More ways to save money

I know many have appreciated my tips on low cost sex aids in the past and I have received numerous requests to bring my unique mean, er, I mean thrifty, outlook to bear on other areas of life. Here, lifted from bloggoth, is the first of what will be a complete encyclopaedia of money saving tips that have nothing to do with that beastliness that decent people don't talk about. (Not to be confused with the sort of beastliness that hardly anyone talks about except xoggoth)

Giving up smoking the economical way

Much in the news recently, what with the ban, government sponsored ads on TV and provision of NHS centres, is smoking or rather the need to stop smoking. I never had the slightest problem myself but I suppose one can't expect willpower like mine in lesser mortals. Unfortunately, these nicotine patches seem to be seriously expensive. I had a look on line and the cheapest 7 day packs are around 17 plus delivery. Those of you who are careful with money like myself must find that really galling. Yes, I know, I expect a pleasure cruise in the Caribbean for that sort of dosh too!

Fortunately, there are alternatives. Nicotine has long been a remedy for greenfly and other garden pests and it is apparently still the only effective remedy for the leaf miner grub. It is quite difficult to get these days but there are one or two products on sale for use by the professional gardener. this one is ideal, being a 95% nicotine solution.

You can either refill your old nicotine patches, or better, since those are probably not robust enough for much reuse, simply soak your underpants and/or knickers in a diluted solution overnight and leave to dry before wearing. I am sure that should work a treat.

What concentration? Look, you will have to do a bit of research and work that out for yourself, I can't do everything for you you know! It takes a 5% solution to kill greenfly and you are thousands of times bigger so I wouldn't worry too much. Maybe it will say on the label what concentration it needs for the greenfly just to stop smoking.

I suppose I should point out that some boring "responsible" sorts would say that liquid nicotine is extremely toxic and that following my advice may even prove fatal. Such advice is typical of the namby pamby nanny state in my opinion, and even if it could be true, are my fellow astutes seriously going to let a slight risk like that get in the way of saving several pounds? Of course not!

I look forward to receiving all your success stories about how you kicked smoking cheaply by following my advice. At the very least you won't get leaf miner grub in your arse and if you do poison yourself, don't forget it is much less painful way to go than lung cancer and you will have the satisfaction of going to your maker knowing you saved a few quid.

Copyright xoggoth