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Greener
Which bastard is greener, Drivelling or Brownstuff?

We know what that is
An expensive plastic arse

Bah
The drivelling blithering phony Tory leader

Selective hypochondria
Those about to die

Channel 4 again
A perfect role for Prince Charles

Gangsters and government
The perils of giving immunity

What green vote?
Some might vote for sensible measures - but this nonsense?

VIZ beetle
For fellow insect obsessed loonies only

How to appear popular when everyone loaths you
More tips for us social misfits

Channel 4's global warming program, worrying revelations and some hot air
Politically worrying, scientifically empty

"Racism" in the news.
Patrick Mercer and Professor Coleman

Plan A
Sensible comment from a politician? Ah no it's gone! Shoot'em.

Food and abuse
The benefits of being sneered at

Bits
When caught claim anti semitism. Lords vote

Back to drivelling, we see
More rubbish from Camoron, education this time

Counting the weeks
A jail sentence drawing to a close

Good lord
The only sense you get from politicians is when they say other politicians are crap

0800 789 321
xoggoth rings the anti-terrorist hotline

Shoplifters
Persistent offenders are not minor offenders

How terrible to condemn people just because of their colour
Whatever the problem it must be whitey's fault

Brings it back
I have no memory of that

Sing a little song, do a little dance
Honouring animals before slaughter

Character forming
In praise of violence to children

What is not recorded can never have happened
Mass disappearances

News in brief
Odd bits and the xoggoth social model

Utterly deserved
Cynical exercise to appear to consult the people rebounds

Cruelty to NICE little cyber creatures
Carphone Warehouse's beastliness to little cartoon phones

Hear hear
Michael Portillo copies xoggoth on religion

Cold buffet
DIY blog thread

The doormat nation
The UK prostrates itself again, to Germany this time

Far way places with strange sounding names
And near away places with boring names

Coincidence
The dangers of the wrong allies

The only way we will ever get real democracy is by immediately hanging...
More espousals of violent anarchy

Great news
The real reason for troop withdrawals

Blogging makes you stupid
A report on email addiction

Substitute fathers
TV sets make good dads

Cruel comments on wind turbines
Delightful little creatures

Let's play make believe
xoggoth's e-petition

A statement of the bleeding obvious
Absolute proof that all political leaders are dictators

The role of religion revisited
More evidence that religion does not improve society one iota

"Channel 4 being dangerously radicalised" warns Imam
The threat to our society from Channel 4

Bad enough the state always interfering in our lives but must it interfere in our deaths too?
Right to die - state your damn nose out!

Yes but
Why should any non contributing migrants get benefits?

Proper depiction
"The Queen" and other horror films based on real characters

Revelations about a politician's past
Camoron's spliff and others (all true)

Cheek
Public funding of political parties. Yeh, here's my 2p!

Fossilised Britain
Welfare locks in dependency and redundancy

The iron web
Government regulation and interference

The political party we really want
Mental illness and politicians

H5N1
Aren't viruses pretty? I want one.

Tax
Abolish tax and central government

I want it back
Who took my James Bond Kimono?

Do you want a bag for that?
Novel uses for the deceased

Get caught out over and over again and sooner or later you will be rumbled
More Muslim protestations

Equal opportunities in crime
More white gunmen, more black paedophiles

So who gives a damn?
Detention orders - just get shot of them

Do the Yanks even care if they have any friends?
More public relations ineptitude from our great allies


Page 15

The ramblings of an old git

Bloggoth Mission Statement:

          We aim to never raise our sights above the gutter and preferably to stay much lower

Greener

Survey in DT that puts Tories well ahead. Not that we like the Tories under The Drivelling Blithering (phony Tory leader) Camoron much, but the amusing bit is that, when people are reminded that Gordon Lying c*nt Brownstuff will probably be leader of Labour, the Labour vote drops another 3 points. Snuk, snuk.

Much debate at moment about which of the two is greener. How can we be sure who will prove the greenest?

I know!

Bang! bang!

Heeeh! heeeh!

3 months later

Hmmm! Not sure. Perhaps we should give 'em another couple of months

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Grunty moany bits

The voco clock is an alarm clock that wakes you with a Jeeves like voice. Hmm. I would rather have a vocal alarm clock that shouts "Oh F*! F*! F*!, Bastard F* W*ng Sh* F* job, why don't they F* all DIE and F*ing well leave me alone? BASTARDS!" when it goes off.

It would save me the trouble.


Today at STINKING work we have been mostly listening to Mozart's Requiem. Followed by Brahm's Requiem. Well worth somebody else being dead for.

Yesterday we were listening to some of our old tapes. Aha Woodstock! Whatever happened to all that tune in, drop out stuff? What is the point really? Ah look, little smiling children, how sweet! Pity about the other few billion and hardly any of them are Mozart or Brahms. They aren't even Joe Cocker. If diamonds littered the streets would we ever bother to stop and pick one up and remark how it sparkled?

I recall being rather contemptuous of dropouts myself at the time. What a fool I was. People who drop out are only a problem because they leech on the wealth provided by those who don't. The problem is clearly those who don't.

We should ALL tune in, drop out, dope up and sit in corners with huge beatific grins on our faces until we fade out and leave the world to NICE LITTLE things like rabbits and gorillas and wasps.

PS Yeh! we are feeling thoroughly ratty today!

Message to NICE little animals

Look here, NICE little animals, I know that most of you read this blog (when I was tidying up the garden and shifting some old bits of fence last w/e I noticed several tiny internet cafes crowded with woodlice and millipedes) but please note it is not wise to keep running in front of xoggoth's van just because you know he would do everything possible to not hit you.

I nearly wrote my van off this week trying to avoid another stupid lady pheasant, you know who you are, running out in front of me. Next time, like that young deer last year, you may not be so lucky. I am still trying to recover the £60 cost of a new headlight and number plate from its insurers.

Doh

If my millions of loyal readers are feeling a bit let down this weekend at lack of bloggoth, blame stinking Brownstuff as we have had to spend hours doing accounts and corporation tax. It would be a bloody sight easier without the Brown hokey cokey, CT down then back up, computer FYA down then up. Soon I have the hastle of selling the Van to myself due to a ridiculous benefit figure that exceeds last year's total expenditure including legitimate business travel AND the purchase cost of the Van!! What F* world does this ignorant idiot live in? He never leaves the F* tax system alone from one year to the next and smothers us in absurd over complicated legislation and tons of paperwork while everything we pay goes up and up and we get less and less for it.

Some day soon, when our debt-supported, parasite-ridden, overtaxed, overregulated and unproductive economy collapses, people will see this socialist ignoramus for what he is.

We know what that is

Couple of pictures from the DT today, paper version only unfortunately.

It appears a Swiss art collector has won £350,000 damages in the high court after a judge decided that a valuable art work was accidentally thrown in the skip.

Come on! That is not a work of art, that is clearly a plastic ARSE, I bet you could get something similar at any sex shop (just a rough geuss you understand, as we at bloggoth know nothing of these things) for £29.95.



Speaking of plastic arses, there is also more news about Milliband's continual insistence that he will not stand for PM (but).

Good grief! what is that? is it human or some sort of ape?


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James Bond's old gardening trousers

One thing I could never understand about James Bond and that was the smart suit. Not that I am totally opposed to smart suits, if one is to hang around in posh hotels, expensive clubs and plush casinos, a smart suit is the right attire.

But you have to admit that for being coshed by villains, knocked around by steel toothed or metal handed villains or being kicked by ageing Russian ladies with poisoned knives in their shoes it really sucks. What a mess that would make of one's expensive suit! A pair of cheap overalls from Halfords would make a lot more sense!

If I was going to be tied to a table with a laser slowly cutting upwards towards my rather modest and un James Bond-like naughty bits, I would INSIST on being allowed to change into my old gardening trousers first.

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Bah

See in the DT that the Drivelling Blithering (phony Tory leader) Camoron is not just proposing higher tax on airline flights (to be doled out in yet another redistribution of wealth to "families") but that frequent flyers will pay more. How will that work then? Are airlines going to report our names and flight details to the government? Will we be issued with a log book and have to get it stamped when we fly? Will we all be expected to fill in tax returns declaring our flights? Has anyone in the Tory party even thought about it?

The stream of stupidity that flows continually from this leader of what used to be the Conservative party is simply astonishing. The lying c*nt Brownstuff is making far sense on this topic at least and is seriously looking like a much better option as PM. If there is nothing better to vote for, a used bedpan full of headlice say, I might end up voting for GB.

Disney prince john Pictures, Images and Photos

(The Drivelling Blithering)
The snivellin' grovellin'
Measly weasely
Blabberin' jabberin'
Gibberin' jabberin'
Blunderin' plunderin'
Wheelin' dealin'
Camoron, that phony Tory leader
Yeah!



With acknowledgement to Disney

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Selective hypochondria

We at bloggoth do not suffer from hypochondria much. While a lump is still capable of being removed with the garden shears we see no need to go to a doctor and do not make a fuss about aches and pains. In any case, as we are always hopefully suggesting to the missus, they are nothing that a bit of bum sex would not cure.

However, in the DT today, the not very surprising news that sedentary workers suffer from DVT. For some reason there is something about the whole idea of DVT that worries us. Once there is any item in the news about DVT, for months afterwards we cannot sit down without imagining huge clots surging around our mature yet magnificent body, clogging things up and eventually exploding out of our ears. We are sitting here, with legs dancing around like someone from "River Dance - The Seated Version", just hoping that we can survive until this immensely tedious contract finishes in three weeks.

I want to be free of this desk job so I can be carefree again wandering the Sussex countryside waving a brussel sprout (Clarence) on a stick. Brussel sprouts never get DVT. In the meantime, will everyone please stop mentioning it?

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Channel 4 again

On crappy Prince Charles. No arguments from bloggoth this time. Get rid of the stupid, irrational, money wasting twat.

There must be a more suitable job for him. I know a company who could use his obvious qualities.




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Gangsters and government

We see President Jacques Chirac has announced he will not run for a third term. It appears that some are already calling for his prosecution over alleged corruption now that his presidential immunity will no longer apply.

We should hope so too. We would like to see all presidents and prime ministers prosecuted automatically on leaving office for having been presidents or prime ministers (then convicted and hung) because they are all BASTARDS. We appreciate that not everyone has xoggoth's intelligent anarchist leanings and rabid loathing of all forms of authority, however, most right minded people should certainly be opposed to the principle of people gaining immunity from prosecution simply because they become state leaders. First Bellusconi, now Chirac. This is corruption in its purest form.

