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Here we see that Satan has walked across my neighbour's garden. He found it easier to get to than our garden as his 4x4 is in for servicing and we have not cleared the snow from our front drive.

Real British surgeons in the 1950s preparing to insert several copies of the Beano into a patient's thorax.

Good wholesome British comics like the Beano, Dandy or Eagle inside you were reckoned to speed up the recovery process by over 20%.

Tell me about it. The spelling and punctuation in the stuff I get is terrible.

Topic: Personal Wikileaks       Comment here.       Comments so far: 0

Bah

Nice running day, last we might get for a while and, as often happens, came upon a herd of Fallow Deer. Harem would be more accurate as they usually consist of a stag and a bunch of females. Lucky stag! The only other males are usually young ones who haven't got the horn much yet and are not a threat. Here we see a large antlered stag at left and a few of his totties (about a quarter of the total) plus a pale little tiny horned stag following respectfully at the rear. Yeh, they are crap photos but you can't get near enough for a decent shot.

The downside of today was that we lost our mobile phone in the forest. It really is a problem being so insanely anthropomorphic about everything as we are now sitting here imagining our poor little phone all lonely and cold in the dark woods.

Crazy priorities

Many rightly get pissed off with the abuse of our asylum system by economic and too often criminal migrants who should not be able to apply here at all if we adhered to the UN convention. Yet on those occasions when we really should help, when we know the stories are not baloney, when these are people who have risked their lives to help us, when it is because of us that they face a problem, we seem to do very little. Surely Iraqi interpreters deserve more than those others.

Darn it Photobucket! We may be suspiciously handsome but we are not gay!!

We only wanted a PD photo of Roger Moore as he is now to illustrate an item on aging and the way that we at bloggoth were almost immune to it. Now we keep getting emails from Photobucket to say that another photo of a youthful Roger Moore has been uploaded. Look 'ere Pb, do we look like the sort who wants to drool over sexy pictures of a young Roger Moore?

Let market forces rule

This BBC article asks "Do the poor have a right to live in expensive areas?" to which the only sane reply is no.

Drug reports

According to a report in the Lancet alcohol is more harmful than heroin or crack. This is based on both the harm to the individual and the harm to wider society. Presumably then, a major factor is the sheer scale of the problem due to alcohol because far more people use it.

We wouldn't quarrel with the results of a conclusion by experts and when you think of the social and health problems that alcohol causes or exacerbates it certainly sounds about right. However, on the same basis of the scale of the problems caused would you not also conclude that normal people losing their temper is far more of a problem than violent schizophrenia?

The danger with any study, no matter how accurate, is that the conclusions tend to be misused and in this case some will claim support for the misguided view that currently illegal drugs should be legalised. There are three realities here:

1. The fact that we have a huge problem with one drug is hardly a rational reason to increase the problems caused by other drugs. If we legalised them what would be the consequences if society was using other drugs on the scale they are now using alcohol? Even relatively mild drugs cause problems with high usage, the widespread consumption of Khat in Yemen is blamed by many for the failures of its citizens to better themselves. High levels of mouth cancer are a lesser effect.
   
   
2. We need to concentrate on problems that might have solutions and as far as alcohol consumption is concerned the cat had been out of the bag for millenia, anyone can make this stuff from unbannable foodstuffs after all. We can and should crack down on consequences like drink driving and anti-social behaviour but we can't stop consumption. On the other hand, the major drugs are either imported or need access to equipment or chemicals for production and they are used by fewer people so some containment is at least practical.
   
   
3. You cannot solve every flaw in every man. We need to concentrate on those whose habits cause a disproportionate problem to the rest of us. This certainly includes those whose life failures or bad behaviour is exacerbated by alcohol but one suspects that the ratio of (problem consumers/total consumers) is a smaller figure for alcohol than it is for cocaine or heroin and far less than for psychosis or depression inducing drugs like LSD, skunk cannabis and ectasy which get low ratings in this study.

Racist van slurs

We VAN owners, especially when the van is white, are constantly the butt of racist stereotyping, the least of which are suggestions that we drive recklessly and are aggressive to other road users. It isn't remotely true as this BBC report shows and anyway, if you bastards got your stupid little cars out of our way and stopped holding us up there wouldn't be a problem.

The idea that white vans are the favoured vehicle of child abductors is so prevalent, covering every continent, that it is part of the urban dictionary. You do seem to get far more abduction cases coming up if you Google "white van child abduction" than if you Google "black car child abduction" but some of them are without foundation as here, here and here. It's another stereotype. If there is an ounce of truth in it it is only for the practical reason that you can cram more children into a van.

