Page 18 The ramblings of an old git bloggoth Mission Statement:           We aim to never raise our sights above the gutter and preferably to stay much lower

JOY!

The council delivered the first of two new wheelie bins today preparatory to moving to a fortnightly collection. Naturally we at bloggoth are very pleased, we love it when the council does even less for the £1600 we pay it than it does now. We thought our non-existent readers might like a guide to the new bins of the sort that will be coming to them shortly.

1. CCTV to check for any home improvements, trees, sunshine, etc. that the council can use as an excuse to hike up your council tax even further. Not visible in this picture is the microphone that can detect bird song. That is good for another 150 quid.



2. Two more CCTVs that rotate to any angle and will be used to check what you are up to generally.



3. Dish used to beam information from your bin back to the council offices in real time.



4. Monitor to check weight of rubbish. Under forthcoming regulations, unless the amount is within +/- 3 grams of the designated target you will be fined £200.



5. Smoke detector. So they can fine you when it becomes illegal to smoke in your own house or garden.



6. Internal camera to check bin contents. Although small this camera is accurate enough to read any discarded mail. The videos of your rubbish will be checked on a regular basis and anything suspicious will be reported to the appropriate authorities.



7. Computer that may be reprogrammed by download via the dish to implement any further monitoring functions as the state sees fit.



8. Accomodation for one Polish migrant worker or up to three illegal Somali immigrants.



9. Space for your rubbish.

Commenty boxy thing

Post comments here. Promises of money or ecstatic praise only please. Anything remotely critical will be removed. If you do not agree with me you are clearly insane.

Another bit of truth

I bet if anyone suggested that immigrants are disproportionately responsible for too many drink driving cases all the PC sorts would pop out of the woodwork to shout about racism and unfounded predudice. What an inconvenience the Freedom Of Information Act is. I daresay the police are picking on them unfairly. It's the only possible explanation.

THIEVING BASTARDS!

The stinking government is trying to get its mits on dormant accounts. SOD OFF! If it goes to anyone other than the rightful owners it should be distributed among the customers of the bank/BS, not spent according to the formula, proven by the famous economist Milton Keynes, that accurately predicts government expenditure:

W = kS
where:
   S = Money spent
   W = Money wasted
   k = 5.0

I have got 12 quid with the long defunct Hastings And Thanet BS; it never seemed worth the effort to find where it went and claim it. I think I may bother now, I'm not having it spent on a lot of grotty youths called Wayne, not to provide club facilities anyway. If they come up with a sensible proposal for extermination camps I might support it.

The opt out proposal on organ donations pisses me off too, our bodies at least should be our own. However, it is a very reasonable principal that you should only get from society what you are prepared to put in, so why not give priority in organ donations to those who opt to donate?

BASTARDS!

How can they hurt poor little Shambo?? So he has TB! So what? Are there no expensive TB clinics we can send him to? What about Switzerland? The mountain air would work wonders. I am so annoyed at this I am posting the story in Welsh. What a lot of o's the Welsh language has!

Commenty boxy thing

Post comments here. Money or ecstatic praise only please. Anything remotely critical will be removed.

PS Also a) no disagreeing with anything I say b) No comments that are more informed than mine. If we at bloggoth present something some bloke told us once as fact, we are not interested in the results of some billion pound scientific study by eight Nobel prize winners that proves the opposite. On bloggoth, we at bloggoth are right!

How much to you need?

Quite the silliest spam emails are those that promise to vastly increase the volume of your ejaculation. Who wants buckets of the stuff? Personally, I have found a teaspoonful does quite enough damage thanks very much!

While on this unsavoury subject, today I ran into that homophobic chap I think I have mentioned before who told me a very short joke. Homophobic or not, I thought it quite funny.

A chap goes into a gay sauna and slips over on some spunk, hurting his elbow. He is furious! "Which of you did that?" he yells, "Come on, own up, who farted?"

PS. Yes, I know. bloggoth is really going downhill. I think this is due to loneliness as the missus is away with a friend for a few days. Like me she is now retired. I cannot wait for her to get back so we can begin our proper retirement together. Then she can get started on her treadmill of domestic drudgery - cooking, washing, ironing, cleaning and so on so that we at bloggoth can start enjoying our life of leisure.

ATTENTION!

Just before the Hitler prog. saw a bit about the Grenadier Guards. All that bearskin stuff and standing stiffly by their box at Buckingham Palace.

I wonder if there was a terrorist attack on the palace these lot would actually be any good or would they march stiffly up to the terrorists and start polishing their buttons?

HAAAAAAAAA HA

HA HA Ha HA

UP YOURS C*NTS. All taxation is theft.

We always knew it

We are The Sun

Young, healthy, new, fresh.

We have an understanding and enjoyment of science and math, beautifully constructed music, carefully reasoned philosophy. It is a card of intellect, clarity of mind, and feelings of youthful energy.

We can leave bits out if we like, we are the sun!

We do not have to acknowledge whose site we found this bilge on either, we are the sun. Clue. Very silly.

What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.

Could YOU do it?

A TV program that was actually worth watching. We at bloggoth watch very little TV. This is not due to us having a fulfilling life and many better things to do, it's just that most of it is such total shite and even less entertaining than our usual occupations of self abuse and staring at the wall. The History Channel was about the Hitler home movies and the insights gained by a novel computer program that could read lips better than any human to show what he and his guests actually said.

That man has to be one of the most fascinating in human history. How could an artist, an insignificant drifter, a man who had Jewish friends in his early life, a man who possibly had Jewish blood, do what he did? Stalin one could understand, he was a psychopath, a man who derived pleasure from imposing fear on those he knew and even on those he should have loved. But Hitler? Darn it, as these tapes show (and I do not believe those shots with his lover, friends and their children were in any way phony or put on) Hitler was such a darn nice chap!

It is a fascination that many have shared and numerous volumes have been written on the subject. Some say he was a lunatic, others that everything he did was calculated solely to take and hold power. Jews? Convenient scapegoats for every failure. Aryan supremacy? A theory to flatter the German people. There are some indications that he was no fanatic. The program showed him calmly discussing the Russian threat with none of the ranting that characterised his public speeches. I cannot find any reference on the net but I also recall reading that one general in Poland who was not committed to the ideals of Germanisation did not purge Slavs as other generals were doing, but instead left them in positions of authority provided they signed a bit of paper calling themselves Germans. Hitler was informed about what he was doing but left him in control.

