The coven:
13 blogs we may look at when not lost in admiration of our own:

Vacant slot
HMRC is shite
News Bleat
Nobody′s Friend
the freethinker
Vacant slot
National Secular Society
Vacant slot
Vacant slot
Vacant slot
Vacant slot
Vacant slot
Vacant slot
Yeh! Most of em died!
Islam totally sucks links:
Gates Of Vienna
Jihad Watch
Last commenty thing that we could be bothered to create. (Lazy old git)
This page 3 Rs rating:
Rude: 0.00
Rant: 20.69
Rubbish: 41.38
Other: 37.93
Threat level: LOW
Links to items
Scumbag Police


Wierd Perves

YouTube up yer bum

Quantum Theory TV Remote needed

Spending our money

Fucking parasitic people


The Autumn Budget

Gin-Clod Junkheap



Jimmy Zombie

You want a grasp of reality at the moment? Ask the "far right"

A solution to global warming

Page 57 (Latest)

The ramblings of an old git

bloggoth Mission Statement:

          We aim to never raise our sights above the gutter and preferably to stay much lower

Once is enough

Apart from adverts, covered a couple of post down, the other things that annoy me on TV are previews and reviews in the news. I can understand that people without the sense to record a program and skip through it may want to see news headlines to decide if they want to watch the whole thing, but do we really need various breaks during the program to tell us, yet again, what's on a bit later? And, even worse, what has already been covered - "Our main news story this evening" Look 'ere! If anyone did not watch the program from the beginning that's their f* problem, don't bore the rest of us!

In real life we get bloody reviews as well. If somebody snuffs it we hear all the details of their life at the funeral, obituaries or in the news, depending on how famous they were. Ah well, at least we don't get previews of their life when they are born. - Yet!


The Warning

A Personal Therapy

Yeh right! Renationalisation is the answer!

John McDonnell, Labour's Second Loony in Command, says Nationalisation will cost taxpayers 'absolutely nothing' although the actual cost would be at least £176billion or ten per cent of the national debt, maybe even as high as £306 billion. Loony 2 says there is no real cost as the government will own the assets. Hmmm. So if I borrow half a million pounds to buy a second house I won't really owe anything? Doubt the mortage company will see it that way and, more to the point, I would still have to greatly cut back on my standard of living to repay the amount. The government certainly won't be able to take over any foreign owned companies for less than their value. Whether they will rip off savers and British pension funds remains to be seen.

As I've said before, I would have preferred that some public sector organisations, like the CEGB, had stayed in public ownership rather than ending up in foreign hands. I was involved with various contracts for the CEGB and, while salaries there were very high, at least they gave the UK some technological independence. In those days we could build and maintain our own power stations without going cap in hand to the Chinese, French or Germans. But just spending vast amounts of taxpayers' money on renationalisation is not miraculously going to restore that independence. The lack of technical prowess in the UK is a much more fundamental problem that involves a whole range of issues like poor education, excessive welfare and an over reliance on cheap imported labour that benefits numerous low value, low tech. businesses that we really don't need. Some of the denationalisation has also worked fine, The Post Office and what is now BT are efficient and profitable British owned industries that compete in the private sector. What would be the point of renationalising those?

There may also be a case for some core companies, in building for example, being in public ownership so that they can deal with normal demands and have the expertise to control larger projects that need to be outsourced. But it makes no sense to bring so much into public ownership that the employees are going to be sitting twiddling their thumbs in between big projects. That is the obvious advantage about the free market economy, we only need to pay for what is actually being done.

The main problem with public ownership is that it is notoriously inefficient because the managers don't have to watch the books closely. Private sector companies have to be careful that they make a profit and can pay back any loans or they will go out of business. In the public sector it matters less because the taxpayer is always there to provide any extra funding. In my previous occupations it was usual to raise the quote of any project for a public sector department because we knew there would be extra costs involved in dealing with unplanned changes due to ill thought out plans. Not to mention ridiculous wastes of money - on one project for a Trident submarine training simulator the main control had to be made of the same very expensive Titanium as the real thing although it made no difference to the training value. In the public sector people are paid more for the same jobs, have index linked pensions, are practically unsackable and there is less connection between ability and salary. Then we have the powerful public sector unions that are going to get even more power if Loony 1 & 2 get their way. Look at those "inefficient" train and tube companies, so many of the problems are caused by all the strikes by ASLEF and the RMT.