We even get blamed for mass abductions of Tamils in Sri Lanka. This advice from crime stoppers really is the last straw. What criminal intent is implied we are not sure. Robbery, kidnap, rape, carjacking perhaps. Maybe all of them, we are VAN owners after all.

Do not park next to a van. If you find that you are parked next to a van when you return to your car and the van is on the driver's side, enter your vehicle from the passenger side.

It's disgraceful!! Much less racist comments about blacks, Muslims, gays or travellers have attracted police attention in the past. How are we van drivers less of a "race" than travellers? We demand an apology on behalf of our victimised and socially excluded minority. Any anti-van racists among the non existent readership can bog off now.

bloggoth van accessory shop

Have they gone? Great, now we can get down to business. We at bloggoth have designed two great new low cost accessories for our fellow van owners.

Protect your van from pedestrian collisions with the bloggoth van shield - only £170+VAT

Sensible van owners choose small children or the very elderly to run over on pedestrian crossings as they cause less damage to the bodywork. However, even a frail old skull can crack your windscreen or dent your bonnet so we think our removeable front shield will be very popular. Based on anti IED technology used by the British army, this lightweight folding shield will completely protect the front of your van from damage while being unnoticeable to the untrained eye.

You can also fit or remove it in under a minute and there are no signs of the fitment. After a pleasurable "accident" just remove and hide the shield and the police will be unable to find any visible sign that your van has been in a collision. Use in conjunction with our quick-remove false number plates for best results.

The shield comes in sizes to fit all common models and any colour as long as it's white.

Looking for ways to attract children to your van while disguising it as well? Why not buy the bloggoth ice cream van pack? - only £55.90+VAT

The pack includes a set of resusable stickers and a "Mr Choccy Cone" for the roof of the van with a built in chime. The large panel stickers look just like the serving hatches of an ice cream van and will also cover up any give away trade signs like Joes Building Services etc. There are also 30 smaller stickers of 99s, ice cream cones, whippies, lollies etc for that authentic look.

When children hear the familar "Popeye The Sailor Man" tune they will come running up clutching the change their mums have given them and you can capture them with the big net included in the pack. All parts of the kit can be quickly removed before the police come looking. When you have had your fun, keep that lolly and choc ice money and this kit may even pay for itself!!

Coming soon. We did not think there would be much demand for Tamil capturing features on UK vans but further research showed we were wrong. It seems that there have been so many extremely violent incidents in London by Tamil gangs that police have had to form yet another special migrant crime task force to deal with it. We are therefore working on a Tamil capturing kit for use by violent gang members from other fantastic and vibrant migrant communities. Oi blood! Get respec with bloggoth van accessories. Yo.

TIME FOR A RANT! says Zebedee

Insane

Today the main news story is that a bomb was planted in Yemen on a US bound cargo plane. Rather less well publicised is the news that the recent huge increases in foreign aid will include a 400% rise in aid to... you've geussed it, Yemen. The UK is now the largest EU donor to that backward Muslim country which most experts agree is the new centre for Islamic terrorism.

Some may argue that, by reducing poverty, aid is likely to reduce radicalism. Those some are either incredibly naive or they have far too much faith in the competence of our government to check how aid money is spent. The reality is that far from helping ordinary people towards prosperity and democracy, aid is often used by those in power, either in central government or locally, to serve themselves. This article cannot simply be dismissed because it is in The Telegraph, the report that the article is based on is by the Human Rights Watch, no rightist organisation as their stance on the Roma in Europe and those accused of terrorism in the US indicates.

This report actually contains nothing new. People should read "Where we have hope" by former Guardian correspondent Andrew Meldrum on Zimbabwe since independence. The only reason Mugabe began the white farm invasions is because the UN refused to provide further finance to buy them out unless they could exercise proper control. The billions previously provided by the UK and other donors had been largely wasted, with much of the land having been given to his own supporters rather than to those who might have run the farms properly. Contrary to romantic perception, Mugabe was corrupt from the day he assumed power.

