Page 58 (Latest)
The ramblings of an old git
bloggoth Mission Statement:
Suppose one thinks more about what happens after death when you get older. I quite like the idea of reincarnation, coming back as some animal and seeing the world in a different way. Not sure it would all be good compared to the human life though. What is sex is like for example? Some animals, like Bonobo chimpanzees and Adele Penguins, have fun but not sure about some others.
Are ghosts rude?
Was looking at a xoggoth page I did years, probably decades, ago. What a dirty mind I had then! Pity those interests have somewhat declined with old age. I know there are remedies for male "failures" but I don't need those yet fortunately, what I need is a drug to stimulate the yearnings more. Probably think about sex once a week, back in younger days it used to be more like once a minute.
Maybe these urges come back when you've snuffed it, if you go to hell anyway, as I an atheist like me surely will. Lust is supposed to be sinful, so it is logical to assume that all those evil dead down in hell are shagging each other round the clock. Maybe ghosts can be randy too, just think how easy it would be to be a Peeping Tom when you aren't limited by physical barriers like doors. And the police can't get you either! Perhaps an exorcist could get rid of you but it ain't easy, you can't just dial a 3 digit phone number and get one to come right out.
PS I like online porn with lesbians doing mucky things. Apologies to any of my non-existent followers with a lesbian allergy.
PPS Has anyone else ever picked up the phone and dialled 666 to see if the beast answers? Just the usual "The number you have called has not been recognised" message. How disappointing!
We need a new god
Religion is often associated, and quite rightly, with illiberal views. None of the major religions reflect modern attitudes to sex equality for example, look at all the "prophets" and "messiahs", they are all males. Where was the lady in the disciples? And what about god, Allah or whatever? Male of course! And let's not mention he is also white and straight. I'm surprised the "liberals" are not toppling crucifixes and statues in churches and demanding a god who is black, gay, transexual and female, apart from his/her transexual bits of course. Me, I'm more a fan of nice little animals, how about a badger god?
Whatever one's take on these "liberal" issues, (inverted commas because today's "liberals" can be the most intolerant pople ever) religion is certainly very undemocratic. Why is god allowed to occupy the position for ever? Surely the dead, whether in heaven or hell, should elect a new god at regular intervals. It would be very different to an election on Earth where we have to take account of practicalities because an almighty god can deliver whatever he promises. Jeremy Corbyn would be a good candidate. The British electorate didn't vote for him as PM because of all his daft lefty spending promises that would have bankrupted the country but, if he was god, that magic money tree would actually exist!
There are risks of course. The candidate could fool us all and, when he was god, do whatever he wanted. Worst dictator ever! There are a lot of nasty people down in hell who know how to gain power for their own ends.
A new addition to the team
xoggoth is pleased to announce he found a new friend while walking today. Please welcome Mr Manky Badger Skull. Hopefully he will make a major contribution to the non-existent crap on this blog. We just need a short interview before he is welcomed into the team.
Come on Google
With F* all else to do at the moment but walking and not allowed to travel far, I've got a bit obsessed recently with trying to find some nice local paths that I remember going on but can't remember where they are.
Google Street View is great for roads, but why is there no Google Footpath View? Obviously they can't drive big vans down them, but cameras can be so tiny and cheap these days, why can't they attach some to badgers, foxes, birds etc. so we can see the countryside in detail? Actually, with the advancements in bioelectronics and genetic engineeering, would it be so difficult to breed animals with built in cameras, GPS sensors and 5G connection to automatically provide this data in real time? Daresay there might be a few problems initially but it's a good long term plan.
So much in common
Today's "liberals" and religious fanatics.
To give them credit, these "liberals" have some fine ideals, who would not want a united world without wars, free of racism, sexism and all the other isms? The problem is that they have scarcely any more grasp of reality than the religious loonies who follow the commands of those deranged, self serving or entirely fictional "prophets" and "messiahs". Want to stop racism? Great idea, let's open the borders and have millions of people side by side who never mix and have entirely different views of the direction of society. That's always worked well throughout history hasn't it? As we have said a million times before, the best way to achieve a more united world is to work with human nature, not pretend it can be changed by waving placards.
Then there's the way they constantly criticise the government, as if they would do everything perfectly themselves, just as if they were following the commands of an almighty and infallible god. From the comfort of their armchairs, not having to do bugger all themselves, they act as if it's all so easy, as if the government has access to infinite resources, does not have to cope with changing situations, make difficult decisions to balance one risk against another or decide on actions when even the experts are telling them different things.
Then there's the constant illogical moaning about U turns which distinctly resembles the views of those religious fanatics. It's as if the directions we should take are somehow engraved into some religious script and we have to follow them regardless of changing circumstances. Look you F* idiots, our political leaders don't have access to infinite wisdom from on high. Human societies are immensely complex and some actions can be positive in some ways but have downsides. In a very complex and unprecedented situation, like trying to cope with this Corona virus, there is no fount of sacred wisdom. The most sensible thing our leaders can do is to act more like lab. scientists, see how things play out. If something doesn't work as well as was hoped then change the approach or even reverse it.
U turns can be sensible!
Who would be better skilled?
There was already enormous pressure on the NHS due to this Covid thing and now they are planning to vaccinate millions of people within months. They have already started to recruit temporary staff. Unfortunately, the ad states that anyone applying for the role must have experience of working in a healthcare setting. This will certainly greatly restrict numbers of applicants and I think they need to start thinking outside the box if they want to tackle this unprecedented crisis.
So who else would be good at doing injections? Drug addicts! Anyone who has been injecting themselves with needles for months or even years will be pretty good at getting the positioning right. We could make better use of all sorts of criminals. Criminal psychologists use criminal profiling to identify likely suspects or possible victims but is a normal person of sound mind really the best person for the job? Who would be better at getting into the mind of a serial killer than another serial killer?
The friendly repair ghost
Who needs to get things repaired? Not me, I appear to have a little repair spirit in the house. Some months ago my camera stopped working. Tried new battery and memory card, didn't help. Tried it one last time before I chucked it and it was fine. Been ok since. For ages I have had a dripping tap in the kitchen and a dripping shower in the bathroom, meant to get the local plumber around to fix them but no need now, they have both stopped dripping. Then, a few weeks ago, the CD player in the conservatory packed up, kept stopping and displaying track 1. Tried it with 2 or 3 CDs. As with the camera, I was going to take it to the dump but gave it one last go and it was working fine. Back in conservatory!
Thanks little repair ghost! Wondering if he can do my boring house decorating for me. Wouldn't it be nice to go downstairs one morning and find all the painting finished.
PS It's happened again! My pedometer wasn't working on my walk yesterday. Even shaking it hard didn't cause any change in the reading. Today it's ok!! Thanks again repair ghost!
Sitting in conservatory with my little puppet parrot listening to Dean Martin CD. Probably best singer ever, wish my Karaoke group wasn't suspended due to lockdown, I'd be singing a few of his songs. What a shame great people die and utter arseholes live on. If I had my way I'd steal the years from all the crappy people to keep the good ones going forever.
Is it so impossible? These days they can get DNA from Ancient Egyptians and there are continual advances in genetic engineering. They managed to recreate Dinosaurs at Jurassic Park after all, so would it be so difficult to take the bodies of useless or annoying people and turn them into the brilliant people of the past?
What, Mr Parrot? Jurassic Park wasn't real? Come on, stop pulling my leg.