The recent collapse of Carillion has fuelled the idiocy of calls for nationalisation. So what would have happened differently if Carillion had been part of a public sector organisation? It is highly unlikely there would have been any greater efficiency or that financial scrutiny would have been better. Sure, it would not have collapsed but the the taxpayer would have just ended up paying more to fill the gulf in the finances!

Soon you'll be an advert

I only tend to listen to the radio when I'm driving or relaxing in my little greenhouse. It's relaxing until the fucking adverts come on anyway! As soon as you hear the word "Next" you know you are going to get 5 minutes of crap about Plusnet, Trust a Trader dot com, Vonage or some other company whose services I am not remotely interested in. You would think a BBC channel would be the solution but the DJs spend so much time drivelling about trivial crap, I'd sooner put up with adverts.

Online adverts are a pain in the arse too. It's fair enough that free services should make money through advertising as long as they are not over intrusive but some ads make the page load slowly and you get annoying popups. Links can be highly dubious too, some of these ad companies are not much better than malware. Hardly surprising people use ad blockers.

One day there may be no escape. It's going to happen that the government will start micro-chipping us from birth so it can monitor our thoughts. I'm sure they won't be able to resist making some money by giving big companies access to our brains.

Enough ranting! Says the moon

Too grumpy! Let's post some nicer crap in the crap that nobody ever reads. Er, nice, what does that mean? Oh yeh, thanks Google. Erm. Ah yes! It's a blue super moon tonight, blue cos it's 2nd full moon in month and super cos' it's at closest approach to earth, so appears bigger. And it's a clear night, so got a good view of it. Just took a photo. Hmmm. Looks much like any other full moon to me and the photo was pretty fuzzy. Using flash didn't seem to help, don't know why.

Let's try again. Ah that's better! A proper super moon. Maybe it will save us from the looming geomagnetic reversal.

Who puts these twits in charge?

Today's total idiot is Britain's Road policing chief who has called for motorists to be penalised for going 1mph over the speed limit!

How F* ludicrous! 1 mph over 70 mph is 1.4%. Does it not occur to him that speedometers, and probably speed cameras, may not be that accurate! This could result in huge numbers of motorists who intended to keep to the speed limit being penalised and, possibly, huge numbers who actually did being penalised as well! Another problem is that most speed indicators are dial types and a quick glance might not be enough to ensure you are observing the limit. Drivers nervously checking their speedometers all the time are likely to have more accidents, not less.

Maybe he thinks we should spend billions upgrading all cars and speed cameras to the required visibility and accuracy and millions more every year doing checks on them. He's probably a Corybn supporter. The magic money tree should be the answer!

And why does he think that a legal limit of x mph is the right balance between safety and the need for drivers to travel and maintain our economy? When the current speed limits were defined, they presumably took account of the necessary allowances to allow for innacuracies in speedometers. He's not just a F* idiot, he's probably got OCD.

Update: A leading lawyer make same points as above. I rest my case m'lud.

A deluded man and the deluded people who support him

A subject that appears in the news a lot these days is homelessness. Hardly surprisingly, fantasist Germy Corbyn plans to solve this problem by providing them all with homes. As usual, they will get lush, publicly-funded properties while low paid people who just manage to support themselves live in poor quality rented properties. More destruction of incentive that will drive the percentage of welfare dependents higher still. If you were a low paid worker who could get a higher standard of living by not working at all, would you bother to keep working? Not sure I would.

Wonderful sounding pledges are easy to make when you're in opposition, when you don't have to worry about what other services will have to be cut to or how much more tax ordinary people will have to find to pay for them. Oh, of course, tax the rich Germy! Trouble is, the wonderful globalism that the leftists embrace pretty much makes that impossible. The rich and the international companies are just going to fuck off elsewhere where they can keep their profits.