Nor is it simply about political corruption, many believe that foreign aid is destructive in other ways, for example it discourages production by depressing prices for local farmers, allows complacency and the pursuit of counterproductive policies by governments and undermines the work of more effective charities. There is every reason to believe that the foreign aid that costs every family in the UK £300 a year is money largely wasted. Returning to the idea that aid reduces extremism, an especially relevant point quoted in that article is this one:

The West has created an entity hostile to itself—this is the biggest and most intriguing of the many anomalies of aid. Individual Third World countries are often neutral or even friendly to the West, but the organized and articulate Third World is at best critical and more often hostile. The purpose of the Third World qua collectivity is to coax or extract money from the West.

This should not surprise anyone who has any grasp of human nature. Gratitude turns to acceptance and acceptance to expectation. What you give freely to people for no return turns into something they think they have a right to receive and they resent you if they do not get it. This is likely to apply especially to Muslim countries who are hostile to the Western way of life. The criticisms by Muslims for military and political interference in Muslim countries are frequently justified but does anyone ever see any credit given for EU aid to Gaza, the NATO intervention in Kosovo or the ousting of Saddam Hussein from Kuwait?

There are good reasons for not giving aid to Yemen, a) It is unlikely to benefit ordinary people there b) It is highly likely that at least some of it is actually funding the fanatics, c) It will not bring us one ounce of goodwill and will do nothing whatever to secure our own safety and d) We could find much better uses for it in the UK.

As ridiculous as religion can get

A Muslim man jokingly says "I divorce thee" three times online and finds that, not only is he actually divorced under an Islamic ruling but he cannot remarry her unless she first marries somebody else. Is there any better example of what a ridiculous fucking idiotic joke this religion is? Knowing Islam, there probably is.

Retro corner

As non existent readers will know, we at bloggoth are always bang up to date in our reporting of the news. The burning question of the day is....

Why is President Kennedy sniffing a giant Dalek's bumhole?

Nuts

Glad to see The Indepependent has once again said what we at bloggoth would say if we could be arsed. This time about Lauren Booth's conversion to Islam.

What sort of woman converts to a faith that does not think women should truly control their own lives? Come to that, why on Earth would anyone out of free choice convert to a religion that thereafter allows them none?

Sham marriages to be declared legal

Sham marriages are in the news a lot recently, usually between EU brides and third world grooms, but occasionally it's the other way round as here. When the bride and groom can't even speak the same language, as in that case, it would have needed connivance by corrupt officials for the marriage to go ahead but this may not be true for much logger.

in another bloggoth exclusive we can reveal that the European Court of Human Rights is shortly expected to rule that preventing a similar couple from marrying was a violation of their human rights and this ruling will mean that a marriage between willing parties must be regarded as legal whatever the reason.

Furthermore the state will be obliged to provide assistance, including government funded translators, to ensure that the marriage is given every chance of success, at least until the right to British residence is attained.

Nicking our ideas again

A new quality paper that offers news items in a concise brief format. Just as we recommended a little while back.

Oh yes, and those little preview boxes that you see when you hover over things in your Windows 7 taskbar. Had those in our educational programs 6 months before Windows 7 came out. Bastards.

Pervy bear

That Polar Bear in the Bird's Eye ad has to be quite the perviest animal anyone has ever found in their fridge. Hi there Fiona, glad you got that pack of frozen prawns out of the way, now would you like to watch while I do THIS?? Feeling hungry Fiona? Here's something for you to snack on. It may be a bit cold right now but it will soon warm up. Oh Yeeeh!!!

Not all it seems

I see Jane Austen's marvellous prose may not be hers after all.

Oi!!

We remember the real thing

Kyrie Eleison, Christe Eleison, Kyrie Eleison.
The lord be with you. And with thy spirit. Stand up. Sit. Kneel down
Pater Noster,
qui es in celis,
sanctificatur nomen tuum,
et veniat regnum tuum,
qui est in celis et in terra er um
um er
stand up
sit down
kneel
stand up again

Why people find comfort in religion we have no idea. We at bloggoth always found it a total crashing bore and could never wait for the mass to be over. This tune is good though.

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Strictly Come Dancing as an inverse model for humanity

We may have mentioned on the odd occasion how much we hate the missus for watching Strictly Come Dancing. This program is surely the best justification for murdering one's spouse that has ever been invented. It is not only utterly tedious, it epitomises a total inversion of every attitude that sane men should cling to.

Like, why the fuck is Anne Widdecombe still there? Yes, even though we totally disagree with her Christian views we would agree she is a very likeable and principled lady but none of that has fuck all to do with anything in this context. She can't dance! This is a dancing contest so what else should be considered?