More worryingly, it is quite obvious that this will encourage every sort of criminal to try and be president/PM in order to escape justice for past crimes. We must oppose this trend spreading to the UK or in no time at all every candidate for parliament is going to be an unconvicted shoplifter, rapist, embezzler, murderer, burglar etc. and our great country will be led by Franky The Axe with Johny "Fingers" Murphy as chancellor.

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What green vote?

There is supposedly competition for the "green vote" between Lying Brownstuff and The Drivelling Blithering Cameron*.

Is there a green vote? Obviously those opposed to the idea of man made global warming are not going to be seduced by green measures but more importantly, those of us who do think there is something in the idea are not going to be either. Yes, we might support intelligent policies, but not the sort of shite that is mostly being proposed.

All we are mostly getting are proposals for more taxes without any committment to spend them on anything that might help the environment like a decent public transport system. Worse, all many proposals will do in the absence of similar measures worldwide is to drive our service and industries abroad where they are less fussy. Tax on aircraft fuel? What is to stop planes refuelling abroad? One assumes foreign carriers do anyway, so what will this do except make our own less competitive and give their business away? We have already seen the destruction of Britain's road haulage industry because of high fuel taxes. The partys' determination to ignore the biggest REAL concern of the British public, excessive immigration, will undo any possible good from their daft policies anyway, in the unlikely possibility there is any. What is the point of reducing fuel consumption by 5% per head if you add 5% to the population?

The only remotely intelligent idea has come from the EU (and now borrowed by the thieving Brownstuff). Phasing out normal lightbulbs could actually save a lot of energy with very little pain. As for British political thinking, especially from The Drivelling Blithering Cameron*, it is so consistently idiotic, one has to wonder if it is secretly some sort of huge joke, could we actually all unwittingly be starring in a sort of sitcom arranged by super intelligent aliens who sit nightly laughing their heads off over it?

*We have decided to add drivelling in front of blithering. Every time he says something totally sound bitey and meaningless and stupid and PC and drivelling we will add another adjective. We fully expect this blog to need another 100Mb of disc space before the summer. Anyway we like drivelling blithering, it sounds like that song from Walt Disney's Robin Hood.

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VIZ beetle

I promised that as soon as there were lots of NICE little creatures around I would be boring everyone silly with pictures taken using my USB microscope. Today was really warm and there are NICE little things everywhere, even a wasp, unfortunately, the missus would not let me have any jam.

Here is a NICE little thing that was inside my copy of VIZ. I am not sure if that is its normal habitat or whether it has migrated due to global warming, from Private Eye perhaps.

Sorry it is a bit fuzzy but I had a job capturing the image as it kept wandering about and would not keep still even when I asked it nicely. Some bastards would have solved that problem with a KILLING BOTTLE with chloroform on a bit of cotton wool at the bottom. BASTARDS!!!! They deserve to be disembowelled. That sort of treatment should be reserved for Labour voters.

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How to appear popular when everyone loaths you

This is not one of those off the shelf blog things that the rest of you poofy wimps use, I knit it myself from genuine angora HTML4 wool and sometimes I forget to change the name in the Haloscan thing after cut 'n paste so comments appear under the wrong articles. Why didn't I think of it before? If I use the same name for every item then every time someone adds a comment it will appear as if I have a comment under all the others. In no time, well, about a year, I will have lots of comments on all my items. Well, ten or so anyway.

We at bloggoth like to appear popular without the hideous and boring duty of actually interacting with anyone. For like-minded individuals who are generally loathed by all, here are a couple more great tips:

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PS

You can also collect dead tramps and bagladies (nobody will miss them) and arrange them in a tasteful circle around the fireside where they will sit silently in awe of your wit and charm and unlike real friends they do not consume your Smirnoff and Bells and serve up Tescos when they return your hospitality.

Channel 4's global warming program, worrying revelations and some hot air

The most worrying thing about the Channel 4 program The Great Global Warming Swindle were the revelations about the extent to which the issue has been hijacked by those with a vested interest.

It is not so much the activists that should concern us, I think their influence on many issues is often overrated, but the huge numbers who are making a damn good living out of pushing the agenda. Once big money is involved honesty frequently goes out of the window. If reports have been edited to remove dissenting or cautionary notes, if names of reputable scientists who do not agree with the conclusions have been left on the lists of contributors creating the impression that they are backers, if many of the names are not true experts but reviewers or journalists, then how can we be sure that an apparently authoritative report is anything of the kind?

I suppose we cannot expect too much from a popularist program, and the actual scientific arguments against global warming were mostly thin or misleading. For example:

  1. It was stated that mankind's CO2 emissions are minor compared to that put out by animals. Quite true, but animals' emissions are part of a natural balance with the absorbtion of CO2 by plants and do not therefore increase CO2 levels. Over and above his natural emissions, man is re-releasing CO2 that has been locked in the earth for millions of years.

  2. It was shown fairly conclusively that in the past CO2 fluctuations have followed, not lead temperature fluctuations due to the way that slow heating oceans release CO2 when temperature rises. In the absence of any indications of what the absolute temperatures were or their distribution this is meaningless. If we know that the peaks in the right areas were greater than those expected by the saner GW theorists and a sustained period of high temperature unrelated to solar activity did not occur that would be pretty convincing refutation. If the peaks were not that high or did not occur in the right area (to release methane from tundra etc.) then all they prove is Henry's law.

  3. It was also shown, pretty convincingly, that the major driver of temperature cycles is solar activity. Unfortunately, showing that X causes Z does not prove that Y doesn't. Neither does proving that X is the more important factor show that the lesser contribution of Y is insignificent. We had one scientist rolling his eyes in scorn at the idea that anything man can do has any significance when compared to the effect of that "big bright ball in the sky" Sure, without it we would be at absolute zero, but let's not forget that life would be pretty difficult without the "greenhouse effect" of our atmosphere which makes the planet some 55'C hotter than it would otherwise be. All most (saner anyway) proponents of man-made GW are talking about is a 2-3'C rise, i.e. a 5% change in that effect.

  4. We had the argument that warming was no big deal anyway since during the middle ages, grapes grew in Northern England and prosperity boomed. But what is to stop a similar natural sun cycle happening again? What if you take grape growing Yorkshire and add another couple of degrees on top of that? Can we be sure it would so beneficial? Let us also be aware that the world is now a very different place and we are at least SUPPOSED to have more global concerns. What happened to Australian Aborigines or natives of Central Africa during that hot period? They might have died in droves, we really have no idea. For the same reason it is idiotic to point out that temperatures were much higher in the Holocene as we really have no idea what problems animals had in surviving; we are not talking about man becoming extinct, only about the exacerbation of the problems of an overcrowded world like reduced rainfall and crop failures. Let us not forget that in the third world a change in climate will have greater impact than the same change a few hundred years ago when tribes could migrate as animals do. With much greater populations and national borders that option is now closed for the majority.

There were two convincing points:

  1. The greater amounts of CO2 emitted by volcanos. It seems to me that volcanos, like man, are releasing CO2 that must have been locked up for millions of years. If they are not a problem, why are man's emissions?

  2. The fact that temperature rises in the atmosphere were not in upper layers consistent with the idea that it was increased greenhouse effect causing them. In fact the temperature in these layers was said to have fallen slightly.

Certainly the revelations that "scientific" reports are not the impartial documents they should be has made me much more sceptical. On the other hand the anti-brigade, on this evidence, seem equally capable of half truths and evasions. There is only one thing for it, when I have time I will have to devote the huge xoggoth brain to examining the scientific basis for the theories. Watch out for the definitive report here that will end all argument.

PS. If I decide for man-made GW can I get a grant? £40k a year will do fine.

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PS2

Not that we at bloggoth care about effects of GW on grotty people, we would be far more concerned if the number of species of moths declined in Siberia. It is reassuring that despite reduced sea ice NICE LITTLE POLAR BEARS are doing well. We would like a nice little Polar Bear, we would hug it and squeeze it and pet it and cuddle it and feed it wine gums. We want a Mountain Gorilla too. And a Minke Whale.

"Racism" in the news.

I would be inclined to agree with Wolfie that Patrick Mercer's comments were not racist but rather disagree we need more like him. Maybe these things needed saying, but my goodness, didn't some of it come out wrong?

You could say, in response to complaints of racism in the army, that it is a rough place and personal abuse is commonplace, minorities are not singled out. Mention "black bastard" and you can be sure that is the only phrase that will make it into many articles.

The comment on lazy black men using racism as an excuse is probably true. It is also probably true that lazy white men would use a similar excuse if they had one, so that's hardly racist is it? Ah yes! but if one truth is explicitly stated and the other left unsaid, what meaning would it be expected to convey? Let's get a grip on the basic nuances of the English language here! Something that needed to be said but it could have been said better.

We bloggers can say what we like within the limits of the law but we expect better from paid politicians. It is nothing to do with being politically correct or not stating your viewpoint but with being effective. Careful choice of words to put a viewpoint across effectively is, or should be, a politician's stock in trade. Taken as a whole, the comments convey no impression of racism, but politicians should surely be aware of the way that things are reported out of context. Put differently, these comments could have been useful, now they have resurrected the impression that the Tory party is racist.

This chap deserves the sack, not for being racist but for being an idiot.


The other so called racist is an entirely different matter and this man deserves our support.

If you visit Migration watch you will find no suggestion whatever of a racist agenda, nowhere does it say we should exclude on grounds of colour or origin, the emphasis is entirely on the impact of the current enormous and unprecedented rate of unskilled migration to the UK. It goes out of its way in many places on the website to state that the issue is not about existing immigrant communities, that there is no problem with moderate numbers of healthy skilled people or with temporary workers.

It is perfectly legitimate to question the supposed "benefits" of this influx and to query what effect it is having on our own society but the lunatic proponents of the open door policy hate it when their idiotic mathematically absurd arguments are questioned and have to resort to inventing accusations of racism where none can be found and attempt to hound their opponents out of a job.


PS: The The Independent front page today covers these two cases, plus that of the policeman who hit a young black woman while arresting her under the headline "I'm not racist but..." Item here. Until there is some enquiry, people commenting on the last case at all are only showing their partiality in my view and should be ignored. I wouldn't click on that link if I were you, the last time I read The Independent it took me three days to come out of a coma.

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Plan A

Yaaay! But where's the Catch, there has to be one somewhere... Chertiozhnik | Homepage | 03.08.07 - 12:55 pm

So said one of my three occasional commenters. (You get quality not quantity on bloggoth!) Wise man. Ok, xoggoth was extremely naive! I admit it.

According to comments of many MPs reported in the DT, the vote for an elected lords was just a brilliant tactic by those opposing a significant elected element to cause a constitutional problem for the government, thus ensuring there would be no reform for many years. Whenever hope in our elected leaders and representatives rises briefly it is soon dashed by more revelations of their bad faith, dishonesty and self seeeking arrogant behaviour. I will not make that mistake again, not for a while anyway.

