that sure as hell doesn't mean we should be supporting them financially whatever laws they choose to adopt. Self determination is for those who pay their own way. We should halt all aid to Uganda, Malawi and all the other begging bowl nations who pass repressive laws like this.
Topic: African gays Comment here. Comments so far: 0
Update: It seems that the government is to review aid to Malawi. A review of British government aid to Malawi will take place later this year. A DFID spokeswoman has said that respect for human rights underpins our relationship with Malawi and will be taken into account in future aid decisions. Well done to the coalition government if it actually happens. Countries who can afford to prosecute people for private acts that affect nobody else simply because of ridiculous religious belief can afford to pay for their own healthcare.
Oh bugger!!
A bit of ice to cool one's vodka is nice but unfortunately it dilutes it so much. Those little plastic cubes are ok but it's a job to find them in the freezer after Missus b has been rearranging everything and when we do, they are knocking about at the bottom covered in old peas and bits of oven chip and taste of stale prawns. So we had a brilliant idea. Frozen alcohol cubes! Cool your drink and make it stronger!!! Waheee!
Aaaaaagh!!! It seems that the freezing point of alcohol is -114'C. Another great bloggoth invention bites the dust.
Topic: Vodka ice Comment here. Comments so far: 0
Rotten log
Topic: Rotten log Comment here. Comments so far: 0
Some good news among all the bad
There is news that a scientist has created life. The alarmist item in the Mail suggests it could end up wiping out humanity. Who cares? What is so great about humanity? We at bloggoth will probably not be around in 20 years and the rest of you aren't worth a stuff anyway. I will go to my nothingness much happier knowing the world will soon only contain nice little wasps and slugs instead of crappy people, especially ones like Harriet Harman.
We at bloggoth are quite delighted by this development for all sorts of reasons. What is science for if not to create monsters? Frankenstein was a much better scientist than Faraday. It took Frankenstein's genius to know that animation needs real power, which at the time meant lightning. Faraday spent years trying to animate his monster with his potty little disc dynamo and when he failed he tried to kid us that it was the dynamo he had been working on all along. Another great thing about this news is that it will annoy the hell out of all the religious sorts and other fuckwits who manage to create a "moral dilemma" out of a free plastic frog in a cereal packet.
Those boring little blobs are just the start we hope. With a bit of luck the scientists won't be so unimaginitiive as the supposed almighty and just make another thing that moves, eats, shits and reproduces. What about a quantum organism, that is only really there when you don't look at it or that can be in several places at once? A monster we would really like would be one that can assume an electron state and travel through a phone wire, sniffing out cold callers. When it gets there it materialises and showers everyone in the call centre with a deluge of venom and corrosive digestive fluids. Take that! 08432 764001 you fucking ANNOYING bastards!!!
Topic: Making Monsters Comment here. Comments so far: 0
Draw Moooohommed day
In the past we have complained about the nature of some anti-Islamic comment, arguing that its commendably peurile nature (the pee-dophile prophet, the religion of piss etc) and the concentration on terrorism detracts from the more important arguments against its nature and the threat it represents to liberal, secular democracy. Nevetheless, we can certainly understand why people in the West get thoroughly pissed off with the way Muslims in our midst malign and threaten our own beliefs, including free speech.
Nobody ever insults the Sikh or Hindu religions that we can see. It's not necessarily that there is nothing in them that conflicts with our values, it's just that if there is we don't know about it because they are not such a fucking bunch of hostile nuisances and follow their own cultures in a less obtrusive way. Hey, there's an idea!
Of the few You Tube things we could be arsed to look at we quite like this one. Not the initial shots of the disgusting way some Muslims act, we have seen that many times before, just the last ten percent with the pink cowy/dragony thing which is very wise. "Don't want any more cartoons? Stop bombing shit!" Sounds sensible to us.
PS We hope one doesn't get a fartwah for MISPELLING Mohamed. Is it Muhamed, Muhammed, Mohamed, Mohhammed, Mohommet, Muhamet or what? We can never remember.
PPS Jesus had a nice simple name. And his apostles/disciples, good English names like Peter, Mark, Mathew, Donald, Clive etc
Topic: Draw Muhammed Comment here. Comments so far: 0
Inverted commas
Sometimes we get items of news about a Briton abroad commiting a crime or becoming the victim of one.
What is sometimes clear is that they are only British in the technical sense, ie they have British citizenship. They have no allegiance to Britain and no belief in its core culture or values, rather, no matter how long they are here, they cling to those of the country they came from, whether they are visiting their homeland or occupying the ever expanding separate, and sometime mutually hostile, areas in British cities. For too many migrants, the UK is purely a commercial convenience.
We don't make light of murder and don't doubt they were decent people as the article says, the great majority of ordinary people are, whatever their origin or religion. Neither do we blame, we all of us believe in whatever we were brought up to believe.
Nevertheless, as far as we are concerned, people who get into arguments over arranged marriages to first cousins are not British but "British".
Topic: Quote, British Comment here. Comments so far: 0
Reproductive freedom
It is far too hard to get an abortion in the UK so it's good to see that advice to women on abortion services is to be screened on TV next week. A human has to be deemed human at some point in its life, so many might share the concerns of anti abortionists on late terminations but early abortion, when a child has no independent life and little or nothing that defines an individual, should be a woman's choice and hers alone.
If anti abortionists advanced some rational reasons for their interference in other people's lives they might be worth listening to but there is no rational reason, only religion.
PS There has been some questioning of the figure of one in three women having had an abortion. Recalling past conversations with girlfriends, sounds about right to me.
Topic: Abortion Comment here. Comments so far: 0
Democracy when it suits
Yet more nonsense from the Human Rights Act, with a suspected terrorist being allowed to stay in the UK.
Maybe he would face torture in Pakistan even though it is supposed to be a democracy. This sort of thing appears to happen everywhere outside the advanced western countries but we can't protect every third world citizen from their own governments and should not try to. If these men are credibly considered a risk to our own citizens , even if there is not enough proof for a trial, they should be deported. The fate of foreign citizens abroad should not be the chief concern of a British government; the safety of its own citizens should be.
In an overcrowded world one person's rights cannot exist in isolation from everyone else's and when there is a conflict British citizens' rights should come first in our own country. One of the worst things about the Tories not winning a majority is that we will not get to replace this idiotic law with a saner and better defined bill of rights.
