Page 16

The ramblings of an old git

bloggoth Mission Statement:

We aim to never raise our sights above the gutter and preferably to stay much lower

NFWFIMBY

Although we at bloggoth have nothing against wind turbines personally, we are sure many are decent and hard working, indeed, some of our best friends are wind turbines, we can understand the concern some feel when the character of their neigbourhoods is changed by a large influx of wind turbines.

However, to indulge in violence of this kind is deplorable. We think it is imperative that the government does something to improve community relations to avoid such hostility, so that wind turbines can co-exist in mutual respect with traditional British power installations such as ugly great pylons, transformers and oil and gas tanks.

A group of wind turbines at prayer.

Some think the strange religious rituals of wind turbines have fuelled distrust. Here we see that they all pray facing the prevailing wind as they say their prophet commanded them to do.

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PS

To lapse into serious, how about providing for better compensation for those seriously affected by major works such as windfarms, power stations, bypasses etc? If something is supposed to be for the general public good it is a fair principle that the costs should be born equally by all and not disproportionately by a small number who happen to be in the wrong place. It might even pay, how much is wasted on consultants and lawyers when every planning decision is lengthily appealed?

Their time has gone?

We see The Devil's Kitchen has had a rant about the implicitly racist idea that a National Black Police Association should even exist.

In the past we would have strongly disagreed and said that the idea that anti-racism must necessarily mean exactly the same rules for majority and minority was simplistic. Minorities needed more protection simply by reason of being minorities because quantitatively equal treatment in a society dominated by one group does not mean quantatively equal effect. If blacks were excluded from 10% of jobs in white owned companies, say, they would be excluded from a significant part of the economy. If whites were similarly excluded from 10% of jobs in black owned companies their overall prospects would be scarcely affected one iota.

However, I am not sure we can go on thinking along these lines because DK is right, there is a racism in having a black police association that goes beyond such logic. The plain fact is that there could never be a white police association because it would be pilloried as racist regardless of its motives. Suppose that over the top positive discrimination and quota policies meant that white officers found themselves being held back in favour of minority officers of lesser ability. Would it not be perfectly reasonable for white police to lobby together to oppose such policies? How is that racist? How would their motives be in any way different from those publicly advanced by the NBPA? Nevertheless, we all know such a lobby group would be pilloried and the motives of its members subject to all sorts of scrutiny that would never be applied to members of the NBPA.

It is a long time since Scarman and we have all sorts of anti-discrimination laws under which any aggrieved member of a minority may take action and if they have a good case there is every probability of union support. Maybe, give the contradictions involved and the resentment stirred up that only increases tensions, it is time to stop public funding of groups like the NBPA.

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Commenty boxy thing

Post comments here. Money or ecstatic praise only please. Anything remotely critical will be removed.

BITS

When I'm dead and gone

Predictable comments in The Daily Telegraph about the {He Whom etc.} leaving office. We particularly liked "In ten years, Tony Blair has ruined what we had built up in a thousand years". Oh really, come on, that's a bit daft isn't it? saying {He Whom etc.} has destroyed all progress in the last thousand years!

Should be at least 400 million years!! We at bloggoth are convinced he was personally responsible for everything bad that has ever happened including the extinction of all those nice little dinosaurs.

View the body

Here is a a selection of soundbites that encapsulate {He Whom etc.}'s premiership. Just two comments:

What an utterly insincere <Devil's Kitchen Mode>fucking cunt</Devil's Kitchen Mode> he was! A highly articulate man knowing in advance what he will be required to say, a man who can calmly gloss over the deaths of tens of thousands of Iraquis due to his idiotic policies just to score political points, manages to look broken up, pause, hesitate as if searching for words whenever occasion demands it. My message to all YOU STUPID STUPID people who voted for this man apart from the first occasion, - what the hell is wrong with you, dimwits??? you don't deserve a vote!!

FFS! Why didn't somebody give him an accordion? It might have taken his mind off screwing up the country.

Holy Cow Batman!

What a nice lot Hindus are. One might say that rational health considerations demanded the culling of Shambo but it's odd that these same rational health concerns that demand the killing of one NICE little cow are nowhere in evidence when the threat comes from other sources. Suddenly, there is "little evidence to suggest the general population was being placed at increased risk" and proper screening of migrants is not necessary.

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Legacy

Today the Northern Ireland assembly begins. At least that is one bit of legacy that {He Whom etc.} deserves credit for. But will he get it? Depends what you mean by legacy.

What the informed political historians will make of his stewardship in twenty or fifty years' time it is hard to say. My own view is that both Northern Ireland and Iraq will not appear to be any more significant than Indian partition or Suez do now, they will look more at his lasting impact on democracy in the UK and say that his most significant achievements were to bring any sense of pride in our nation and public confidence in our political system to new lows.

Or is legacy defined by the viewpoint of the man in the street? There I'm afraid, even if a politician is remembered at all, he is usually defined by just one or two events or simply by speeches of no great importance, for example:

Palmerston Sending gunboats in all the time. No idea where.
Disraeli Being dapper, Jewish and liked by Queen Victoria.
Gladstone Being dower, Scottish and loathed by Queen Victoria.
Lloyd George Being Welsh, something to do with world war 1, shagging a lot and knowing my father.
Ramsey MacDonald First lefty PM. Not the last unfortunately.
Chamberlain "Peace in our time" Appeasement.
Churchill Winning the last war, smoking cigars, looking like a huge baby.
Clement Attlee Weedy little chap. Nationalisation. Welfare state.
Eden Suez.
Macmillan "Winds of change" speech, "Never had it so good" speech, forgetting to apply the Brylcreem before meeting JFK.
Home Arms for South Africa. Face like a skull.
Wilson Smoking a pipe, going cap in hand to the IMF every damn week, continually mentioning the Blackpool conference.
Heath Organ, teeth, shaking shoulders, three day week, selling us out to Europe.
Callaghan Uncouth. Unburied bodies.
Thatcher Miners' strike, Falklands, handbagging French presidents.
Major Economic mismanagement, Various black days, sleeze

So what will they remember of {He Whom It etc.}? Really hard in the present to pick out those one or two defining events/moments but my geuss is:

{He Whom etc.} Iraq, spin, loss of freedoms, tongue up Bush's arse.