Some hope for the future?
Islam is a backward religion that, in so many countries, imposes laws based on the supposed sayings of their "prophet" instead of those based on reality and the needs of human nature. On the other hand, Christianity was at least as bad a few centuries ago and changes happened remarkably quickly, so Islam may become more progressive as time goes by.
Nice to see some things are already changing. The UAE has implemented reforms including legalising sex outside marriage and scrapping reduced sentences for those committing honour crimes. The UAE and Bahrain now have a deal with Israel and are not the only Arab nations to reach some degree of accord with Israel. Maybe more due to fear of Iran but breaking from the likes of Hamas is an indication that Islamic links are not the top priority. Tunisia is also more liberal than many Arab states with over a quarter of its politicians being women. Even Saudi Arabia is slowly becoming a little more liberal. There are also some predominantly Muslim states, like Bosnia, Albania and Indonesia (outside of Aceh) that do not have laws based on religion . True, Islam is going backwards in some countries, most notably Turkey under that arsehole Erdogan, but hopefully things will gradually improve just as they did with Christianity.
PS A lot depends on increasing prosperity, religious fervour tends to decline as real life improves. Who needs god when they can afford an Ipad?
PPS Those accords with Israel were brokered by Trump as the photo shows. Funny how he never gets credit for anything.
More Art Crap
More Crap 1
More Crap 2
If you were granted one wish by an evil almighty being, if you could just say "Destroy XXX" and all of XXX would be gone from the world what would you choose?
Keys would be a good choice. If all keys, in every sense of the word, became useless, people would be locked out of or inside their houses and other properties, unable to access safes/cars/computers, use keyboards etc. Loss of those tiny things would pretty well wreck the world.
Mind you, Timpsons etc. would do quite well out of it.
Bloody comets and meteors and things!
We are rarely lucky with seeing astral events, whether meteor showers, comets, blood moons, eclipses, flying saucers or whatever. Crappy weather, too late at night to be arsed, forgotten all about it until too late etc. Couldn't see any sign of that Comet Neowise the other night, too low I think and couldn't be arsed to go to the top of the hill.
Fecking viruses, do summit useful for a change
Darn bugs! A Zika type virus that, instead of shrinking brains, gave ladies Steatopygia would be great. Oh yeh, and now those bloody Chinks have brought back the plague! Still, maybe we could get a variation of that too, where the buboes were much bigger, resembling big boobs.
Big bums and big boob-like buboes next to big boobs Fantastic!
Looks like the government is finally taking notice of the US with regard to Huawei being involved in providing the UK with 5G technology. About time.
Given their actions in Hong Kong that violate the agreement with the UK, their claims on Taiwan, their increasingly aggressive actions in the China Seas, their lies about the Corona Virus, their world domination in supplying counterfeit goods and the abnormally high proportion of all Chinese goods which are dangerous or faulty, who the hell should trust the Chinese?
Why can't we make these things ourselves?
Given my low state at the mo, I brought a cheap E-cigarette from my local store expecting it would be a waste of money, as I've never found they had any effect before. Wow! It actually gives me quite a hit for a couple of minutes! I'd better keep away from the stairs after using it.
Didn't check where it was made before I'd used it for a little while. China! Bollux! We still make aircraft and cars and computer chips, so Is it really so difficult to make an E-cigarette in the UK? Better watch out, ever more non-existent readers of bloggoth , it might be a plot by Huwei to take over the diminishing xoggoth brain. It may not be long before the above post is deleted and replaced by one praising the open and honest Chinese government!
Given the nature of so many Chinese goods it could be worse than that!
Time we Stopped This
Yet more people injured in an attack by an asylum seeker in Glasgow about a week after three men were randomly stabbed to death by an asylum seeker in Reading. That matches the number of murders by right wing extremists in the last ten years! This year alone, we have had over 2000 illegal migrants entering the UK via the channel alone and social services in Kent are at risk of being overwhelmed.
To repeat a xoggoth mantra yet again. Human rights are one thing, but should the rights of some override the rights of others? In the absence of the liberal lefty magic money tree to provide luxury living conditions and 24 hour support to these people, their presence is a burden and sometimes a risk for British citizens, many of whom could do with more support as well. It's unfortunate that some are unlucky enough to live in poor or repressive countries or be affected by wars and conflicts but should those of us in better off countries have to share the entire burden? We only have one life to live.
And is it always the case that these people (in the absence of that liberal lefty magic money tree) are better off? Obviously anything is better than living in a war zone but many escaping poverty appear to have unrealistic ideas of what their new life will be like. It isn't easy for someone of low skilled background to climb the ladder in the UK whatever their background and this failure may result in resentment. The Manchester Arena bombing that killed 22 people was carried out by the son of asylum seekers.
But leaving aside these "racist" and "far right" attitudes, does a UN convention dating from 1951 still make sense in a much more densely populated world where travel is far easier? Ten percent of the world's population lives in extreme poverty and many are affected by conflicts or repression. The developed world cannot open the doors to all of them, a no borders policy would probably collapse major economies and drive a massive increase in tensions. Different cultures with conflicting views in close proximity has driven most of the world's conflict throughout history.
The number of people we do take in is a small proportion of those who genuinely are in need of help, especially when there are major conflicts in progress as in Syria. Maybe it would be more sensible to have a new convention where the major powers cooperate to provide safe zones in such situations. In general perhaps we should review trade policies, see if there are better ways to boost third world economies with cooperation and loan policies that benefit both sides rather than tick box poorly overseen foreign aid policies.
Was sitting in a nice place under the trees with loony lady today, eating me lunch. Slightly spoiled by a lot of loud squawking, I assumed by crows.
Or was it? Been some worrying news recently about the effect of global warming in the Arctic circle. Temperatures of over 38'C have been recorded. Could it be that penguins are fleeing the extreme heat and migrating to the UK in droves? Hope not, we have enough problems with Seagulls nicking peoples' sandwiches and Emperor Penguins are far bigger!
Tried to point out the couple of obvious flaws in that but the old git won't listen.
Make the world go away
Had enough! First it was that Brexit thing. Look, if some of you people don't like Brexit, why not just eat Cornflakes or Wheetabix instead? Then it was the Cov... something or other, forget what. Boring! Now we have all this crap about BLM. Personally I like Bums Like Melons, fuss over nothing. Anyway, here's latest bloggoth youtube video.
The slavery issue
Maybe, given all the controversy over the UK's history of slavery, it would be a good idea to make everyone spend 6 months as a slave after they leave school so that our society can acquire a deeper understanding of what it was like. I could certainly do with someone to do my boring house decorating for me, although that is not my motive for suggesting it of course.
Brilliant xoggoth solutions to racism
In the wake of all these darn BLM protests, it is not just statues and street names that are under threat. Some TV series, Little Britain, The Mighty Boosh and The League of Gentlemen, have been pulled by Netflix because they use the offensive blackface.
That's an idea! Governments could eliminate racial perceptions by forcing everyone to have their faces dyed green! Then everybody would look much the same. Nobody could accuse the police of targetting minorities then. Another factor that distinguishes people by ethnicity is their names. Peoples' surnames date back centuries, isn't it high time we updated them anyway? Surnames like Smith, Patel, Abieyuwa, Khatri, Wang or whatever can make it easy to discriminate on job applications. The new surnames could have similar origins, be based on occupation for example. First names could use a long ethnicity-neutral string of random characters. We could also call a halt to sexual and transgender prejudices by getting rid of Mr. Mrs. Miss. etc. and prefix all names with Burp or something. Burp Y1sh`VYhb17< Carpet-saleman and Burp P1IsaWQhb2Ql Taxidriver would probably get on great!