I go with the not a lunatic idea. He was no lunatic, rather a man with a love of power, a liking for adulation, an acquired capacity for oratory (one of the simplest abilities to acquire) and the gift of unique social conditions to further his ends. Above all, he had no imagination. What is imagination? I don't mean the ability to create amazing fictional scenarios that nobody else has thought of, I mean the ability to actually create in one's mind the reality of different experiences, to imagine life as others see it. To empathise if you prefer. He could sympathise with and relate to people he knew, yet seemingly had no ability to feel or visualise the suffering of the Jews, Slavs, homosexuals or genetically defective that his ideas condemned.

Sound familiar? Just like most of us to some extent. Naturally we can tell ourselves that WE are not personally responsible, it is not something WE ordered to happen, but is it really so different from not wanting to care for HIV positive Africans in the UK, for preferring that third world kids starve rather than we have to pay an extra 1till believe that the idiotic blunder of Iraq has helped in the "War on Terror"? Even American Intelligence appareect of illegal migrants, perhaps, we prefer not to think about those real unknown individuals living a precarious existence and what they may be feeling. They are easier to denounce as faceless numbers. Is this a diatribe against our inhumanity? Hell no! We ARE the way humanity is, the way nature made us and that is the only way that we survive.

What was Hitler? Let's agree he was a homicidal maniac, much more comforting than thinking that actually he may have been a rather normal bloke like me or, well, YOU. If creating mythical enemies would give you enormous power, even if that resulted in millions of deaths as long as you never had to witness it, would you do it? I might. Just as well we at bloggoth have no charisma.

Is it just us then? Yeh, right.

Have any of them?

This item mentioned on CUK just has to be copied. A civil servant without a brain eh? Say no more! (Not to be confused with SAY NO MORE, see below)

Say no more report

The SAY No MORE page. Day 11. 16 crimes logged. Probable say no more (arrested/charged) 24% SAY NO MORE (convicted) 24%.

Commenty boxy thing

Post comments here. Money or ecstatic praise only please. Anything remotely critical will be removed.

There has been an implied criticism about the sparsity of commenty boxy things. Think yourself lucky. I am seriously looking at the Ryanair model, anyone wishing to comment has to bring their own commenty boxy thing.

Another brilliant tip

For all bloggers looking for "hits" (not us at bloggoth of course, we are not shallow minded attention seekers like the rest of you) we have observed, as a result of sheer laziness in not bothering to split these pages, that the longer your blog page is, the more hits you get. This is due to every link/image etc. on it counting as a "hit" when someone views it. If you want hits just stick lots and lots of IMG tags for tiny images at the bottom of your page and enclose them a hidden div. Hey presto! You are POPULAR!

The statistic that counts, idiots, is the average daily visits in YELLOW. We at bloggoth average around 90-95, which is probably an error, we expect Webalizer did not think to allow for negative numbers. bloggoth continues to leak outwards onto the net, contaminating worthy liberal items with pieces of wasp-infested idiocy and right wing ranting.

Someone with some sense

Cut the world population. But he is not advocating genocide. Pity. We should start by shooting celebrity chefs and then move onto horrible common people who watch Big Brother and Corrie.

Breaking news

Surgeons remove growth from President Bush's colon.

PS

As he is no longer PM his image can safely be shown without being enclosed by the famous bloggoth pentagram.

What a (Ca)maroon

In the wake of the byelection disappointment and falling ratings in the polls, the Blithering Drivelling (phony Tory leader) Camoron is off to Rwanda to take part in a major Tory aid project. Yeh? Wonder what he ever did for charity BEFORE he decided to put over this saintly image? And does it help or hinder? I do not think the British public are opposed to charities to help the third world when (big if) the money is not simply wasted, but they are wary of politicians who appear so obsessed with strutting the world stage and addressing global issues that they seem not to give a damn for UK citizens who pay their wages.

There is also little point in losing all your traditional supporters by fighting for the middle ground if the middle ground is not going to provide enough support in any case because it is already firmly occupied by the other parties. The Liberal Democrats have the strong advantage that it is their traditional territory and they have a leader who, while not the dynamo some would hope for, commands some respect among most voters for common sense and integrity.

At least a few Tory MPs are starting to publicly express their doubts. Any chance they can get of this blithering idiot and replace him by the man they should have had, David Davies, before the next election?

English Democrats

Came across this lot by accident. Never heard of 'em but support for English democracy sounds good. But what is this huge text? Is the site run by nonagenarians with failing eyesight? There may be some sound argument on there but that needs some attention before anyone will bother to read it. From a brief perusal, a little checking of the spelling, grammar and punctuation would not go amiss either.

PS: And they keep referring to the Tory leader as Camoron. That's just childish that is, we at bloggoth would never resort to such puerility.

Requiescat in pace

We at bloggoth have now managed to control our grief sufficiently to post an obituary to our lovely old gardening shoe that was sadly lost in the recent flash floods at xoggoth Towers.

PS Right gardening shoe has died of grief and been buried with due ceremony in the dustbin.

PPS Oh yeh. Some other people lost stuff in the floods too. We at bloggoth would not want anyone to think we were only concerned for ourselves. They were probably only Northerners though.

PPPS Hey, we found another old pair of no 1 son's trainers in the cupboardy thing under the telephone seat!

More little things annoying xoggoth

This week little things have been mostly doing:-

Medical predicament

It seems Bush has had a colonoscopy. Beats me how they tell which end to put it.

PS: We had one of those once and we were really looking forward too it as we had a lady doctor. Unfortunately, she was away and some ugly male locum was standing in.

Mourning a casualty of the flash floods

Flash flooding came to xoggoth towers this morning. Water was pouring out of the stream at bottom of our garden, round our shed and greenhouse and running in a huge flood over neighbours' gardens. Them next door covered the stream through their garden so at the edge of ours it goes into a concrete pipe. Went to check for blockage and fell in as the banks were completely underwater. Bleedin' 'ell, I can see why people get swept away! One of my lovely old gardening shoes got ripped off my foot and sucked away! RIP. We are in mourning.

On the plus side, the water is running into the neighbour's kitchen and it is a problem entirely of their own making. Hooray!

Good for Russia

One of the paradoxes of being a nationalist, in the UK at any rate, is that one sometimes has rather more sympathy with the position of another government in a dispute than one has with one's own. A government's primary duty is to its own citizens and, whether it is granting passports to violent criminals, failing to send back those who endanger us because they might be at risk or extraditing British businessmen to other countries under the terms of grossly one-sided treaties, our government fails in its duty time and time again.

So Russia has a term in its constitution that prohibits the extradition of its citizens but instead provides for prosecution in their own courts? Good for the Russians! Those are terms that we should have in our constitution if we had one. It speaks volumes for the casual attitude of the UK government towards its citizens that we do not, that the only written laws on the state's general responsibilities to individuals are vaguely worded treaties drawn up by others and entered into without consulting the British people, conferring "rights" on all regardless of their nationality.