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Alliteration, modern dinosaurs, mosquito farms and stuff

Sitting with missus on garden seat trying to think of different names begining with A for all the ants on the garden wall. Doing very well, only another few million names to go. Do all the names of god begin with G? Friggin' 'eck, don't these NICE little creatures take over? We are assailed continuously by squirrels, pheasants, birds of every description, staring at us and DEMANDING food. It is the bird fledging season and last week I came very close to a Tippi Hedron moment. I looked up at the Cherry tree and I swear it was dark with starlings all looking at me malevolently and squawking, Food! food! food! Thank heavens it is not the Cretaceous Period, the dinosaur ancestry of birds is rarely so apparent as when looking at a male Pheasant.

Serves me right for being nice to them. Not alone of course, at the local garden centre there is a huge range of bird feeders and they have now started doing bee feeders. Bee feeders? xoggoth sees a gap in the market here, why not a range of Wasp jam dispensers? We cannot surely be the only ones who love little Wasps? AND mosquitos. Mosquitos are groovy. We keep our own little mosquito farm in the form of a big filled fishtank in the shady space behind the greenhouse. The best thing about it is that it is close to the boundary with THEM. Mosquitos NEVER bite xoggoth, it is a well know fact that they prefer to attack lumpy sorts with lots of horrible cheesy feet or who transform into Ja Ja Binks when drunk.

What is it about us British that we love little animals but just can't stand friggin' foreigners? We are the SANEST most RATIONAL race on the planet if you ask me. Ask yourself, when did any NICE little animal ever shoot anyone?, bomb your capital? lobby to impose its irrational religious beliefs on you? kidnap your pathetically wimpy sailors? expect to be housed and fed from your taxes? think it is your duty to support their farmers or demand to be compensated for events two hundred years ago that its own ancestors participated in and yours didn't?

On a personal level too. People will say they cannot understand those who appear to love their pets more than people. We at bloggoth cannot be bothered with keeping pets (why bother when nature provides them for free?) but can understand. It is true that the right person in life (or even the wrong person for short periods) can bring you the greatest joy that life can hold. But people also bring you the greatest misery. Pets do not run off with their young secretaries, bully you into a breakdown, sack you, swindle you out of your life savings or sue you into penury on divorce.

The most irrational stupid belief one can ever indulge in is that man has an intrinsic value. Yes, individuals can have value by reason of what they are. The rest? Just mouths. What value had this (fictional but not unreal) character?

Lazlo Feher stole a stallion,
Stole him from the misty mountain
And they chased him and they caught him,
And in iron chains they bound him.

Word was brought to Anathea
That her brother was in prison.
"Bring me gold and six fine horses,
I will buy my brothers freedom."

"Judge, oh, judge, please spare my brother,
I will give you gold and silver."
"I don't want your gold and silver,
All I want are your sweet favours."

"Anathea, oh, my sister,
Are you mad with grief and sorrow?
He will rob you of your flower,
And he'll hang me from the gallows."

Anathea did not heed him,
Straight way to the judge went running.
In his golden bed at midnight,
There she heard the gallows groaning.

"Cursed be that judge so cruel,
Thirteen years may he lie bleeding.
Thirteen doctors cannot cure him,
Thirteen shelves of drugs can't heal him."

"Anathea, Anathea,
Don't go out into the forest.
There among the green pines standing,
You will find your brother hanging."

Awful! Scurrilous! What a scumbag to think she could circumvent the law by bribery! We have no sympathy.

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Wrong professions

"My name is Ozymandias, king of kings:
Look on my works, ye mighty, and despair!"
Nothing beside remains: round the decay
Of that colossal wreck, boundless and bare,
The lone and level sands stretch far away.

Old King ozzy had it lucky, if xoggoth had had a hand in building his vast statue that shatter'd visage would probably have been lying in the sand with the first decent wind. Swept the garden path today and most of the concrete, laid about two years ago, came up with the dirt. Same as the wall round the front patio, bits keep falling off. For some reason, despite following instructions in my Reader's Digest DIY Manual, we are completely incapable of any sort of construction involving cement, stone or brick that does not almost immediately crumble.

The missus does not even try. Just as well, as her sense of order is entirely lacking. We have mentioned this before in xoggoth tales. On a Friday I will tidy up and as soon as she gets back it is chaos. There will be a cabbage on the telephone. You cannot get into the loo without moving a large broken blue plastic box marked TENNIS BALLS which will contain papers, stuffed toys, all sorts of stationary and rubbish, everything except tennis balls. You will get into bed and bang your shin on an old hockey stick. She would have made a most interesting architect.

Where are my Longjohns?

This link was nicked from Ranting Stan's blog. Have a look at 2007 down the bottom. Struth! It's going to be -99.9'C for the rest of the year in central England! Glad I live in the South.

PS. If you look at annual averages on left it does not argue against global warming but just the opposite.

Just for Ms Ohara

Everyone else please ignore. You can politely go "Oh gosh, yes, that is interesting, no, really" if you wish.

Grandather's ship. He was an Irish ex-pat living somewhere in Sao Paulo.

PS. Yes it looks fake to me too, but sister says she scanned it from photo in my mother's stuff and I have scanned it from her small scan.

Also found this picture of my father. I would like to apologise unreservedly for the holocaust to any Jews who may be viewing. If you want compensation, I think I have an old spade he left me in the greenhouse somewhere.

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Eh?

Why is it that in the month when bloggoth has been in the doldrums with relatively little posting, the hits have shot up to record levels? The lesson is clear, from now on I shall STFU!

Or not

In praise of double standards and a total lack of any moral principle

From the DT today, Norman Tebbit has refused to forgive the man who crippled his wife in the Brighton bombings. Good for him. If someone had done that to my missus I would cheerfully inject acid into his eyeballs even 50 years later.

Nevertheless, the 1999 Good Friday agreement was totally the right thing to do in the interests of the great majority. Fuck the morality of that decision or any other, only outcomes matter, measurable if possible, based on best estimates if not.

Anyone who thinks consistently is an idiot. We all have emotional responses and predudices, they should have nothing to do with how we act. Those who cannot see beyond current realities should be shot. Those who see everything in terms of moral principles should be shot.