The Human Rights Act and its application in this case has been defended by Clegg. Isn't it curious how this man claims to be so in favour of real democracy, yet is so opposed to reform of a law that a majority believe is being exploited. I daresay he doesn't have to live with the risk like ordinary people. Even before he got his current position and a grace and favour mansion courtesy of the British taxpayer he must have done well enough from his dubious expense claims here and in Europe to be able to afford not to travel on the tube or on buses or shop in the ordinary malls that these malignant Islamists favour as targets.
Interesting to see whether this same hypocricy comes out if he gets his way with proportional representation. If it is a system that truly reflects the views of all sections of the community it may well be that the BNP and other far right parties will get a few MPS. Have the Lib Dems thought of that possibility? If so, what rule changes can we expect on eligibility to ensure that democracy is only on offer to citizens who agree with them?
Topic: Clegg Comment here. Comments so far: 0
Update oh the bear. bloggoth apologies in one respect, he does travel on the tube. For a little while anyway, we suspect this public relations thing of Cameron and Clegg being ordinary citizens like you and me will disappear once everything they do is not being scrutiinised. TBH, they are rather putting themselves at risk. Not as much as {Lying Scottish C* ... Brownstuff} would have if he had done this sort of thing. Every one sane would have been attempting to assassinate him. Join the queue.
Bastards, you might have warned us
If we knew Google was coming down our street we would have made sure the garage door was closed. Now the entire world can see it's full of old cardboard boxes and other junk. Oh the shame!
PS At least the van was clean.
PPS A couple of pot plants in the front garden are fuzzied out. Good face recognition software there.
Topic: Street View Comment here. Comments so far: 0
Three cheers for Billy The Kidd
"Young Guns Two is on TV tonight" says Mrs b. Great! Not seen it. Hang on? where are the jet fighters? Oh no, that's Top Gun. Easy to get confused after an Archers or three plus a vodka or five. (Even if small).
Young Guns is much the better of the two films. Hurraaah for Billy the Kid! Another fecking lawman down - hooray!! Just another million or two and he might get the lot. Even today, the Yanks are so much more sensible than us. According to an article in FHM the main threat to Obummer is not from White supremicists, Islamists or miscallaneous nutters but from Americans who just hate an overpowerful, interfering and overtaxing state.
Maybe we could join. We at bloggoth loath the fucking state! After a morning spent doing the P11Ds for our miniscule retirement business we hate the state even more than usual. Anyone sane hates the state! Why does it keep robbing us blind as it does and why do we accept it? Most would accept that a company that makes a profit should pay tax. Maybe, but the thing is it can start taxing a business long BEFORE it makes a profit.
You can't deduct the whole cost of new stock from profits, only the cost less any remaining value at year end. Also, repayment of the principle of a loan is not a valid cost to reduce profit, only the interest. So if a man invests a lot of his own money in his business to new buy stock (it is obviously always much cheaper to buy large quantities rather than small ones) he could be paying tax on a non existent profit before he has even got his own money back. At least the Annual Investment Allowance has removed the similar fraud of capital allowances under which you could only deduct a part of your expenditure on equipment. Where tax is concerned one should be grateful for small mercies.
We wonder who came up with the principles of modern accounting and taxation. We suspect it was King John or Montezuma or Stalin.
Topic: Tax Comment here. Comments so far: 0
Sex changes are so outdated
We obviously can't be arsed to look for it but there was a news story yesterday about a murdered prossie who was born male and had a transgender operation. We at bloggoth can't really understand the overwhelming need to be a particular sex, women's naughty bits would have been nice too, the important thing is to put whatever you have to good use as often as possible.
Now that our pathetically small male bits are coming to the end of their sell by date anyway, we thought that if we had some spare dosh for a transgender operation we would go in for something a bit more stylish than just converting them to a pale copy of what half the world's population has got anyway. We could get a face lift too, maybe a marine theme would be fun. The big advantage of having naughty bits that did not resemble naughty bits would be that one would not have to wear clothes.
PS Although they still look admirably obscene. We never realised before just how rude a squid was.
Topic: Gender Comment here. Comments so far: 0
Why the apathy? One possible reason
We at bloggoth have not been arsed to comment on the election but one reason for the failure of the Tories to get a real mandate must surely have been their near silence on the first or second most important issue for many British, massive and poorly controlled immigration. We didn't want shrill migrant bashing that impacted the decent ones but we did want more than just an annual cap and a strengthening of the border force.
Numbers and illegals were only part of the issue. We wanted assurances also that there would be control of the nature of the legal migrants, that we would only take educated high earners who would make a significant contribution to the economy and were not within a million miles of needing welfare or social housing, who were in good health, who spoke good English, who accepted the major British values like democracy, a secular society, equality of women and individual freedom, including freedom of religion.
We didn't get it and many probably felt that the situation under the Tories would continue with little improvement, that cooks-come bottle washers in Bangadeshi restaurants on £15k a year and the like would continue to be defined as "skilled" migrants and swell the numbers of low income, non English speaking, backward minorities with a propensity for criminal behaviour and hostility to our society.
Just today we saw another example of the brutality and the barbaric attitudes that some of these low grade migrants bring with them, a conviction for an acid attack on a man for having a relationship with someone's sister. A Google indicates that this particular bit of extreme pleasantness happens overwhelmingly in India, Pakistan, Bangladesh, Afghanistan and some countries in Africa. In Bangladesh alone there are more than two acid attacks on women every day. Over 5% of the acid attack victims are babies. Uganda is another place where such attacks are common. There are scores of such cases every year in Pakistan. Take a look at some of those pictures.
And don't just dismiss these as crimes comparable to the worst domestic violence over here. There are a few dinosaurs, sink estate types, who think it ok to give a woman a bit of a slap to keep them in order but generally we have a negligible proportion of our society who would seek to justify major violence to women. Over there they represent a socially acceptable attitude among a significant body of the population and perhaps the state too. Despite recent draconian laws in Bangladesh few men are ever convicted there and many get away by bribing the police. In Bangalore women so attacked get little sympathy or help and police are reluctant to interfere in what they regard as just domestic disputes. Now this sort of third world barbarism is creeping into the UK and Europe as here, here, here, here.. The Asian Times has warned of an acid attack culture hitting UK streets.