PS Above would be a good start but still lots of other sources of division to sort, including Religion. Maybe we could get Christians, Muslims, Sikhs, Hindus etc to come together and form a single religion. Yes, there are big differences to overcome but they do have one very, very important thing in common. They are all utter fucking bollux!
PPS Trouble is, green faces might be a problem if some aliens visit from another galaxy.
Peaceful protest that does not unduly impact the rest of us is, and should be, a right in any democratic country. It is also reasonable to question whether the UK should still have public statues and other memorials to those like Colston who acquired their wealth through slavery, or those like Rhodes who vigorously pursued colonialism to impose the rule of an Anglo Saxon race that he considered superior. It is certainly not acceptable to engage in violence against police officers who are only doing their job, to damage property or to destroy historic monuments. There have been many truly horrible people since the birth of mankind and we should not be honouring them, but that does not mean we should be throwing away our heritage and our history, otherwise we will never learn.
Why are all the arguments on these issues so one-sided? Every problem minorities have is down to the racism of nasty white people. Anyone who suggests that they might have some problems within their own cultures is called racist. We are not permitted to suggest that their performance has any correlation with those of the nations of their ancestry. Every fault, even when there is no obvious correlation with racism, such as high levels of drop out from university, is the product of white prejudice. This is not anti-racism, it is just inverted racism.
Why does everyone (assuming they are white of course) have to be a perfect human being to deserve any respect? Sure, some like Churchill or Nelson may have had some racist opinions or even benefited indirectly from the slave trade as many wealthy men would have at that time, but the main point is that those things are not what they rightly deserve to be honoured for. Many people would not even know about these obscure aspects of their lives if these "liberals" did not keep digging them up. The long list of characters whose statues/memorials these people want removed includes famous names like Robert Peel, a Conservative prime minister who took Britain forward with liberal reforms on crime and justice, safety standards and workers' rights. Why do they want his statue removed!? Because his father opposed abolition of the slave trade. We are supposed to be responsible for actions of our forebears now?
Are we expected to throw away all our own culture, heritage and history, to have familiar places changed, just to suit the demands of those who came here for their own benefit? If you migrate to a country is it really so unreasonable to accept the culture and history of that country? The mayor of London Sadiq Khan is now starting a review in London, not just of statues, but all sorts of things like street names or names of public buildings, with the intent of replacing any with connection to the slave trade. Statues of prominent slave traders are one thing, but what is the point of changing names of streets just because they are named after people from centuries ago who almost nobody knows anything about? Surely better to concentrate on today's problems. And what about the inconvenience to residents, having to notify every authority, company and person on their list? Could be very significant costs for businesses and presumably the Post Office and other delivery companies will have to allow for a wrong name for years. Watch out Londoners, don't get lost! You might have a job finding Carnaby Street after it has been renamed Ayubo Oligo Street after some obscure Zulu chief who fought off British oppression. Before conquering and enslaving some other tribe possibly, but we can't mention that!
These protests in the UK, far from doing anything to reduce racism, have greatly increased it. The UK, by international standards, has always been a fairly tolerant nation, even a poll by the right wing Daily Express indicated that a majority thought the statue of slave trader Colston should not be on public display. But now, when you look online, it is clear that there is a great deal of opposition to these totally over the top demands by BLM supporters. Many who do not normally support racist views must be rolling their eyes and wondering why the hell our nation inflicted these problems upon itself.
Eeeeh. How to get interest in life going again?
The only thing I like doing these days is walking. Can't seem to find any enthusiasm for anything else. Hardly doing any blogging or cartooning or writing silly short stories. Every book I start to read or TV program I start to watch is abandoned because it seems like crap to me. Tried learning guitar for the umpteenth time in about 50 years and soon gave up for the umpteenth time.
Maybe there's some other things I used to do that I could get into again. Used to be an electronics hobbiest, but not sure standing over a bench soldering bits really appeals anymore. Art? Used to do a lot of odd rather Daliesque paintings, or "art" (as in bollux) stuff, like my Deerskull Swastika. Not sure I've got the imagination these days.
Dunno. Maybe go back further and rediscover my childhood interests. When I was about twelve I used to like looking at insects and things through microscopes but do I want to splash out on an expensive microscope when I'm not sure I'd be interested? What did I like doing as a little kid? Digging holes in the garden mostly. Hmmm, sounds like hard work! Maybe go back further! That's it! I'll start again from the beginning. A teddy bear won't cost much!
Give 'im a couple of years and the senile old git will be like that anyway. Let's hope he won't expect me to change his nappy.
Who needs Ad Blockers?
Was using an ad blocker for ages but they are more trouble than they are worth these days. So many sites detect them and show a pop up telling you to turn it off before you can view the content that you were searching for.
I've found a much better approach, just make use of targetted advertising. You've probably noticed that, if you search for some product online, many of the adverts you see on websites afterwards are related to that search. So, just do a search for "sexy knickers" or similar before viewing online news sites and the ads down the sides show scantily clad ladies with some nice bottoms! Not annoying at all!
PS You may find skim yourself skimming through the pages and scarcely reading what you were looking for. Still, on online news sites at the moment, that's hardly a downside!
Culture for aliens
So, ok, what does this mean then?
UW@gX1XsHWAyHV8vcRE0bBEiYj@gUVkhcREpcBE0`VXgbmYlcGUpbF8@VFklcVklbxE@cVo/HV8vX10lbxEpaxE0`VXgalouYRE0bBE/clcmYmL< UVklHWQs`l8ncBEha1TgXmMybGg/HWAmHWA1cWMh`FYvcmPgY2AycWYuYh/< TGLgcW@gcVIrYhEhb14/HVInXloucGTgXhE/YlHgbFbgcWMvclMsYmPs Pl8kKREidhEvbWEvcFou`B/gYl8kHWUoYl4@nP<<
What? You can't translate that? Maybe just as well, else you could hack into my bank account. It's part of a Shakespeare play, coded using the same home-made program I use to protect my passwords.
Actually, it's almost identical to the language used by the Senoteffaotexrs in the Turdoscabopulous Galaxy, so they could probably hack my bank account if they were on Earth. Fortunately the bus service from that galaxy was pulled last July as it was not commercially viable.
Yes, I'm posting total bollux, what else is new? It is part of my master plan to get me imagination going again. bloggoth will in future contain nothing but totally meaningless crap.
PS Not to say I won't post a bit of stuff about BORING f* politics, BORING f* virus, BORING f* brexit etc from time to time but there is no contradiction there, that is all meaningless crap too, people just don't realise it.
My little puppet parrot is in the conservatory listening to Chicane. I would post a Youtube link but can't be arsed. Can't be arsed should be a philosophy.
Or maybe a religion, great idea! I could make a fortune, like Ron Hubbard. Instead of expecting people to spend a lot of time and energy looking for meaning in their life, I could provide a much easier option. We would not need to believe in existence of a supreme being for whom which is no evidence whatever, believe in the word of some deluded and/or power seeking prophet, confess our sins, pray every day, have fasting days or avoid meat on Fridays, go to to mass every Sunday or follow a set of rules that are contradictory to human nature. There is only one core mantra that followers of the new bloggoth religion will need to embrace - "CAN'T BE ARSED" Don't give a damn about anything, just lie around, do fuck all all day. Great for lazy pople and there are plenty of them.