The judges are all archetypes. The Italian bloke is an affected loony, we are supposed to love him but personally I would shoot him, how f* irritating can one person get? The old chap is ostensibly the epitome of a kind sort, looking for something nice to say about everyone but it is obvious to we at bloggoth that he is a ghastly old perve. Trust us, we know about these things. Aleisha Dixon? We remember her name because she had celebrity outside this narrow reference but as to the bits of the show we have been unable to avoid nothing much springs to mind.

Which brings us to the villain, Craig Revel Horwood, the only honest man in the bunch. Why does this man get jeered when he tells Widdecombe and the various other fat, unfit, so-called celebrities who can't dance worth a fig that they can't dance worth a fig? This is how society should mostly be, based on honesty. There must be an exception for those who have no potential for improvement or for pursuing other paths, we do not support jeering at disabilities, but we do not do the able, whether individuals or whole sectors of society, any favours by pretence. Pretence only provides ready made excuses, reasons to avoid necessary actions.

We need more people like this man in real life.

Image by Peter Taylor

Talking of honesty

Today Alan Sugar has been accused of making preposterous and demeaning comments about Nigeria. "I had an offer like that from Nigeria once and, funnily enough, it didn't transpire"

Those of us who have email accounts will know that the only remotely preposterous thing about Sir Alan's comments is the use of the word "once" Fact! Nigeria is one of the major causes of fraud for those in the UK and it costs the UK billions. Maybe His Excellency Dr Dalhatu Sarki Tafida would do better to concentrate on trying to improve his country's totally deserved reputation than damning Lord Sugar for commenting on the reality.

While he is about it, maybe he and his scumbag governmental cronies might reconsider the institutional corruption that sees 1% of the Nigerian population getting 80% of the oil wealth while most ordinary Nigerians have to get by on $1 a day. Give them a little more of what should rightfully be shared among all Nigerian citizens and defrauding the rest of the world might not be so necessary for them.

Don't blame Sir Alan, blame yourself.

xoggoth plans terrorism in a good cause

Another good jogging day on Sunday and another great new set of footpaths that took us past this lot being readied for Christmas.

How the hell can you horrible non existent readers eat these nice little creatures? Wonder how many we could let free before we got arrested?

Horrible foreigners

Ruining our nation. We are referring, quite obviously, to invasive species of plants and animals. Another one we read about today is New Zealand Pigmyweed. Looks famiar, that's the plant that is completely choking our pond to the detriment of the British species in it, like the Loch Ness Monster.

We have to own up to almost spreading it even more. We were planning to dump it in the stream at the bottom of our garden once it was running freely again as we just can't bear the thought of poor little pond snails and other water creatures being thrown on the compost heap to dry out. Now we will have to spend hours picking them out by hand, apologising to them all individually and putting them back in the pond. Darn!

PS

We at bloggoth doubt the benefits of our wonderful human migrants? Of course not, the very idea! They are all fantastic! Anyone who would be swayed by trivia, like the facts that all five of the murder convictions reported by the BBC and non-tabloid press today (21 October 2010) were by migrant/minority persons and that a 50%+ proportion for the most serious crimes in England is not particularly unusual, must be utter racists. Shame on them.

• BBC
• BBC
• BBC
• BBC
• Independent. More details here.

We note from the last link that the UK’s first legal advice centre to offer free confidential support to people who witness street violence opened a few days ago in Hackney and Islington. We really can't think why they would need one there. 2,195 robberies? 12,244 violent offences? That will be the BNP again. Bastards!

Diversity is truly fantastic. On the same day, how splendid to find robust differences of opinion envigorating our society and to observe the generous nature of some of our newer citizens. Well done to them all we say!

Broken promises? Hardly

One continually reads of people accusing the Tories of breaking promises. How about a bit of logic here? Those promises were about what the party would do if they formed the government but they didn't. How can a coalition of two parties keep pre-election promises that are mutually incompatible exactly?

Why are people so daft?

Piss off, oh wait, hang on though

A bishop has urged parents not to let their children dress up in ghoulish gear on Halloween, rather they should dress up as saints to celebrate All Hallows day. Our first thought was, what's wrong with kids dressing up as monsters, ghosts and witches? They enjoy it; the idea that it is somehow drawing them all into Satanism is complete bilge.

But then, casting our mind back to our Catholic days, we decided that actually the grim fates of some martyrs were great subjects to celebrate on Halloween, that of Saint Bartholomew for example. Kids would just love dressing up in plastic St Bartholemew skins.