The OED defines racism as a belief in innate superiority of a particular race. It isn't racist to refuse to go along with a ridiculous denial about the way that the social advances of the last two hundred years in the UK are being dragged backwards by large numbers of uneducated people from violent and irrational faith-based societies. Give us moderate numbers of decent and useful people with a committment to the UK and most of don't care what race/colour/religion they are. We do care when our own values, safety and prosperity are being destroyed.
Camoron's almost total silence on the issue (plus the way that so many marginal seats are now dominated by hostile minorities who are hijacking our nation's political future) may have cost him his victory.
Topic: Acid Comment here. Comments so far: 0
Pics
The first two were warm ups, under 5 minutes each and actually look better on here than the second two which were more like 2 hours, but that's mainly because chalk and charcoal are much more amenable to photographs. Hard not to get shine on the outline pencil. The right hand of picture number 3 looks wrong? Body far too wide? She must have been deformed. We at bloggoth never make mistakes.
PS: As is probably obvious the lady in 1st three was late middle aged, early 60s probably. The last was mid 30s? We fancied the 1st one more. There's an old dear, well into her 80s at least, at our writers' club we admit to having thoughts about. Most elderly women don't but this one still has that certain something. Ah well! At least we at bloggoth aren't paedophiles! Despite our appearance. Here is a bit of porn for those of similar bent. Phwooooor!! I fancy that don't you?
What is she missing?
We at bloggoth are really fed up at mo. Spending all day, every day, on these feckin' program updates for our small business that doesn't provide us with much more than pocket money. We spent less effort as a contractor and got £50k a year. And then there's the bloody election!!!
What would really cheer us up is a decent bit of perversion. We got this great drain unblocker at Dyas. Waheee! It works pretty well at unblocking the drain but we can think of a much better use! Come on, non-existent readers, you don't really believe that colonic irrigation clinics are about health do you? This CHEAP device would be great! We put it to the missus, even flattered her by offering to use the smaller sink unblocking nozzle rather than the lavatory unblocking nozzle shown here (even though the latter is far more suited to her enormous lovely arse) but she didn't want to know.
Bah! What is wrong with the woman?
Topic: Plunger Comment here. Comments so far: 0
PS Commenty thing now with ISP/URL/hostname/what you had for breakfast recording. We know who you are bastards.
Heh, heh, SNEER
We at bloggoth noticed that our home made time to election counter did not give quite the same result as some others on Daily Mailish blogs but could not be arsed to check who was actually right. It is much easier with a couple of days to go so we did a cut and paste from Old Rightie's blog.
| bloggoth counter: | 1 day, 10 hours, 25 minutes, 05 seconds |
| The official CountDown widget: | 1 day, 03 hours, 25 minutes, 05 seconds |
| Actual time: | 1 day, 10 hours, 25 minutes, 05 seconds |
Polling booths open at midnight do they chaps? SNEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEER!!!!!!!!!
Commenty problems
Ta for email from non existent reader re commenty thing. Can't find any probs in IE,Safari,Opera or Google Chrome. Only Firefox. What are you doing using a horrible liberal lefty browser like Firefox Mr Sheep? Anyway, fix it when have time. (AKA can be arsed)
Update; We at bloggoth do most profusely apologise to Mozilla for accusing it of being liberal lefty above. We discovered that we had used references with left leaning path thingies \ instead of right leaning path thingies /. The other browsers accepted such leftist slants but Firefox refused to open anything with a left leaning thingy!! Sound browser!
Images of the prophet
Never a month goes by without another news story about Muslims issuing death threats because somebody has depicted their awful prophet. The latest, (the story is too well known for us to be arsed to look for a link) was against the South Park creators. Bastards! We at bloggoth love South Park, or we would if we didn't only keep seeing repeats.
Still, at least we don't get a constant stream of boring news stories about Muhamed's image being found on bits of toast, vegetables, Google images and so on as we do with Christ's. Maybe we should be grateful to them.
On the other hand, a few such reports might keep them busy and they would have less time to inflict their idiotic views on the rest of us.
Topic:Insult Comment here. Comments so far: 0
We don't BELIEVE it! - 2
Further to previous, we at bloggoth have added anti bot and anti spammy lines to our commenty thing. Non existent readers should avoid mentioning viagra, clit, hotsex, backgammon, poker etc etc when posting their non existent comments although there is a rather crappy page thing that lets you copy your comment to clipboard so you don't lose it should you type pussy spunk jiz by accident.
PS: For some reason the list of recommended spammy words includes Texas but we have removed that one for our one American non existent reader.
We don't BELIEVE it!
We at bloggoth had assumed that these things targetted known blog commenty engines, Google blogs, Wordpress and so on, that's where the bulk of the potential business is after all; but something has managed to target our completely home-made, slung together at random commenty thing. Thanks Cialis Discount and propecia foiled cutlass, most sensible comments we at bloggoth have ever received in our homemade or in any other commenty thing!
Naturally such offers stand no chance with a MEAN BASTARD like we at bloggoth. We need better value. Any chance of combining these wonderful chemicals to suit all our needs? Ideally what we would like is a single bottle of pills that makes us feel totally high AND have a collossal erection that last for hours AND with a penis enlarging compound that considerably augmnents our pathetic little lunchbox AND enables us to deliver absolutely gallons of cum several times an hour.
Oh yes, and a sex attractant pheremone that enables us to attract a woman who is a bit more free with her bumhole than missus bloggoth!
Email us with that at a knock down price and you've got a deal.
Topic:Spam Comment here. Comments so far: 0
Come back later dear non existent readers
We at bloggoth have not given up posting bollux here but up to eyeballs in updating our programs. Nature programs are seasonal and schools stop buying when there are no NICE little creatures for pupils to look at so we have to get them out. Back in week or two we hope.
An apology to the Icelandic people
We at bloggoth admit to having been a bit nasty about Icelanders, even suggesting on other forums that we should nuke the bastards for:
- Hunting nice little whales
- Stealing our cod
- Ripping off British investors with their dodgy savings accounts
- Chucking their volcanic ash all over us while they, thanks to prevailing winds, suffer almost no downside whatever
We take it all back. We love Icelanders. We were out in the garden today and what a difference no air traffic makes! Here are shots of the sky from our garden taken for this post.