Venezuela, here we come. This is the country whose Socialist policies Corbyn is such a fan of, where working class people do not have enough to eat, where human rights are being violated, whose President is accused of purging rivals to consolidate his own power.

This is how every single Communist/extreme socialist regime throughout history has turned out. Wake up Corbyn supporters before it's too late!

The unmentionable cause of so many problems

And why is homelessness rising so much? Here comes that big elephant in the room we are not supposed to mention - immigration!

Statistics show that 52% of rough sleepers in London are foreign citizens. Another fairly recent report, in the lefty Independent, puts the figure even higher, at almost 60%. And is the increase in rough sleeping by British nationals unrelated to immigration, given that it places huge pressures on lower cost rented housing and makes it more expensive? Another report by the lefty Guardian shows there has been a huge increase in the population of London, mostly driven by immigration, that has caused the price of housing to rocket.

It is a PC idiocy that mentioning every real adverse effect of mass immigration is denounced as racism - the shortage of school places is nothing to do with immigration even though English is not the first language in 1 in 9 of them, the increasing congestion on roads and public transport in the UK is nothing to do with immigration even though 14% of the UK population is foreign born . Shortage of housing, pressures on the NHS and prison system, etc. - what a funny coincidence all of these things have become such a problem at exactly the same time as a greatly increased population due to mass migration to the UK!

Many think that the problem will be sorted by leaving the EU but migration from within the EU is actually a lot less than migration from outside it and, frankly, Poles are much more of an asset than those from some Commonealth countries. What we really need is a national government with some grasp of reality that makes British citizens, of whatever ethnicity, their first priority.

News about Fake News is fake

Sure fake news is nothing new. I expect Ug, leader of the Ug trube 50 million years ago, was handing out fake stone carvings accusing his arch rival Ug of all sorts of unsavoury things. Lying in one's own interests is part of human nature.

Actually it's probably not just humans. I daresay scientific research will soon emerge showing that, when bees wiggle their bottoms to guide others in the nest to food, they will deliberately wiggle their bottoms the wrong way so that bees with different political agendas go in the wrong direction.

Look at this research here. Funny how the Labour-supporting bees bees marked with red and the Green Party bees marked with green are going to different places. There are clearly no Tory Bees (marked with blue) in this nest but if there were they would probably go to another different place. Who says political division is a human failing?

What do we do with dead people?

It's incredibly expensive to get buried these days, so few places available. Why is the government so obsessed with building new homes for the living and ignoring this issue? We need some solutions before the "ageing population crisis" becomes a "decaying population crisis". Cremation is hardly environmentally friendly with all the energy it wastes. Lots of people donate their bodies to research or for surgical training but, according to something I read on a forum earlier, (I can't be arsed to check obviously) more are donated than are actually needed and they still have to be disposed of afterwards.

Maybe we should legalise cannibalism. There is a risk of transmitting disease but surely that could be prevented by proper pre-cooking or soaking the corses in chlorine, US style. Maybe we could also make better use of corpses before they go to the butcher by legalising necrophile brothels. All those religious sorts who think sex is sinful could vent their frustrated desires on them instead of kids.

PS Yes I'm in a bad mood! Missed having use of my little van and having to stay in all day!

Virtual world needed ASAP

Got a problem with my little van and the garage can't fix it until Thursday. Not having your own transport is a major problem when you live in an out of the way village with almost bugger all in the way of public transport. Buses from here only go to two towns and only every two hours during most of the day. If I went by bus to a meeting I want to go to tomorrow, I'd have to hang around beforehand for over an hour and a half. To get to something I want to go to on Thursday would take over an hour unless I use a taxi, costing £30-£40 for the round trip. I can see how the old chap next door feels now he's lost his licence. Must be awful being old or disabled in a place like this.

Remote villages are very limiting places even if you know a lot of people in them. There's are some people here who rarely seem to stray outside it and seem content. You see them whenever you go to the village club or pub, whatever the day of the week or time of the day you go, but I don't think I could be content with spending my non-home time drinking and smoking fags in the same place. I like my solitary walks, my walking groups, writer's club, art group, canoing etc. plus meeting my small collection of wierd ladies.

