THE CHURCH OF THE BLESSED PERRY

John H Perry was editor of Chemical Engineers' Handbook in 1950. Here is his wisdom from this holy book from the chapter on the drying of solids:

Steam consumption for a vertical turbodryer will be about 1.7 to 3.0 lb steam/lb water removed. Power cost will be about 50 per cent of the power cost for a tray dryer having the same tray area. Tunnel dryers should operate with high air volumes to ensure uniform distribution and to compensate for any by-passing around the sides, bottom and top of the trucks.

Notice the clear indication that the amounts are based wholly on practical experience, it is not 2.503 lb steam/lb water because some prophet had a vision. Tunnel dryers should operate with high air volumes for a stated practical reason and not because tunnel dryers operate in mysterious ways or because it is their will to do so and mere mortals must obey it. Nobody will stand in pulpits and fulminate that society is on a downward path because some are wickedly refusing to use the same tray areas and neither does the text state you will burn in hell fire if you choose to operate at low air volumes.

This is the lesson the blessed Perry taught us. Society should be run according to the same principles that apply to operating a distillation column, on pragmatism, reality, observation and a sound grasp of cause and effect. There is no useful purpose in the public application of religion or morality and in most cases they are millstones around our necks.

The engineer's Sunday sermon

I trust that you will do me the courtesy of respecting my religion while on this site by lowering your eyes for a moment in silent contemplation while I read a brief passage from the holy scripture. Perry's Chemical Engineer's Handbook , published by McGraw Hill, NY, 3rd edition, 1957. In the holy text of chapter 12, on the subject of design of distillation columns, the Blessed Perry writes thus:

Passage downwards through the perforations on the plates increases the contact area and therefore the separation rate of vapour and liquid

I see some of you do not understand the meaning of this passage. No, I do not mean the literal meaning, it is not demanded of mortal men that they understand the design of distillation columns, that is not necessary to attain true wisdom. The understanding that the blessed Perry, the enlightened one, required of mortal men was of the essential truth that lies beneath these words. Contemplate the meaning of these words silently for a moment. Do not try too hard, for the meaning is simple and revelation will come. Contemplate this truth. Very well. The Blessed Perry was merciful and I have been placed on this Earth to guide you in the path of his wisdom. Let us note those things that it does not say.

• If we only gave this liquid the same chance that other liquids in the column have it would not fall down through the column.
• The only reason that the liquid falls through the perforations is because it is lazy and lacks discipline. Other liquids in the column, by sheer diligence and hard work, have managed to pull themselves up the column rather than falling down through it.
• If we can only educate them properly, the vapour and liquid would not separate at all but would remain on the plate in harmony and mutual respect.
• If the liquid falls through the perforations it is quite plain that it is some other fluid's fault.
• It is a basic human right of liquid not to fall downwards through the column and we should work towards fulfilling this right.
• What the liquid needs is true fluids of vision to improve its lot.

Pour the liquid in at the top, push the vapour in at the bottom, and a certain separation is acheived with a given set of conditions. There are many different designs just as there are many models of society but any efficient distillation column works by using the basic laws of physics and thermodynamics. There are no ifs, no if onlys, no buts, no perhapses, no maybes, no could bes, no theoretical rights, no blaming, no scapegoats, no villians, no heros, no messiahs.

So should it be with human societies, follow and work with the basic rules of human nature.

Shootings

Everyone has their pet theories about the reasons for the large numbers of murders by youths recently. Poor parenting, absentee fathers, bad education, liberalism, immigration, decline of religion, poverty, lack of responsibility encouraged by the welfare state, violent videos and computer games, exclusion, easy access to alcohol and drugs, political correctness, peer pressure to join gangs, a soft criminal justice system, lack of role models, gangster rap music, yaddah, yaddah, yaddah.

What would the Blessed Perry say? Perhaps that we should not get bogged down in the details but try to find a basic model of humanity. So what if individuals differ? If you look at the liquid flow on the bubble plates of a distillation column you will never see exactly the same pattern twice but it does not mean that mathematically you cannot arrive at a reliable prediction of column performance. Unflattering though it may be to our egos, we are one of 60 million and we are all statistics.

The Blessed Perry would have started by looking for the major influence on human behaviour. Other humans. That influence takes many forms. Qualitatively there is little difference, we do what we do to fit in with other humans, because we see other humans do it or because they tell us it is what we should do. Only quantitatively is there is a difference, who influences us and what degree of influence does each have? In strong families or traditional societies we may look to our parents or authority figures like priests. In broken families or fragmented societies perhaps the video game or rap song or gang looms larger. Whatever the circumstances of our own lives, peer pressure can never be discounted.

Perhaps the blessed Perry would have said that many of the above are right, the error too many make is in concentrating on the one cause and discounting the others, failing to see that essentially they are all one and the same. To put it at its simplest the aim must be to restore and reinforce all sound influences and remove or diminish the power of all the bad influences. It may be very sound to address issues of bad parenting or absent fathers for example but we can scarcely solve those problems quickly so we also need to introduce other adult input and address the issues of violent video games or rap music because those may be the major influences for those with bad parents or no fathers. We cannot absolve liberalism or political correctness because those have played a part in removing the teaching of responsible attitudes, or welfare or a soft justice system because those have played a part in removing the enforcement of them.