The only way we will get anything approaching a democracy is not to have central leaders or representatives at all. Time to revert to plan A. Shoot them, gas them, poison them, obliterate them with high explosives, bury them in a huge pit surrounded by a pentagram, piss in it and cover it in quicklime.

It is no more likely to happen than real democracy in the UK but at least it is much more fun to think about.

PS: I am sorry I am not able to put any links to many of my posts but it is difficult to link to the DT with a GRPS modem. It chunters away for ever and ever, consuming my money and making my meaness glands go ballistic! We at bloggoth would never make up news so take it on trust!

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Food and abuse

Oh no! How can one keep up with the constantly changing ideas about what is healthy and what isn't? For example, is it just me who cannot reconcile the repeated statements that cutting down vastly on own food intake increases life span with the hysteria over size zero models?

Now we find in the DT that organic food, which we were all encouraged to believe was so nice and healthy due to lack of all those pesticides etc, adds to allergies. I do not think I believe any of it. I have a better theory as to why we have so many problems with drunkeness, mental illness, obesity, allergies etc. Due to political correctness we no longer have the corrective effect of the SCORN of others.

Allergies, smallergies! When I were a lad up at t'mill, down t'pit, anyone saying they had an allergy would have been thoroughly SNEERED at as a great nancy boy wooftah! In the good old days, anyone CLAIMING to be mentally ill would have been put in a big brick room where people would laugh at them and throw mouldy cabbages. It is a little known fact that Bedlam actually had almost a 98% success rate at curing those who were sent there, much better than modern drugs and counselling. This comes from some well authenticated historical research by a history professor with impeccable credentials.

A dramatic illustration of the beneficial effects of sustained scorn on human beings. At left an 85 year old women. At right the same women showing the dramatic transformation following three months of sustained verbal abuse, being continually called a wrinkly old cow, a hideous old bag, a string bag full of brussel sprouts etc. Not only does she look 60 years younger but she is also in colour.


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Bits

Here we go again. We had the same with Mandelson, now Levy. Their cronies, strongly briefed by the aforesaid I suspect, start whining about anti-semitism. If Levy's backers have any evidence let's hear it, but as far as I can see there is no obvious difference between the treatment of those two in the news and that of other unpopular ministers, David Blunckett or Stephen Byers for example. Pathetic!


MP's have voted for a 100% elected upper chamber. Yeeeh!!!!! Not law yet, but Britain just took a very small step towards being a true democracy. There's a kick in the teeth for the dictator {He Who etc.} who would have preferred a 50% elected house, i.e. 50% his cronies (Probably Labour party donors). Ah yes, an elected chamber will impede necessary law and damage Britain. Hell yes! wouldn't do to become a poor country like the US or Switzerland would it? Don't these people just hate democracy???

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Back to drivelling, we see

As soon as we manage to find just one sensible thing that The Blithering Cameron has said, the border police force idea we mentioned a short while back, along he comes with more drivelling nonsense. Actually, this particular bit of drivel reminds us further that many blithering ideas of this current government had their origins in Tory policies and the curious idea that all you have to do is call something private instead of public and it immediately becomes efficient.

The latest Drivelling Camoron idea is that headteachers should retain responsibility for pupils they expel and should be given some of the budget that currently goes to "Pupil Referral Units". This money can be spent by the headteacher to buy appropriate care from the "private, voluntary or charitable sector" Right, so instead of giving the money to dedicated units with a long standing experience in dealing with such children, making any reforms or funding changes as necessary, you have heads with no real experience in such matters doling out taxpayers' cash to a mixture of commercial agencies with no real experience who will be looking for a profit and bunches of amateurs.

Private enterprise works well where there is true competition which forces companies to deliver customer satisfaction not significantly worse than that of their competitors. When there is no true competition, when the private sector supplies the public sector, we see failures. The public sector managers supposed to set the requirements, ensure value and monitor performance fail to do so because of inexperience, incompetence or the indifference that grips those who are not rewarded by performance and are only spending other people's money. The private firms are quick to take advantage.

We see it constantly in big government projects which time and time again are total failures or overbudget. I have seen it happen when working in defence, the MOD was a milch-cow. I have seen it in a local school when a company paid huge sums to oversee substantial rebuilding work totally failed to ensure that work was to the stated standard or even in accord with the plans! It was only the bloody mindedness of the headteacher that caused a tolerable final outcome.

Ah well, lets see, how long has the Blithering Cameron led the Tories? Maybe we will see something sensible in another two years.

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Counting the weeks

Hooray! Three and a half weeks until I stop this utterly boring contract. I was asked if I would like to sign up for another project at the same place. Clearly I have not been as effective as usual in portraying myelf as an unhygeinic antisocial deranged closet serial killer.

Is it like this one, crap and utterly boring? I asked. Indeed yes, it will be infinitely tedious, was the reply. I could practically see the chap approaching climax inside his grubby white lab coat (marked Dave, all white coats issued here have a name tag of Dave, which is odd as everyone except me is called Andy) with the delerious ectasy of the mind boggling uninterestingness of it. No ta, I say, I would sooner have my brain scooped out with a rusty toilet roll holder.

Aircraft work utterly sucks. Aircraft are the most utterly dull thing ever invented in the history of the world, if somebody had written a book called "The Dull History of the world" about all the dullest things that neither Churchill nor anyone else thought worth mentioning, they would leave out aircraft as being too dull and devote the chapter to tea strainers made in Belgium instead.

Oddly, people here love the damn things, they rush to the window to see if a military sort goes overhead, they have aircraft screen savers, they have bigger pictures of aircraft on their desks than they do of their families, which is not all bad since the families of aircraft engineers all suffer from hideous facial and bodily deformities due to millenia of inherited genetic defects.

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Good lord

You see, cynics! Nothing is impossible. even the most awful people occasionally talk sense.

on the BBC program on the {He who etc.} years, when asked about what he thought about President Bush, John Prescott said "Not a great deal"

When asked if he agreed that {He Who etc.} had supported "the most ignorant, reactionary, dangerous most neo-conservative president in 50 years" the EU parasite Neil Kinnock said "That is a fairly accurate description of George Bush and most of the people of his administration"

On the same program we also heard again how it was probably the awful Brownstuff who saved us from being dragged into the Euro. Brown stuff is also reported to have said to {He Who etc.} "There is nothing you can say to me again that I will ever believe" We can all relate to that GB!

But let us not be too nasty to {He who etc.}. Northern Ireland is one bit of legacy he can truly be proud of.

Maybe what all these things hint at is that you can rarely take a large group of people, even if they are a Labour government, and not find a fairly sensible consensus. Maybe what they suggest is that we have a political system in which far too much power is invested in too few.

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0800 789 321

0-8-0-0 7-8-9 3-2-1
Ring ring.
Hello? Is that the anti-terrorist hotline? I want to report a suspicious character.
Yes, Sir. What is it about this individual that concerns you?
Well, this is close to a popular gathering and eating area and I have seen him on a number of occasions just hanging around behind the trees watching the diners intensely.
I see, anything else?
Well, a couple of times I have walked that way and as soon as he has seen that I have seen him he has run off.
That does sound suspicious behaviour. Have you seen this chap before? Do you have any idea where he might live?
Well I am not sure but he could be with the people that have moved in up the road. Foreign I think. Never saw him around before that anyway. Ever since he has been hanging around just watching.
I think this sounds like something we should consider looking into. Can you give me a description of the chap?
Well, he's skinny and black.
Black, skinny, ok, what is his approximate height?
Erm, not sure, about 18" I suppose.
18"??
Yeh, maybe less, long stringy tail, got a red collar on.
What? What are we talking about?
Well, this damn black cat that keeps hanging round my bird table, I am sure it intends to pounce on one of my NICE little pidgeons.
Now look here! you do realise it is a serious offence to deliberately waste police time? I suggest you put the phone down RIGHT NOW sir, or I shall be obliged to report you!

0-8-0-0 7-8-9 3-2-1
Ring ring.
Hello? Is that the anti-terrorist hotline? I want to report a suspicious character.
Yes, Sir, and what is it about him or her that concerns you?
Well, he or she, I have not looked that closely, has built this bloody great web across my greenhouse door....

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Shoplifters

Not online (or I can't access it due to my crap GPRS modem) but there is unbelievable news in the DT that repeat shoplifters who have taken goods worth less than £200 are being let off with a caution time and time again. Amazingly, the Home Office is considering just making them say sorry and paying an £80 on the spot fine.

Hmmmm! Chance of getting away with £200 worth of goods each time if you don't get caught, worst case of £80 fine if you do. Really sounds like deterrence that! Now, it seems perfectly reasonable to me that a shoplifter might get a caution and/or a small fine on the first offence and possibly a second at a pinch depending on age and circumstances but to go on treating them in that manner indefinitely is insane, it turns shoplifting from an offence into a business with quantifiable risks like any other. Maybe I might get into that myself, beats staring at a PC screen all day, no tax on the profits either!

Ah yes! it's to keep jails for "serious" offenders! But there are two issues here:

  1. Somebody who goes round regularly nicking the odd hundred quid's worth of goods here and there may well be getting away with more in a year than the chap who breaks into a Bond Street jewellers, he IS a serious offender. It's quite absurd to judge each offence in isolation.

  2. Simply saying the cost of the offences to society is less than the cost of keeping someone in prison is ignoring one very important fact, it is not society as a whole that picks up the bill for petty crime but individuals.What does it mean financially to the small shopkeeper with very modest margins? It is not just the direct loss, but the insurance costs, the security equipment and the time he has to spend dealing with the matter. Perhaps more important, what about the wider implications on his health due to the stress of regular confrontations with probably abusive and potentially violent people? Are you seriously imagining that when confronted the average offender goes "ok, fair cop old chap" and hands it back?

We do need some soft options in the criminal justice system, with some people they work and can be a useful incentive to improve. We probably need more in the way of drug rehab clinics and help with employment to give offenders a choice. But you cannot make a judgement that there are too many people in prison by comparing the numbers with Spain or whatvever, you can only make that judgement by comparing with the number of people who SHOULD be in prison.

Those must include repeat offenders who will not reform no matter what help they are given. Like the rest of us they have a choice and in the end, if they get LIFE for shoplifting 50 quid's worth of goods, then so be it.

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Idiotic

As for contaminated petrol, you would have thought that drivers would have had more sense and not allowed their cars to go to London Sushi bars with exiled Russians.