More things to fancy

Perversity is a sure sign of intelligence and the proof of this is to be found in nature. While animals may use devices like crests or bold colours to attract mates these appear to be the equivalent of stylish clothes or a flash car in human males, there is no evidence that they actually have any significance during sex. A bull has never been observed staring laviciously at a cow's underneath and lowing "Cooor! look the udders on that".

It takes the rationality of man to extend sexual pleasure by fancying a whole range of other body bits, not just fannies but other parts like arses, tits, feet, faces, legs and hair. There are probably even wierdos who have a thing about elbows but obviously they would keep quiet about it.

More arrests please

For bloggers wanting to illustrate a good rant, the most difficult free images to get hold of legally are those of politicians. One good source of public domain and basic attribution images is Wikimedia Commons and for that we have to be largely grateful to the US government who release many photos taken on official state occasions into the public domain, including some good pics of our own major politicians. Wish one could say the same of our own government who insist on Crown Copyright and only flog off rights via expensive and litigous image licencing companies. Good old UK! Whatever its citizens are trying to do, they can be sure their government will be busy ripping them off.

Celebrities can be hard to get good pictures of too, unless they have been arrested in the US. Using this picture of Mel Gibson is entirely legal unless Wikimedia have got it wrong. "This file is in the public domain, because It's a photo released by the Los Angeles sheriffs department whose mugshots are by default public domain"

Doubt our police do the same thing but it's worth a look, except we don't really want lots of pictures of most celebrities anyway.

George Michael	George Michael	George Michael	George Michael

TIME FOR A RANT! says Zebedee

End tax breaks for all religion

It is that time of year again when we can't drive to town by the usual route without passing rows of people in Guy Fawkes masks protesting at the International Association of Scientologists conference outside Saint Hill Manor. Coincidentally or not, a minister has today urged councils to give no tax breaks for Scientology.

There are some distinctly disturbing aspects to Scientology, most notably the policy of disconnection that breaks up families and the way they use harrassment to silence critics. Those occasions in the US with their stalking of BBC's John Sweeney do not seem atypical, they appear to be doing it in my neighbourhood too. But in what sense are they worse than other religions?

Following their active opponents around with cameras is hardly as bad as physically attacking others of a different creed or engaging in terrorism like our wonderful Muslim community does. At least Scientology appears to accord equal rights to women, which is more than you can say for the Catholic Church or even the good old C of E. At least (so far as we know) it is not involved in widespread child abuse, promoting idiot views on condoms that are killing millions, cutting off limbs, imprisoning homosexuals and adulterers or successfully interfering in the freedoms of the general public.

As for the idea that Scientology brainwashes people, have a look at this exposition. So they take in vulnerable people, present them with solutions in black and white, encourage them not to interact with those of other persuasions or consider other beliefs, appeal to fear and guilt, use ritual to heighten mystical experience, manipulate language to construct a new reality. How are those things different to the practices of other religions exactly?

According to Mr Pickles, Scientology is not a registered charity since it does not provide a public benefit. So how do other religions provide any more of a public benefit? The only positive of religion is that it provides comfort to its believers and in some cases that may reduce problems for the rest of us, but Scientology does that too. How is it not a benefit to us all that these "vulnerable people" the drifters, alcoholics, drug addicts, petty criminals and those with mental health problems are encouraged to find some focus in their lives, even if that is following the writings of Ron Hubbard? Hubbard's idea may be daft but no more so than a lot of religious teachings and at least they don't appear to lead young men into an even worse path of fundamentalist terrorism.

As religions go, Scientology seems to a be darn sight less of a problem than Islam or Christianity. We quite agree that it should not receive tax breaks except for specific activities which may qualify on their own merits but that should apply to all religions. The rest of us have been picking up the bill for other peoples′ superstitions for long enough.

Story time

We think we must be a bad influence. All the nice old ladies at our writers′ club used to write cheery little romances and stories about their childhood but more and more we are getting dark tales of murder, supernatural and the downright wierd. Here is our own contribution in which a couple bring back more than they bargained for from a routine holiday in Scotland.

Memento from a holiday

Time marcheth on

Regular non existent readers pass on. Simply musing.

Probably to do with

Last great day of the year. We tend to take weekends off from major exercise but today was too good a country jog day to miss. We remembered the camera this time so lots of nice little creatures.

This one spotted us and came trotting over to share its flies. A lot of horses round here are like Muslim ladies in the summer, their owners fit mesh veils over their heads to give them a bit of peace but presumably it was a bit late in the season.