Probably, depending on the carefully considered pros and cons of shooting them anyway. Aaaah, sod it Bang! Moralists, Cuckoos, sod em.

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More abortion please

News today that an increasing number of doctors are refusing to sign abortion consent forms. This appears to be a symptom of the way that our once increasingly rational, i.e. secular society, is being rolled back into a medieval religious state. I wonder why? SAY NO MORE!

We would agree that abortion should not be viewed as just an alternative to contraception, we need somehow to instill a great deal more social responsibility into our youth. But given an alternative between yet another unwanted criminal-in-waiting mouth for the rest of us to feed and abortion I prefer the latter. No, it does not have a damn soul! It is a blog of gunge with scarcely more sentience than a pack of Robertson's Jelly, the Lime flavour anyhow, I admit the strawberry is a bit dim.

Proof of global warming

In Mid to late April the first cuckoo is heard.

In mid to late April the cuckoo arrives...
Traditionally, the bird is expected in Sussex on 14th, ...

To The Times

Dear Sir,

Yesterday, April the 2nd. I heard a cuckoo. Today the little bleeders were at it continually. Is this a record?

Yours Faithfully,

xoggoth

Cuckoo, cuckoo, cuckoo, cuckoo, cuckoo, cuckoo, cuckoo, cuckoo, cuckoo, cuckoo, cuckoo, cuckoo , cuckoo, cuckoo, cuckoo, cuckoo, cuckoo, cuckoo, cuckoo, cuckoo, cuckoo, cuckoo, cuckoo, cuckoo, cuckoo , cuckoo, cuckoo, cuckoo, cuckoo, cuckoo, cuckoo, cuckoo, cuckoo, cuckoo, cuckoo, cuckoo, cuckoo, cuckoo , cuckoo, cuckoo, cuckoo, cuckoo...

Give it a rest!

Why don't you shut the f* up you BORING little bleeders?

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PS

Yeh. We didn't think of it a month ago, ok?. "Darling buds of May" that's acronistic too, the May flowered and dropped its bits all over my lawn weeks ago. Euphemism, if you ask me. Dirty old man.

Hooray! Hooray! More violent immigrants in the UK

I am not referring to those poor little "traumatised" immigrants who are fuelling the crime figures, I mean some really NICE little violent immigrants like this one. that can put a grown man in hospital.

It has long been a matter of national shame in our view that our tally of lethally poisonous creatures is so pathetic. Our most dangerous is the Adder who* (and no disrespect to him/her here as we are sure he/she is doing his/her very best) would not endanger anyone except a small child. Apart from that we have a few creatures that can inflict the odd swelling. We will not count deaths due to allergic reaction here as it is a well known fact that allergies are a self-inflicted result of deviant practices and moral deficiency.

Why can't we have some really lethal spiders and snakes like the Americans and the Australians? What can we do to increase our pathetic tally so that we can hold our heads high in the world again? I intend to write to the PM and suggest that if he really wishes to secure his legacy before he goes he could not do better than begin a massive investment in genetic research to breed some insects/spiders/snakes that are decently lethal. Why be so conventional? Some poisonous starlings, rabbits or earthworms would be great.

In the meantime we will have to be content with these immigrants. One occasion when we at bloggoth really do believe they are an asset.

*Yes, who not which. NICE little creatures are more highly regarded than most people on bloggoth and are therefore who/whom/he/she, politicians are it/which.

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Fat and under threat

We at bloggoth, being a fine figure of a man, are well within normal weight range but would like to lose a few pounds. Accordingly, equipped with our spectacular will power, we have been subsisting on very little. And it makes bugger all difference!

We are a chemical engineer, we know all about the law of conservation of mass and have flung it at every horrible fat bastard we have ever felt like SNEERING at and it is therefore most galling to find that this most basic law of the universe really does not apply to the human body, just as they kept telling us.

Not to be thwarted we have resolved to step up our runs/gymn visits to every day. Running is rather pleasant round here; while the South East is among the most crowded areas in Europe, all the trees hide much of the human activity from view.

How long will this last if the insanity of massive immigration continues. And for what? what possible benefit are people like this or this or this?

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Still in the cave

I'm afraid the general malaise continues here at bloggoth. It is not that we cannot think of anything to blog about, simply that we still do not feel interested enough to bother.

We were, for example, going to comment on last week's news from Iran about the crackdown on women so immoral as to actually wear their hair an inch or two back from their forehead and how this extreme prudishness threatened not just Western promiscuity and decadence, as they like to tell us, but our art and music and everything beautiful and joyful in our culture.

We did not get round to it. Still, plenty of time, Islam has been a miserable irrational joyless creed for Daleks in human form for a thousand years, it is hardly likely to change over the next few months.

French elections

It is reported that there is enormous enthusiam to vote in the current French elections. Excellent, it is heartening when members of a very signicant Western democracy take their responsibilities seriously. Now the centrist candiate has been knocked out they have a simpler left/right choice than we face in the UK. We at bloggoth envy the French and wish them well. We hope that they will make a mature decision after proper consideration of the really important issues.

Like that name, Segolene. "I say Pierre, can you pop down to mill number 9 with the greese gun and give the rear bearing a quick shot of Segolene?, it's running rather hot"

Look you stupid Frogs!, how can you possibly vote for someone who sounds like an industrial lubricant???

In praise of moral relativism

Take 800 words of some daft rant about how every ill is caused by lack of religion (conveniently ignoring the actual statistics) and pepper liberally with the phrase "Moral Relativism". I am sick to death of seeing the phrase "Moral Relativism" dropped into every argument by the religious minded of whatever persuasion.

Wikipedia defines it thus:

In philosophy, moral relativism is the position that moral or ethical propositions do not reflect objective and/or universal moral truths, but instead make claims relative to social, cultural, historical or personal circumstances. Moral relativists hold that no universal standard exists by which to assess an ethical proposition's truth.