The Blessed Perry would have suggested we should act on many of the suggested causes because they are all aspects of the same cause.

Tomorrow the world

We have had a revelation and are determined to spread the teachings of the Blessed Perry to the world.

The religious should savour their superstitions while they can because very soon the army of the Blessed Perry will begin its crusade against the unbelievers. Burning at stakes, beheading and stoning to death are old hat and very much associated with the nonsense of "the book", so look forward to rational punishments befitting the cause of rational technology. Transgress our laws and you will find yourself ground up in vertical spindle mills and sprayed into cement kilns in order to save 15Kcal/kg cement/kg heretic, inserted into fractionating columns to raise the BP ratio by up to 5.31'C/kg blasphemer and enhance the separation of low molecular weight compounds or used as catalyst in the production of 2 3 Dimethyl Benzoate at a total cost saving of up to 25 cents/tonne.

We have been investigating the sacred life of the Blessed Perry and find that he had a son Robert H Perry who followed in his footsteps and edited the Chemical Engineering Handbook from 1963. Indeed, it is vouchsafed to us that there is a trinity of Perrys as we see here in the title of the holy text "Methanol: Bridge to a Renewable Energy Future (Hardcover) by John H. Perry (Author), Christiana P. Perry (Author)".

We have been able to find very little else out about the Blessed Perry, however that is not a problem as, like Jews, Christians and Muslims, we will simply make the rest up and pretend that some pile of old guff written umpteen years afterwards to aid some power struggle is the authentic work of contemporaneous acolytes and written with his authority. We will also be claiming that we are guided by John H from beyond the grave and that the teachings we pass on to you must be true revelations because we are infallible.

Slaughter in accord with the teachings of the Blessed Perry

Being a rabid humanity hater and unbalanced fan of NICE little animals (except cats) which have cute little noses and paws and things we thoroughly disapprove of the exemptions made for Jews and Muslims with regard to ritual slaughter, so yesterday we had a look at what the MCB says on this issue. It is a very large PowerPoint thing that our non-existent readers will not bother to download anyway, but the gist of it is that halal methods are actually more humane, with claims that a very sharp knife produces little pain and that the animal "goes out on a high" while stun methods have drawbacks in practice.

Not being an expert on animal slaughtering we cannot say they are wrong, simply because something is believed for a religous reason does not mean it is factually incorrect. However, as we have said before, a belief that accords with reality is not necessarily a rational belief. One is right to be suspicious of such claims because the belief has come first and the arguments have been mustered to support it. This is not the way round it should be and the Blessed Perry would never have done it like that. Maybe it is rather more convincing that the government scientists who would have no obvious bias have come to a different conclusion. Perhaps we should treat Islamic and Jewish claims on this issue with the same scepticism that we would treat the claims of a scientist who had an unbalanced adherence to his pet theory long before he produced the "proof".

We should look at the claims of humane ritual slaughter as they should be looked at, impartially, and if they prove to be totally false, we should remove this exemption. There should be no problems in a society based on individual freedom with allowing those religious practices that have no great impact on others but animal welfare is not purely a matter of individual freedom. On major issues like animal welfare, infant circumcision and the freedom of a woman to choose her own partner, UK society has moved towards a civilised position. It is for migrants who voluntarily come to our society to adapt to it, it should not adapt to them.

On exclusion of Muslims

Those with Muslim names are 50 per cent less likely to get interviews.

The Blessed Perry refers us to the chapters on control theory in the sacred text "Chemical Engineers' Handbook 1950 edition" and tells us that these things are about negative feedback. Poor perceptions of Muslims make people less willing to employ them. This will create resentment and some of those who were not a problem may turn to crime or fundamentalism in the absence of any other direction in their lives. This makes perception of them even more negative and makes the employment problem worse and this etc etc. Mortals of lesser faiths may choose to call it a vicious circle.

The Blessed Perry would inform us that we need to reduce this negative feedback mechanism by addressing all the loops in it and this is where both rightist and leftist approaches go so wrong. The former favour measures that only address the majority concerns and ignore valid concerns of the minority while the latter do the opposite. Either approach will never work on its own.

We must halt immigration of those who are not prepared to fit in to our society, stop making exceptions for minorities and talking to or consulting Islamist groups, exclude foreign extremists, apply laws in an even handed way that recognises that racism can exist on either side and that some will exploit victim status and stop making it easy, with free translation and other services, for minorities to remain entirely outside of British society.

Equally, we need to halt the disastrous aspects of our foreign policy that affect Muslim countries abroad, to support the REAL moderates in their attempts to reform the creed, to improve employment prospects of British citizens by recognising that not every practicing Muslim wants special treatment, to see that not everyone with a Muslim name supports Shariah law or is unBritish in outlook, and to integrate them into other aspects of British life.