How terrible to condemn people just because of their colour

I see the latest report from The Department Of Education And Skills "Getting it right", over the high level of exclusion of black pupils has come to the usual racist conclusion. It is all whitey's fault.

Now one would have to be an idiot to suggest that predudice does not exist and it may well be a factor but does it explain the quite disproportionate numbers of exclusions? I have looked for this report* to see if there was detailed analysis of a significant number of cases of exclusions of black and white pupils, comparing like with like, to establish statistically that there was discrimination. Unfortunately it appears to be an "internal report" not available on the net, so I may be doing it an injustice here, but going from the newspaper reports it seems to be, as usual, that it is principally the numbers of exclusions themselves that are assumed to prove the point.

The reason I am sceptical is that we have seen this sort of "analysis" so many times before, including very recently over the issue of black gun crime. Some would have us pretend that this is just a general problem in society or, if not that, to accept that it is entirely due to rejection by us racist whiteys. Unfortunately, exactly the same problems of violent urban gun crime, and of underacheivement at school and absentee fathers are present in Jamaican society. Some of the problems are equally present in Jamaican minorities in other parts of the world.

Every society has its problems. White British society has significant problems with paedophiles, drunkeness and mindless hooliganism, but we whites are fortunate in having no ready scapegoats, nobody else to blame and are obliged to deal with the reality ourselves in realistic ways. By world standards the UK is not a particularly racist society, and in any case, short of transforming human nature, it ain't gonna get any better because the bag of anti-discrimination laws is just about empty. The solution to most problems minorities face is in their own hands.

Peddling the victim mentality helps nobody, least of all the "victims"

*Note: Hey government! maybe we could find your dull reports quicker if you showed a little imagination and did not persist in calling every single one of them "Getting it right"

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Brings it back

We at bloggoth are quite good at remembering dry facts. We could probably get back into mathematical modelling of multi-component phase equilibria in an afternoon although we haven't done it for ten years and at a pinch could probably name about 10 operas by Wagner because we read a book about him fifteen years ago.

When it comes to our own life we are quite hopeless. More than 3 weeks ago? It is just a grey blur and quite unreal, like the plot of a novel described to us by somebody else. We think we have done a few interesting things in our life, lived in Australia, been to Borneo, hitchhiked round much of Europe, slept on the streets, flown in helicopters, had quite a few girlfriends and done various other things which we prefer not to mention. On the other hand maybe we have just stared at the TV for decades and watched somebody else do those things. It is really hard to tell.

The missus has a perfect memory. She will go, "Remember when we had that holiday in Oporto and we went to that little shop in the back street near the hotel and saw a painting just like that one and we nearly brought it?" And I will rack my brain. Some vague memory? Ah no! it's gone. Not only can I not remember the painting, I cannot remember the shop or anything at all about Portugal expect that the indicators on our hired mini did not work and we got a parking ticket.

This does not bode well for my old age. There will come a time, stuck in that really cheap home where my kids will undoubtably stick me to avoid too much impact on their inheritance when my memories will be all that I have left and I WON'T HAVE ANY!! We suppose we will have to end our days thinking fond thoughts of multi-component phase equilibria.

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The mindless celebrity gossip section

As my zero readers will have noticed, we at bloggoth are immensely intellectual, cultured and erudite and while we are very fond of Mrs xoggoth, it has to be admitted that we have distinctly married beneath us. That of course was inevitable, unfortunately there are no women with the intelligence of an Einsten, the looks of a Helen of Troy, the depth of a Daphne Du Maurier and a bottom bigger than the Great Wall of China. So naturally we settled for the most important quality. Ah!

Mrs xoggoth like these awful Come Dancing and similar crappy things that are on early Saturday evenings. Pah! such things are beneath us! Except, this Red Nose version is hosted (hostessed?) by the rather wierd but strangely attractive Claudia Winkelman. What a very strange dress! Hmm. xoggoth is infamous for wandering around accusing women at random, usually quite wrongly, about their condition. It is the main reason (apart from offering to inseminate their dog/cat/budgerigar/hamster for a mere fraction of the usual vet's fees) why we no longer get invited anywhere.

But is Claudia preggers again? Hey that's not fair!, we wanted to do that!

Sing a little song, do a little dance

We at bloggoth hate any sort of nastiness to NICE little creatures of any size and should be vegetarian but we lack sufficient principle to subsist off beans and lentils, even if farting constantly would seem to be splendid compensation. We find we can avoid thinking about origins of meat as long as it does not contain any reminders, we just hate food which has fur and beaks and claws and tentacles and things in it, it makes us all upset. One needs to be realistic, we have to eat. On the other hand, surely we should do more to encourage greater respect for animals and not simply treat them as disposable commodities.

After watching a bit of a rerun of "Last of the Mohicans" the other day, the bit when Hawkeye and Chingas., Chengas.., the Indian blokes kill a deer, we think we have the answer. Every time any cow, chicken, sheep, pig etc. is slaughtered, the slaughterhousemen should be legally obliged to do a little dance and give a short speech honouring its strength and courage and thanking it for giving us sustenance, finally promising that it will live in happiness running with its kind in the great prairie in the sky. For small fish or shrimps this might be a bit impractical, so one dance/speech per kilo would be adequate at the time, they could hold a proper ceremony at the end of each month honouring all the little fish/shrimps that were not honoured individually.

We hope readers will donate £10 to this latest Bloggoth campaign, usual address at xoggoth Towers. We have to say the response to our previous appeals has been a bit dissapointing. We can't remember what they were exactly but they are still open so please catch up, £100 should do nicely.

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Character forming

I daresay many, seeing that mother of the fifteen stone eight year old saying it isn't her fault because he refused to eat healthily, will be saying "good grief, what a pathetic parent".

We at bloggoth do not blame her at all. It is all the state's fault for removing the parent's right to use essential character-forming cruelty. When we brought our kids up, we found there was no behavioural defect that could not be eliminated by firm but loving corrective action such as beating them soundly with a red hot frying pan or chaining them up naked in the snow.

All of Britain's great men of history were raised on a diet of beatings and lockings in coal cellars by strict fathers and nannies before they went to Eton where they grew to manhood on a diet of beatings and enforced buggery. It gave them the strength of character they needed, not just to avoid obesity, but to go on to great things like stealing other people's countries and forcing them to eat opium.

Now, thanks to this government, we can't steal anybody's country on our own, we have to follow the US like dogs when they steal people's countries and live off the scraps they throw us.

Pah!

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What is not recorded can never have happened

From The Underground Times. London 23rd February 5450 AD

The authorities have warned against panic today after three hundred thousand citizens in the People's Collective Of Wapping disappeared. Yet again dissidents (who were promptly executed) have pointed the finger of blame at a glitch in the government computer which holds the detailed intimate records of all 1,780 million British citizens.

This is the fifth such mass disappearance in four years due to the TB effect, named after the namelessly evil prime minister who kicked off the recording trend. Dissident scientists (who were also promptly executed) have demonstrated that after more than three thousand years of having their every physical detail and behaviour pattern minutely recorded by government, UK citizens' existence has become inextricably linked to the existence of their records. When their records are lost or destroyed the people described cease to exist.

The government, forced to make a statement about the empty 50000 square foot building that once accomodated these 300,000 people in considerable luxury, had initially denied that it had ever been inhabited.

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News in brief

News in the DT today that Al-Quaida had planned to assassinate {He Whom It Would Be Justifiable To Stab Although I Am not Personally Calling For His Stabbing}. Although the threat was supposed to have been credible, clearly nothing actually happened.

If there was any doubt among some about the nature of this terrorist organisation, I hope this news dispels it.

INCOMPETENT BASTARDS! Can't they do anything properly?


Loathsome Livingstone has an idea to waste more money on something to mark the entrances to London. Supposedly people driving along the main arteries into London are not quite clear when London begins. From the South at least I have always found it totally apparent where London begins. Say no more.


Praise de lawd! At last Cameron says something sensible. In honour of the occasion I have dropped the blithering and put the e back. We never wanted Hague type rantings against migration, just quietly announced effective measures to protect us against the illegal, the useless and the hostile, not to mention arms and drug traffic. Hopefully Cameron's proposal for a decent border police force, paid for out of the cancellation of the lunatic ID card project, will be the first of a series of proposals in the next couple of years that might make the Tories north voting for. Given the lunacies he has uttered in the past we have no great confidence.


We do not know what to say about the row over the fact that fewer state school pupils are going to top universities; the reason being that both sides are giving different versions. To believe the universities it is due to the poor quality of the applicants. To believe the failed applicants it is due to snobbery against those who do not speak with the right accents. Because we at bloggoth are NEVER subject to predudice like lesser mortals we hold fire but it does seem to us that getting straight As at a crap school says a bit more about the applicant than the same As from an expensive crammer.

What? bloggoth siding with horrible common people from state schools against those from posh schools? Why not? Perhaps you misunderstand the bloggoth social model:



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Utterly deserved

I refer to the way the government's cynical exercise in pretending to consult the electorate via the E-petitions scheme has blown up in their faces. Faced with opposition, not just from the petitioners but from the public generally with only 9% backing the scheme, their only response is to ignore protests and press ahead anyway. It has brought home to the few who did not already realise it what utter contempt this corrupt government has for its citizens.

The public are not just being selfish and disregarding environmental concerns, it is simply that the great majority think that the measures would make very little difference for the simple reason that for a great many in the UK there are no viable alternatives. A journey I used to do from home to a place in Chatham took 55 minutes by car. Checking the timetables online, I see no way it could be done in much less than three hours by public transport and I doubt this is that unusual. Often the only way you can go 50 miles (as the crow flies) from one not terribly important place to another in the UK is to go into the nearest major city and out again.

I suspect that approval for the scheme would soar if the government announced that the cash would be ringfenced and spent on public transport or other measures to reduce the need for the car, but that is the other failure; nobody trusts this government not to simply waste the money as it wastes so much of what it takes from us already. Then there is the concern that the technology involved will mean even more intrusion into our lives, with the government tracking our every move. Many do not see why, if cost of motoring discourages road use, this cannot be done more easily and cheaply by fuel duties and road tolls.

In addition, some of the costs suggested are so horrendous that a great many people may not be able to afford to work at all. Not everyone can work anywhere due to their specific skills or because, due to age or other factors, there is a very limited choice of companies willing to employ them. Not everyone can move to be near work either, due to family members working elsewhere or the cost of housing. I would suggest that if there is a reduction in the journey miles as a result of charging, a significant proportion of it will be down to a dip in the economy due to rising unemployment. It is clear that the government have not properly looked at the issues or even tried to cost the effects.

I also suspect that another reason for the public resistance is that they know that while they have to reorganise their lives or pay through the nose, those in government, as usual, will be totally insulated from it by their tax free perks.