Note that this is not at all the same thing as being amoral or acting in one's own interests, simply the rejection that there is some objective standard as the religious would have it. It would not be quite so annoying if this did not come from those whom, it is clear, partake of a considerable degree of moral relativism themselves. Is it wrong to kill? Oh yes, except to defend yourself or others, or to fight for your country or religion of course. Welcome to moral relativism, where the degree of "sin" depends on the circumstances. Some might say that is simplistic, one is adhering to a higher more complex but nevetheless equally undisputable moral principle, that one should never act out of malice and never take another life except when justified. So how does one define "justified" other than by making a human judgement? Once one moves away from adherence to simple principles and starts to get into this degree of subjectivity it seems to me this is moral relativism by another name anyway.

If it is moral relativism to act for the best possible outcome for the most people, if it is moral relativism to legislate taking into account the wishes and needs of today's citizens, if it is moral relativism to go with what seems to work well in society, if it is moral relativism to treat others with respect for no better reason than the good pragmatic one that they will usually treat you the same way, then let us have more of it.

Most problems of society are not caused by pragmatism and practicality but rigid pursuit of theories and ideologies.

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Science corner

This is interesting. Lots of science experiments with common objects, it seems you can measure the speed of light just by putting a young child in a microwave. We suggest that you put your child in a microwave, turn it to 5 minutes at maximum then check that link for further instructions. No point wasting time is there?

Sod off and die tour

More on TV news about departure of {He Whom etc.}. It seems he has briefed Labour MPs lauding (yet again) his own "legacy". What the hell is wrong with the mentality of politicians? If the rest of us leave a job do we send a memo to all our colleagues lauding all our supposed achievements? Who paid for that? I wonder. When the murdering bastard finally goes and swans off round the world earning a fortune by lecture tours will the British taxpayer still be picking up a massive bill for his protection?

One occasion when I truly hope the taxpayer will get very poor value for money.

Ryan with forms

Apologies to my almost zero reader for lack of effort on bloggoth including failure to bother with the stupid rarely used commenty thing but as anticipated we at bloggoth are distinctly depressed. Not a gas oveny sort but a RATTY and distinctly CAN'T BE ARSED sort. What we cannot understand is why anyone else bothers either when our rulers remain so resolutely irrational and self seeking and nothing we say makes a difference. News from the last two days is so typical:

Problems in schools caused by massive immigration of those who cannot speak English and warnings of future conflicts. Despite the negative data on lack of social cohesion, welfare dependency, disease and poor health, crime and prison populations, terrorist threats, pressure on our countryside due to housing needs and on our water supplies, roads and other infrastructure, we are supposed to go on pretending this flood is a great benefit to us economically, even though that assertion is contrary to a basic principle of statistics.

We see British soldiers killed in the pointless war in Iraq on such a regular basis it does not even make the headlines anymore and yet are supposed to be vastly interested in the fate of one immensely pampered privileged young man whose wealth and fame has absolutely nothing to do with his own merit. How long are we going to meekly put up with funding these parasites on our society?

Ah! If only we had American gun laws! If only we at bloggoth had a couple of automatic rifles. Not that we would be doing a Michael Ryan and indiscriminately shooting our neighbors who are mostly very pleasant nor would we be shooting anyone on the basis of appearance. We really don't care what nationality/race/religion/party people are just as long as they are not a sodding useless parasite, a frigging state pen-pusher grabbing our money and wasting our time with endless forms or one of the too many imposing their crappy lefty opinions/religious beliefs/rigid view of society on the rest of us.

This would make it very difficult, clearly I would have to wander down my local High Street handing out 50 page questionaires at gunpoint. Those who did not fill them in satisfactorily would have to report to the High Street again the next day for INDISCRIMINATE shooting.

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Buy my new book

Bit of a theme here but no matter. I blame him at They Will Devour Us, his pervy cut price genie started it.

I was idly flicking through the DT news and "Cameron threatens to drink urine" leapt out at me. Quite right, I have no idea what the Dithering Blithering (phony Tory leader) Camoron is good for otherwise. Then I realised it actually said Cameroon threatens to jail urine drinkers." What I can't understand is how on earth anyone can write a best selling book that deals with this old idea as if it is something new.

Still, we at bloggoth are always on the lookout for ways to make money that involve little effort. A quick search for the term on Google brought up "Your search.... - did not match any documents" so my latest book on the miracle cure that will make you live to be 120, "Spunkotherapy", is now available only from bloggoth enterprises - a snip at £25 a copy. First come, first served.

More uninteresting news

I suppose if I want comments I ought to try and comment on things that interest normal people, like football, even though I am totally uninterested. Apparently a ball that was in the 1966 world cup has died. Got a puncture after all this time I suppose. Oh yeh, there's a headline here Rooney double keeps dream alive for United and England. I suppose the real Rooney couldn't make it due to being off visiting some elderly prostitutes, just as well his double could play a bit.

Pah!

There was an item on TV news this morning about Ella Fitzgerald. I remember being loaned a video that featured a performance by the "Queen Of Scat". What a disappointment! She just stood there singing "beddoo bee beedo bop a doo.." and didn't do even the smallest pooh, not that I could see anyway.

Another disappointment to rank with that Stroke Club I went to that just had a lot of old slow moving people.

Make 'em up

We at bloggoth tend to watch the Channel 4 news at 7pm as The Simpsons is at 6* and who wants to watch the BBC's version of anything anyway? Poor old John Snow. John reveals some new scandal/cockup about/by the government and the next bit is predictable. John acidly reports "We asked xxx for an interview but nobody was available."

Tonight's government cockup was the NHS training fiasco. What a f* disaster the NHS is, record amounts of our money pouring in and we are being warned that in a few years we will have to pay for treatment. Personally, I would be happy with either the American model or the Swedish model of health provision, it's just paying for the former while still contributing taxes to fund the latter I object to.

Bleedin' cowards! Government ministers unwilling to argue their own case deserve no quarter. In English law those arrested are warned "it may harm your defence if you do not mention when questioned something which you later rely on in court" Clear enough, silence may be taken as guilt and so it should be! I propose that if somebody of suitable seniority from government is not prepared to defend themselves on prime time news TV, that this is taken as a guilty admission. In each such case a suitable object should be appointed to represent the minister concerned and admissions of guilt be added as necessary.

Patricia Hewitt admits that government policies on the NHS are a total disaster.

John Prescott admits he's an ugly fat waste of public money

*Although we have never forgiven them for that jibe about Sussex women.