Maybe more active sorts would prefer the "WHO GIVES A FUCK? religion. Do whatever you want to do. Go out, get pissed or drugged up, shag a donkey or whatever takes your fancy, shoot people at random, crap wherever you feel like, do whatever you want! Other people? Nature? The world? Bollux to all of it. It's your life, nothing else matters.
Sick to death of the torrent of criticism of the government recently. Yes, there are things that should have been done better, but is it that simple in a crisis like this when even the experts have different views? It's all so easy when parties are in opposition to pretend that they would have done everything so much better. Yet look at all the major cockups Labour made when in power - selling off our gold reserves at rock bottom prices, the Iraq war, not applying the temporary block on free movement from Eastern Europe that other EU nations did, signing the Maastricht and Lisbon treaty without consulting the British publlc, taxes that resulted in a massive drop in pension values, Brown's continual tinkerings with corporation tax and his failure to simplify tax for small companies as promised. That's only the major things, doubt there were many things they did perfectly.
And that was a fairly sensible centrist Labour government, if that lunatic Corbyn had won the election we'd have been quequing for toiilet paper before most Brits has even heard of Covid 19. He was an admirer of Hugo Chavez FFS! Is it possible to be any more deluded?
What annoys me even more is the contempt these leftists display for ordinary voters. They are all cretins, stupid, thick as mince etc. Isn't the left wing supposed to be about standing up for the ordinary working man? Yet taking account of what they think on important issues like immigration is not democracy, it's "populism" Still, nothing new there, what far left government hasn't been just a corrupt dictatorship to which ordinary people mean nothing?
What's dead? Probably everything.
Bloggoth quieter than a piece of old chewing gum on the pavement. What's dead? Is it imagination of enthusiasm or both?
Or is there any difference? There are so many boring programs on TV with nothing new in them. I like spooky horror stories, or used to, but there is never anything original. Somebody is walking along a dark corridor saying "Is anybody there?", and you see a dark shadow flit across behind them. Jeez, not as if that scene hasn't been done a million times. Or some girl is running through a dark wood looking behind her, and naturally she trips and falls, like she always does. There's a dark flash and a loud noise followed by a scream. Looks like it, whatever it is, got her, just like the other whatever they ares in other similar films got the other girls like her.
Yet these authors are still being paid to write these scripts and millions of pounds are being spent on making the films. There's little that's orginal in most of them so cross out imagination, what they do have is the desire or enthusiasm to get on and do stuff. Same with so many artists or "artists", whether famous, or just ordinary people pursuing their hobby, they keep churning out the same old stuff and are happy to do so.
Not sure whether we at bloggoth have lost our imagination, or it's the enthusiasm that's on its last legs. We think of things to do and then can't be bothered as they don't seem very interesting. It all disappears into the bloggoth swearing cess pit of can't be arsed along with most other things at the moment. We never watch the TV news live these days, just record it and play it later, uttering obscenities and skipping everything to do with this F* virus bollox. Missed today's news yourself and would like to read it here on bloggoth? Here you are... Fuck, fast forward, bollocks, fast forward, shit, fast forward, arseholes, fast forward...... end. There you are, much better than the original wasn't it? And it only wasted 15 seconds of your time. Now you can go and do something useful, have a wank or whatever.
Beware of the bloggoth swearing cess pit of can't be arsed, it is out there and growing bigger by the day. Soon our universe will be sucked in.
Real ghost stories
Aren't ghosts supposed to haunt the place they died in? If so why doesn't Elvis haunt a toilet? Some other famous people died on the loo too, like Lenny Bruce, Judy Garland and Catherine the Great. Cardiac arrests are not uncommon while having a poo, so ghosts should not be uncommon in public loos. How come we never see them? Probably because they don't exist!
Hang on though! Could it be that spirits are banished by a side effect of toiler cleaner? Why can't supermarkets make profits by selling spirit banishers, evil demon cleaners etc to cater to the superstitious? It would be in the latters' interests too, competitive supermarket products will be cheaper and also much safer. Maybe they won't work but if they stop people being ripped off by phoney shamans etc. there is still a benefit.
I can see the adverts now. "Kills 99% of all household evil spirits"
PS Kills? Hang on, they are already dead - I meant banishes!
When I go on me walks I like looking at the countryside. The trees, even of the same species, are all so different. Height, spread, shape and number of branches etc, you never see two that look similar.
Wouldn't it be much more interesting if people were like that?
Not so bad so far
Annoying that couldn't go on holiday with loony lady friend this year, and heaven knows when we'll be able to, but managing to survive this F* lockdown thing without getting any more loony and fed up than I already was.
Used to drive miles just to go walking in different places but, now I'm only driving 15 minutes or less, I'm managing to find all sorts of interesting little local places that I never bothered with before. There's various little trails round edges or along streams of publicly accessible woods where I've previously stuck to the footpaths. Those deer deserve a medal for their services! There's also a lot of land round here which I assume is privately owned but has no signs or fences and often has tracks that locals obviously use.
Funny how one can adapt to these things. I wonder, if we were banned from going out of our houses at all, could I still manage to find places to explore?
We commanded god and he obeyed
That god thing. Load of old crap I think but who can be sure? Still, if he is real, there's one good thing about him, he knows how to state his laws succinctly. The Ten Commandments in just ten succinct sentences.
But hang on, they are not very thorough are they? They only cover 2 sins relating to sexual offences, adultery and lusting after your neighbour's wife. What about sexually abusing little boys, is that ok? Maybe if that had been included in the list we would not have had so many scandals involving priests and other religious leaders.
The commandments are also very vaguely defined. Look up "Thou shalt not commit adultery" in Wikipedia and you see that there are a lot of different opinions about what it means. For example, if an unmarried bloke bonks a married woman, he is not being unfaithful, so is it just her who is condemned to hell for adultery?. *Note 1 Seems a bit unfair when he is equally to blame for the sin.
Yet another argument against the existence of god. Why would an almighty being define all his laws in a short document that a ten year old could knock up in 20 minutes? Imagine how long and complex the definition of even one of these commandments would be if produced by the UK government and how many millions of pounds it would have cost the UK tax payer. I wanted to re-position a flue pipe in my house once and the safety regulations ran to 37 pages! Of course the version he provided Moses had to be brief, given that they were inscribed on stone tablets that the poor old bloke had to carry down a mountain, but there's no excuse for not updating them as technology evolved.
We have therefore been in contact with God and told him *Note 2 to reissue a new set of commandments in a form which provides much greater clarity. It has yet to pass initial scrutiny by The Council of Angels, but we have received the first draft. The full 2301 page legal document containing the new list of 978 commandments is now available to read on God's new website. For the non existent readers of bloggoth, we have published a small sub section below relating to what was commandment 6, now commandment 424, regarding adultery.
A commandment to ensure adherence to rules regarding marriage and all other sexual relationships in consideration of the recommendations of spiritual leaders and people with more sense.