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Cruelty to NICE little cyber creatures

It is not good enough. Some stinking horrible people think it is ok, say, to exterminate NICE little ants just because they infest a kitchen and get into the Shredded Wheat. Horrible people should not just be glad to share what they have with NICE little creatures, they should be actively encouraging every sort of little creature to share their homes.

As if beastliness to NICE little insects was not bad enough, some companies are now shamelessly promoting cruelty to little animated creatures. That awful Carphone Warehouse ad for example with people deliberaly killing their old mobile phones by dropping them under mowers or tying them to the bath plug. Now Ford thinks we should be laughing at the plight of some poor little dumb cyber-dog when the moon falls on it just to promote their latest crappy car which looks like all their other crappy cars.

Please contribute to the xoggoth appeal for a halt to cruelty to little animated characters on TV. Send £10 to xoggoth at xoggoth Towers today. It will be the best £10 I, I mean you, have ever spent.

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Hear hear

Another great standby if one cannot be arsed to blog is to quote. Here is something from Michael Portillo in the Sunday Times. This is something we on bloggoth have said before but it can never be said too many times and Portillo says it well. Well worth a read.

I worry because men of power who take instruction from unseen forces are essentially fanatics. Blair is filled with a self-confidence and self-satisfaction that are dangerous. They were evident last week as he refused to take responsibility for anything that has happened in Iraq since America and Britain occupied it. Those who look for judgment not from the electorate or parliament or a free press but from God release themselves from the constraints of democracy.

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Cold buffet

Sod the blog this w/e. Partly because horrible PEOPLE keep wasting my time and what I have left seems to be being spent servicing the F* government as usual. I must have spent hours helping to fill out SOMEBODY ELSE's forms. Did I even get a bit of bum sex in return? I did not. Partly because, even though I had a few things I planned to say, I can't be arsed. There are some typical bloggoth topics in the paragraph below, please make your own posts.

Stinking government pidgeons huge bottoms bastard civil servants crappy migrants unsavoury sexual practices political correctness Islam {He Whom It Would Be Justifiable To Stab Although I Am Not Personally Calling For His Stabbing} wasps kitchen implements in conjunction with politicians's arses John Prescot crappy religions wasted tax self-appointed spokesman bastards useless parasites sundry rantings about authority slugs Lying Brownstuff horrible common people unelected EU bastards

I have not supplied any verbs as any self respecting fellow blogger should have a well-stocked verb garden. If it looks a bit bland I'm sure the excellent Devil's Kitchen will lend a jar of fucks, shit-sticks, wanks and cuntings and things to spice it up if you ask nicely.

You're welcome. Do come again.

PS I will be round to inspect your efforts next week. They had better be good.

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IR visit

Mr xoggoth, what is this entry in your business expenses that is just marked with a question mark? You cannot claim something as a business expense if you do not even know what it is.

Ah yes, well I'm afraid I forgot to keep a record on that item you see, but I do know it was a payment of tax or a Companies House fee or something of that sort, look, I have written FUCKING CUNT WANKING PARASITE BASTARDS on the cheque stub.

The doormat nation

Does everyone else think it is just great to live in a country with its head permanently up America's arse that follows meekly into every insane and almost always disastrous foreign endevour they think up, that sacrifices its soldiers in extra NATO duties because so called NATO allies prefer to fulfil theirs tucked away in safe places, that signs up and complies with every idiot international law designed to make Britain a free benefit system for the third world and a safe haven for the world's criminals, that allows liberal laws refined over centuries to be challenged by repulsive backward religions, that allows all its important laws to be decided by a corrupt self-seeking unelected bunch of c*nts in Brussels? When we are not doing those things we are sacrificing British jobs to appease other European countries.

Britain's long-standing role as the producer of wings for Airbus jets may be sacrificed to placate Germany and clear the way for crisis measures to save the plane-maker.
The intense bargaining came as Chancellor Angela Merkel and President Jacques Chirac sought to bridge the rift at a Berlin summit...
Mr Chirac said no "forced redundancies" would be tolerated...
Berlin in turn is balking at proposals to close up to four Airbus plants...
Wolfgang Juttner, the Social-Democrat leader of Lower Saxony, said Germans were no longer willing to roll over for the sake of harmony. "German opinion has been massively mobilised over the last few weeks to save our jobs. We are beginning to learn to play the game like the French," he said.
Mr Bischoff's French counterpart, Arnaud Lagardere, retorted that he would fight tooth and nail to defend French interests, bringing the long-fraught Franco-German partnership to the point of breakdown.
....
Since neither side is willing to compromise, the path of least resistance is to let Germany muscle in on Britain's coveted wing business.

That looks about right. When all else fails, hey I know, let's agree to take the jobs from the DOORMAT

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Far way places with strange sounding names

Ah! the romance of foreign places! Reminded of this after listening to "1952 Vincent Black Lightning" by the excellent Richard Thomson. It tells of a lawless British Biker who falls for a red-headed lady and leaves her his Vincent after getting fatally wounded in a bungled armed robbery. Yeeeh!, right on!! put that in a California context and what images it conjures up, Easy Rider, Born to be wild.... For us law-abiding dull timid sorts there is a sort of romance about those outside the law. When they are in California anyway.

But RT's anti-hero takes Red Molly for a ride down to Boxhill. Boxhill? Boxhill is about 20 miles from me. Some really great country, but where all the bikers congregate is a bit with a couple of tatty laybys, some hotdog stands and a public toilet. I suspect the latter is an important part as from my own biking days and occasional trips to BMF in Peterborough I had the distinct impression that most British bikers are as bent as 87 bent corkscrews with a penchant for talking about turd sandwiches and seeing how often they can piss in their leathers* without anyone noticing. If you don't believe me go to Boxhill or any other famous biker's haunt and look at the graphitti on the toilet walls.

Route 66, there's a romantic name. In the 60s there used to be an American TV series of that name with George Chakiris (West Side Story) about two blokes drifting along the route. Then the blues song, most famously done by the Rolling Stones. I have always thought the nearest we have is the A272 and amazingly, looking on the net, I seem not to be the only one who thinks so.

Well if you ever plan to motor west
Just take my way that's the highway that's the best
It suits you on the the A272

Well it winds from (just past) Hadlow Down to Winchester (almost)
More than 102 miles all the way
It suits you on the the A272

Well goes from Haywards Heath down to Petersfield
Midhurst Town looks oh so, erm, erm, brown
You'll see Newick and Billingshurst, West Sussex
Petworth, Hampshire don't forget erm, erm, erm, Bramdean
Cowfold, erm, erm, Rogate, erm, Tillington

Would you get hip to this kindly tip
And go take that down to Hampshire trip
It suits you on the the A272

(Repeat several times, it gets better.)

*Actually, this curious obsession is not unique to bikers. From my fairly brief membership of a caving club (ah! that warm musty smell in the changing huts afterwards) this seems to apply to potholers too although because of the wetsuits and the amount of clobber one has to put on top of it against the freezing cold water it is socially acceptable to do this. All over the world, there are people indulging in sports like potholing, diving, cycling and canoing only because they love that warm feeling down the leg inside tight rubber or lycra clothes.

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Coincidence

Unless you are one who sometimes reads Rantings of a Sandmonkey you may never have heard of Abdel Karim before. After the channel 4 news tonight, plenty will now. What strange allies we keep! Every sort of bloody repressive dictatorship, even Saddam Hussein, while we think it serves our purpose.

A yes! What does it matter? There are greater considerations, repressive dictatorships, repulsive political groups, the main things is we have to oppose the real enemy and "my enemy's enemy is my friend!" Does it ever occur to anyone that the opposite is just as true? Perhaps there are many out there who might have sided with us, those repressed by the dictators, the minorities threatened by those political groups, saying that "my enemy's friend is my enemy".

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MRSA

Statistics (pages 71 & 74) show that MRSA and C Difficile deaths are much more prevalent in NHS than private hospitals. Of course they are. It's due to the higher percentage of horrible common people in NHS hospitals.

Horrible common people should get elocution lessons to make them posher. If they spoke properly and were called Tabitha instead of Tracey MRSA would soon be a thing of the past.

The only way we will ever get real democracy is by immediately hanging every elected member from a lamppost (twice) until nobody else dares to stand

Just about the entire population of the country now has an email from the PM telling us why he does not give a fek for our* opinions on road pricing and he is going to press ahead anyway. We will not post it here for the odd one or two in lunatic asylums who did not sign the petition as you can see the the full text on Not Proud Of Britain's blog. Saves us the trouble of having to enclose HIS name in the mandatory pentagram. Presumably these "proper" blogs have fancy built in methods to avoid demonic possession.

Very similar response on the demand for a referendum on continued membership of the EU. You can read that on the Downing Street website. It is clear that when the European constitution is sneaked in by the back door the UK public will have no say over it whatever and the UK government will have plenty of support on that.

Naturally, due to our immense influence on bloggoth and the way that government trembles at our every word we have had an extra email (from the 10 Downing Street secret email system number 32) that nobody else has received. Road charging? Well, come to think of it, maybe it isn't SUCH a bad idea. We think that after rational consideration of all the alternatives, we just might conclude it is the best way forward.

Mmmm. xoggoth will look SO handsome in ermine.

*Note: To those who rabbit on about politically motivated disgruntled minorites being behind these things 'our' here is not just the 1.7 million who signed the petition but the 75% of the public who oppose the scheme.

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Great news

I see that the PM has announced that 1600 troops are to be withdrawn from Iraq over the next few months. Some 3000 British troops are to likely to come home this year.

We at bloggoth are big enough to admit when we were wrong. Far from Iraq descending further into chaos it has now become what the British and US governments always told us it would be, a beacon of democracy in the middle East, a safe and peaceful place in which terrorism and insurrection have been largely defeated and it is simply great that we can now withdraw leaving it in the capable hands of an entirely impartial, uncorrupt and competent Iraqi force.

What?

What?

Oh ! I see! There are local elections in May!

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Bloggoth Silly Award

The adult Sheep Finder

Blogging makes you stupid

Among all the usual guff, blunders by the foreign office, political dishonesty, soldiers being killed to no purpose and similar trivia like that, some interesting news. It appears many are addicted to email and feel obliged to check for new messages every few minutes. If they do not get a message, they send themselves one. Barking! True, we at bloggoth did at one point seriously contemplate posting replies to this blog because nobody else does, but that impulse fell into a pit of sheer laziness, it was so much easier to tell ourselves that we get no replies because people feel overawed by our wisdom. Lazy, mean and vodka are what keeps us sane on bloggoth.