Maybe technology will make things easier. A virtual reality device, like the holodeck in Star Treck, would be great. I could just switch it on and do whatever I wanted, fly to the moon, go deep sea diving, visit the Sidney Opera house etc. etc. without getting out of my chair, Bring it on!

PS In the meantime I will just have to sit around for two days twiddling my thumbs and talking to my little puppet parrot.

Partial recall

Even when we get old, we never totally forget things, all the memories are in there somewhere, it's just retreiving them that is the problem. The process is very hit and miss, sometimes you can't think of a name and another time its just pops into your head.

A topic for the story at my writer's group is Bog Man. Was trying to think of a story based on that title while walking today (something a bit more exciting than a story about a chap cleaning lavatories) and a Mad Magazine item that I'd read decades ago popped into my head, about a creature in a swamp made of mud and rubbish. Think it's the one on this page here from 1973.

Why did they have to stop publishing Mad magazine in the UK? Best silly magazine ever, funnier than Viz which is the nearest you can get in the UK today, even though not as rude.

PS Although it looks as if it's turned into lefty bollux these days with most of the recent stuff attackingTrump. I want good old MM silly crap, not politics of any sort. If it was still published in the UK it would probably be banging on about Brexit.

Racism or reality?

It's a bad idea for a major politician like Trump, assuming he actually did, to use an expression like "shithole nations". It hands the Liberal opposition more ammunition so they can bounce up and down crying "racist" without having to address real issues.

But is it truly a racist expression anyway? It is not a slur on any race as such but a comment on the nature of many third world countries. We should not be in denial of the appalling problems many have with high crime, corruption, dismal economic performance, beliefs that are not in accord with our own core principles and some awful cultural practices that are not in accord with our laws.

It isn't about race as such but the state of development of these nations, you would have found many of these same problems back in Victorian England. If race was the main issue then all African and Carribean nations would be much the same, all South Asian nations would be much the same, all Eastern nations would be be much the same but they are not. In reality there are huge differences between the performances and development of nations with similar ethnic makeup.

In the context of immigration, it is irrefutable that the performance of migrants generally reflect that of the nations and sometimes the places in those nation that they come from. Compare the performances in the UK of those from China with those from the likes of Vietnam, from India with those from Bangladesh, from African nations like Nigeria with those from Somalia.

Forget about calling racism, let's have a little realism. There is nothing that can be less racist than acting impartially on facts and statistics and that is what we should be doing.

A fact that the liberal left never grasp is that it is the very real problems caused by failure to exercise proper controls on immigration that is driving the rise of the far right. If I have to choose between them and the "racists" like Trump I will go for the latter. In the long term it is policies of those like him, people who grasp the realities of human nature and will tackle those real problems, that will reduce real racism.

A Retraction

After liberalising myself with a glass of vodka I have seen the error of my ways, how terribly unfair my last post was to "people with people with health conditions or impairments". Of course disabled people, sorry, people with disabilities, should be able to go to war in any role. They would do us proud. How difficult would it be to provide suitably adapted military facilities? I bet wheelchair access to all of our submarines would only cost a few billions.

Submarine by Björn Hamels Hfodf 11:55, 10 January 2007 (UTC). (Photo shot at SAIL Amsterdam 2005.) [CC BY-SA 2.5 (https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/2.5)], via Wikimedia Commons.

Ta Björn! Couldn't be arsed to draw a cartoon sub!

How much dafter will our society get?

I suppose we should be grateful that the defence secretary has blocked a change to the Army slogan "Be The Best" because it was "dated, elitist and non-inclusive". Only after they has spent over half a million of taxpayers' money though. All for trying to empower disabled, old or other less able people but we would hardly win a war by pretending they are as suitable to be soldiers as fit young men. Let's have a little bit of sense!

More PC lunacy

It seems that the government may be forced to exclude foreign students from official immigration figures. This is quite idiotic as many students will be here for 3 or more years and clearly match the definition of immigrant.