We at bloggoth look forward to a day when the UK substitutes its own rules, with suitable priority for the interests of UK citizens, for all those declarations and charters on human rights from the EU or UN.

PS

While we are wishing for the impossible we may as well wish for the day when those useless self-serving organisations cease to exist!

DO not STAB

Some pretty stiff sentences have been handed out for soliciting murder recently. For incitement to terrorism on the net too. We at bloggoth have therefore decided to stop recommending the immediate STABBING of all politicians as we do not want to end up in jail.

We will not suggest it again.

Not ever

certainly not

WE will not suggest STABBING politicians ever again

WE will not suggest STABBING politicians

WE will not suggest STABBING politicians

WE will not suggest STABBING politicians

WE will not suggest STABBING politicians

WE will not suggest STABBING

WE will not suggest...

WE will not...

WE will...

GAAAAAAAAAH!

STAB!

STAB!

STAB!

STAB!

STAB!

STAB!

STAB!

STAB!

STAB!

STAB!

STAB!

STAB!

Donation

Main news of the day is a plan to change the way organs are donated. Apparently the current opt in scheme does not provide nearly enough donated organs because few bother to register or carry a card.

Disgraceful! Why are people so lacking in public spirit? I know it will come as no suprise to any of our non-existent readers, given our well known love for our fellow man, to learn that we at bloggoth have carried a donor card for years.

Bang on

My MP, Nicholas Soames, speaks for most of us in calling for a cut in immigration levels to "avoid a profund change in British society" Bit late for that, but we should avoid it being changed even more.

He disputed government claims about the benefits to the general economy from immigration and said the public could "sense the falsehoods" in government claims.

Mr Soames proposed cutting work permits, tightening family reunion rules and also asylum applications.

He said any immigration system was only as good as its power to remove people, and if necessary human rights rules needed to be looked at again.

He said access to the welfare state should only come after people had contributed to it for five years to "defuse the very strong sense of grievance".

During the Westminster Hall debate, ex-Labour minister Frank Field, said the "political classes" had failed to listen to people's legitimate concerns about the level of immigration.

He added: "If we do not change tack very quickly, very smartly on this issue then the sense of our national identity may be lost."

He questioned the free movement of people around Europe and said one million people coming in from eastern Europe was "unsustainable".

At least there are a couple of MPs with some sense.

PS One in four terror suspects has been an asylum seeker. Big surprise!!!

Tax

It is a nice day and we would like to be in the garden tidying up as we are having have a barbecue next week but scum neighbour is mowing his lawn with the world's noisiest lawnmower AGAIN (there is some DIY store called Especially Noisy Appliances that he buys from) and I am in a foul mood, so I shall RANT on here until the c*t has finished.

We see that the crappy Tories are to commission a review of the tax system. "Shadow chancellor George Osborne said this week that the aim would be to reduce the administrative burden on small businesses" When have we heard that before? Oh yes, in March 2005 and October 2006. Noticed any reduction business owners? No, me neither. I have no great confidence that the whittering Blair Mark 2 that is the Drivelling Snivelling (Phony Tory Leader) Camoron will deliver anything either. Aligning (why not just combine them??) the tax and NI systems sounds good but the reforms we really need to the tax system are those that restore incentive.

Why on earth does anyone start to pay tax at £5225 when an adult on the national minimum wage earns over £10k? The low paid who are prepared to work throughout the year should surely be entitled to pay for their own living out of their own wages without being dependent on others or being made to feel like welfare claimants. What is the damn point of them handing much of their earnings over to the state so it can be handed back to them, incurring huge administration costs that have to be picked up by other tax payers? What is the point of paying a low wage to nurses, say, so that they then need huge amounts of tax credits and extra help with housing etc. to make ends meet? Why not just pay them the same amounts, PLUS the savings gained by sacking some useless state administrators, as salary? Why not give them back some pride from paying their own way by doing a worthwhile job?

One would imagine that any measures to help the low paid financially and let them feel worthwhile would be supported by the left. Apparently not, our marvellous current PM is the man who axed the 10% starting rate of tax. More proof, if any more was needed, that socialism has nothing to do with concern for the working man but solely with furthering the interests of the state and those who work for it.

Ah, mower has stopped. End of rant. If our non-existent readers want some lighter relief while escaping from whoever/whatever then Nobody's Friend is in fine incomprehensible form.

Stupid defences

We recently saw the daft defence by the would-be 21/7 bombers that the very nearly lethal bombs were just intended as a protest and not meant to explode. Right! you would really go to all that trouble for a protest when some Payne's bangers would do the job rather better and actually show it was just a protest if you got caught. Maybe, by using a real if slightly flawed mix, they intended their false conviction as some sort of martyrdom. Perhaps they hoped that Allah would reward them, if not with a bunch of virgins in paradise, at least a "real feel" rubber vagina and a copy of Razzle. In that case why not pleed guilty?

We had similar idiocy from another would-be bomber last year as I covered previously. This chap lived in a small house in Crawley and had enough fertiliser hidden away for two hectares of land. When he needs some aluminium paint he buys some aluminium powder to make it instead of popping in to Homebase.

But let's not pick on Islamist bombers, how about Chris Langham's defence for having child porn on his computer? OH NO!!! Not the old "I was doing research" defence!!! I suppose some in the police may have genuine reasons to spend their time looking for child porn on the net but you really need to do it to guide you in playing a COMEDY part? Must have been a wierd sort of comedy. Given what must surely be a well known fact by now that the police may well be able to trace you, surely anyone with a genuine need to do such research does it in a way that their purpose is not misconstrued. Do Operation ORE officers equip themselves with a box of Kleenex and do their research secretly on their bedroom computers when the wife is out? I suspect not.

Bombs, comedy show, that's an idea! I think we could save a lot of time and money in trials if the defence was presented as a one hour comedy show in front of a live audience. If it bombed the accused would go on to a full trial. If it was a big success with the audience falling about laughing, bring in a guilty verdict.

Commenty boxy thing

Post comments here. Money or ecstatic praise only please. Anything remotely critical will be removed.

SAY NO MORE PAGE

There is a vast range of opinions on immigration from the barking views of some on the far right who would apparently prefer a stupid white criminal to a high earning black man to the equally barking views of the liberal left who appear to think that the violent criminal nature of some third world societies has nothing whatever to do with the people who live there. All the crimes are committed by camels apparently.

I think the great majority of the indigenous population of the UK would have no great problem with immigration, regardless of the migrants' race, provided it was properly controlled, with sensible limits on numbers and adequate checks to ensure we take only law abiding and highly skilled people with a committment to fit in in our society. Everything we see and read tells us that is not the truth of it and part of that is the apparently regular involvement of migrants/minorities in so many serious crimes that we see in the media.