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Drivelly things people like to quote

First they came for the Jews
and I did not speak out
because I was not a Jew.
Then they came for the Communists
and I did not speak out
because I was not a Communist.
Then they came for the trade unionists
and I did not speak out
because I was not a trade unionist.
Then they came for the plastic bottles and cans
but I got my weeks mixed up and
left out newspaper and cardboard instead
so they left it.
Bloody councils.
I don't know what we pay our council tax for.

Back

Commenting is ok again it seems. Not that we will notice. Sob!

Carpet snails

Many thanks to the commenter who pointed out that my VIZ beetle is in fact a Carpet Beetle, who will presumably be one of many munching my carpets. Ta for the warning, but that is of no importance to xoggoth who does not give a fig that his carpets look munched especially as, assuming they have not yet evolved enough to subsist on polypropylene, the beetles must be eating the only fitted woollen carpet we have which is a crap flowery pattern anyway, the missus chose it. From now on, we will be leaving little saucers of milk and Mars Bars out for these NICE little creatures in case they get bored with the carpet.

While looking for pictures of the Carpet Beetle on Google we came across this blog. Clearly a chap with the same daft obsessions as xoggoth as a high percentage of his posts are about SLUGS and other NICE little creatures. (But his pictures are much better) A welcome addition to our bloglist at left. Getting crowded. Who to chuck off? Hmmm, whose blog update rate is even SLOWER than a slug in a coma? Hmmmmm!

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Gentlemen, we can rebuild him. We have the technology

You will not hear it stated publicly of course but behind the scenes even the Bush/Blair administrations are admitting privately that the invasion of Iraq has been a disaster, every day sees an escalation of violence and now the military are resorting to walls to keep the factions apart. The very last thing that was needed in that country was the removal of the one man who could hold it all together.

That man was hanged some months ago and most thought that was the end of the matter, however, bloggoth has learned of advanced plans to rebuild Saddam Hussein and restore him to power in Iraq. It seems that his body, far from being immediately cremated to prevent it being used as a focus for militant groups as the world was told, was shipped to the US and put into cold storage. Scientists there have already restored the brutal dictator to a semblance of life and are confident that with the addition of some bionic parts, he can not only rule Iraq again and rescue it from catastrophic civil war but rule it with a firmer grip than ever before taking the struggle to the real enemy in Iran.

Your bloggoth reporter has been to see the great man, and although he has yet to be fitted with many of the essential qualities necessary to restore order, such as the abdominally launched neutron bombs and the buttock mounted laser canon, was truly overawed with his malevolent potential. In a few months, things may change mightily in Iraq. You heard it on bloggoth first.

60 billion dollar Saddam Hussein restores order in Baghdad

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PS

If you want to read sensible comment on the Iraq situation, please see Military Rule For Iraq? from Rastaman. We at bloggoth have made a resolution to make very few sensible comments ever again as we are on a countdown to senility.

PPS Is it Thursday?

Say the law

The voice in the dark began intoning a mad litany, line by line, and I and the rest to repeat it. As they did so, they swayed from side to side in the oddest way, and beat their hands upon their knees; and I followed their example. I could have imagined I was already dead and in another world. That dark hut, these grotesque dim figures, just flecked here and there by a glimmer of light, and all of them swaying in unison and chanting, “Not to go on all-fours; that is the Law. Are we not Men? Not to suck up Drink; that is the Law. Are we not Men? Not to eat Fish or Flesh; that is the Law. Are we not Men? Not to claw the Bark of Trees; that is the Law. Are we not Men? Not to chase other Men; that is the Law. Are we not Men?”

The Island of Dr. Moreau

Beware the cuckoos

Those with elderly female relatives have been advised to inspect them very carefully at regular intervals. The warning from social services follows discovery of a number of cases where mothers or grandmothers have been abducted and substituted with different old ladies.

"This has become an increasing problem with declining provision of free care by the state and increasing lack of social responsibility" a spokesman told bloggoth "Those who cannot be bothered to look after their own elderly or are concerned at the way that their inheritence will be spent on care home fees are simply stealing the old ladies of better off or more caring families and substituting their own. This ruse almost always works because after a certain age, once they get that perm, all old ladies look completely identical. In most cases the abducted old ladies are forced to pose as their own relatives. These strangers then quickly suffer an 'accidental' fall down the stairs leaving an intact inheritance"

bloggoth interviewed a family in Twickenham who suffered the cuckoo ploy repeatedly. "We did wonder why mum was eating so much and kept changing her clothes so often" Mrs Wragg told us "then my husband looked in the unused coal shed and found six old ladies in there. They had been told to come in for meals in turns."

Old ladies shopping yesterday

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Doh

We at bloggoth have a nice new shiny computer with wide screen. Doesn't bloggoth look splendid? What? you don't have a NICE NEW WIDE screen? WE sneer at you all!

We were going to post some rubbish to christen shiny new wide bloggoth but unfortunately we have spent hours trying to track down an apparent virus problem reported by the new virus scanner on every bloggoth page, which is only solved by removing Haloscan commenting.

PS. We are pretty sure there is nothing wrong with Haloscan as their jscript does not even run until somebody comments (a rare event here) and that this is a completely spurious detection. (Note to virus detection prog writers, src= does not necessarily imply an image)

Update. Others found problem too!

Gun law

Whether the Yanks curb guns or not is entirely up to them, but some honesty would be nice. I can relate to any law abiding citizen who wants to keep a gun so he can shoot any bastard who tries to break into his home or attack his family. Although against the deliberate use of the death sentence by the state, I have no sympathy with anyone who meets his end as a result of serious crime. If you don't want to get shot by the householder, don't burgle his property, it isn't that difficult. It's just that some of the other arguments advanced don't make entire sense.

Restricting gun availability won't make any difference as it will will take them out of the hands of law abiding citizens while others will have no difficulty getting them anyway. Partly true, I have no doubt that professional criminals with the right contacts will still get hold of them, but generally these are not the sort who set out to kill as many people as possible and are more likely to kill their fellow/rival gangsters than the general public. The crimes like the current one are committed by misfits who would not have underworld contacts and would probably have no access to guns at all if they were not so readily available. It is a matter of plain statistics, probability of a gun massacre is probability of a potential perpetrator multiplied by the probability he can obtain a gun.