We should not be considering whether or not any particular group of migrants do overstay or what their value is before counting them. The whole point of monitoring is to ensure that we have an accurate assessment of the consequences of immigration. Only when we have accurate figures can we make any proper judgement on overall value, balancing any addition to the GDP against the pressures on our society. Excluding any particular group from the statistics inevitably makes them meaningless. What if there is a big rise in student overstayers? It would not be detected. And, if it is actually true that the majority of students do not overstay, why would anyone be concerned about including them in net migration figures anyway?

The left, and businesses leaders who act solely in their interest of their own company's profits, have no grasp of what facts and statistics are for. They are just out to mislead the rest of us.

PS There's a distinct ratty smelll here. Are the claims that most students return actually true? Past government statistics (no longer online) have stated that up to 51% from some countries overstay for 5 years. Given the big rise in illegal immigration from poorer countries in recent years it would be highly surprising if more people from those same countries, those who are among the lowest performers in the UK, are not using the student route to gain access. We need accurate numbers but, once we have those, it is the quality and usefullness of any overstayers that we need to consider.

Hoorah for Old Bloke

He's still going on his constant walks back and forth to town. This one taken on my only trip to town this past week. Also saw him in town on my only trip there the previous week. Grubbiest cap I've ever seen!

PS It is so unusual to keep seeing the same person over and over I did a Google to see if anyone else locally had spotted him. Nowt reported. Maybe he's a road ghost.

PPS Ah! Maybe it's Tom Cruise. He lives nearby.

Space Aliens

Scientists may have awoken an ‘alien intelligence’ inside asteroid ‘Ouamuamua apparently. Sounds like one of those daft ideas but you can't rule it out.

Given the vast numbers of stars out there, intelligent life is highly probable as there is no reason to suppose there is anything special about our planet. However, the existence of intelligent aliens does not mean that they are likely to be searching our solar system any time soon for rather obvious reasons. Could they really travel vast numbers of light years? There is no evidence that warp speed, as in the Star Trek movies, is actually possible and, if not, could any biological creature survive in space for decades, hundreds or even thousands of years? Would any of them want to even if they could? If all parts of the universe came into being at about the same time, is there any reason to suppose that aliens would be significantly more advanced than us?

If an alien invasion ever does happen, we tend to agree with Stephen Hawking (someone almost as intelligent as we at bloggoth) that it may not be good news. Acting in the interests of one's self and one's own species is how nature works. They may see us as we see rats and wipe us out.

But mankind also has a better side, many people love animals, they try to protect wildlife and pamper their pets like crazy. Who knows? An alien invasion could be great for some of us! We wouldn't have to go to work, we'd get free food and medical care, little treats, get taken for walkies twice a day and spend the rest curled up on the sofa or having our tummies tickled. Bring it on!

Scumbag Police

Damian Green should be sacked for being a liar but he's hardly the only politician to match that description and it isn't as though he lied about anything that is really of great importance to the average citizen. Misleading promises during elections, or false or selective claims about the effects of government policies are things that affect us a lot more.

The more important problem is the actions of those policemen. Confidence in the police is already low for so many reasons, including their recent failures to provide information relating to rape cases. Who the hell is going to trust them if they start revealing information to the press about things that are not illegal or pertinent to an investigation? Especially when it is deliberate and appears to be motivated by malice as in this case.

I doubt it will happen but I would like to see these scumbags stripped of their lavish public sector police pensions and ending up on the streets.


As I'm sure I've said before, BCBATC, coincidences make themselves in our minds, we seize on the few events that appear to be linked and ignore the vastly greater numbers that aren't. Still, must admit that sometimes (usually after a vodka or two) I doubt my own logic.

Just before going on holiday to Malta last week I was watching Tony Robinson's "Hidden Britain by Drone" in which he explored Imber, a village on Salisbury plain that was commandeered by the military during WW2 to serve as a training ground. The villagers were promised they could return when the war was over but they were never allowed back. F* governments! Never trust the bastards! On the first evening in the hotel I was having a look round their little shop and the first paperback I opened at random was Neil Spring's The Hidden Village a creepy ghost novel set in Imber.

BCBATC = But Can't Be Arsed To Check

PS Neil Spring has a recent book called The Watchers. Wondered if he'd plagiarised one of my xoggoth Tales. No "The" darn it, so I can't sue him.