[3rd May 2020]
To be enacted by Almighty God with the advice and consent of The Council of Angels as follows:
- Section 1 Definition of adultery
Engagement in sexual intercourse or any other sexual transaction (Clause A), subject to certain exclusions (Clause B) by one or more individuals (Clause C) who have a committed relationship with a partner (Clause D) in circumstances that may cause emotional distress. (Clause E).
- Clause A
- A sexual transaction shall include normal sexual intercourse or any other action of a sexually related nature, whether oral, up the bum, general groping or any other activity, such as fanny whipping or being peed on, which provides a sexual thrill. See appendix H, section 1 for the full list. This may not include some perversions which are very rare, such as sticking your thingy in Victorian typewriters while typing oooooooooooh.
- Clause B
- A sexual transaction does not include an affectionate or polite hug, kiss or other physical contact of a non sexual nature, provided that neither participant is secretly getting a sexual thrill out of it. A sexual thrill is permitted if unintentional, for example, if a man gets a hard on while greeting his mother in law, provided he had no previous intention of doing so.
- Clause C
- Individuals includes those of any sex, sexuality or gender, whether physical or self-defined, of any sentient species, including lady pigs for example, who may have awareness of relationships. Individuals outside the relationship are not required to meet this definition, for example, it is still sinful for a man to bonk a garden snail if it is likely to upset his wife. See appendix A section 2 for a full list of all 57 genders accepted by the UN Council of Human Rights. Note this document may be frequently updated.
- Clause D
- A committed relationship is based on intention and a wish for fidelity by all involved partners and is not required to be legally defined by a marriage certificate or in any other way. A partner is not required to adhere to the commandment if he/she/it/whatever has made no such commitment and has not falsely given the impression that he/she/it/whatever has.
- Clause E
- Adultery does not qualify as a sin if the other partner is happy with it, for example, consensual threesomes, sexually permissive couples or simply if he/she/it/whatever couldn't give a shit what the other he/she/it/whatever gets up to as they really don't give a toss about them any more.
Note 1: Sounds good, let's stick with that definition.
Note 2: We were introduced to him by our old friend Satan at his last goat bottom kissing party. Many may not be aware that God and Satan are pals these days as it was deemed no longer necessary for Satan to tempt mankind into evil deeds. We manage perfectly well on our own.
How to fill one's time?
Live in nice area and go walking every day for an hour or so, 2 or 3 times a week with loony old lady friends *Note. Apart from them, only got me little puppet parrot for company. What to do the rest of the time? Can't get on with the house decorating that I started before all this bollux as can't get the stuff I need, so finding boring things to do apart from walking. Made a garden storage unit out of bits of old greenhouse I had under the decking and now can't think of any use for it.
Today's dull project, made a long pole thing so I can stick a little remote camera on it and check out my gutters without having to climb a rickety ladder. Boring! Perhaps I can find another use for an 18 foot pole with a camera on it. Why not stick it over the fence and upskirt the lady neighbour next door? Perhaps not too exciting, as she's in her nineties, but these are desperate times. The plus side is that she and her husband are so deaf and poor sighted that they probably wouldn't notice and I won't get arrested.
Note: We keep the required distance apart. Not that we've ever been the -6" that I'd like.
More like -3". According to that sow at the local pig farm anyway, and she should know.
Another one down
All the old bloggers. Used to be a full 13 links in the left list and over the years they've just disappeared. Now Old Rightie's blog seems to have gone. No more Brexity rants about Brexit to read. I used to thing Brexit was BORING until this new BORING thing came along.
No! We are not going to say anything else about that F* C... thing! When the entire F* world is talking about it, with even the "experts" saying different things, what is the point? Of course, anything that the infinitely wise xoggoth did say would be 100.00000000000 (recurring) % correct, but as nobody else would realise that, there would still be no point.
Stuff about, er, what was it again?, has also totally overwhelmed the news channels. We usually record the BBC news so we can watch it while eating dinner, but now "watching" is just fuck!, fast forward, fuck!, fast forward, fuck!, fast forward, fuck!, fast forward, fuck!, fast forward, delete, watch The Simpsons. Nothing else serious to comment on then either, so, from now on, if we can be a*d to post anything at all here, it will be
So what else is new?
Stuff in the papers about the government using Zoom to have video cabinet meetings although some researchers say it is not secure enough for government secrets. Could it be used to connect to other programs on Boris's computer? A good opportunity there if so.
PS Yes I've actually got round to cutting my own hair as was approaching Jimmy Savile mode. Looks even more F* awful in real life.
Governed by IDIOTS!
Now the government is suggesting we may not not be allowed out at all:
So why not deal with that minority you twat??? What is the point in stretching police resources to deal with everyone, including sensible sorts who only go walking in places with few people and keeping well clear of anyone they see?
The post I said I'd do before today is out
Made a resolution yesterday that I would post some bollux on here today if it kills me. I am an old fart of his word. So here it is:
Made the obligatory PHP update and now any bloggoth comments have lots of F* warning messages about a deprecated database management system! Message to non-existent commenters: Please ignore until I can be arsed to do something about it.
Why do they have to keep making all these F* changes? bloggoth would work perfectly ok in FORTRAN IV.
I will post some bollux on here tomorrow if it kills me! Assuming bloggoth still works. F* hosters want me to upgrade PHP version.
Piss off! We at bloggoth ain't scared of a little tennis ball with ice cream cones sticking out.
PS: Do a Google of this damn thing and select images. Isn't it odd how there are so many totally different looking versions of this species. All a con in my opinion.
Hmmm - not so bad yet
This darn virusy thing! *Note Me investments have dropped massively but I was never going to spend them anyway. Hopefully they will be back up again by the time I snuff it and my sons inherit it all. All me volunteer and social things have halted but just farting about in the house and garden doing silly things ain't too bad so far and fortunately I can still go for me afternoon walk. Let's hope they don't decide to lock us all in our cupboards.
Note: Which I do not intend to mention again! BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORING!
Hurrah! Mr Chernobyl is back in blogland again. Geuss a lot of people will be doing bloggy stuff again when there's bugger all else to do.
As long as it's cheap
Never find a woman who wants a bit of nudgy-wink at my age. Maybe I should buy myself a blow up sex doll. You can get them for less than £15.
PS Maybe I should just get this one.
Yeh again - old bloke again!
The Roman Catholic Church has joined up with IBM and Microsoft to work on the ethics of artificial intelligence. Microsoft president Brad Smith admitted some people may "think of us as strange bedfellows" at the signing event.
Robots and little boys then - strange bedfellows indeed.
Why are these people so f* stupid?
Boris Johnson has said the Corona virus outbreak was now the government's top priority and that he will chair a meeting of the government's Cobra emergency committee on Monday.
As usual Labour has rushed in to criticise, questioned why he was waiting until next week, a whole 3 days, to hold the meeting. Oh, right, that's normal for a serious meeting isn't it? Just get everyone together immediately with no time for proper preparation just to give the impression you're doing something. Just like the flooding problem in the North East. Forget any serious discussions on what to do, just get up there and wander about shaking your head, looking sad and making promises you probably won't keep, that's what really helps.
It is obvious from the discussions about why Labour lost the election that they do not have a clue why sensible voters had no faith in them. Because they had no grasp of reality, promising magic solutions to this, that and the other with no sensible proposals as to how they could meet the huge costs without collapsing the economy.
“Our latest defeat was entirely predictable and predicted,' he said in his latest savage criticism of his successor. “We went into the election with a leader with a -40 per cent approval rating on political ground chosen by our opponents and a manifesto promising the earth but from a planet other than Earth.’”