It is necessary as a safegaurd against an overbearing government. Right! Joe Average with his assault rifle against the firepower of US Government troops. Do me a favour. Freedom of the US citizen must surely be far better gauranteed by proper political balances including between states and the central state and the way the military is controlled and regulated.

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More lessons from xoggoth's garden

Pheasants have been coming to our bird table for a few years now. They are magnificent birds but the numbers are starting to get out of hand. Yesterday we had three males and five females wandering about and two of the males had a big fight in my bonfire patch. Our garden is becoming their home in the day.

This is because they are fleeing increased persecution by foxes in the woodland behind and nothing to do with the fact that we keep feeding them.

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Oo' you looking at?

Why has the name of the Pansy flower been adopted to mean a soft or effeminate man?

If this one was a bloke I wouldn't take him on!

Happiness is .. trusting the government?

We at bloggoth have to say that we are perplexed by this study that shows that Britains are getting unhappier and are among the most unhappy in Europe. For a start didn't we have a survey only a year or two ago that showed the opposite? No, we cannot be bothered to find it! We are going to spend ages searching Google to satisfy ZERO readers? Do you think we are stupid?

Apart from that, we cannot understand the thrust of it that blames all this unhappiness in Europe on our distrust of the government:-

while the study claimed that where trust in the government was lacking, in countries such as Italy, even the well-off tended to be unhappy.

Come on? Lacking trust in the government is a major source of unhappiness? We at bloggoth utterly loath the government and wish them all dead (painfully) but we cannot honestly say they impinge enough on our lives enough to make us unhappy. We are really pissed off with the way they pinch all our money and make us spend vast amounts of time filling in poxy forms, but actually we rather ENJOY loathing them, it gives us a sense of purpose. Surely more normal (i.e. inferior to xoggoth) people have better things to occupy their pathetic little brains than hatred of the government?

The Italians are the unhappiest nation? Incomprehensible. Like most Brits*, we at bloggoth admire the Italians above all European nations. An incredible culture, marvellous climate, a laid back attitude to the law and paying taxes, very few immigrants/minorities causing tensions, great lifestyle. What is a bit of top-level corruption here and there? Pah! This survey is total bollox.

*note: There is a survey we recall that says that but (you geussed it) we can't be arsed to look for that either.

PS Denmark, Sweden, Finland happiest? I thought Scandinavians comitted suicide several times a day. Follow "what can the Danes teach us?" link from that page and all is not as it appears, they have very low expectations. Oh jah, life is not so bad. I might not shoot myself until teatime. Jah. Bang.

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Time to grieve

Here is a picture, taken with my USB microscope, of a NICE little fly. Of course we did not kill it but we are responsible for its death. Plainly the xoggoth little insect trapped in window rescue patrol did not do its duty with the necessary alacrity. We will be holding a full public enquiry into this failure.

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PS, which would be after the item below if bloggs weren't written upside down.

As these points seems to be confusing in our idiotic world:-

Whether something is impressive or beautiful is a subjective judgement that should properly be made without consideration of who the author was.

Whether a crime statistic is true or not depends only on the reliability of the figures and has nothing to do with the ethnic origin of the perpetrators.

When us engineers take over the world we might get a bit of objectivity.

Some of Hitler's pictures are marvellously atmospheric. He was no Leonardo but beats boring Churchill into a cock hat in my view.

Albert Speer's buildings all looked like public toilets in various different sizes. This one looks like it was built for Elephants. As Elephants come from non-Aryan countries they probably had to wear yellow trunkbands.

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Brian Ferry

I see that Brian Ferry has praised the Nazis.

What! Supporting the holocaust? Lauding the gassing of the congenitally disabled? Lamenting the failure to introduce the Thousand Year Reich? What he actually said was:-

My dear gentlemen, the Nazis knew how to put themselves in the limelight and present themselves.

"Leni Riefenstahl's movies and Albert Speer's buildings and the mass parades and the flags - just amazing. Really beautiful."

Just as well he didn't add that they made the trains run on time or we could have really thrown the book at him.

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Drink this, snort that

Just catching up with my VAT and noticed on a receipt from Halfords for some spray on rust treatments (company van) "CHECK AGE????". Bloody hell, what will these kids be inhaling next? At least they won't go rusty!

Oh no

Found on the Devil's Kitchen.

Your Personality is Very Rare (INFP)

Your personality type is dreamy, romantic, elegant, and expressive.

Only about 5% of all people have your personality, including 6% of all women and 4% of all men
You are Introverted, Intuitive, Feeling, and Perceiving.

How Rare Is Your Personality?

6% of all women and 4% of all men??? Oh no! I am a lady boy!!!!

PS xoggoth is feeling and perceptive???? I feel insulted. Now I know it's a spoof test!

PPS Although we do spend loads of our time in this hot weather using a jam jar to rescue NICE little flies from the window. That's feeling I suppose, it's just crappy people we don't give a shit about.

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Must be my time of the month

As we are clearly a lady boy, we are allowed to change our minds a lot. We have put The Devils' Kitchen back on the blogroll as he hasn't done a long boring fisk of Polly Toynbee for ages and a recent item on the way the US is trying to impose its laws on the rest of us has our wholehearted support. We at bloggoth have made similar comments a while back here and here but nobody does these things quite like DK. Our version was too refined, (we are a LADY after all with a woman's sensitivities) Please bloggothify by substituting "golly gosh darn it" for f* thoughout this quote and bursting into tears:-

Fucking hell, I am so pissed off.

When are our politicians going to grow some fucking balls?

If we aren't being pushed around by the fucking EU or bloody Iran, then we are being shoved all over the place by the fucking Americans! When are our politicians going to stand up for the rights and interests of this country, rather than constantly kow-towing to the wishes of everyone else?

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Uninteresting news

Madonna returns to Malawi orphanage where she adopted her son. Quite right, we don't complain nearly enough I say! If there is something wrong with it after less than a year, take it back and demand a replacement. Don't take any bullshit either Madonna, if they don't have another decent one in stock demand a refund.