Another nice little thing. For some reason neither donkeys nor cows seem to attract flies like horses do. It must be their aftershave.

Quite what these are, not sure. Look like young crickets or grasshoppers but not seen green and red ones like that before.

We took some pictures of some flies on dung too but they did not come out very well and in any case we could not post them here. On looking closely (we did not have our glasses) they were being RUDE! Things sitting on dung being RUDE!!!! Well really!

Mmmmmmmm! Lucky little bastards. Some things have all the luck. Maybe the next reincarnation.

Shades of Autumn

Hospital errors they don't want you to know about

Today the papers had a list of NHS mistakes that should never happen, including people having operations on the wrong parts of the body. In another bloggoth exclusive we can reveal that worse events have been covered up. In some hospitals surgical records have been mixed up with general administration records, with dire results.

Bloggoth's source told us "This has been a particular problem in recent years due to immigration. Surgeons from Germany or Nigeria are performing operations while Polish plumbers and other craftsmen have been taken on to do hospital maintenance. Due to poor ability in written and spoken English and a reluctance to question instructions from managers neither has been able to spot when a mixup occurs".

An anonymous patient admitted to a Hertfordshire hospital last year for a routine appendectomy woke up to find this luxury washbasin fitted to his chest.

The reception area of the same hospital after it was recarpetted reusing available materials as per instructions.

Images from photobucket

Why?

Are some people, some things, demonised and hated for no good reason? Jews, Japanese Knotweed, Phil Collins. Ok, Japanese Knotweed can't dance or talk or sing but Phil Collins can.

More Bucket Lists

We at bloggoth watched The Bucket List again the other night. Jack Nicholson and Morgan Freeman can't (usually) go wrong in our opinion.

In the film the aged and ailing heros set out to do all the things they want to do but haven't yet done before they die. The idea will strike a chord with many but the relevance for many ordinary people is perhaps diminished by the fact that they can't actually afford to do those things or they may be too timid and cautious to do them. We at bloggoth therefore present an alternative Bucket List for boring timid people:

• Watch some leaves dropping off a tree.
• See a complete stranger in trouble and cross the road as you don't want to get involved.
• Snigger about something you read in the Radio Times.
• Get a lift in a Volkswagon Passat.
• Have a wank over a picture of a pretty girl in Nuts Magazine, even if takes you an hour to quirt these days.
• Write "wahee" on your knee with a blue felt tip pen.
• Jump off your garden wall shouting "Geronimo"
• Visit the rockery section of your nearest garden centre.
• Spend a week surfing the net and downloading some nice pictures from the National Gallery.
• See Slough.
• Dinner at Joe's cafe just off the M23. Baked beans on toast.
• Tour the gnomes in your neighbour's garden.
• Get back in touch. This is in the film list too. Even boring people must know somebody they have lost contact with. If not or they don't want to know, you can cuddle Mr P or whatever your equivalent is, Teddy perhaps.
• Visit the nearest Taj Mahal restaurant.
• Visit the nearest Chinese restaurant.
• Find your local sewage works and see where all the poo goes.
• Wander up the road and see what's at the end of that cul de sac you have never walked down.
• Ride a bike as close as you can get to the edge of the kerb.
• Sit on the top of the compost heap.
• Drink a bottle of vodka.

There are also Bucket Lists for a) very silly people which we would post except that we can't be arsed and b) very pervy people which we have not published here for fear of being prosecuted under the Obscene Publications Act. Any non existent readers of bloggoth who want a copy of The Illustrated Pervy Bucklet List should send £100 ($497.32) to the usual address at bloggoth Towers. Your copy will be sent in a sealed envelope purporting to be from the British Legion Poppy Appeal.

Much as it pains us

We have to admit that, on this one issue at least, the Mad Messiah is the only major Western politician with any grasp of reality.

Moderate Muslims who believed in co-existence and tolerance were, he said, being undermined by the unwillingness of the West to take on the extremists′s arguments.

We think if we sympathise with the narrative - that essentially this extremism has arisen as a result, partly, of our actions - we meet it halfway, we help the modernisers to be more persuasive.

We don′t. We indulge it and we weaken them. Worse, a reaction springs up amongst our people that we are pandering to this narrative and they start to resent Muslims as a whole.

The hostile comments in The Mail llustrate his point. While it is true that his absurd actions in Iraq have helped the Muslim extremists, we should not overstate the effects. As 9/11 surely showed, it did not create the extremists, it only made their recruitment job a little easier by handing them another issue to exploit.