Wierdest of all was the research by Kings College that says such addiction to email has a profound effect on the brain and that email users suffered a 10 per cent drop in IQ scores, more than twice the fall recorded by marijuana users. I don't think I believe that! I cannot see why emailing should cause more of a drop than reading or writing a technical report say, as it involves the same skills. So does writing blogs come to that! We are sure our enormous IQ is not dropping on bloggoth.

Yerrrh. We think we have wet our pants again. Mummy! Grhhaaaammph.

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Work - bored outa skull - doodling

Substitute fathers

Parenting, or more specifically the lack of the male version of same in some, ahem, (SAY NO MORE!) sections of the community is in the news With all the shootings in South London and the high profile comments by {He Who It Would Be Justifiable To Stab Although I Am Not Personally Calling For His Stabbing} and The Blithering Camoron. Naturally we at Bloggoth would not remark further (SAY NO MORE!) as we just love our enriched society, us.

I do not know if HWIWBJTSAIANPCFHS or TBC came up with any ideas and am not even going to look for their comments as anything from politicians is bound to be a load of high sounding but vaccuous crap. In the case of {HWIWBJTSAIANPCFHS}, firm sounding vacuous crap that will never get implemented. Difficult to find a good solution. I have seen it suggested that fathers be forced to take an interest in their children but I can't help feeling that forced fatherhood is not exactly going to be ideal fatherhood. What else is there?

Ranting Stan thought the draft would be a good idea. Possibly that can work. I know my brother, who went into the army as an aimless idle compost heap, came out of the army as a smart focused young man, and it must have been a whole six weeks before he transitioned back into an aimless idle compost heap*. Or we could cut their ghoolies off before they reach puberty, but I daresay society is still not ready for really effective measures like that. In any case they would all end up 8 feet tall and start singing gangsta rap in falsetto voices. Pity really, because I had already drawn up a great blueprint for a massive combine harvester-based ghooly chopper that would trundle through the streets of London, doing up to 500 pairs a minute.

We are told that too many children do not have male role models in their life. We are also told that too many children grow up with few interactive skills because they sit in front of a TV all day. Can we combine these facts in a way that cancels them both out? I have a theory that humans are just like ducklings and will bond with whatever they become used to. Of course children do not run quacking after the first thing they see on being born, but that is only because humans mature/develop much more slowly so it takes longer. So here's the plan, dress the mothers up as television sets in the early weeks so that children think that all caring adults are television sets. Then you could sit them down for hours on end in front of the TV and instead them of growing up feeling abandoned they would grow up feeling loved and thinking how lucky there were to have a daddy who stayed home and talked to them all the time.

I thought the combine harvester sounded more fun though.

*Note: Hopefully aforesaid bro has still not found this blog, if he has, I didn't mean it honest! (not!)

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BMW cars - a technical notice

Mechanics are advising BMW owners that they can safely drive their cars without engine oil. The BMW engine is so well made to very fine tolerances that friction is negligible. In fact, they say that oil in these quality engines actually increases frictional drag and consequent heating and it is a very good idea to drain any existing oil from your car's engine before driving again.

Cruel comments on wind turbines

Talking of Stan, he appears not to like wind turbines. Not in beautiful scenery sure, but near motorways they are magnificant, not to say really NICE and quite sweet. I pass one on another motorway twice a week and always wave and go "Hello whizzy thing!". "Hello xoggoth" it goes. Lots of things are really nice to xoggoth, wasps, slugs, wind turbines, empty crisp packets. Everything except people in fact. We hate people. One day we will have our revenge.

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Let's play make believe

We all know democracy is a joke and that the E-Petitions site is just another cynical exercise, paid for out of our taxes, in pretending that this government gives a shit about what the electorate thinks.

What is not quite so expected is the way that some of them do not even pretend it ever had any meaning. Faced with a huge petition on road charges all they did was dismiss it and rubbish the petitioners. The transport minister has said he intends to go ahead anyway and has called the chap who thought up the E-petition system a prat. What a bunch of scum.

Given the cynicism behind the whole thing it is amazing how few silly petitions there are. I assume most of them were not approved and could only see two, "We the undersigned petition the Prime Minister to replace the national anthem with 'Gold' by Spandau Ballet" and "We the undersigned petition the Prime Minister to stand on his head and juggle ice-cream". There was also "Abolish Central Government" although that is clearly not silly at all.

We wanted to create a petition like "We the undersigned petition the Prime Minister to shove a blender up his arse and turn it on" but it would not have been approved. We have therefore been obliged to submit a disappointingly non-silly and un-obscene petition:

We the undersigned petition the Prime Minister to introduce the following specific measures to make Britain a true democracy:

1) Secret ballot in the House so that MPs are free to use their own good judgement on our behalf.
2) Major military operations to be subject to vote of confidence once any immediate emergency has passed.
3) Mandatory approval by referendum for all major constitutional changes.
4) Mandatory referenda on any subject whenever sufficient public support has been gained.
5) Proportional representation.
6) A fully elected upper chamber.

Once it is approved I do hope my two readers will sign my petition.

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Invasions of privacy yet to come

In one of the 37 hours at work when I was totally bored stiff I got to thinking about the potential of CCTV.

We can safely expect those fuzzy shots of armed raiders and passing rapists to greatly improve in quality over the next few years as technology improves and gets cheaper, but what potential is there if you combine high resolution, variable light sensitivity and major computing power?

What does a CCTV picture show? Well, what it is pointed at of course, but could it show more? The surfaces reflect light that falls on them and that includes light that was reflected off other objects. Unless you are viewing a shop window or similar highly reflecting surface that light is so scattered and is such a small proportion of light reflected anyway you cannot distinguish it, but it's there. If they subtract the constant of static objects using previous images and use enough processing on the rest, will future CCTVs be able not just to see what they are looking at but even what is off camera?

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A statement of the bleeding obvious

Some things are obvious when you think about them, but it needs a bit of illustration to bring the reality home.

I revisited the Political Compass site and retook their test. Further right this time* but still in the lower right quadrant. I daresay most libertarian right bloggers like the Devils Kitchen or the Vented Spleen at left would be in this quadrant too. But if you look at the placings of world leaders by Political Compass you will find that that quadrant is completely empty. This is the bleedin' obvious bit. People who have an innate distrust or even dislike of government are generally not the ones with a burning desire to form or join one.

If we are really principled and dedicated to the cause we should be blowing up governments, or, if they are too well protected, at least posting dig poo through the letterboxes of locals who work in the council rates department. None of it will help. In the end we are probably the sorts who will end our days muttering impotently with five inch fingernails in dirty rooms piled high with old newspapers and milk bottles full of our own urine.

*Note: which we put down to random answers for those things one has to agree or disagree with when one would much rather pass and not due to progressive mutation into Hitler.

The webpage containment of political evil pentagram is copyright of Bloggoth

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The role of religion revisited

I have covered this before very recently, but it is worth repeating because yet again I have seen asserted in a blog comment that if we had a more religious society we would have less crime and fewersocial problems. As the chart I produced last time shows, there is no evidence whatever to support it.

Right on cue comes yet more news that tends to disprove it. Yesterday's Telegraph reports on the wave of violence that is spoiling the Rio carnival.

Rio — one of the most violent places in the world — has witnessed a string of brutal killings that have horrified even the most hardy locals. With the death toll rising so fast officials can no longer keep count, locals have felt compelled to create their own website, riobodycount.com, which has recorded 142 killings in the past two weeks alone.

Murders in Rio are now so common they no longer make headlines.

Brazil (not in my previous list) has one of the world's highest homicide rates, nearly four times higher than that for the United States. According to this, 77% of Brazilians rate religion as important, seven times more than in fairly low crime Germany. All that faith does not seem to be doing them a lot of good does it? Neither is it just Islamic societies that are violent as I have also seen asserted recently, some of the most violent societies in the world such as Columbia, South Africa, Brazil, Jamaica and Trinidad are mostly Christian.

If we saw a major return to religious values in the law and governance of our society all we would get is a restoration of the intolerance and the interference in our personal lives we have seen before. Society would not be one iota safer.

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Grovel

We are feeling all guilty now, having been chastised by Ms Ohara on her blog for removing her from list at left on grounds of rarely updating the aforesaid. "Your reasoning is faulty and you are a traitor - from the extremest upward of thy head to the descent and dust beneath thy foot, a most toad spotted traitor". It has also been pointed out that the blog links to ours, even if the link is under a potplant behind the shed. We have not felt so guilty since we accidentally squashed a little spider while chopping logs a few months back. We are still placing flowers on its little grave. Anyway, Wasting Words and the Vented Spleen, who somehow went AWOL by accident, are both back.

PS. Actually, we rather liked being called a toad spotted traitor, it sounds neat.

"Channel 4 being dangerously radicalised" warns Imam

A moderate Muslim Imam who has been operating undercover at Channel Four has revealed the astonishing extent of radicalisation that has taken place among Channel 4 Reporters. He has told Bloggoth that many Channel 4 Reporters have spent so long working undercover in extremist mosques and in far right organisations that they themselves have been radicalised and, as appears common with new converts, are often far more extreme than their mentors. According to the Imam, this extremism takes the form of a virulent mix of Islamism and anti-Islamic Nazism. The reporters in turn have been carrying their messages of hate into the heart of the Channel 4 organisation. Bloggoth has been shown a shaky film purportedly showing Krishnan Guru-Murphy addressing a meeting of the Channel 4 National Socialists For Allah Brigade and denouncing Jews as worse than Pot Noodles and Marmite.

Bloggoth has also been handed a report about a Dispatches program shot undercover at a Coventry branch of Combat88, an aggressively extreme right wing group. When the secret vidoes came to be edited it turned out that all but six of the twenty four extremists videoed were undercover Channel 4 reporters and five of those subsequently turned out to be undercover reporters from The Sunday Times. As it was necessary to hide the identity of all reporters for their protection, the only useable part of the videos after five months of filming was twenty seconds showing an elderly man called Dave moaning about "All these wogs being given council houses". Channel 4 have still not decided when or if the program will be aired.

Bloggoth sources have estimated that 83% of all Islamic terrorism and 74% of organised racist attacks in the past year have been committed by Channel 4 reporters. In one particularly vicious incident a group of Muslim women were attacked by a group of bearded Channel 4 reporters wearing Niqabs covered with Swastikas shouting that all wicked vicious Muslims should be beheaded in the name of Allah.

Channel 4 were also stated to be responsible for 95% of all soft porn in the UK involving grossly fat people and transvestites.

 

An unidentified Channel 4 member calling for the elimination of all non-Aryan Infidels in one of the secret videos.