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And here are some shots we took today:
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PS: This retraction assumes that the airlines are back to normal when we at bloggoth + missus xoggoth want to go on our postponed trip to Athens. Otherwise Icelanders will resume their former role as f*cking bastards.
PPS: Whether they are #1 in the f*cking bastard league will depend on whether those f*cking bastards the Greeks stop their strikes and protests that caused us to postpone our last trip and resume their proper role of grovelling subservience to us tourists.
PPPS: HORRIBLE FOREIGN PEOPLE eh? Pah!
Topic:Planes Comment here. Comments so far: 0
Racking good
Needless to say we at bloggoth did not watch the TV debate between the party leaders. Eleven years of these malignant leftist bastards and we can see what they have done to Britain, to the economy, to our personal freedom, our personal wealth, our safety, our nationality and our culture and we are going to judge whether or not to get rid of {Lying Scottish C* ... Brownstuff} on whether somebody looks at the camera when they are speaking?
And given the record why would we believe anything that thing says? Not raise taxes, control immigration, cut red tape? Surely we all know the reality of promises like that by now.
Maybe we should have a debate where leaders are forced to tell the truth. We at bloggoth have an idea.
Topic:Rack Comment here. Comments so far: 0
Testing, testing 2
This brilliant xoggoth made commenty thing now adds threads and emails me.
All I have to do now is think of something non existent readers might comment on!!!
Topic:comm1 (test) Comment here. Comments so far: 0
Testing, testing
The general conscensus of the non existent readers is that the new commenty thing is crap. In the end we decided to make our own in php and MySql because we are a genius after all.
Click here to try the new commenty thing.
As it was copied from one we did for our/our missus's website it is very neat and has no old skulls, zombie pics, cartoons, drivel, obscene abuse etc etc that the non existent readers would expect to see. Needless to say, that state of affairs will not last long!!!!
UPDATE! Bah! you can't put paragraphs in!!!!! Never mind, if 2 page paragraphs were good enough for Marcel Proust they should be good enough for non existent readers.
UPDATETTY UPDATE! Got it doing paragraphs now - HOORAH for xoggoth!!!
Arting about
Why are irrational reasons always a let off?
Imagine if any multinational company had a policy of not employing women in senior positions, they would face prosecution in the US or Europe and certainly wouldn't get any government business. Yet major religions have such a policy and get away with it.
What is the difference? The company might at least be able to muster some semblance of a rational argument as it is generally true that women are more likely to put their families first and not have that same ruthless dedication to a job. For religion there is no rational argument whatever. Some would argue that religion should be a special case because it plays such an important role in many people's lives. It does, but then a culture of one's own is very important to human beings too and that natural need is consistently ignored and denigrated by our equality laws.
Scientology was originally a self help system but Hubbard turned it into a religion to get round restrictions on the use of psychological procedures and devices. The E-meter was an illegal unlicenced medical device but as soon as it became a religious artifact it was legal. If you want to legalise and gain acceptance for a movement in the West, the best way is not to attempt to argue a logical case for its principles but trot out a load of invented nonsense and call it a religion.
Maybe Nick Griffin should take a leaf out of Ron Hubbard's book. Instead of trying to fit in with legal demands for changes in the BNP's constitution he should rename it "The Church of The National British Revelation" and claim that an angel came to him in a vision and told him wogs weren't allowed in. Sorted.
The true message of the Grail
We at bloggoth watched an interesting program by Tony Robinson about the Holy Grail Myths, including the modern one peddled in The Da Vinci Code by Dan Brown. It was a pretty sound debunk.
The idea of the Grail was an entirely fictional invention of the 11th century. The authors referred to old texts and legends because that was a fictional artifice of the time to add apparent authenticity. The Knights Templars were not heretics protecting a terrible secret, everyone of them who confessed to heresy under torture later retracted when they were not being tortured. The accusations were trumped up by a monarch who wanted their wealth that came from protecting rich visitors to the Holy Land and running an early version of an international banking system. The mysterious Priory of Psion was an invention of a surreal artist and the rich priest who was supposedly paid by them to buy his silence actually made his money selling fake relics.
It is true that some early versions of the bible did refer to Mary Magdalen as a significant member of the Apostles but there were no references to a relationship or to offspring. The only other piece of "evidence" is that Da Vinci painting that appears to show a woman next to Christ. An expert said that Da Vinci often painted rather androgynous men because of his, ahem, tendencies but the other painting he showed us, while effeminate, was still quite obviously a man. That last supper portrait sure looks like a woman to me.
Or, if it isn't a woman, what else could it be? Could it be that there really was a great secret? And could it be that this same secret has now been exposed to the entire world? That sure as hell isn't a grown man but, maybe... yes!
IT'S A LITTLE BOY!!!!
PS
If you need a more modern example of how a work of fiction gets turned, first into legend and then into fact, check out the "Angels Of Mons".
What is this blithering idiot for???
Comments by Anglicans are generally nowt to do with us rationalists of course, except perhaps when the Anglican concerned is the Arsebishop of Canterbury when, much as we sane sorts disown him, his opinion as head of the English Anglican church might be taken as somehow representing that of the English generally.
Do we disagree with his comments on the crappy Catholic church in Ireland? Hell no! but then one has to ask what purpose his comments actually served. What was the point? Actually, what is the point of this fucking bearded idiot anyway? Pity us atheist have no say in these institutions of the deluded or we would be lobbying for his replacement.
The Arsebishop is also white, late middle aged, bearded. As we at bloggoth have previously conclusively proved beyond all doubt, anyone who looks like the Arsebishop is a paedophile unless they are a) An archeologist b) A bird watcher or c) A folk singer. We would keep quiet on the subject if we were him.
Modern art we would like to see - 1
Although purely figurative art is probably pointless today a work should at least appeal to the senses and/or emotions. Sharks in tanks? A shark is interesting but is more of a museum exhibit. An unmade bed? I can look at one at home anytime I want thanks. What next? Will somebody crap on a plate, wank over it and call it art? Oh no, hang on, Gilbert and George have probably done that one already. Went to an exhibition of theirs in Edinburgh once when I had never heard of them. Waste of the admission fee and I think it was free.