A false impression shaped by our predudices? Maybe, what we need is an impartial check. Starting today Friday 13th July of this week 9th July 2007, we will be recording on our SAY NO MORE page very brief details of every violent crime according to predefined criteria to avoid bias, on our part at least. If you are one of those who think that the police and media are engaged in a racist conspiracy there is really nothing we can do about that.

If at the end of one year from now the tally of violent crimes committed by certain sectors among the migrant/minority communities is not significantly out of proportion to their numbers I shall happily say so.

Official

Us grumpy old bastards have no sense of humour.

Another brilliant business idea (don't anybody nick it!)

We have a number of pheasants who come into our garden. One pair is very bold and if there is no seed under the table the male will squark until you go and feed him. We have another male who is rather timid and if you take seed out tends to lurk around behind the greenhouse until you have gone in. He never seems to have a mate and I feel sorry for him.

Then I hit on a brilliant idea. Blow up dolls for lonely animals! At left below is a blow up female pheasant I knocked up from a balloon, a couple of dinner forks and a potato and it is hardly distinguishable from the real one at right. Ok, it needs a tiny bit of work but I think it is rather sexy and may console poor Mr Timid.

Why is this a great business idea? I hear you you ask. Because I intend to make blow up dolls for lonely pets which I can sell at pet shops around the country. Dog owners will willingly pay a good price for something that stops their leg being shagged*. Now, where did I put that old hearth rug?

*We don't have a dog but we at bloggoth think that sounds rather fun actually.

SAY NO

Murder of an entire family in Manchester. SAY NO MORE! I remarked to no 1 son this morning. Details this afternoon. Hmmmm! not sure yet, but shaping up nicely to be a SAY NO MORE.

Piss off Brownstuff

Another "sensible" decision from {Lying Scottish C* ... Brownstuff} some might say. Yes, can't have SuperCasinos, can we? after all, this may lead to an increase in gambling addiction and more people running into debt problems!

So who gives a shit? Most who would have attended those casinos would have found it no more than a pleasurable night out just like any other and no more the gateway to financial and social ruin than an evening spent country dancing or going to the pictures. Society cannot be run according to the lowest common denominator of ability and self-discipline of those in it. Why should these things be denied to the great majority who manage to exercise some control over their lives?

Yes, I agree there are limits to such arguments, there are some well balanced individuals who can take hard drugs and get off them whenever they choose or who could carry guns and never use them irresponsibly but I would not recommend legalising either. As in all these things you have to balance the relative numbers of people and the benefits and problems on either side of the equation. Just maybe sometimes, in an elective democracy, we should leave that balance to our elected representatives who have already had a free vote in favour of the plan. It should not be up to some damn Presbyterian Scotsman or a bloody bunch of unelected peers to overturn it.

"Flood misery" victims

Perhaps if society expended rather less effort insulating the feckless from the consequences of their own actions then we might get some growth in social responsibility. It is quite amazing that some are calling for extra cash to help those who were uninsured in the recent floods.

Central government aid to rebuild infrastructure, to provide short term emergency provisions for all those affected, to help those who genuinely could not afford their premiums on a case by case basis, by all means, but the rest of them? You took a risk and lost, tough!

Another objection to this sort of provision is that in practice it is determined by newsworthiness and not by need. Get injured or lose your worldy goods in some disaster that fills the national newspapers for a week and get compensated. If the same personal tragedies never get beyond the second page of the Wellingborough Gazette, you're on your own. It is no way to determine how public money should be spent.

Commenty boxy thing

Post comments here. Money or ecstatic praise only please. Anything remotely critical will be removed.

Brill

Having twice been threatened with a libel action we at bloggoth are always a little circumspect about what we say about actual people* or organisations but we wish we had written this about our village.

*Unless they are politicians of course, calling the {Lying Scottish C* ... Brownstuff} a lying c*nt is ok as you would be at the end of a list of about ten million other people who had already called him a lying c*nt and even if he did get down to you there would be about ten million complete strangers who would rush to testify on your behalf that he is indeed a lying c*nt and any libel jury would certainly throw out his case for being a lying c*nt.

Update. Add your own c*nt at Cunts Corner. Yup! Gordon is already on the first page of G.

Gratuitous zombie porn

One law for us, one etc. etc. - number 11 million and six

We should be so used to it by now, the way our lords and masters make special favourable rules for themselves. At least once a year they award themselves another tax free perk when they already have dozens that nobody else gets, just last year it was tax breaks on mortgages for second homes. Only a month or two back they exempted themselves from the Freedom Of Information act. No surprise then that there is now only one workplace in England where the no-smoking ban is entirely voluntary, it is not a criminal act and there are no fines or penalties as there are for the rest of us.

What really surprises us at bloggoth is not the contempt in which politicians are held but that the contempt is not far deeper and more widely held than it is. It beats us how anyone can see a politician and not want to beat them about the head with a huge baseball bat and piss in their brains. Where is our little stamp pad, where is it? where is it? Ah! here it is!

Darn it! Out of ink! Quick, quick, where's the spare ink pad?? Ahah!

The old job back

We have had a vacant silly slot in the bloggoth coven for a few weeks after Nobody's Friend announced he was stopping blogging. As he seems to be back we have restored the link. We have resolved to stick with a coven of thirteen so he is darn lucky we did not find somebody equally silly to fill the slot.

Who are we kidding? it was AN IMPOSSIBLE TASK!!!!

Idiocy and a petition for an EU referendum too.

Yeh right

Nice to see the new PM standing up for Britishness. Oh hey!, fly a few flags on public buildings, that really is defending British sovereignty and the British way of life that is!

Unfortunately, in anything that really matters, when our national independence or our way of life is under threat we get nothing from this man. Don't be fooled into thinking that the lack of charm is some sort of honesty or humility, Brownstuff is a lying scumbag with no more grasp of democracy or respect for the wishes of the British public than {He Whom etc.} ever was.

Now he is PM we have decided that Lying Scottish C* Brownstuff is an inadequate name, in future he will be called {Lying Scottish C* Bastard Overtaxing Incentive-Destroying Nose-Picking Bastard (alledgedly) Bent One Eyed Bastard Who Deserves To Be Boiled In Oil Bastard And Have A Tree Shredder Shoved Up His Bastard Arse And Turned On With The Resultant Arsey Liguid Injected Into His EyeballsRemaining Eyeball Bastard Shit-Colour-For-A-Name Bastard With A Few Extra Bastards Thrown In for Good Measure Bastard Brownstuff} or {Lying Scottish C* ... Brownstuff} for short. The {...} is crucial, will my non-existent readers please remember what it stands for, I shall be conducting random spot tests.