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Cheering news snippets

More news of the trial of an ex-BNP man accused of stockpiling explosives. The Telegraph (online page unavailable for some reason) reported what he wrote in his dairy:-

Thought for the day. The easiest way to save the country is to assassinate Tony Blair and when Prescott takes over shoot that f***** as well.

Naturally we at Bloggoth disapprove. He should have said that UGLY FAT USELESS f*****. Apart from that, a sound chap. He should have a free pardon and an MBE.


In the DT business section, news that a commons committee has described HMRC as "rudderless" as it is still without a chairman five months after the previous charman stepped down. Rudderless eh? Any hope it will drift onto the rocks and sink with the loss of all hands?

Bad enough the state always interfering in our lives but must it interfere in our deaths too?

I feel really sorry for that Kelly Taylor, if life is so intolerable why the hell is it anyone's business but hers if she wants to end it?

Certainly there need to be major safeguards to avoid the possibility that a decision is due to pressure by relatives or others (which might be subtle or unwitting) or merely a result of temporary depression caused by the condition. But surely, with advice and interviews by experts including psychologists, these possibilities can be largely eliminated? There need to be safeguards for others too so that medical workers are not obliged or pressured in any way to take part in something they object to but here again this should never be necessary as there are those who would provide such help either out of compassion or as a commercial business.

Current UK practice is simply nonsensical. Active intervention using drugs towards a peaceful end is illegal and yet under certain circumstances it is possible to withdraw life support, in other words let people starve, drown in their own fluids or be poisoned by accumulated toxins.

High time this issue was sorted and the overriding priority, as with any other issue that is a purely private matter, is the freedom of the individual to make their own decisions.

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Yes but

News that unemployed migrants will have to learn English or risk losing benefits.

What migrants are we talking about here? If a migrant has previously held down a job and been a net contributor of tax and NI in the UK I see no reason why he/she should not get some benefits commensurate with the contributions. If a migrant comes from an EU country or another country with a reciprocal arrangement that would allow similar rights to a British citizen there I would also have no problem with it.

As for any others:

  1. Why are they getting benefits at all?
  2. Unless their skills are something darn special, why is anyone who cannot speak English allowed in in the first place?
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Typical

Knews that the inflation rate has fallen sharply. What??? I don't call an inflation rate of 1,600% when it was only 3% last month falling.

This bloody useless government, what was all that stuff about a sound economy and ending inflation? And now here we are at 1,600%!!! Unbelievable, bunch of useless, lying... Oh hang on! That's Zimbabwe!

It's still Brownstuff's fault anyway.

Proper depiction

I see Helen Mirren has won the Bafta Best Actress award for The Queen. Unless the missus drags me to it (when I will exact my revenge by dragging her to something decent like Brain Slurping Zombies From Outer Space) I will not be going to see it for three reasons:

PS Brownstuff should be depicted as The Vampire Agaric, a sort of loathsome life-sucking fungus. The hideous fat lying personage we see is merely the fruiting body, the real monster is actually a mass of spreading hyphae permeating the earth and coming up into the homes of every useful person sucking the life from them while they sleep.

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Revelations about a politician's past

Not sure it is always true that the past of politicians should be ignored, maybe if the Yanks had pondered a little on what having been an alcoholic "heavy drinker" says about someone's character they would not have elected the retard Bush.

Still, as long as he is not defending drugtaking, smoking a spliff in sixth form hardly seems a big deal, we have to admit so did we and anything xoggoth has done must be ok by definition. Being a grammar school rather than a public school boy I did not get bummed at school unfortunately, but if The Blithering Camoron got bummed a lot at Eton, as seems apparent from his stupid "I've been bummed a lot" face, we will forgive him that too.

Credible Bloggoth sources allege that in his youth {He Whom It Would Be Morally Justifiable To Stab Although I Am Not Personally Calling For His Stabbing} went about the East End strangling rent boys so he could eat their intestines while jacking off. Naturally this alleged behaviour has nothing to do with his ability to do the PM's job. He was very good at strangling rent boys allegedly.

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Cheek

Talking of bumming, the stinking government have the cheek to suggest that taxpayers should be funding political parties. This would be yet another nail in the the coffin of democracy. The reason that the political parties are now no longer able to (honestly) raise the sums they need for their election campaigns is because of their complete contempt for those they seek to raise the money from. If they can just grab all the money they want from the taxpayer with no questions asked I can see no real reason why they should take any notice of us at all.

Not that raising huge sums from unions or big business is too democratic either. Cap donations to £5,000 and let them raise money by having to go and sell themselves to ordinary people by appeals and organised events. Let them bloody well earn it by listening and providing the sort of society we want.

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Fossilised Britain

Unbelievable news in the DT that under our ridiculous dependency encouraging welfare system one in three households now gets most of its income from state handouts. No advanced country can survive like this. Naturally the government has responded with the usual crap about raising children out of poverty and getting more people into work. Those may even be true, but as usual it is short-sighted nonsense.

Leaving aside the question as to whether the mathematically absurd concept of relative poverty is even poverty at all, in what way will it reduce child poverty in the future if these same children grow up with the expectation that they will have a decent living no matter what or how little they do? Who, unlike most of Britain's middle-aged and elderly, have no shame about doing so because that is the only way they know and what their parents had?

And what use is work that does not even pay its workers an adequate living? There may be some low paid jobs that generate more wealth for the nation than the wages suggest, but in a free market economy these will be few and far between. I suspect there will be far more such jobs that, without the cushion of welfare, would not exist and should not exist. Waiters in struggling restaurants that barely make a profit, envelope stuffers that bring little benefit to anyone apart from their exploiting bosses. Even most socialists now pay lip service to the idea that Leyland-style state subsidies are not sensible, yet huge state subsidy of millions of small uneconomic jobs via the welfare system is exactly what we now have.It locks in inefficiency and redundancy.

High time we took a leaf out of the Americans' book and took a damn great axe to welfare.

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The iron web

I have never specifically mentioned one of the links at left but PC Blogs is excellent on illustrating the ridiculous way our society is going. Others in the public sector say the same, my missus used to love teaching, now she just can't wait to retire due to constant paperwork of targets and lesson plans, plans for lesson plans, policies and policy policies, rigid curricula that are boring kids stiff, everything regulated lest one might get a hangnail and have the school sued. It isn't just the private sector either, the place I am at now (not for much longer thank the atheist god) monitors lunchtime internet usage to a level appropriate for infants, for example, Ratatak's site is categorised as "Forbidden - extreme". Perhaps there is a hidden white supremicist message in that snowman picture.

Forget global warming, we in the West will be extinct by then anyway, all tied up in an invisible iron web of regulation, unable to move for fear of injuring ourselves or someone else, unable to speak for fear of offending some minority, unable to eat or drink other than what is allowed lest we damage our health, unable to choose our own viewing or reading lest we be corrupted, unable to do any damn thing at all without being watched and observed and unable to afford to do anything anyway after all our salary has been confiscated to pay for the foregoing.

All of this gets me so mad, I think the only real solution is for the saner section of the public, the ones who actuallypay for all this nonsense, to rise up and smash the stupid life out of the regulators and administrators with big metal baseball bats.

All of this gets me so mad I am no longer entirely sure if I am joking.

All of this gets me so mad I am no longer entirely sure if I am joking when I say am not sure if I am joking.

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The political party we really want

Still no sign of my UKIP membership despite the nice message somebody sent me on xoggothmail. Of course even UKIP is not my preferred party but the Monster Raving Loonies never stand in my constituency. Actually what a great government you would have if parties were really run along mental illness lines.

How about The Chronic Depressives Party?

  1. It is budget day and after a two hour delay the chancellor is finally coaxed out of the door of number 11 by his staff. He is dishevelled and smelly and the famous red box thrust into his hand by his aide hangs limpy at his side. Tears stream down his face. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, I've let everyone down, I meant to raise taxes for more spending on the NHS but, I don't know, I'm sorry, I've just not felt up to it. I'm really sorry. I feel so worthless, I should never have been born. I'm so sorry" The chancellor disappears back into number 11 and shortly afterwards there is the sound of a shot.

  2. PM's question time. The latest daft war has been going badly and the PM had been widely expected to send more troops in to get shot for no useful purpose whatever. The PM is unshaven and fails to rise. As the house looks at him expectantly, he remains slumped in his seat and is heard to mutter "What is the point?, what is it all for? After the house has risen he remains slumped in his seat. The next morning the Lib Dem whip arrives early to find the PM dangling from a lower beam of the press gallery.

We can but dream and it isn't so far fetched. After all, the NPD* Party has held power for long enough.


*NPD = Narcissistic personality disorder. From Wikipedia at least five of the following are necessary for a diagnosis of NPD:

  1. has a grandiose sense of self-importance
  2. is preoccupied with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty, or ideal love
  3. believes that he or she is "special" and unique and can only be understood by other special people
  4. requires excessive admiration
  5. strong sense of entitlement
  6. takes advantage of others to achieve his or her own ends
  7. lacks empathy
  8. is often envious or believes others are envious of him or her
  9. arrogant affect.

Sound familiar?


PS. No! we are not referring to ourselves, how dare you? The unlimited brilliance and beauty, specialness and uniqueness of xoggoth is no fantasy and admiration is clearly our due.

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Try this for yourself

I was looking for a picture of a tramp on the net and got so many porn pics I turned the Google safe search on. I have discovered that you get far fewer pictures of


Gordon
Brown

with safe search on than you do with it off. I knew it was not just me that finds his fat ugly Scottish lying face quite obscene.

The webpage containment of political evil pentagram is copyright of Bloggoth

Oates returns alive

Scientists at the Russian research station in Antartica today were amazed when a heavily bearded stranger banged on their door during a blizzard bearing an amazing story. Historians sent the photographs appear to confirm the man's apparently bizarre tale that he is indeed Captain Laurence Edward Grace Oates who famously walked out of Scott's tent on March 17, 1912, saying "I may be some time".

Scientists think that his frozen body may have been in a state of cryonic preservation and has only recently thawed out due to global warming. He still appears to be a man of just 32. When asked for a statement Captain Oates said that the next time he needed a shit in a blizzard he would stay in the tent and use his fur hat.

H5N1

It seems that the Avian Influenza virus at Bernard Mathews is of the dreaded subtype H5N1. The pictures of this little creature show that it quite bootiful. Although I certainly do not wish any NICE little birds to get killed, is there not some way we could protect the birds without eliminating this lovely virus?

Apparently it mutates very rapidly, so why can't scientists incubate the viruses inside some surplus people like foreigners or socialists and make them grow to bird size and adapt to eating bird seed? Then they could release the mutated viruses to go off and mate with all the wild viruses to pass on the new characteristics.