Like many, I did not like Blair as PM for two main reasons, 1) getting us involved in the stupid Iraq War and 2) his waving in of huge numbers of unskilled migrants. However, he did have some plus points, a very big one was overseeing a solution to the conflict in Northern Ireland. Since he has left office he has said some sensible things on Islamic extremism and a need for migrants to integrate more.
Been on a volunteering thing removing Gorse from a local heathland area of nearly 6,500 acres. Place is full of pits and little ponds, possibly result of historic iron workings or WW2 bombs. Lots of it is very tussocky and covered in Gorse, Bracken etc. so most people stick to the footpaths.
If you were a serial killer it would be a great place to hide your corpses. Too lazy to murder people myself but maybe I'll advertise a serial killers' body disposal service on the dark web. I was thinking say £550 per corpse. + VAT obviously, if the business went well.
Learning from birdies
Think we could learn a lot of lessons from animals. A broader one would be to follow our instincts more rather than pursue unrealistic ideals that ignore human nature and actually cause more problems than they are supposed to solve.
On a sillier note, was walking with loony lady friend today and listening to some bird calls. They tend to be very repetitive for many species but who cares when the sound is lovely? Why don't us humans just walk up to other people and say "Hello, hello, hello" They smile at us and say "Hello, hello, hello" back. Then we say "Hello, hello, hello" ...and so on and on.
You wouldn't get any of the tensions that human conversations often can cause. And wouldn't it be so much easier not to have to think of something interesting to talk about?
PS And sensible Chimpanzees recognize each other by their bottoms.
Where have all the old farts gone?
Where's that old fart gone who was always posting crap on here?
Dunno, think we'll have to take over and run this blog ourselves.
Good idea! Right! What shall we post today? Any ideas?
Here we go again
Another new coronovirus is spreading in China and this is decidedly worrying given the large number of Chinese tourists we get in the UK. Went to Kew Gardens yesterday and passed loads of them. Hope this is not going to be Black Death 2. It was the Chinese who gave us the first version.
Various other diseases have crossed from animals to humans in recent decades and two major ones came from China, Avian influenza, probably from chickens, and Sars, probably caught from bats. The source of this new virus infection is not yet proven but one possibility is snakes.
For heavens sake, you lot, if you must bonk bats, chickens or snakes, at least wear a condom!
The reason we are never supposed to mention
A journey that should have taken about an hour and a quarter took me more than twice that today thanks to all the traffic jams.
Delays like that are practically the norm these days and it is absurd to pretend that our crowded roads, and many other problems, are not related to the population increase due to mass immigration. Between 2001 and 2016 around 82% of the increase in population of the UK was down to net migration and births to migrant parents. Some towns have very high migrant numbers; in Slough 39% are foreign born and even previous migrants are getting fed up with the increase in recent years.
When will the stupid liberals stop turning any discussion about immigration into a racial issue and have enough grasp of simple mathematics to see just what the big expansion of the population due to mass immigration is doing to quality of life in the UK?
If you could use a time machine to go back and stop something from being invented, what would it be? I would definitely uninvent the straight line. Then there would be no more boring rectangular architecture, buildings would be interesting and varied in shape like the things nature creates.
Topic: Bad ideas Comment here. Comments so far: 0
Yeh - old bloke again!
PS Been to her house to see the nice old lady who used to run the writer's club a few times recently. She's back in hospital now, going downhill and unlikely to be out this time. What a shame death is so impartial. Why can't the crappy people, like Germy Carbuncle, die young and transfer their remaining years to nice people? We need a crappiness prediction tool which can assess people as soon as they are born. If they rate high, we stick a spike in their brain and transfer their years into the lifetime pool to give to nice people.
Update: Bah. She's gone! Poor old Sheila. But all the crappy people are still here. Mr Sheep! Send me a gun!
V. Short Story
Got an email from Mr Sheep suggesting we should do something Christmasy on our (his almost, mine totally) unread blogs, so... After we've read out our prepared stories at the writers' group, we are given 5 minutes to come up with a brief tale. This month's title was Good King Wenceslas. The story present a more accurate picture than the carol of what powerful people are really like.
Good King Wenceslas looked out. There was nothing to see. He shouted "Hither page! What day is it today?". "It's the Feast of Fred Flintstone, my king" replied the page. "Oh well, that explains it" said the king, and he went back to watching television.
He couldn't be arsed to look out the window for a few days, just stayed in bed, watching his favourite soaps on catchup TV and eating doughnuts.
The next day he looked out, still didn't see anything and shouted again "Page! What day is it today?". "It's the Feast of Sonic the Hedgehog, my king" replied the page. "So when is the Feast of Stephen?" said the king. "That was three weeks ago my king, when you were in bed all day watching old comedies on Netflix"
Darn it , thought the king, It's Christmas and I'm supposed to look charitable. Maybe I should go and see how that poor man is doing. He wasn't going to walk in this deep and crisp and even snow. "Servant! Get me my carriage!. And bring me flesh and bring me wine to feed the man."
When they got to the poor man's house underneath the mountain it was too late; he'd been dead from starvation for at least a week. Sod it, thought the king, I couldn't have helped him anyway; I ate all the flesh and wine as well as the Christmas pudding on the way here. May as well get back. Wonder if there's any good films on Amazon Prime tonight.
Hmmm. Dunno why but had a couple of emails requesting that the crappy xoggoth website provides a link to a business website. Never click on email links without checking but it's a perfectly legit. company, selling angling products in the US. Sure a link from the xoggoth crap website would really boost their sales! Why would anyone think this site has any relevance?
There is a lot of fake info out there, and it's not all Russian stuff related to major political figures. At one time I found a site that listed my little business's net worth as over a million, although the true figure is about £15k and falling! Maybe instead of bothering to post anything on here, i'll just build the reputation of xoggoth.org by putting lots of false posts on other websites about how fantastic it is! If anyone actually visited it they'd see the true 100% crappiness, but then they probably never would. What percentage of people ever actually look at political party websites to see the official policies, as opposed to believing whatever crap the press trots out? Near zero I reckon.
Hadn't seen him for a while and thought he'd given up, but spotted him 3 times in last few weeks. Latest a few days ago. Well done old bloke!
Religion is a get out for everything. How is it that company directors and managers, parliament and other institutions are always being criticised for being unrepresentative, for not having enough women, gays, minorities, disabled people etc, yet nobody objects when the gods of the major religions, Christianity, Judaism, Islam, are all white males? Other major figures are mostly men too, all the apostles, Muhamed and all the major Hebrew prophets were men.
Not good enough. It is high time that the hereafter was more representative of our wonderful multicultural, multi sexual, multi gender, multi-everything society. The gods need to be black, disabled, gay and transgender. And while we are at it, let's not leave out other living creatures. Why are there no squirrel gods or godesses?
Crappy sketch from Tuesday's art group.
PS Although In Da Vinci's depiction of the Last Supper, John, that one to the right of Jesus, looks definitely trans. Well done Leo! On the other hand, the only guy who looks black in the picture, 3rd to the right, is Judas! Institutional racism, Leonardo!
Trying to stick to a healthy diet. One of my favourite fruits is apricots. Wonder why.