Scum

Naturally we can't be bothered to look for it but we have said in the past that we have a bit more sympathy for some Nigerian groups than for other terrorist groups. It is quite wrong that the inhabitants of an oil rich region should suffer all the problems of oil extraction while sharing in so little of the benefits. Sod sympathy if they can do this. Unfortunately, most "just causes"" eventually degenerate into lawlessness for its own sake.

I can believe it

A review of a new book on seven refugee Jews who played major roles in the development of nuclear weapons.

Like me, you probably don’t associate the traffic lights on Southampton Row with the end of the world.

But it was while waiting there in 1933 that the Hungarian polymath Leó Szilárd conceived the idea of a nuclear chain reaction, and thus the creation of the atomic bomb.

No surprise to we at bloggoth. Every time we are stuck fulminating at the lights on that damn roadworks into town we conceive the idea of exterminating the entire world many times over.

More exciting science

News that a mother has had her eggs frozen for possible use by her infertile daughter.

Predictably there are the usual "moral" objections from the religious and unnatural argument nuts. We are all in favour of it here at bloggoth. Taken together with all the other exciting developments in biology, like cloning and animal-human hydrids, it is easy to see the enormous potential there is for enhancing human happiness and well being.

Like, you will be able to take one woman to bed and shag your great grandmother, great great granddaughter, yourself and next door's cat all at the same time! Waheeee!

Reciprocation

Tributes to Hamas today for aid in freeing Johnson.

If any in Hamas did play a part they should be thanked but I trust none will get carried away. There is no call to treat this as a reason for resuming payment of aid or to relax our stand in any way until there is a cessation of attacks on Israeli civilians and at least a willingness to discuss recognising Israel.

Had some prominent foreign figure, even a citizen of some country that was no friend of the UK, been kidnapped by a terrorist group in the UK I have little doubt that the authorities would have been doing everything possible to get him released, it is what civilised governments do, we would not be expecting their governments to radically alter their policies in return.

Are there any religious people left who AREN'T complete lunatics?

You expect religious lunacy from America, from potty Baptists and all the nutty Afro-Carribean Evangelists who are inflicting themselves upon us, but one always felt one could rely on relative sanity from the leaders of the good old C of E. It seems not. It isn't just bad weather causing floods or even global warming, it's gay civil partnerships. Become a homophobe now and save our planet from fire, flood and pestilence!

Yet more evidence that religious sorts content to live their own lives according to their own beliefs and leave others to do the same, if they ever existed, are a dying breed. The rational need to oppose these blithering idiotic superstitions in all their malign forms wherever they find them.

Muslims, Islamists, is there a distinction really?

While on the subject of religion, we had a TV interview on the London news tonight from some ex militant telling us we should draw a clear distinction between ordinary Muslims and Islamists. According to him the latter, unlike the former, have a political agenda.

I suggest that people do some research on the worldwide phenomenum of Islamic states. They are not Muslim states, i.e. secular democracies in which a majority are Muslims, they are Islamic states in which all law, for Muslims and others, is determined by reference to Islamic beliefs. Most are more tolerant to non Muslims than the likes of Iran or Saudi Arabia but in practice you will see many restrictions - on building churches, on the language you may have a bible in, on the raising of children of mixed faith marriages and so on. In most of them, conversion from Islam or attempting to convert a Muslim is prohibited and in theory may be punishable by death. The treatment of certain heretic Muslim sects is singularly brutal even in supposedly moderate countries like Egypt and Pakistan.

Have a look around, check the facts for yourselves. Non-political Islam? There is no such thing.

UK to be invaded by plastic ducks

New Scientist

Fair treatment

We at bloggoth are barking about NICE little animals, rescuing little flies from windows, feeding wasps with jam etc. Quite right we say, but unfortunately the tendency is spreading through our brain in alarming ways.

Having not been arsed to split this blog page up or put any links at left for so long, it would have taken ages to cut and paste so we wrote a little Excel VBA prog. to do it. we can knock these things up very quickly. Hang on, Sheet2 has two buttons and Sheet1 has not got any, that seems so unfair and we are feeling sorry for Sheet1. Ok, move the second button to Sheet1, it looks much happier now. Oh no! I can hear Sheet3 crying because it has no buttons and indeed it is not being used at all! What? delete Sheet3? How can you be so heartless?

We have to stop here now and go off for a vodka and ponder what we can usefully use Sheet3 for to make it feel wanted and not just patronised. Vodka likes to be drunk, although we have not actually asked it. What? what's that you are telling us Mr. Smirnoff?

Desparate men

We at bloggoth do not claim to be enormously endowed in the trouser department but we have never actually been tempted to rectify the situation by injecting it with hair tonic. Mind you, we have been polishing our bald spot with Viagra for some time now and have to report that that gives rather disappointing results too. PS. Any dickhead comments will be removed.

One does have to wonder about the sense of some people, why would anyone imagine that something designed to work on hair (and pretty ineffective at that) would work on a willy? We did once try Brobat as a remedy for a persistent mouth condition we had but that was different, the experiment was based on the scientific observation that it felt better after going swimming in the public baths. It helped a little, lager made it worse, household sink cleaners made it better although nothing soothed it quite like public swimming pool water. Maybe we should have got a bunch of strangers to piss in it. That's an idea, if the wife finds out I have been spending her money on golden showers I shall claim it is for purely medicinal purposes.

Anyway, here is a tip for our new PM, if a glass eye is powdered liberally with Harpic before reinserting it will feel fresh for the rest of the day.

Does UK citizens lack initiative?

I have never been flooded (actually it would be well worth having 2 feet of water in the lounge as the neigbhours next door would be totally submerged up to the first floor) but it always beats me how people suffer so much damage from two feet of water. At that level, most houses have two doors and possibly a couple of air bricks to let water in. Never heard of stout polythene sheet and a roll of bituminous gutter tape? Yes, it sticks on wet surfaces.

Hand of progress

New Scientist has an item on a 3d display coupled with a glove that allows you to both "see" and "touch" a 3D virtual image. Isn't technology amazing! This will, for example, allow people to handle artworks or historic artifacts that are too delicate or valuable to handle in reality or shake hands with overseas clients in almost real video link ups.

Yeh

Oh come on! you thought the same thing as me, didn't you?

Commenty boxy thing

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Enough was enough twenty five years ago

I drove up to Limehouse yesterday. I rarely drive to London these days but every time I do it becomes easier to understand why people support the BNP. From South Croydon inwards, London appears to be a predominantly black and Asian city. When I left London 25 years ago only a few areas of South London were, like Brixton. In once white areas like Thornton Heath or Streatham it is now hard to spot a white face. Maybe minorities all just decide to wander around on the major routes when I go there and it is a false impression. If not, they are either astonishingly fecund or we are being completely lied to about the scale of third world immigration. The visibly ethnic are the mere tip of the iceburg as the accents and languages one frequently encounters or overhears will tell you.