Another place I went to once was Pompei back in my hitch-hiking days. Not deliberate art but those agonised figures with the pathetic remains inside are very moving. So my proposed art exhibition this week is "Return to Pompei". We need an epoxy compound that sets almost instantly on exposure to air containing an equally rapid skin-absorbed poison. Then a big helicopter drops a load on a shopping centre in a sink estatey area full of HORRIBLE COMMON PEOPLE. Artists can go in afterward and touch up any bits that were missed. It would be a big draw and reduce the number of Labour voters too!
Poofy software
We at bloggoth write and sell software. Our programs are primarily aimed at children so we do make a few concessions to their lamentable lack of ability, *Note things like big colourful buttons, large text and audible tips but otherwise we stick to fairly conventional layouts. The programs for older children have proper toolbars and menus, REAL MAN'S Programs. What we really hate is bloody wierd poofy user interfaces like this!
What is that supposed to be? It works well enough but it looks like a belt a superhero hamster would wear. What are those rotary saw bits or the pink and blue moustache thing at right? They don't actually do anything. To open a file I want "File" at top left of a REAL MAN'S menu that you click to see options Open, Save etc.
Pah!
Note: Needless to say, we at bloggoth were doing differential calculus at age 3.
Hey! It's real!!!!!
bloggoth is infallibly accurate in everything it says. If that sometimes appears not to be the case it is only because we at bloggoth are not subject to the same restrictions of time as our mortal non existent readers. Sometimes we write the future and it takes a while for your world to catch up. It is not mere coincidence that we share a birthday with Nostradamus.
Today The Daily Mail reports the discovery of a huge woodlouse. No suprise to us, we reported this creature two years ago on xoggoth.org. Look at the similarity. Coincidence? We think not!
The once and future PM
We at bloggoth have been lying awake at nights thinking about the dreadful prospect of finding {Lying Scottish C* ... Brownstuff} is still PM after May 5th. The destruction of what little is left of England will be complete in a few short years. We cling to the hope that maybe the Blithering Drivelling (phony Tory leader) Camoron is not really what he appears, that, election over, we will see some proper Tory policies.
The choice is not inspiring. History has thrown up several potentially much better Conservative leaders, slightly handicapped by their deaths unfortunately. One we have mentioned before was that great hero Vlad The Impaler. Not only was he a scourge of the invading Muslims, he had a great way with the useless too. He once invited all the nation's beggars to a feast in a great hall, whereupon he had the doors locked and the place torched. What a brilliant solution to the problem of long term welfare recipients!
Watching the news tonight about the resignation of yet another of the government's drug advisors because of politically motivated decisions we thought of that other great PM we never had, the late Alistair Crowley. It was Satanist Crowley who coined the phrase "Do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the law" It needs a small addition - "provided it has no unreasonable impact on others" but otherwise it expresses perfectly what the law should be. If the major adverse effects of somebody's actions fall mainly on themselves they are NOBODY ELSE'S FUCKING BUSINESS! (FUCKING and CAPITALS - wow!!! did you see that???? Is that RANTY or what????)
Some drugs do have adverse effects on others, cannabis for example, is linked to violent schizophrenia and therefore put others at risks but as far as we at bloggoth can make out this legal high of mephedrone puts nobody at risk but the takers. So adults make a choice, knowingly take a risk and, for a few, it doesn't work out. Too bad! Why does the law need to get involved? A Crowley government would have more sense.
Dishonest idiots
The arse of the week contest (see 3 back) was especially difficult this week. There is also Ed Balls, always a good candidate for AOTW simply because he is a total arse at all times but especially given evidence that he probably leaned on Ofsted to find a scapegoat for the baby P affair.
Then there's Mandelson for suggesting that business leaders have been duped into supporting Tory plans for an NI cut. Leaders of successful businesses duped? Know nothing of the economy? I suggest that those who have successfully run businesses know a lot more about the way the real economy works than this bunch of overgrown student arseholes (hey! we're getting good at this ranty lark!) in the Labour government, most of whom have not had a proper real life job since they resigned as presidents of their university Trotskiest Workers Societies. There is another idiot inconsistency in the Labour argument. If our memory serves us correctly they themselves reduced VAT and held off on other planned tax increases to avoid further throttling the economy. Now the same argument is wrong because the Tories are using it?
It is always the same with Labour, any reduction in taxes is putting "vital services" etc etc at risk, never all the utter crap that government wastes our money on; all those extra white collared civil servants and overpaid local authority executives, the costs of useless migrants - approaching £1bn just for HIV treatments for Zimbabwean migrants alone, those stupid wars, the legal costs of idiot "human rights" cases due to this government's adoption of vague and misguided European law, the expansion of beaurocratic box ticking in the NHS, police and schools, the cost of administering ever more complex and often pointless laws and regulations or the billions given to the EU.
Staff
We at bloggoth have fallen off a bit on our intention to post a blizzard of crap on here, mainly due to the fact that we have been spending long days and some evenings updating two of our small company's nature progs and doing the wife's business website. After that, we have usually had about all the sitting in front of a PC we can take.
We went jogging today (7.479km). The sun was shining and we found a new footpath so a chore turned into a delight. Even better, we found a new recruit to the bloggoth editorial staff to ease some of our burden. Say hello to Mr Manky Deer Skull 2.
Evening all. I am so delighted to be here. When I was mouldering away in the pine trees all those years all that kept me going was the hope that one day I would have a great career on the bloggoth editorial staff.
Now my dream has finally come true.
More socialist crap
It's just as well that we at bloggoth got in our prossie-visiting days while we could, because this idiot socialist government is bent on putting a stop to that along with any other sort of pleasure. It's no wonder that Lefties and Muslims support each other, they are both bent on forcing their ridiculous rules on everyone to create a totally unnatural society full of people who are as joyless and miserable and fanatical as they are.
We agree with the arrest of anyone who knowingly has sex with a woman they know, or should reasonably suspect, has been coerced into it but that is not generally the case and nor is it always true that women in the sex trade are only doing so to feed a drug habit. Some are perfectly normal women who do it because it pays far better than working at the Tesco's checkout. The law should be not be interfering in transactions between consenting adults but pursuing the trafficers and this government should be tackling the porous border controls that allow them to operate so freely.