Was watching Natural world on BBC about Hippos. They flick their tails while they are having a shit and scatter it everywhere to mark their territory. Why can't we do that instead of having to fork out a fee to the Land Registry Office?
I really hate it when I go into a shop and find I can't get what I want because loads of the aisles are dedicated to selling Christmas crap. It starts earlier every year. Halloween and Easter are problems too.
Why can't they just combine all these stupid celebrations into one and get them over with quickly? Santa Claus could be a giant zombie who sucks children's brains and turns them into Easter eggs with the help of the Easter Bunny ghost.
Physical form? Bah, what does that matter?
Now it isn't just our gender that is a matter of choice, we can "choose" our race as well. Sounds a bit contradictory, if we choose to be black then surely we'd want to black up but isn't that racist?
Still, if we can ignore the physical realities and define ourselves in any way we like there will be plus sides. Overweight people don't need to slim down, they can just identify as slim and keep on scoffing as much as they want. The next time I get arrested for running around sniffing the butts of passing ladies I can say I identify as a dog and will be released without charge to avoid infringing my 'ooman rights.
Hate getting old but could be worse
Think you drop off a bit of a cliff at 70. Can't touch alcohol anymore. (A life without vodka! Aaah kill me!) Don't think I can run up my steep hill like I used to and most importantly, seemed to have lost my enthusiasm for everything most of the time. Still, on the physical side, could be much worse. At least I can still dance like a loony and it sometimes gets me hugs and occasional kisses from younger ladies (but nowt more unfortunately). Appearance ain't too bad either. I was looking up some songs to sing at my Karaoke group on Monday and had a look at Johny Cash's last performance. Fuck me! He was 18 months younger than me when he snuffed it. Looked about 20 years older! Had all sorts of health problems too.
5G and other looming threats
We at bloggoth live in a part of England that is rather renowned for its new age views, we have a lot of people making money by providing spiritual guidance, weird healing remedies etc. Plenty of strange religions too, there's a Rudolf Steiner school nearby and Ron Hubbard probably chose to live here because there's a lot off well off nut jobs whose wealth he could tap into.
Dropped in at a local cafe with shelves chock full of loony leaflets and picked up one about the perils of 5G, how it's supposed to give us cancer etc. Certainly the evidence provided so far is that this is bollux. It probably is but then anyone who absolutely believes what the authorites tell us is as loony as the loonies he denounces. Didn't the government encourage us to buy diesel cars because they were less polluting only to raise the tax on them because they are actually more polluting?
Anyway, what matters is that lots of rich loonies round here will believe 5G is a danger, regardless of evidence. Still in the development stage, as finding cheapest bits of stuff to use in production, but we at bloggoth hope to start selling our 5G radiation shields shortly, only £299 each. We will make a fortune.
PS According to Wikipedia, those who embrace New Age ideas are predominantly from middle and upper-middle-class backgrounds. That doesn't surprise me, there seems to be an inverse correlation of sense with class on so many issues. It's usually the wealthy who embrace idiotic ideals like free immigration without proper checks. The ordinary working class man is more likely to base his views on today's reality, how things affects him.
This month's story was crap so not posting it.
This one, apart from the obvious bits, is pretty much an autobiography.
More Art crap
Gender bending might be a good idea
Used to be just men and women, now we've got all sort of genders, transgenders, gender neutrals, gender fluids, cross genders, non binaries etc. It would actually be a good idea if these variations were not just about just gender identification and sexual preferences but actual factors in reproduction. Instead of a baby being produced as a result of a man fertilising a woman, gender A would have to fertilise gender B, who would then have to be fertilse gender C and so on, up to gender Z, in that exact order, before gender Z could give birth. Just think of all the things that could go wrong, it would be a great way of reducing the human population!
Was just looking for a place on Google Street View and there was an image of a young lady on the road. Needless to say I just had to put the mouse pointer on her bum. Can I get arrested for that?
PS. Is there a Dark Net version of Street View where they use cameras mounted under the van's sills to take upskirt pictures? I'd subscribe to that.
Went to my little art group today. Most of us were painting the bowl of fruit that the Fuhrer had provided. Dull, needed a bit of embelishment.
What is the biggest driver of far right terrorism? The liberal dream world.
All the usual stuff is being trotted out about the recent massacre in El Paso, saying Trump invited it.
The Liberals love to bang on about right wing terrorism and never consider the causes. Most of the wars and conflicts throughout history have not been about colour or race, but have been between groups who live close together but have different, and often conflicting, cultures and do not socially interact. It is inevitable and, frankly, understandable, that people feel resentment against migrant groups who want to lead their society in a different direction, who have cultural practices they regard as wrong, who put the interests of their own people first, who fail to integrate and change the nature of a community or cause unnacceptable pressures on resources such as employment opportunities or low cost housing. Would some of these posh liberals feel the same way if they had the same experiences as ordinary people who live in high migrant areas?
It is human nature that people will feel resentment against others who they feel are having an adverse impact on their lives and with whom they have little or no connection. Unfortunately, it is also human nature that hatred and resentment can grow irrationally in some to embrace those who are not the problem. We see it in the Labour party where opposition to Israel drives anti-semitism, in the UK where law abiding Muslims suffer a spike of abuse after Islamic terrorist incidents, and we have seen it in this incident in El Paso where the largely Hispanic population dates back to the time when it was a part of Mexico and has little to do with recent migration.
Terrible yes, but you won't change human nature by trotting out liberal mantras, far better to work with it. Effective migration controls, allowing in moderate numbers of people who make a major contribution to society, abide by our laws, embrace our main cultural values and are willing and able to integrate would be the best possible solution to racism. It wouldn't matter a damn what race they were. Irrational attacks like the one in El Paso would be much less likely to happen.
The reality is that if we had had Trump and Enoch types in power over the last several decades, right wing terrorism would scarcely exist.
What is this "Kills 99.9% of household germs" thing you see on every cleaner? General purpose, kitchen, bathroom, toilet cleaners, they all say it.
Shouldn't we be worried about that 0.1% that is immune to chlorine and every other germ killing chemical? These germs must be breeding away on our kitchen worktops, lavatories etc. How can we be sure they are not evolving into invincable, unstoppable super-monsters which will take over the world?
Given current crappiness I prefer to avoid thinking about depressing world news any more but sometimes things grab your attention. The Daily Telegraph is saying that we shouldn't have another European head of the IMF due to the fundamental bias.
Absolutely. The next head of the IMF should be a Nigerian. Then struggling nations could solve their monetary crises without having to go through rigorous checks. They would only need to send the IMF £2bn by bank transfer to allow a prince to release his assets and receive £10bn in return.
PS More seriously, the IMF does look like a corrupt EU institution, in all but name.
Darn it. Meant to watch the partial lunar eclipse last night as it was at a convenient time and the skies were clear but forgot.
If I forget to watch some TV program, I can usually find it on catchup TV somewhere, so why can't that F* useless "almighty" god provide a life catchup system so we can go back and do things differently? It would not just be useful for fixing little things like missing your train or forgetting your wife's birthday, (*1) it would also allow people to take responsibility for, and undo, their sins. Much better than sticking them in purgatory for years.
Why is god so incompetent? Perhaps he is not almighty. Or maybe he likes watching people burn in hell because he's actually a ghastly old sadistic pervert! Given that beard I can well believe it.
*1 That's litttle? Believe me, it ain't.