Wierd Perves

The xoggoth obsession with fat ladys' bumoles is a bit pervy but it's almost normal by comparison with some. Manga porn, basically pornographic cartoons, is a favourite with some people, especially the Japanese. Hmmm. Marge Simpson or Lois Griffin are ok I suppose, but not really sure I could get turned on by them. ***Note

Now the distinction between real and Manga porn is getting a bit blurred with news that AI could be used to create whatever sort of porn people want.

Could be interesting I suppose. Soon you will probably be able to buy an 18+ version of the Amazon Echo and say "Sexalexa. Make me an explicit porn film of a giant zombie octupus being shagged by six multi-sexual Brontosauruses". The big plus side of course is that, if all men only become turned on by really wierd stuff like that, it will cause a very welcome reduction in the human population.

***Note: Miss Piggy from the Muppets is a different matter of course. Cor! She is REALLY hot!

Topic: Wierd Perves       Comment here.       Comments so far: 0

YouTube up yer bum

For the two non-existent readers of bloggoth, here's a page with links to xoggoth's favourite YouTube music. Pages get blocked on Youtube for various reasons and you may get a "not available - sorry about that" message. If so, just use the search link. There are nearly always other pages on there with the same song.

Quantum Theory TV Remote needed

Reading news headlines on BBC text service while slurping breakfast this morning as usual. Pity the text doesn't cover the whole screen like the old Ceefax service did and I have to put up with TV crap like the Andrew Marr Show. Gina Miller, who keeps trying to block Brexit, was on this morning.

The Quantum Theory says that we cannot observe things without affecting them. People on TV are being observed by millions so the effect must be much greater. Surely it should be possible to have a kill button on our remotes. If one person is currently on screen and enough people press the button, their head explodes! Great!

Gina Miller, Ken Clarke, Vince Cable, Jean-Claude Juncker... Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang!...

Spending our money

I have always wanted out of the EU whatever the initial economic costs. The main reasons were:

  1. The lack of democracy - never knowing what is going to be inflicted on us next to suit the grand plans of zealots like Juncker and the selfish interests of other nations.
  2. The mass influx of low skilled people who do nothing to increase the wealth of the average UK citizen while driving a huge increase in population that is making the UK a less and less pleasant place to live.
  3. The imposition of laws that are not in the interests of British citizens and tax payers, like those that prevent the removal of foreign terrorists and criminals.

The financial contribution seemed a lesser issue. After a holiday in Malta last week, one of several in recent years to Mediterranean countries, I've changed my mind on that having seen first hand the absurd way that EU funds are lavished on other European nations. In Malta we saw a number of roads, with little traffic compared to the UK, funded by the EU. It was the same in Spain, they have had massive levels of EU investment to build huge new coastal motorways. Now similarly huge amounts are being spent in Eastern Europe.

Why? They are not poverty stricken nations and charitable reasons hardly apply. Some of the places where these magnificant new roads have been built looked better off than some Northern regions of the UK. Even here in the South East, some major roads are in poor condition because the authorities don't have the cash to fix them and pothole damage is commonplace. We also saw EU funded water production facilities in Malta. Roads account for only a part of the money that British taxpayers are handing to other nations. We subsidise trains, research centres, farming, tourism, technology, the list is endless.

There can be a good case for some shared expenditures, to improve tackling of crime and terrorism for example, that will benefit all of us and it is reasonable that nations should contribute according to GDP, but WTF should we be paying for things which, even assuming they are not a waste of money, only benefit other nations and may damage the UK economy by helping them take trade away from us?

Fucking parasitic people

I am getting sick and tired of other people wanting things from me, like relatives who expect me to provide them with websites or do their tax returns or company accounts, hours and hours of work, sometimes days, in return for a bottle of cheap vodka. I never ask anyone for favours, other than minor ones from my son who lives with me, and that's entirely reciprical as I always give him a hand whenever he needs it.