And what of those women who are only doing it to feed a drug habit? Do you think that simply denying them a ready income will get them off drugs? Do you seriously think that a government facing the need for huge spending cuts is going to expand the provision of places at rehab clinics when it has been reducing expenditure on them for years?.
Large massage parlours in town centres are far safer than clandestine backstreet premises. This move is only going to harm prostitutes because they will be forced underground and face greater risks of attack and exploitation. Men who might previously have reported suspicions to the police will no longer do so for fear of prosecution. Most of the drug addicts will receive no effective help either to beat their addiction or to find other employment and their desperation will only drive them even more into the hands of their exploiters.
Ah well! As long as the fucking idiots like Harriet Harman can feel smug, that's all that matters isn't it? This approach is so typical of the meddling left, they impose their supposed solutions without ever thinking about the even worse problems their "solution" creates.
Arse of the week
It was a toss up between the ghastly Harriet Harman (see above) and Bob Fucking Crowe but we decided on Crowe.
If we have to listen one more time to his sanctimonious nonsense about train/tube strikes being about public safety we shall puke. It is not about safety but about preserving pay for already overpaid people and about him being a fucking communist!
The complete illogic of his approach was illustrated by his reference to not wanting to see train crashes like those that have happened in the past. Yes! Crashes mostly caused by driver error!. Public safety would be far better served by sacking overpaid drivers on the tubes and main railway lines and replacing them by automated systems. With proper design the chances of fatal crashes would be much reduced.
Gosh, we were handsome then
Looking for some old books (dating from early 17th century) in the attic as had awful panic we might have chucked them out with a box of paperbacks in the last big clearout. Fortunately not, they were in an old shoe box in the corner. Also there was something not quite so old, a photo taken at a place I once worked as they seemed to think that a portfolio of the team would help sell their products.
We haven't changed a bit.
PS Yes it is an extremely cheap jacket, they never told us they were going to take photos that day.
PPS No I don't look GAY! How dare you?
We're rich!
Late this afternoon we had one of the most spectacular rainbows we have ever seen. Actually a double rainbow that made a complete arc from horizon to horizon.
But never mind that wonders of nature crap, it was where the rainbow ended. As you can just about see from this reduced photo it is actually came down in the trees in front of the quarry behind our house. What is even stranger, there is actually a pot there! An old white enamelled teapot with a tree growing through it. I must have walked past it umpteen times in thirty years without realising it was full of gold!!!! As soon as the brickworks packs up today I'll be over the fence and having it!
What should we buy first? a big yacht or a Ferrari?
PS That horrible little pidgeon isn't getting any either.
15 second justice
Even simple laws that are passed in the UK must cost us millions, if not tens of millions of pounds. Advice from expensive legal advisors, reports and umpteen revisions of same from overpaid civil servants, consultations with experts, consultations with the public (ha! ha! ha!), trials, drafting, discussions in parliament, revisions by parliament, passage by parliament, discussions in the lords, revisions by the lords, discussions in parliament etc etc ... blah blah blah, publication.
One has to ask in many cases, WHAT THE FUCK FOR? Basic common sense of the British people could decide everything in a fraction of the time, you don't need written rules. Why don't we abolish all laws and have tribunals of citizens to decide everything, not by reference to law which, most of the time, is a pile of unworkable crap but purely by reference to the common good as perceived by the average citizen?
This evening, while slurping our tea, we were idly watching some "Cops on camera" sort of thing where a motor cyclist was doing 140mph, overtaking, undertaking, swerving from lane to lane including the hard shoulder. Summons, court hearing. Even allowing for the fact that magistrates don't get salary, how much does that cost us? What consideration of the facts really are necessary? The average citizen would take 5 seconds to decide "what a total arse, £2000 fine, 3 year ban". Sound judgement.
Look at how some boundary disputes, even when average urban gardens are involved, have cost the protaganists hundreds of thousand of pounds. WTF is there to consider in such cases? At most, deeds and other legal documents numbering about ten pages, a couple of determinations by surveyors and a handful of witness statements that should not take anyone more than a day to consider. We are simply being ripped off by the legal profession who pretend a great complexity that simply does not exist to line their own pockets. Mr Common sense man in the street would make an immensely cheaper decision that on average was at least as sensible.
A more serious criminal case on the news tonight was the conviction of a couple who abused and eventually killed the child of friends. Ok, we can all understand how how annoyed and irrational you can get after several nights without proper sleep, but this was not a one off assault but a catalogue of assaults on somebody else's child over 3 months. You would have to be a total cretin and a complete waste of space to think you could get away with it. Mr Common Sense Man In The Street would say, no excuse, bang the bastards up for almost ever and Mr Common Sense Man In The Street, as he usually is, would be right. What laws do you actually need here?
We at bloggoth propose a huge reduction in our taxes by abolishing the state. Abolish parliament and the lords. Sack all the civils servants and the judges. Set up Come Dancing/Big Brother style TV juries to decide on everything via a special 24 hour TV channel. Put all court cases on there, both civil and criminal. Viewers can cycle through a 15 second presentation of the case. Majority votes after an hour decides.
The right society is what most members of that society want. No other criterion makes any sense whatever.
Get your missiles here
It seems that President Obummer and President Medvid.., Mevdid..., Mivdev.. the Russian president have agreed a major reduction in their nuclear arsenals. Wahee! We can only be blown to bits 10 times over instead of 15 times over! That's progress eh?
Waste not, want not. Ever ahead of the general public, we at bloggoth put in our bid for some of those 3000 warheads early and have secured a significant number at knock down prices. These are now available to our non-existent readers at a substantial discount. Somebody you don't like? Scum neighbours, horrible foreign/common sorts, politicians, lefties, lawyers, Belgians. No loss to the world. Do them before you they do you.
All bids to xoggoth Towers at the usual address.
Just two of the huge range of almost new missiles in our garden shed.
Why the separation of science and art?
The Victorians didn't make this mistake. When they made useful things they had to be aesthetically pleasing as well. Nowadays, technology and beauty rarely meet. We ruin beautiful landscapes with ugly roads and buildings because they are necessary and then we spend fortunes on gigantic works of art, like the Angel of the North, which serve no useful purpose whatever.