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So are they all; all moderate men

I see a number of significant bloggers are on a blogroll headed "Fatwahable". Beheadings? Nah! The Muslim blog in question is at pains to point out that is not what fatwah means, not in this case at least, all they have in mind is applying pressure to get those blogs they believe insult their religion shut down. Scroll down and there appears to be nothing obviously fanatical for this you see is a MODERATE Islamic blog!

So what does moderate mean in this context? Look at the quotation at top left about striving to be radical Muslims, for Islam is the "solution to the worlds problems" Or at top right about religion being bound up with politics. Or the "Fatwahable list" itself. Not unreasonable to object to sites that advocate extreme measures against ordinary Muslims or are pointlessly abusive I would agree, but is Melanie Phillips in that category? Or Cox and Forkum? Not that I've noticed anyway, they simply argue against the more radical versions or extreme actions of the creed they strongly disagree with as they should have every right to do.

Then there's this little gem:- "Others fail to accept the message of Allah, stating it ‘kills equality, freedom and secularism’, when in fact they are just refusing to accept that which would remove them from their den of iniquity and assist them in ceasing their sinful ways" Ah yes, so we none of us have anything to fear, provided of course we avoid sin, where sin is defined entirely by you and your prophet! No concept there that in a free society, provided we do not harm others, we might actually be entitled to indulge in what you term sin?

But most Muslims are moderate aren't they? Let's be reasonable, the suicide bombers and Christian schoolgirl beheaders are scarcely the norm. The barbarism and intolerance of Saudi Arabia, Iran and Northern Nigeria are not typical of Islamic states either, good lord no. Muslim countries like Pakistan or Egypt are tolerant of Christians and others aren't they? Oh ok, bad examples. How about the Maldives? Oh dear! Oh look, here's a couple, Yemen is moderate enough as is Morocco in that they allow others to worship. After all, nobody really needs to risk a death sentence by trying to convert a Muslim do they? And you can possess a bible provided it's in a permitted language. And does it really matter if you have no say in the laws of your country?

This is the way it is throughout the great majority of the "moderate" Islamic world, whether it is "moderate" bloggers or "moderate" Islamic states, other views are tolerated entirely on Islam's terms. Freedom of religious worship, including freedom to leave Islam, should be a principle, not a whim to be bestowed or removed by the authorities. Equal say with others in the direction of society should be available to all, not just those of a specific faith. The freedom, tolerance and democracy touted by adherents of this irrational creed bear no resemblance to those things as understood by the rest of us.

We would on principle stick the entire "Fatwahworthy" blogroll among the bloggers at left, except that there are a couple there we have no wish to link to, and we cannot be bothered to check the others we are not familar with. However, we are restoring Rastaman and adding the excellent Melanie Phillips and Cox and Forkum. (Great cartoons too)

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Japanese whalers harpoon John Prescott

The British government has protested in the strongest terms to the Japanese government after a Japanesese "scientific" whaling ship sailed up the Thames yesterday in search of another stray whale. This was a serious breach of UK law in itself, but what has elevated this incident into a major diplomatic row was the mistake by the whaling crew when they harpooned what they took to be a Minke whale but was actually John Prescot enjoying a few quarts of Newcastle Brown on the terrace of the Houses of Parliament.

Unfortunately, none of the Japanese crew spoke English and it appears that they ignored the shouts by MPs, thinking them to be part of the usual British squeamishness on this issue. By the time the police stopped the proceedings the overpaid fat bastard without portfolio had already been almost completely flensed. Police launches continually patrol the Thames outside parliament and the extremely tardy police response has been heavily criticised by government officials. The superintendant of the River Police who was on duty at the time defended his men, telling bloggoth, "We got to the ship very quickly but unfortunately none of my men were immediately able to board the vessel on account of being helpless with laughter."

bloggoth approached several people, including a representative of Greenpeace, for comment on this latest Japanese atrocity but was unable to find anyone who could stop laughing long enough.

This photograph taken from the embankment opposite the Houses Of Parliament shows Britain's best loved politician, John Prescott, being flensed by Japanese Whalers yesterday.

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As you sow...

I daresay others reading about the nappy-headed hos debate in the US were reminded of the film Rush Hour where a bunch of black guys all greet each other with "Whassup nigger?" but when Chan uses the same expression, only with the intent of fitting in, he finds himself in a fight.

I see little point in a Brit discussing the rights or wrongs of this particular case, whether a comment is racist or merely thoughtless must surely depend on the motive of the commenter and I know nothing about this bloke and have even less interest in finding out.

Sticking with the practicalities, the reality is that while blacks themselves continue to use these derogatory terms so freely about themselves when black culture is so influentual in our societies they should hardly be surprised if they sometimes leak out.

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Pathetic? 2

Apart from a few scrapes with yobs when we were temporarily insulated from fear by our usual uncontrollable rage in such situations, we at bloggoth have never been in any real physical danger. A prolonged threat with time to dwell on it is an entirely different thing. When you do not really know how you would react yourself it seems unreasonable to be too critical of others. However, it seems that some with more right to comment, those who do or have served in the forces, rather share the common opinion of our pathetic sailors. Some don't, see the navy's debate here.

Role model

Now we have been freed by semi-retirement, we at bloggoth are going to seed, long haired, unshaven, rambling and determined to go into terminal decline in style. The question is, who should be our role model?

PS This is apparently Rasputin's nob

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Strange people

In one of our various voluntary things with children (we at bloggoth have a CRB certificate amazingly) we helped out with a class who were creating computer animations. We never quite got the hang of supervision, us anarchists are not really equipped with the correct set of values one is supposed to have for this purpose.

One odd eleven year old did a neat animation of a boy and girl walking in the trees but in the 5 minutes I spent with a dim kid trying to get him started, he added this huge "thing" that shot out of the boy into the girl accompanied by big grins and expanding eyes on both. I found it hilarious. Clearly what I should have done was reported him so he could go on a "potentially at risk" register for suspiciously inappropriate sexualised behaviour that required close monitoring. I have heard of one teacher who had no less than 18 children in her class on the at risk register. Why not all of them? Very lax behaviour by a fully paid arm of the state in my view. We at bloggoth look forward to the day when there is a CCTV in every room of every household and we are all interviewed weekly using lie detectors to ensure we do not have any inappropriate thoughts.