The aggressively proselytising nature of major branches of Islam, their opposition to the basic concepts of Western secular democracy built on individual freedoms and their intent to impose their irrational, intolerant and often repulsive principles on the rest of the world existed long before the Iraq war. As did the stupidity of our governments in not requiring all migrants to commit wholly to the major principles of our society before they were admitted.

If the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan had never happened it is unlikely that the terrorist threat would be significantly lower or that the extent of separation from our society by the Muslims in our midst and the challenges they make to its principles would be much less than they currently are.

Boring stuff - Google Android notes

We don't know where the problems lie but developing for Android on Eclipse is initially like battling a horde of evil demons and anyone used to the relative ease of .net on Visual Studio will feel like giving up. You spend your time on the net finding others with same problems but answers are few and far between. Here are some tips for beginners. It does get easier fortunately.

Looking up

First we had Paddington Bear mooching around our garden dropping marmalade, now we seem to have a giant trying to steal our greenhouse. Assuming that is a thumbprint, whoever left it must be about 80ft high.

We had hoped it was the lady of "Attack of the 80ft Woman" fame but it seems our memory is deceiving us, she was actually only a 50 foot woman. The film was very silly. Not in the idea that there could be such a giant woman (perfectly credible that) but that she would have clothes on. Since when can radiation makes clothes or other inanimate objects grow? Where could a 50 ft woman buy knickers or any other underclothing? Not even specialist shops for the larger woman do them that big.

An 80 foot woman would have an 18 foot unclothed arse and you would be underneath looking up. What bliss.

Sluggies and Waspies coming to a phone near you

We at bloggoth have been working on an Android app to identify British invertebrates. We need to tidy up the appearance and navigation now, the identification is all working properly. You answer questions about appearance and it gives you a set of thumbnails with the most likely matches. Select that to see the full picture and description.

There have been calls to ban an app Apple/Android that tracks planes on security grounds. Position location is built into the SDKs, with Android it takes just a few lines to add it to your app. Bit surprised that these people are allowed to tap into the airline radio system quite so easily but their ability is nothing compared to the genius of we at bloggoth. You just wait until my app detects that some bastard has been swatting nice little waspies. Every nest in a radius of 5 miles will be summoned to the attack!

PS The picture is from the emulator. You don't seriously think that we at bloggoth would spend £400 on a decent phone do you?

Sad

While on the subject, we are sure the non existent readers will share with us our sense of sadness at the end of the waspy season. There were 4 or 5 waspies eating our jam on 30/9, 2 on 1/10 and none at all the last two days. Still, we hope it will have given more of them the energy to survive the winter and that next year will be an even better year for waspies. Hurrah!

Update Contrary to the gloomy story above we are pleased to announce that late today (5:30pm 3/10/10) there were 5 waspies in our arbour eating jam. Hooray!!!

Paddington

We keep finding large blobs of what seems to be marmalade on our lawn. Some might say that this is something to do with the similar blobs one can see on the Cherry tree above but we know better. Paddington Bear is wandering around there at night. Just wait until we catch the messy little bleeder.

Beyond our control

In another bloggoth exclusive we can reveal that the detection of a computer virus at an Iranian power station is the mere tip of an iceburg.

Rogue governments and terrorist groups worldwide have woken up to the fact that it is not just PCs or other devices with accessible storage, like mobile phones, that can be got at. By hacking into the computers that program them these trojans can be put into the firmware of any programmable device and that means almost every modern machine or gadget from automated car production lines down to your Sky Box or your washing machine. The powers that be are trying to keep it quiet to avoid a general panic but we at bloggoth can reveal just two of the many incidents that have already occurred. Beware!

Workers at a Ford plant came back from tea break to find that the production line robots had welded huge steel rabbits' ears to 156 new cars

An elderly lady in Kent is still in shock after discovering that her washing machine has attacked and eaten both of her pet poodles.

Going back in time

The non existent readers will not have noticed some images missing on bloggoth. We mostly use our own photos and drawings/cartoons but have temporarily removed any others with odd bits from the net, pictures of horrible politicians etc, in view of some increasingly litigous companies equipped with search engines that can pick up a small part of an altered image. Not heard of bloggers or forum posters getting sued for such minor use yet, especially over bits of dustbins etc, but it will come - you heard it here first.