Look at the furore over wind turbines; a typical wind turbine is shown at left below. Can you blame people for not wanting that dominating a country scene? If we put a little money into appealing to people's aesthetic senses and emotions we would probably save money overall from not having endless objections, protests and planning enquiries.
The second picture is what a wind turbine should look like, just stick some nylon gull's wings on to appeal to the nature lovers and put a cute puppy's head in the middle to win over Mr and Mrs average. Must we think of everything?
 |  | |
| This turbine will lead to endless protest | But everyone will love this one! | |
Images from photobucket
Sense can come from every quarter but we would expect a bit more of it from Christians
Non existent readers of bloggoth might have noticed a SLIGHT (hurray! - RANTY capitals did you see that?????) contempt for the religious generally on this site but even Bishops make sense on rare occasions. Maybe not all that rare, The bishops of York and Rochester are mostly fairly sensible (for Bishops that is) too. It is perhaps a shame that the C of E in England is led by the Arsebishop of Canterbury, that most utter idiotic PC twat, Rowan Williams, he gives a bad name to C of E Bishops generally.
The lastest recruit to our sensible (for a Bishop that is) Bishop list is the Bishop of Bath and Wells. who, as did Dr Sentamu shortly after his appointment, comments on the way Britain is being ruined by too many destructive new laws and the culture of blame that they have created. This is actually the sort of comment that should come from Christians and probably the religious generally.
What the hell is the concept of personal salvation based upon if not upon the idea that the individual makes his own choices? If everything that happens to us always the fault of somebody else or society generally and never our own then on what basis could any just god judge us?
Really gay
News of another case of a gay couple refused room at a B&B.
And why not? On the one hand, we are all in favour of individual freedom and what people do with their bits and arses in private is entirely their own business. On the other hand, surely owners of small businesses like that should have some say over what goes on on their own premises? As we keep saying, one person's rights cannot exist in isolation from everyone else's.
It is not a question of what is right or wrong, those concepts are meaningless bullshit anyway, but about what works and the reality of going with human nature as it is and not as we would like it to be. A sensible government that believes in the individual would repeal all these discrimination laws in as far as they apply to very small companies and to peoples' own properties.
There are sound reasons in the public interest to disallow discrimination generally but one of the essential ingredients of working with human nature as it is is allowing each of us as individuals to have the ultimate say on that very, very small personal space that surrounds us.
PS There's keyholes in the doors and there's knotholes in the floors, there's a shortage of good whores in Mobile. But you'd have to be really gay to fancy another old bloke like that.
Eh?
Yet another scandal and yet again the worst offenders are Labour MPs. This time four Labour MPs are implicated in a 'cash for influence' scandal. The MPs are Stephen Byers, Patricia Hewitt, Geoff Hoon and.... WHAT? Geoff-the-only-zombie-in-the-government-Hoon has influence?
Who/what with, for fucks sake?
Move on a bit
Predicting the future, faith healing, contacting the dead. All as much bollox as actual witchcraft but if there's any offence involved by those who claim they can do these things it will only be that of deliberately duping credulous people.
In the UK, the last execution for witchcraft was in 1684. What better proof is there of the backwardness of Islam than the news that a man faces execution for sorcery in Saudi Arabia?. What utter crap this religion of the insane 6th century warlord is, how the hell can anyone defend it?
RANTY CLASSES
Non existent readers may have noticed in the last few items that we are starting to master some basic essential skills of the RANTY BLOGGER! Like saying FUCKING a lot and using LOTS OF CAPITALS and exclamation marks!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
We have only been going to the RANTY BLOGGER CLASSES for a short while but are making steady progress and very soon we will be peppering our threads with CUNT and WANKER as well as FUCKING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Within a few months we hope to have progressed to the ultimate in UNBALANCED RANTY SKILLS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
WITH LOTS OF RED AND GREEN TEXT!!!!
ISN'T THIS FABULOUS? ADOLPH WOULD HAVE LOVED IT!!!!
COR, FUCKING ELL, MY EYES HURT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
And again
On more than one occasions we at bloggoth have remarked that, whatever allegations some like to make about the right wing, it the left that is responsible for most violence in the UK and Europe. Most recently here, where the source was an official EU publication.
Yet again, we see the left at work at a "counter demonstration" against the EDL.
Assistant Chief Constable Garry Shewan, who led the police operation, said:
....
We, the council and the communities of Bolton have worked hard over recent weeks in order to facilitate these protests in a safe and responsible manner.
Today in Bolton we have seen some small evidence of this protest in the form of flag waving and vitriolic name calling - but we have also seen groups of people,
predominantly associated with the UAF, engaging in violent confrontation.
Unfortunately it does appear that, despite the words of reason on their website, the EDL may really have been hijacked by right wing elements with a broader motivation than just stopping the spread of an Islam that does not accept the basic principles of British society and some of the name calling by the UAF might actually be accurate.
Still, peaceful protest and name calling is one thing. Violence is another. VIOLENCE? Probably the left! It nearly always is.
Another brilliant idea to cut government expenditure
An official policy of state plagiarism!
Just think of the money that goes into thinking up new laws, researching them (haa hah ha Ha ha hooo haaaa - sorry!), drafting them, trialling them (sometimes) and publishing the new laws to the public. Why do we bother when there are 194 other nations in the world? One of them is bound to have a similar law already that has been in force long enough that we can see if it actually works.
Obviously, there are still costs involved in getting parliamentary approval but otherwise just ripping off other countrys' laws would be a great way to save money! For example, reforms to stop the UK being the world's libel centre have the support of all the major parties but even so, how much are they going to cost us by the time numerous highly paid learned experts have had their say in the minutiae of the text? Why bother? The US is the obvious centre of free speech, so this is all the law we need:-
United Kingdom Libel Act 2010
All previous laws are revoked and freedom of speech will apply as under the US constitution. Please see http://www.usa.gov for further information.
If the US laws change for the worse we just cross out US and put Kazakhstan or whatever.
Second thoughts
We at bloggoth have suddenly had doubts about our atheism. Hell sounds bad enough but we suddenly thought about the implications of the bottomless pit. Being in a pit for all eternity without any bottoms? We could do without tits for the rest of time but no huge arses ever again? Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaagh!
The world's second greatest work of art
We did an even more brilliant one last time but left it behind at the art class. It was undoubtably stolen by international art thieves and even now is probably occupying pride of place on the wall of Baron Rothschild.