Topic: Useless god Comment here. Comments so far: 0
Others infected by the tired and can't be arsed virus should have the inspiration that I have - old bloke. Hadn't seen him for a few months and thought he had given up but seen him twice in the last fortnight on my occasional trips to town. If that old geezer can still truddle his basket almost 3 miles on steep hills, dressed in his thick woollies and hat even in hot weather, then surely I can be arsed to do a bit of blog that almost nobody reads.
We salute you, old bloke.
PS: Went on a group walk today and a lady I was talking said she regularly sees old bloke too. Definitely same one, she described him and where he was seen.
PPS: Seen him again today 16/07/2019. Not had me dashcam on unfortunately.
Can't be arsed cooking
Now no 1 son has finally left home I have to cook for meself. Boring, but I can't live on a diet of cornflakes and cheese. Got one of those fast cooker things, there are recipes you can just shove stuff in and leave, but I still have to waste time going to shops for spices and things.
Why are flavourings necessary? Flies don't need them, they tend to start visiting a corpse once it's rotted a bit. Clearly it must taste much nicer then. Why can't we do the same? We ferment alcohol after all.
Coming soon, "The xoggoth Easy Cook Book". Recipe one: Take 6 ounces of rump steak, leave outside on the compost heap in the warm sun for a couple of days until tender. Mmm!
More and more people are using food banks these days, all poor struggling souls let down by society of course.
I am not short of cash but why am I not eligible to resort to food banks? It is an unfortunate aspect of my upbringing, not my fault, that I am extremely mean and lazy and can't be arsed to cook for myself. I am at least as deserving as some drug addict!
The Romans were right
And the Greeks, Norse lot etc. Much more sensible when you had separate gods for everything, love, war, death, wine, the sun etc etc.
Sure I am not the only one whose luck is very different in different areas of life. Yesterday I dug out some old storage shelves I used to have in the garage and put them in the shed, They fitted perfectly, to within millimeters. This is typical of DIY for me, everything nearly always fits perfectly with little or no effort. Driving is the complete opposite - I can be on a road with next to no traffic but, as soon as I come to a cyclist, parked car or pothole, there is a stream of cars coming the other way and I have to slow right down or come to a halt, swearing my head off. This cannot be just coincidence, there are clearly gods of DIY and traffic. For reasons unknown I have pleased the first and offended the second.
In all probability there are gods for all the other ordinary little things in life too, gods of gardening, housework, watching TV, using computers and phones, unblocking your drains, etc. Maybe we need religious leaders who grasp these realities and can advise us on how to please these gods. Perhaps I offended the god of driving by using the wrong insurer, one who has blasphemed.
Yeh! Everything's so easy, isn't it?
Saw a local news headline that the local council must urgently address the ageing population issue. So how do they do that without putting up council taxes and affecting businesses or people struggling to buy their own properties, or cutting money spent on other areas? Another common moan is that the mayor of London isn't doing enough to tackle knife crime. No fan of the twat generally but, given the diminished funding for police and the branding of properly targetted stop and search as racist, given the reality of where most of the violent gang crime is coming from, there are no easy solutions.
Lots of other examples I can't be arsed to list, old bloke hasn't inspired me that much. Suffice it to say, you moaners, why not try doing something to solve these problems yourself? Bet you won't think everything's so fucking easy then.
Aaagh, religious technology!
Once did a webpage for my little nature-related business to dynamically display pictures with connecting lines using jscript and was looking at modifying it to create a family tree. Thought it would be easy, pictures and details of people instead of insects and replace each diagonal line with two lines going across and down.
Turned out to be more complicated. Inbreeding was one problem I came across in historic examples. Doing the Hapsburgs would be difficult enough with horizontal lines joining across the page. If you included illegal relationships, like men bonking their great grand daughters, you'd have lines going all over the place. Then there's multiple partners. Mickey Roony, for example, had 11 children by 5 different wives. Now we have added even more problems for descendants of our current population with surrogate mothers, sperm donors, gay marriage and gender switching. The family tree of Elton John's descendants is going to be quite complex.
Another problem I really couldn't have foreseen is that the main file format was created by the Mormons for their own purposes and has many limitations, including not providing for children born out of wedlock. WTF? Wonder what other religion-based technology is out there? A Muslim database system for food shops that rejects any count of alcohol or pig based products and stops working during Ramadam? A dating app for Catholic Priests looking to meet little boys?
Make some effort
These lefty liberals are driving a ridiculous sense of entitlement, they want free university courses, free school meals, people allowed to go on living in social housing that's much too big for them, free transport, free everything for anyone who sneaks over our borders... it goes on and on.
We need to counter this by raising children with the idea that they don't deserve to get anything that they don't pay for. Starting at the earliest age.
Slighly less ranty later, if I can be arsed!
Does anyone understand English anymore?
MP Liam Fox has been accused of "staggering" ignorance after he appeared to legitimise climate change denial in the wake of widespread environmental protests. How terrible, what did he say exactly?
- “It’s important that we take climate issues seriously. Whether or not individuals accept the current scientific consensus on the causes of climate change, it is sensible for everyone to use finite resources in a responsible way."
How the fuck is that legitimising climate change denial? It is merely saying that there are other good reasons for backing green policies, such as the increasing shortage and rising costs of fossil fuels. Not everyone is going to be convinced by climate change theories, whatever the evidence, surely it makes sense to bring them onboard by other arguments?
Mustn't blame the main reason
Here we go again, the lefty Guardian moaning about our awful treatment of poor migrants, including unlawful detention for long periods, unreasonable rejection of applications etc.
And yet again, we are supposed to ignore the main reason, which is tucked away in passing in their own article - overworked staff, relentless workloads. In other words we have more f* migrants than we can reasonably cope with!
Bring on the Germy Carbuncle magic money tree, then every application can be assessed by a jury-style panel of 11 highly trained staff with diplomas in immigration assessment over a period of not less than twelve weeks. No problem obtaining the hundreds of thousands more staff needed, we can just bring in more migrants. They are bound to be totally unbiased in their judgements, migrants are always honest.
PS Actually, since migrants are always honest and never make false applications, why don't we just take their word for it and grant them residency automatically?
What a bunch of stupid wankers
On the subject of immigration, the Local Green Party councillor called the other day, hoping to persuade me to vote for him even though he knows I hate his guts over a local issue. Not a chance plonker! Look at the Green party policies on immigration:
- MG203 Richer regions and communities do not have the right to use migration controls to protect their privileges from others in the long term.
- MG205 Migration policies. Preference should not be given to those with resources or desirable skills.
And how would those policies, driving a big increase in the unskilled population, affect our environment given the need for loads more houses etc?
Why this crap party calls itself green I have no idea.
Because they develop from a single egg, conjoined twins are always of the same sex. That's a pity, might be much more fun, for the male anyway, if they were of opposite sex, especially if they were joined at suitable places.
Today's crappy art group picture
Cavemen should have planned better
What a bleedin' mess the world is. It isn't just all the divisions, between races, tribes, cultures, religions, languages, political creeds etc. there's all the umpteen billions of smaller things. Why do we have to study history to learn what some word means? What a bleeding waste of time to have to look things up to discover why some nearby village has the name it has.
If there is an almighty god, was it really so difficult to provide cavemen with computers and the internet before they started spreading out all over the world? Then all these divergences would never have happened, they would have looked up the proper way do this that and the other on Google rather than keep reinventing things.