These images will get put back or replaced at some time once checked to be a) Public domain b) Licenced by owners for distribution or c) Unknown origin but widely used and available from Photobucket or other image sites. Even then you can't really be sure that downloadable images haven't actually been nicked from someone else. Conditions of these free image sites state that the uploader must own the content or that the image is free to use but in at least one case we have checked out that ain't true.

The only way to be totally safe is to use really old out of copyright images. Not a major problem for we at bloggoth as we mostly post utter bollux anyway and have wierd obsessions with dinosaurs (photographs taken in the Jurassic era are clearly out of copyright whatever the museums will try and tell you) but not a great option for those interested in topical affairs.

David Cameron meets with other EU leaders in Brussels today

Bob Crow calls for more tube strikes

PS: For any serious political blogger wanting a photo to illustrate a post about the RMT/unions/strikes we have placed into the public domain our astute observation that Bob Crow and Alisteir Crowley are clearly one and the same person.

Can't believe

Nobody seems to have thought of this one.

Images from Photobucket

Daft

The Daily Mail seems to keep giving us stories about women not being allowed to breast feed in public places. Can't really see the problem personally, although we at bloggoth would obviously much prefer if they got their tits out without sticking one of those ugly little things on them. But why can women exercise their natural functions while we males can't? We got arrested the other day just for jerking off in the baked beans aisle of Tesco. It isn't fair!

Pruney

The coven at left (must be 13 obviously) is now more vacant slot than link as another good one (Mr C) seems to have died and not been unpdated in any significant way for yonks. Also trimmed some righty sort of atheist ones as just too many. Where have all the SILLY blogs gone? Ho hum.

No surprise

So Ed Milliband is the new Labour Party leader. He only went ahead when Ed Balls dropped out because of the union vote. Says it all really. The unions, whose main membership is in the state sector, act like an extended arm of the state to preserve the jobs, pensions and perks of every department and quango regardless of how unecessary and inefficient they might be and they do it at the expense of private sector workers, many of whom are paid a lot less.

Some naive souls might say this is nothing to do with socialism, which should be about distributing wealth according to need, but it is in fact everything to do with what socialism is in practice.

No surprise 2

We at bloggoth do not have any offshore accounts or other tax avoidance schemes unfortunately but given the way so much tax is utterly wasted in ways that are totally contrary to the wishes of the productive populace we do not condemn those who do. Contrary to the bollux we heard from the Lib Dem conference recently, gainfully employed people keeping a bit more of the income they have worked hard for is not remotely comparable to the claiming of benefits by those who have contributed absolutely fuck all to society apart from a lot of kids who will probably be as useless as they are.

Ok, the law is the law and we are stuck with it so we have to accept legitimate ways of of tackling this so called evasion but it seems now HMRC are using the results of theft in their pursuit of the so called evaders:

It is understood HMRC has acquired a list of high net-worth individuals with accounts at the Swiss division of HSBC.
The list was stolen by an employee and passed to the taxman by the French authorities.

Why did this HSBC employee steal this information and how did it end up with the authorities? Could the theft actually have been carried out at the behest of HMRC and/or other European tax authorities? Given the way government at all levels spies on its citizens nothing would surprise us. We are all familiar with the way that laws they represent as being intended for one purpose, to tackle terrorists, identity fraud, illegal migrants or paedophiles for example, are directed against ordinary citizens as soon as they enter the statute book. Using criminal methods to gather information about us is the logical next step.

An inclusiveness that brings peace

As non existent readers will know, we at bloggoth are full of concern for our fellow man especially those unlucky enough to be born into poverty in the third or developing world. What a disgrace that there are all these criticisms of India about preparations for the Commonwealth games!!

Shame on you all!! The important thing here is to make sure that India, and preferably even poorer countries, are encouraged to join in the society of nations. We look forward to the Commonwealth games and all the other major sporting events like the Olympics, The Davis Cup, The Football World cup etc being held in places like Ethiopea, Sudan, The Congo, Zimbabwe, Somalia, Eritrea, Chad and so on. If they all get cancelled due to lack of readiness or poor security so what? It's allowing these nations to participate as equals in the global society that matters.

The fact that we at bloggoth and others who live with armchair sports mad families might get some peace from having FUCKING SPORT on TV, morning, noon and night and may even get to watch The Simpsons occasionally has absolutely nothing to do with it!!

Almost every year

When we are in the shower or bath we at bloggoth sing just like Dean Martin.

Now got the lyricy thing working that shows lyrics for youtube videos that aint got 'em. Obviously there is no point on this one as you can hear every slushy word so we put rubbish in just to test it.

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