One small problem, well, at least two actually
The Times reports on government plans to create a paperless state and save billions by replacing large numbers of public servants by online systems. The idea is that anything from claiming welfare to booking a doctor's appointment could be done via the internet. Nice idea but the problems are obvious:-
1. This government, which is largely funded by UNITE and other public sector unions will not have the will to do anything that actually reduces public sector jobs. In all the time they have been in power the expansion of the public sector and the rising cost to the taxpayer has been relentless. You pay the government via your taxes, the government pays the public sector workers, the public sector workers pay the unions and the unions fund the Labour Party. That is the way Stalinist Britain works. The only way we will get online systems to replace public sector workers under this government is if those public sector workers are reallocated to jobs administering the online systems, obviously with higher pay to suit their greater responsibilities. There will probably even be an expansion of jobs, after all, a few more equality outreach workers to ensure equal opportunities, avoid discrimination against the disadvantaged etc etc are bound to be necessary.
2. The government cannot implement an IT system properly to save its life. Actually, that is not quite fair, give them long enough and pour enough money in and eventually even the government will come up with systems that work quite well. Last year the online tax systems were very acceptable. But when they do eventually succeed they set about totally fucking them up. This year they have changed to client-based Adobe submission systems that DON'T FUCKING WORK interfacing to host-based xlbr based systems that DON'T FUCKING WORK.
It isn't just that the implementation is wrong, THE WHOLE FUCKING APPROACH is wrong. Given the huge user base of a public with many machines, often old models with outdated operating systems and software, with all sorts of other software installed to potentially cause conflicts, with users who know very little about IT, you need the lowest common denominator of software. That means simple HTML forms-based software that will run the same way on any of numerous free browsers, on PC's Macs, Unix etc, on even the oldest machines within reason, and with the bulk of the processing, including the data validation and security checks, on tried and tested host-based systems. Using FUCKING ADOBE READER on the client machine is insane, even without interfacing to an untested xlbr system on the host. The Companies House accounts system, if it doesn't work the first time, won't even let you try again! HOW FUCKING STUPID IS THAT?
We at bloggoth have 35 years IT experience, we develop and sell software, but have completely given up using HMRC and Companies House systems. We cannot be bothered spending hours trying to find causes of faults which do not relate in any way to the data we have typed in and in future, at least until we hear they have sorted the systems out, it is all going to be paper and biro submissions from us. What chance that the elderly or IT illiterate are going to bother with their marvellous online solutions?
We deny all allegations of impropriety
In view of allegations in public by Mr P, we would like to set the record straight. At no time have we ever sucked his beak, nor would we ever consider doing so even if he had dipped it in the most expensive Scottish whisky. We are a normal, happily married man (although a lot more arse access would make us happier) and would never dream of improper sexual relations with a parrot, puppet or otherwise.
Well said
Johann Hari in The Independent:
Yes, I understand some people feel sad when they see a figure they were taught as a child to revere - whether Prophet or Pope - being subjected to rational examination,
or mockery, or criminal investigation. But everyone has ideas they hold precious. Only you, the religious, demand to be protected from debate or scrutiny that might
discomfort you. The fact you believe an invisible supernatural being approves of - or even commands - your behaviour doesn't mean it deserves more respect, or sensitive
handling. It means it deserves less. If you base your behaviour on such a preposterous fantasy, you should expect to be checked by criticism and mockery. You need it.
If you can't bear to hear your religious figures criticised - if you think Ratzinger is somehow above the law, or Mohamed should be defended with an axe - a sane society
should have only one sentence for you. Tell it to the judge.
Legal highs
There have been several cases, three very recently, of deaths thought to be due to consumption of the legal high known as Miaow. This is actually Mephedrone which is sold perfectly legally as a plant food.
How did somebody find out about its effects in the first place? Who on earth eats plant food to see if it can make you high? Do people do the same thing with toilet cleaners, aftershave, brake fluid or dishwasher tablets? Maybe so, perhaps the only reason Toilet Duck is not a legal high is that it gives you a terrible hangover.
Anyway, we at bloggoth were clearing out the garden storage unit yesterday and it occured to us that maybe we should not throw away that ancient packet of lawn food or the torn bag of John Innes compost with a dead mouse in it as one of you non existent readers might be able to get high on them. Please send your bids to xoggoth Towers at the usual address. You'd better hurry as we anticipate a huge demand.
Terms and conditions apply. Photo for illustration purposes only. Actual box of lawn food supplied may be much older, dirtier, tattier and emptier than shown here and may contain mouse droppings.
bloggoth instals a panic button
We have been under immense pressure by the authorities and today we at bloggoth have given in to the legal threats and installed a panic button on bloggoth. A special site, "Safety From bloggoth Bollox" has been set up where non existent readers can report their concerns.
Anyone who feels their sanity is threated by the constant stream of ranty rubbish on here should click the button at right.
We need at least six elections a year
Can't find it online, but Ceefax was reporting this morning that the government had withdrawn its idea to enforce microchipping of all dogs, saying it penalised innocent owners.
Good move, we at bloggoth hate this ridulous macho thing political parties have about changing their minds. If a law isn't working out it as intended, it should be revoked, that's sound government. *Note There's nothing wrong either with publicly airing a proposal and getting expert and public reaction to it before deciding whether to proceed, isn't that what democracy should be about?
But this sensible reasoning is not the norm. Rather than control people trafficers, let's prosecute men who unknowingly pay for sex with trafficed women. Rather than control our borders properly and end the numerous incentives to evade them, let's lay huge burdens of red tape on businesses looking for workers. Rather than pursue the miscreants, let's have whole areas of our towns where innocent youths are not permitted to congregrate or even be after dark. Rather than catch those driving untaxed vehicles let's penalise people who forget to declare a car kept on their own drive. Penalising the innocent rather than those who cause the problems is the definition of socialism!
So why this sensible decision now? That's obvious, there's an election coming in about 8 weeks and there is now just too huge a pile of objectionable legislation deferred until after the election for the parliamentary program to cope with. What is the obvious conclusion? That's right! We should have an election every two months, that way we might get some democracy and some sense in our legislation.
Note: Although not passing so many fecking stupid laws in the first place might be sounder obviously.