Ah yes, how astonishly racist of me to even mention it! Our culture is immensely "enriched" by all this, it is "exciting", it is "vibrant". This is all part of the blackmail we have allowed ourselves to be browbeaten by for far too long and is not anti-racism but inverted racism. When migrants come to our country, where do they mostly go? Pretty naturally, to those areas where all their compatriots are. It is perfectly normal human behaviour to want to be among those of one's own culture, only the white British get accused of racism for having this natural need.

We are expected to allow our own values to be constantly challenged, to feel like outsiders in our streets, to pick up the council tax bills for all those special measures like leaflets and library books in Urdu because they cannot be bothered to learn English, to watch the growth of Evangelism and Islam that threaten our secular society, to see the return of Anti-Semitism and homophobia, to put up with respect killings and honour killings and torture to drive out witches and batti boy bashing and female circumcision and all the other third world nonsense they bring with them, to put up with protests about whatever has offended them recently even if it has nothing to do with the UK, to foot the bill for costly legal campaigns so they can have "equality" by gaining a right that nobody else has, to live with the constant threat of terrorism, to have overcrowded prisons because of disproportionate numbers of certain nationalities in them, to pay billions for HIV positive Africans when our own citizens with a lifetime of NI payments are refused necessary drugs and to constantly swallow the implied insult that none of our own culture and traditions have any worth whatever. If we cannot bring ourselves to say how wonderful it all is, at least we must smile and say nothing.

I cannot help feeling that if there was a similar enormous influx of white British to Karachi or Kingstown or Nairobi or Bucharest and I was a native of one of those cities complaining about it on a blog, I would get comments from the same sorts who denounce all objection to immigration here as racist; not denouncing me for racism but deploring the failure of those migrants to fit in and respect my beliefs in my own country and sympathising with me on the insensitive way my own culture and long standing traditions were being compromised by the scale of the immigration.

SAY NO MORE

If it is not already totally apparent, we must state that we at bloggoth feel third world minorities immensely enrich our society, give us more we say, open the doors and let them all in!

Yet sometimes a tiny unreconstructed part of our brain, when reading of a crime, will cry "SAY NO MORE". We are trying so very hard and even that nasty little part (which we have called Clive) would never shout an uncoded phrase. Naturally, we do our best to quell such backward instincts and immediately check the news in question so the facts will refute Clive's nasty little racist assumptions. This news of homophobic attacks in Brighton we read about on another blog for example.

Damn it! Clive was right again! Not another coincidence! Why does that keep happening?

Why these double standards from the "liberal" left?

Isn't it very odd that the same people who stand up for gay/lesbian rights or equality for women, issues that we on the libertarian right entirely agree with them about, are so remarkably silent when those same rights and equalities are threatened by our marvellous minorities? When Muslim women are coerced into marriages arranged by male members of their families, not a peep. It is fine to attack homophobic attitudes when promulgated by nasty white skinheads or right wing groups but when anti gay attitudes are openly advocated by Muslims or Afro-Carribeans, hell, let's just keep quiet!

I have not especially made any particular point of researching this issue, so maybe I am totally wrong*, but whenever I have come across a news item about fighting homophobia promulgated by the Muslim or Afro Carribean communities it is always gay men or organisations doing the fighting, Peter Tatchell or the Gay police association or, as in the latest item, some openly gay councellor. They get little support from the wider "liberal" community.

If people claim to be non-racist they should be totally impartial in both their praise and their criticism, their support and opposition. So often when one reads leftist text you get blaming of predudice and marginalisation regardless of the evidence, a curious blindness on cultural beliefs and practices they would denounce in the rest of us and a strange faith that migrants never suffer from the same human failings that we do which might, say, lead them to bend the truth a little to gain entry to the UK. It is hard to avoid the conclusion that much of it is not about justice or sympathy but solely about furthering the leftist agenda.

*As always on bloggoth we are too friggin' lazy but if any of my non existent readers has proper and reasonably succinct EVIDENCE** that I am wrong I will be happy to post it.

**Please look up the word evidence in the dictionary first. I am entitled to talk bollox on my blog as I am paying for the hosting but nobody else is. (Unless you want to send me some dosh of course, the rate is £1 for every word of bollox posted. On second thoughts, make that £2 as left wing bollox is so much more bolloxy than right wing bollox which, if it lacks human compassion, is at least based on reality)

Beware your friends

Most of the frequently quoted sayings in the English language are crap. Only "Power corrupts" is true.

"Those who forget history are doomed to repeat it" I think if you look at history you will find people who remember history repeat it anyway, usually because they imagine they can avoid all the pitfalls. Despite the failure of communism, marxists have not gone away, they will say the problems were due to corruption etc. and not the unworkability of the basic idealogy. Why are those who began it surprised to find that Iraq has turned out to be a mess? You would imagine Vietnam had never happened. Even in the worst sense people will repeat history; bring back the hands off world order and the social conditions and grievances of 1930s Germany and a government bent on using propoganda for its own ends and the Jews or whoever would be in the gas chambers faster than you could say Shalom.

Another one is "My enemy's enemy is my friend". That is not to say a brief alliance for a limited purpose is not sometimes expedient, but the phrase imples, and this is often the reality of such alliances, a rather less critical support. We are so carried away with hatred or mistrust of our enemy that we accord our temporary friends a respect they do not deserve. Should libertarians really be so obsessed with Islam, for example, that they embrace support of anti-libertarian parties or right wing Christian Evangelists who espouse exactly the same interference in everyone's lives and are even more irrational in their beliefs? Maybe we should at least check that, once the common enemy is defeated, our new friends will not be an equal or greater threat.

We are therefore slightly puzzled at the gist of this thread by EU referendum. The Iranian regime is a truly loathsome one and the desire by many Irananians, particularly the young, for a more liberal regime should be supported but should we really be supporting this lot? as it seems from the article that some do.

One of the rare occasions I am inclined to rely on the EU's and the Bush administration's judgement.

Nothing wrong with being Scottish

So writes a commenter on the DT article about the number of Scots in Brownstuff's cabinet.

Once we at Bloggoth would have agreed, but surely Brownstuff as PM is a perfectly valid reason for genocide?