They could do the same with other viruses, some of which are even more spectacular, the foot and mouth virus, for example. I would love to have a few of these lovely creatures at my bird table.

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Public disclaimer

xoggoth wishes to clarify that the person sending letter bombs to stinking bastard government agencies who steal our money and to traitor companies supplying means for the stinking bastard government to steal even more money and to spy on us or which are connected with horrible barbaric experimentation on NICE little animals to benefit crappy humanity is not him.

PS: As soon as we have adapted the old spin dryer in the garage to run at 40,000 r.p.m. we will be pursuing our research into nuclear energy by concentrating uranium hexafluoride from used teabags. Note that this will be for entirely peaceful purposes.

Tax

Darned if we could find it on the net, but the Daily Telegraph reported yesterday that the National Audit Office found that 6m are paying the wrong tax. This is up by 58% on the figure reported less than two weeks ago. According to our calculations, this rate of increase means that the entire population of the world will be paying the wrong tax to the UK government in less than 30 weeks.

Naturally we at bloggoth do not agree with this figure, 6bn paying the wrong tax? what rubbish! The entire taxpaying population of the UK is paying the wrong tax! When we at Bloggoth take over the country, which is only a matter of time, we will abolish tax apart from a tiny amount to pay for our palaces, personal bodyguard and hot and cold running concubines. Why do we need a central administration at all?

Defence? It would work just as well if armies were raised locally as they used to be. Counties could come to mutual agreements on funding the major items, say Lancashire could pay for the Trident submarines and Yorkshire the nuclear missiles while Rutland could chip in with a few dinghies and lifejackets.

Welfare? We at bloggoth are not heartless, we recognise society needs a few orphaned kids, disabled widows, village idiots and other types of deserving poor if only to make us feel smug and superior and give us something to laugh at, and would not be remiss in directing counties to build the almshouses and workhouses necessary. When the only welfare was almshouses England was a major European power and when we had workhouses Britain had an enormous empire. Was this coincidence? We think not! As for the rest, we would not only remove welfare from them but would have armed police going around DEMANDING BACK what society had paid them over the last twenty years!!

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I want it back

I find things keep disappearing. It is not just my vodka, I know perfectly well it cannot be me drinking those two bottles a day, but CDs, clothes and all sorts of personal items too. There is only one conclusion, somebody is so besotted with xoggoth that he/she/it is stealing these things for erotic purposes or to make themselves a shrine.

I entirely understand and most of it is no big deal but I would appeal to whoever it is, please bring back my James Bond kimono dressing gown. This was just like the one Sean Connery wore in one of his many seduction scenes and a major asset in the xoggoth bedroom. I spent a whole £7.99 on it at ASDA!

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Do you want a bag for that?

The local government page of The Times this week reported the problem that councils are having finding places to bury people. Yet again this was anticipated by xoggoth years ago.

Maybe the government could hire some advertising consultants who will make it all the rage to have dead relative-based products stuck around your home. Effective embalming and an injection with a quick hardening resin and instead of photos to remind you, you could have the real thing. Granny would make a brilliant novelty lamp stand.


A house in Surrey showing how to liven up a stylish but otherwise rather dull fireplace with your granny and grandad. The lower halves are in use as novelty toiler roll holders in the bathrooms.

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Bloggoth Silly Award

Quite by chance we happened on Chairman Moo. One the best silly awards we have had. There is masses of silliness on that site. We think that the puppy up a stick and Hitler babies and the zombie queen mum are our favourites so far.

Our real concern is, has that site cornered the world's supply of silliness? Is there anything silly left to say? We think we hate them.

Additions

We have decided to add another blog to our list at left. Not Proud Of Britain doesn't say a lot, but manages to list all the bum things about what is happening to our country that make us rant.

Get caught out over and over again and sooner or later you will be rumbled

On Newsnight last night Jeremy Paxman was interviewing a Muslim spokeswoman regarding the inflamatory material being used at an Islamic school that described Jews and Christians as monkeys and pigs and invited pupils to list the defects of jews. Paxman was waving copies of the material that the BBC had had translated by two independent experts. Oh dear, er um, time to wheel out the second line defences, a) Arabic is such a complex and subtle language, it didn't really mean that at all and pupils/teachers would not have interpreted the material as these INDEPENDENT EXPERT TRANSLATORS did and anyway b)The material was not used anymore, it was just kept in case there were other bits that might be of use.

This utter crap sounded so familiar I had a distinct sense of deja-vu. Ah yes, here it is, what I wrote in the early half of last year.

News also this week that Muslim students are being taught to despise unbeleivers as filth at a college with strong Iranian links. One of the teachers stated that that chapter was not taught. Let's leave aside that that has been contradicted by some moderate students, but even if it is true, why is the offending text there at all? If a Christiantext used in any school had chapters comparing Muslims to faces and urine and carrion, whether or not it was actually taught, would Muslims be happy with that?

So, about nine months on, caught out again, and the same excuses get trotted out. It was the same with the recent Channel 4 undercover mosque program. Oh dear. All those quotes, about how homosexuals should be murdered, Jews and Christians were enemies of Islam, praise of Osama Bin Laden, telling Muslims they should not be happy living in anything that an Islamic state, well of course they were ALL out of context weren't they?? I so sympathise. It was exactly the same with the last channel 4 program in 2002 wasn't it, everything reported out of context. Probably just the same with the similar report by the Sunday Times I bet.

But you see, as an engineering graduate with a strong grounding in maths and statistics I have a slight problem here, probability. I know damn well that if you went along to meeting of Catholics addressed by a Roman Catholic priest and recorded every damn thing he said for A YEAR, you would not hear comments of that nature about homosexuals, protestants, Jews, Muslims or anyone else, in or out of context, that could fill even five minutes of programming. I do not know for sure but I would hazard a geuss that that would be true in Hindu and Sihk temples as well. The Times and the company making Dispatches for Channel 4 are commercial companies and no matter what sort of terrible bias they might have against Islam they cannot afford to send people to mosques for umpteen months on end just to fill a half hour slot. The fact that they manage to find plenty of material by sending reporters to mosques for two to three months tells us exactly what we need to know about Islam.

Ah yes and that tiny minority! What a curiously well organised tiny minority it is. Any protest and that tiny handful is there waving banners about beheading infidels. Amazing! They should write a book on effective organisation, I am sure it would sell well on the business bookshelves. And any time a reporter goes out for an interview he just happens to chance upon that one Muslim in a million who supports stoning adulters and killing homosexuals. Or several, as John Snow did a few months back. What are the chances of that eh? Gosh he was lucky! Or wanders among London bookshops, oh dear! just chanced upon the ONLY ONE in the UK selling extreme videos!

And those surveys! Well, we know those are biased don't we? The surveyors all have a secret list of extremist Muslims that they can phone up so they can slant the results. Hell, I expect they just make them up! Not that 40% wanting Shariah law in the UK means anything anyway, after all, Muslims have a completely different understanding of what it means. Odd that, because what we indiginous British mean by it is exactly what is actually imposed by Islamic governments elsewhere in the world. Ah yes, but let's not forget that Pakistanis would understand something different due to the subleties of Arabic! Silly me!

I think there is only one question to ask of Islam. Who the hell do you think you are fooling?

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Equal opportunities in crime

In the news tonight, a youth shot in his flat in Peckham. Shot? Peckham? SAY NO MORE!

But to be fair, the last few days has revealed details about yet another bunch of paedophiles and it is equally true that these almost always seem to be middle aged white blokes.

We at Bloggoth deplore these terrible racial divides, we DEMAND that middle aged white men should be sent to inner cities to train as gun toting drug dealers. Young black men must be bussed to Surrey schools to train as paedophiles. Once these dreadful racial divisions have been tackled, (and cost is of no importance) we can all walk forward together into the bright 100% criminal society that New Labour have carved out for us.

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So who gives a damn?

Last night's TV had a program on people under detention orders.

Two of them appeared decent enough blokes while one was a scumbag who supported Osama Bin-Laden but maybe he was just the only honest guy among them. However, one of the nicer-seeming chaps was an illegal immigrant and NONE of the three was a British citizen.

Tonight the TV news reports that there are concerns about Algerians sent back. Apparently, despite assurances the Algerians gave to the British govenment, the men have been arrested and questioned. Not quite sure why this is necessarily a concern to anyone. Trying to ensure that returnees are not subject to torture or to arbitrary politically motivated arrest is one thing, but surely the Algerian government were not expected to give these men complete immunity to investigation where participation in terrorism was reasonably expected? Would the British government agree to such terms? I hope not.

If the UK wishes to assumes responsibility for the persecuted and harmless as a matter of charity I would say ok within limits. But where any risk to British citizens is even suspected they should be sent back and I do not give a damn what happens to them. International obligations? If international obligations require British citizens to be put at risk then such obligations should be terminated immediately.

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Do the Yanks even care if they have any friends?

More on the Channel 4 news tonight about the inquest into British servicemen killed in (yet another) friendly fire incident by our great American allies.

Yet again there has been the usual problem with the Yanks failing to release the video of the incident. Release was only agreed after the video had been leaked by The Sun anyway. The lawyers for the family of the deceased have been requesting it since 2003 without success. The US spokesman interviewed repeatedly made the claim that the information had been made available from the outset and it was only the persistent questioning by John Snow that revealed the truth. Yes, it had indeed been made available but only to the MOD with the stipulation that it could not be provided to a civil court.

Now I admit I am not a military expert but I would hazard a geuss that a three year old tape of what was otherwise a routine mission would not exactly be of major strategic importance to the enemy. This was just so unecessary, all they had to do was release the tape. If this was just one of those unfortunate incidents that we all recognise can happen in the heat of conflict or some administrative cockup that we all recognise as the hallmark of government generally then nothing in the tape should have contradicted it. As it is, most will conclude there is only one possible reason for the refusal to release this tape to the coroner, to cover up yet another piece of gungho John Wayne action by an ill disciplined military.

Like many in the UK I am beginning to think that narrow self-interested arrogance permeates the American establishment from top to bottom. There is no point whatever in the British continuing to provide the very threadbare fig leaf that anything they do is about anything but their own interests because we never get anything in return and we probably never will.

It won't happen in my lifetime but certainly well within my sons' lifetimes, the Americans will no longer be top dogs. Maybe it is already time we had the sense shown by the French and stopped wasting our time on this one-sided alliance.

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We have seen several of these political spectrum self-tests. Every one we have done puts us down in the libertarian right quadrant but we were always very annoyed to be quite so near the centre as if we were some sort of wishy washy moderate. Politically we would like to be described as psychopathic posh nationalist xenophobic anarchist. At last! One survey that puts xoggoth close to where he belongs!. We scored #1 on this - Anarchist!


 

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