Been spending time with a lady for 2 or 3 years. I am always helping her out with something - fixing things in her flat, picking her up from the airport, moving heavy stuff, going to her aid when she got a puncture, moving furniture in my van, storing large stuff in my house, printing documents off for her, driving her car long distances, the list is endless. Just yesterday she moved again and I took her large wardrobe that has been blocking up my garage for a month, round in my van. I then stayed for a while shifting furniture.

The cow really took the biscuit today. I was out on my walk and got a call from her. She sounded really cold and hostile, asking if I had some screws for the wardrobe door and if so would I bring them round. Said I had but perhaps she could call round as I was busy. She then got all shouty and started accusing me of being unhelpful.

This friendship is one sided in so many ways. If I dare to make plans she always changes them at the last minute and we end up going to the same boring places. If we go somewhere I don't like, I stick with it. If it's somewhere she doesn't like, she wants to call it a day. She is always obsessing about this and that boring me with stuff but never listens when I say anything.

Think that's it! I will go back to online dating and see if I can find a decent woman who doesn't view me (and many others) as her F* servant! Maybe, if we are not spending time together, I can ask out that nice lady at the art group we both go.

Update. She called round, I opened the door and said hello. All I got was "Have you got the screws?" Screw her. If I find someone else maybe I'll get a screw. Not too late. Just.


A Fate Already Sealed

The Autumn Budget

Gin-Clod Junkheap


Brought a Satnav last week. Only tried it once but it seems really good.

I don't think technology like this is used as widely as it should be. Maybe if one could create and save maps of much smaller areas, like a house and garden, it would be really useful for senior citizens who are losing their memory.

PS No I didn't draw her right hand the wrong way round. We never make mistakes. She is suffereing from a rare condition called Senior Hand Reversal.


These days "sexual abuse " seems to include a light touch on the leg. Going by that definition, I've been sexually abused three times in about the last three years.. Oh! The trauma! Calling the police now. Or maybe I should leave it for about 15 years.

Maybe we need to protect people by bringing back chastity belts. And add chastity knee pads, chastity hats, chastity shirts , chastity shoes, chastity gloves ...... etc. You get the picture.

Jimmy Zombie

Got no Trick or Treaters again this year, leaving us with a box of chocolates to scoff. Probably parents tell their kids to stay away from our house because they don't like the look of that creepy old bloke.

Halloween is getting rather boring due to lack of variety in the monsters, the vast majority of people dress up as zombies. With so many corpses wandering around eating brains they have stopped being scary. Yet us creepy old blokes still frighten people. We need to bring back the creep factor and I have a great idea for next year! A Jimmy Saville zombie mask! I think it will be really popular.

You want a grasp of reality at the moment? Ask the "far right"

I don't mean the real far right, the loonies who blame everything on the Jews or think that anyone who can't trace their white British ancestry back at least 300 years is not British, I mean the far right with inverted commas, ie anyone who doesn't live in the PC dream world.

Was watching "The Betrayed Girls" on the sexual abuse of young, vulnerable and mostly white girls in Rochdale by most Pakistani men. There had been reports of this in Rochdale and several other towns for many years but, out of political correctness and fear of being seen as racist, our authorities turned a blind eye to it. Even Labour MP Ann Cryer was called a racist by some when she had the guts to speak out. One would think that these idiots had learned their lessons given that this abuse is now an established fact that has resulted in numerous convictions and has been the subject of a BBC program but no, just a couple of months ago a Labour MP was forced to resign from the front bench for mentioning these realities. The only people shown in the BBC program who had any sense were the EDL protesters.

When will these PC idiots ever grasp that it is they who are fuelling the rise of the real far right in the West by refusing to acknowledge and act on real concerns by denouncing anyone, including Labour MPs, as racist for daring to mention them?

A solution to global warming

Using red button to browse news headlines while munching breakfast as usual.

One article in the science section was a UN warning that we are nowhere near meeting our CO2 emission targets to reduce global warming. Another was about how dinosaurs suffered a catastrophic winter after an asteroid hit the Earth, throwing 300 billion tons of sulphur into the atmosphere. Temperatures were below zero for years.

Surely that's the answer to global warming! Just detonate some nuclear missiles loaded with sulphur in the atmosphere every year to cool us down!


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