Breaking news

Government leaves 15 Trident nuclear missiles in carrier bag outside Milton Keynes charity shop

A spokesman for Age Concern told bloggoth "It really is very nice of the government to think about the elderly when disposing of its old missiles in advance of the huge multi-billion pound revamp but we are not totally sure there is much demand for them in this town, most of our customers just come for old clothes and paperbacks and storage could be a problem"

More breaking news

British Nuclear Fuels Leaves Bradwell Nuclear Power station in carrier bag outside Skipton charity shop

A spokesman for Oxfam told bloggoth "It really is very nice of BNFL to think about the world's needy when disposing of their obsolete nuclear plants but..

NICE little nukes

We see from this picture that Pakistan's nuclear missiles are called Shahin (Eagle), Hatf (Armour) and Ghauri (after an 18th century king). India's nuclear missiles are called Agni (Fire), Prithvi (Earth) and Sagarika (Born on the ocean). Here in the UK of course, our nukes are named after the three pronged spear.

Aren't people odd? When we at bloggoth get our own nuclear deterrent (which we will as soon as we have successfully adapted that old spin dryer in the garage to enrich Uranium Hexafluoride) we intend to call our missiles "Take that you stinking bastards!"

Next step please

At last we have got rid of him, even if his successor is even worse! Now can we really get rid of him? Or if that fails and with (hopefully) a bit less taxpayer's money wasted on protecting the bastard, really, really get rid of him?

I suppose not, there is never an Islamic terrorist around when you need one!

The not so phantom menace

Somebody in a recent blog comment mentioned the large number of people putting "Jedi" as their religion on census forms.

Ha! Ha! Yes, nothing better than getting back at officialdom by putting total bollox on their time-wasting forms. I mean, nobody seriously gets their religion from a popular Sci-Fi film series do they? Hardly the basis for a real religion there anyway, I've seen most of the Star Wars episodes and the philosophy is sketched in only such detail as is needed to support the daft plot; there is something called The Force which some can master enough to become Jedi knights. They wander about with white light sabres fighting those from the "Dark Side" who have red light sabres and use the Force for evil. That's about it really.

I had a quick look for Jedi on Wikipedia. Bloody hell! If you include the material on some of the links there's a lot there, far more than I recall noticing in the films anyway. Here is one bit of drivel:

The Force has also been described as having two additional aspects: the Unifying Force and the Living Force. These aspects were not expounded upon in the prequels, but in the Expanded Universe they are defined by prominent Jedi philosophies. The Unifying Force essentially embraces space and time in its entirety. The Living Force deals with the directly ongoing niches present in the Force and compassion to living things. These two aspects are not considered canon by many fans, as they are not discussed in the films or film novelizations. The only mention of the term "Living Force" in the films is made by Qui-Gon Jinn in Episode I, and many people consider the word "living" to be a simple adjective describing the Force, just as the use of "almighty God" does not imply the existence of another God. It is clear, however, that Qui-Gon is speaking of the Force concerning the present.

What? If those two aspects are not mentioned in either the films or novels and only one is mentioned just once, where did the second aspect and all the other detail come from? It is amazing what nonsense humanity will latch on to, Scientology is a very good example. There are also people wandering about out there who think that they will be rescued from the end of the world by aliens living on a comet simply because some unbalanced individual said so. If I had to choose I'd prefer to get my religion from Star Wars script writers than Hubbard, at least they could write decent Sci-Fi.

Could it be that some of those who claim to be Jedi are actually serious? Maybe we should start looking at it a bit more closely, it might be the next big threat. Me, I'm off to join the Dark Side.

PS Have you ever noticed that religious nutjob websites are always in black with huge text in different primary colours?

Genesis

Bit tied up at the time so I missed commenting on the news last week that a third of Americans believe in the literal truth of the bible. Other quite recent polls have put it at 63% of Americans and some 70% of Republicans.

Good grief! Isn't it frightening that such a bunch of irrational nutjobs have their fingers on the trigger of the world's greatest nuclear arsenal?

Of course we could be wrong and in an effort to establish the truth we at bloggoth borrowed the great Threaded's time machine and travelled back in time to the beginning of the universe, a whole 6000 years, to interview God while he made the universe.

This is the way the world ends, not with a bang but a Wi...

How will the world end?

In a nuclear holocaust?

When a giant comet strikes the earth?

In an alien invasion?

When the sun explodes?

Or were the religious nutjobs right all along?

This week sees the start of Wimbledon fortnight.

However the world ends

Please

Make it soon!!!

Help! help! The UK is about to be covered in Brownstuff!

God (the non existent atheist one) help us, Lying Scottish Cunt Brownstuff will be our PM in a couple of days. This is the man who chucked away billions of our gold reserves, destroyed the soundest pension schemes in Europe and has done his best to eliminate incentive in the UK.

An educational expert on the TV news recently made a telling point about the low acheivement among poor white boys when he said they often had a pragmatic attitude, for example, they could grasp complex principles when it helped with the latest computer game but had no interest when it was part of their education. Pretty bright kids I would say, why would any child knock himself out to get a moderately paid job when he could get as much with a simple low paid job and tax credits? or get a low paid job when he could just claim benefits? It is LCB who has given us a society where it pays to be a single parent.

He really is a tinkering control freak. The massive blunder of Iraq aside, we much prefer {He Whom etc.}, at least he only deserves stabbing a mere four times. The massive increase in complexity of our tax laws is amply proved by the huge increase in the size of Tolleys:

When Gordon Brown arrived at the Treasury in 1997, Tolley’s Tax Handbook already ran to a muscle-developing 4,555 pages. It has more than doubled in size and now runs out at 9,841 pages. In fact, this year’s budget alone added more than a further 600 pages to this four-volume accountant’s bible.

This would not quite be so bad if it had not been done against a background of promises to slash business red tape. People should consider this evidence of the man's complete dishonesty before giving any credence to his claims to have learned his lessons or pledges to reduce state control. Whatever he does, be sure it will be only with an eye on the next election, given that just a few apparently more economically liberal gestures will easily outflank the Blithering Drivelling (Phony Tory leader) Camoron.

The reasonable sorts among bloggoth's zero readership (you wishy-washy bastards!) might be saying "Surely anyone can change their ideas? We should give him a chance!" People can change their ideas and political viewpoints certainly, but we are not talking about mere ideas here but the fundamental personality of a man and there is not much, other than a few decades or extreme brain washing, that will do that. That's an idea, lets stick the chap in a big box with 24 hour loud music and flashing lights for six months, that might do the trick.

Disease causing bacteria and viruses are all socialists say scientists

Scientists at the Fondation Européenne Pour L'étude Des Maladies Contagieuses in Bern have published the results of a study into the political stance of disease germs which reveals that all are left leaning.

Scientists studied the responses of these germs to a variety of stimuli and have found that the most virulent and dangerous such as those that cause TB or Ebola are raving lefties while even milder germs such as those responsible for the common cold are likely to be Unison members and found at trade union meetings. By contrast, all the useful lower organisms such as yeast and the "friendly bacteria" in your gut or favourite yoghurt drink belong to the libertarian right.

This report comes only a week after studies at the Centro De Pesquisa Dos Peixes in Rio revealed that most Pirahna fish are Muslims.

Mycobacterium Tuberculosis engaged in a group collective dialectic before sallying out to play their tiny part in overthrowing the capitalist world order.

Commenty boxy thing

Post comments here. Money or ecstatic praise only please. Anything remotely critical will be removed.

Get real

So we almost have a new European Constitution, sorry, Treaty. What we know for certain is that:

1. The Citizens of Europe will not be allowed any sort of say in it because some ungrateful sorts refused to go along with the wishes of their lords and masters last time and



2. It will further diminish our sovereignty.

We hear all the usual guff about it being just a tidying up or formalisation of existing rules or providing important safeguards and opt-outs. If you want to see detailed arguments refuting those points I am sure that coven members EU Referendum or DK (links at left) will have done their homework as usual.

Having far more grasp of the fundamental principle here, we at bloggoth say "Don't be silly. You don't need to know a damn thing about the wording of the treaty to know it will transfer far more power to the EU!" Why do spiders spin webs? to give greater choice to flies? If it did not transfer more power to the EU then why would anyone in the EU want a treaty at all?

Another of those occasions when further comment is entirely superfluous. Where did we put our little stamp kit? Oh, yes, here it is!

Darn it

Still cannot chuck anything in my wood pile because that darn Slow-worm has taken up permanent residence. Now it has been joined by a big fat toad.

Get sad or shrink

We are not well pleased with some of bloggoth's coven. No sooner had we added a link to Religious Freaks when the posts dried up completely so we have taken the lawn mower to it. Mr Cillyovitz has decided to stop blogging, so now we have two slots to fill. All applications from silly and anti-religious atheist bloggers considered. (Not just anti-Islam please, we have two good links for that and we hate the more barking sort of Christian too.)

Certain others are somewhat remiss. It is not true that all regular bloggers are sad gits with nothing better to do, some in the coven and on the net generally appear pretty outgoing sorts but we at bloggoth can definitely say that being a sad git helps. Those who cannot find time to blog, please prune your social/family life accordingly. As one of the world's leading experts in being a sad old git, we at bloggoth can advise on techniques for acheiving this, such as only showering or bathing once every six months, offering to shag your friends' dogs, eating carrots during your spouse's favourite TV programs and having unfortunate little accidents during intimacy. If you would like the full course, just fill in the form below and post to xoggoth Towers with the usual cheque for ten quid.

For those blogs who link to us but post infrequently, we have decided to reduce your font size by 1 pixel for every week without a post. Posts about boating holidays that are immediately removed do not count.

                         COURSE APPLICATION

Yes,  I would like to learn to be a sad git and sit alone all day staring at
the wall like xoggoth. Please send me the full course "How to be a sad git".
I enclose a cheque for ten quid.

Name:     ___________________
Address1: ___________________
Address2: ___________________
Address3: ___________________
Town:     ___________________
Postcode: ___________________


I agree that on receipt of the course I will be liable for a further enrollment fee of £1000.

Parsley, Sage, Rosemary and Thyme

Just for the enlightenment of certain people.

It's just that sausage, onion and CARNATION taste really shite!!!

Unevelievable

There really are some MPs who want to block the knighthood of Rushdie. Bunch of wankers.

How many times do people need to have it shown just how utterly inimical this religion is to any concept of freedom? How many more demands for death to someone or other will they listen to before they stop believing it is a religion of peace? How many more global demonstrations over trivia before they stop blaming a tiny minority?

If there is any action needed it is to halt any more migration from Pakistan and protect our citizens by putting much stricter travel restrictions in place to and from that country. We should also stop wasting any more of our money on aid to it, especially given that we need it for protecting Rushdie again.

Arts News

In another exclusive, bloggoth can reveal that the London Philarmonic Orchestra, in an effect to reduce spiralling costs, are to replace their conductor by a life size puppet at all public performances from 1st September. The new puppet uses very simple technology, with the strings pulled by servo motors driven by sound level and frequency.

In an interview their spokesman told bloggoth "Conductors have a role in rehearsing new compositions or new interpretations of standard material, but to be honest, when the orchestra is performing something they have rehearsed and played umpteen times, the general view of the public is quite correct, conductors just stand in front and wave their arms about in time to the music"

bloggoth attempted to get the views of one of the Philarmonic's conductors, but he was already into his second bottle of vodka of the evening. All we could discern was "ahhh fffeck it we bin rumbled fek ah"

Conductors, like dentists, civil servants and politicians are one of a number of professions that have been outed recently as being paid a lot of money for doing absolutely nothing useful at all.

Consolation

Sorry someone did not get an immediate boner from my interspecies porn a bit further down. Hope this item from a London Exhibition is more up his street.

Phwoooor! Well worth a visit. I remember going to the Wellcome Foundation's Institute Of Tropical Medicine on a school trip once. They had a severed foot with a huge guinea worm poking out of it and pictures of a bloke with a left bollock weighing over three hundredweight!

Ha ha ha too late we knicked it

The decision of Nobody's Friend to cease blogging is a major blow as it was one of our favourites. We have decided to honour his memory by NICKING ALL HIS MATERIAL!!! including the Bloggista/readers exchange format starting below.

Your sorrow, my tedium

The bloggoth interview with BBC spokesman Alan Little.

bloggoth: Alan Little, welcome to bloggoth
Alan Little: Good evening
bloggoth: So, erm, quite a while since erm (consults notes) Alan Johnson was kidnapped.
Alan Little: Indeed, an anxious time for his friends and relatives.
bloggoth: So, erm.
Alan Little: .
bloggoth: Alan eh? are the two of you related?
Alan Little: er
bloggoth: After all this time, is there any chance of finding the little girl alive?
Alan Little: .
bloggoth: Does this wrist injury completely rule out his chances of playing at Wimbledon?
Alan Little: What?
bloggoth: zzz...

Your sorrow, my tedium 2

Ok, we are at bloggoth are psychopaths, but are we so unusual?

The world is full of personal tragedies and it always has been. Only since the advent of the mass media, especially television, have we all been obliged to be BORED SILLY by everyone else's personal tragedies!!! Look! I have had crisis and tragedy in my life as have others in my family but we never expected everyone else in the world to be involved in it. Had someone broadcast our problems and had anyone asked me why some appeared indifferent I would have replied "Why on earth should they be concerned?, they don't know me"