PS. I later heard the same boy almost got his parents reported to social services by turning up at school two days running with different suspicious bruises. The school's embarassment was only saved when one teacher found the "bruising" came off with a handkerchief. Bright kid. We at bloggoth would be head of Astra Mega Corp Inc by now had we succeeded in getting our parents jailed at the earliest opportunity.

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Busy

(Between lounging about drinking vodka and wandering Sussex countryside in global warming sun) doing our shopping cart for business website. It is taking ages, pity certain other people think all there is to websites is sticking a few pictures on. bloggoth (small b, we believe all letters are equal) is a bit on hold.

Funny how bloggland generally bursts into life when we all go back to work. Maybe others also find writing little bits of blog in notepad during working hours a welcome relief from tedious stuff with SQL or whatever their own individual work hell consists of. Once we are no longer chained to our desks, or stuck away from home in the evenings totally knackered in a town as tedious as Somewhere in England Town we find better things to do with our time. This does not bode well for bloggoth as we at same are now semi-retired and if we cannot be arsed, we cannot be arsed. We SNEER at you all, wage slaves!

Explosions of good stuff from some bloggers at right though. Ever fickle, we have modified the list, adding EU Referendum as it looks good and removing Devil's Kitchen because, frankly, those over long swearathons are getting pretty tedious and predictable and we have realised that we loath the minutiae of politics anyway. What really is the point of all this fisking of ghastly lefties and government sorts?, we will never change the bastards by argument. There is only one cure for undemocratic and overbearing government, in 3 easy steps.

Shoot all politicians and all the useless civil servants and hangers on in departments, ministries, quangos etc.
Bury in huge pit and level with bulldozers
Plant dahlias

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So now we know

The treatment that caused the cringe-making behaviour by our brave sailors.

Easy to criticise from the safety of a keyboard I know, but it does not sound like a lot compared with treatments meted out to troops in previous generations who stubbornly refused to give more than name, rank and serial number. Or was that a myth made up by Pinewood Studios? Did the real Alec Guiness character apologise for being in Singapore at all and pledge to build the bridge over the river Kwai to the glory of the great Japanese nation?

It is clear from this week's typical news, not to mention from weeks of viewing of Street Wars/Car Wars that we are sending the wrong people. Instead of these wimps we should be sending the REAL men from our society, the drug gangs, the violent Saturday night drunks, the lawless estate youths and the football hooligans! After a few hundred of these heros had rampaged up and down the streets of Teheran, shouting "assssshr yoo eeerrr fffuckc yoyu fuccc baaastfd aaaa", kicking in shop windows, setting fire to cars, throwing chairs, raping ten year olds, shooting pregnant women for parking in the wrong place, stabbing fourteen year olds and engulfing the area in a tidal wave of vomit the Iranians would think twice about tangling with the UK again.

And the really great thing is, if the Iranians did send the troops in and shoot the lot, nobody would miss 'em.

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Respect - not

So the hostages are free. What is behind all the sickening apologies by the sailors? As devout cowards we at bloggoth would not blame anyone for saying the required things if they were threatened, they are just words after all, they were not being asked to bayonet babies. But if they were well treated and not coerced? Something does not add up. I geuss we will not know until they are home.

In a statement {He Whom etc.} said there had been no negotiation but that he bore the Iranian people no ill will, Iran was a proud nation etc. etc. In this, as in every other matter under the sun, he does not speak for me and I suspect many others. We will not soon forget this.

More to the point, can we expect a thorough review of procedures to ensure that should any similar actions be undertaken by the Iranians in future that they will be met by a suitably fatal response?

Unbelievable

I had never heard of this case until it was mentioned on CUK. Must have missed reading the paper that day. Most Christian to bankrupt a family to repair a church roof! Moreover, this appears to be part of a concerted action to force individuals all over the UK to pay for church maintenance regardless of whether they have any interest in this damn institution or not. More detail here.

I do not see why maintaining churches, unless they are buildings of significant architectural or historic interest and open to the public, should come out of the taxes I pay either. C of E church goers, pay for your own frigging churches!

High time the last role of the C of E in government was removed from a fully elected lords too.

Fat fuel

We at bloggoth have once again been devoting our enormous intellect to saving the world. It is a great responsibility having more brain power than the next 3bn people put together.

What are the two major challenges facing the UK today? That's right! Global warming and obesity. Surely the second is at least a partial solution to the first. We want renewable fuels, so what could be better than using the fat inside fat people? All scientists need to do is work on a suitable injected liquidiser and bob's your uncle! Just inject, leave an hour or two, stick in a catheter and a fat person could run a car or bus for hundreds of miles. The great thing about this scheme is that fat people would love it, they could carry on eating as much as they liked and people would admire them for saving the planet.

Britain's best loved politician, John Prescott, in front of the new Virgin Human Biodiesel train which he will shortly be powering on its first test journey from Plymouth to Aberdeen and back.

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Amazing medical news!

It seems that researchers have used stem cells to grow a human heart valve. It is said that within ten years there will be the capability of growing all sorts of human organs. Isn't this area of research amazing? Just think how this science will benefit humanity! I think it will be a major boon to those of us who are getting on a bit and no longer enjoy all the physical pleasures we used to take for granted.

We will be able to buy blow up dolls with REAL fannies!! We at bloggoth will be very grateful, no more chilly wandering around cemeteries at night with a spade and a set of scalpels trying to find something reasonably fresh!

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Nuke em 2

Many think that the UK's response to scumbag Iran is pathetically feeble. Ranting Stan thinks we should send the navy in. Not sure how practical that is, have we got much of a navy anymore? is it a match for Iranian forces in their own backyard? would such action be supported by the US if the timing did not suit their purposes? it would not be the first time they have deliberately scuppered British military actions.

Still, like many, I agree entirely with the sentiment. Actually, Stan may be right. As a nation we have become just too damn civilised, perhaps we should forget about the practicalities and just get even.

Ah well, at least let's all join the protest outside the Iranian embassy. Details at the Devils' Kitchen. Ah yes! how very British and civilised! "Let them go", "Free the hostages", "Free the navy 15".

Never such restraint on the other side is there? In officially sanctioned protests in Teheran it was "Death to Britain" and rocks and fire crackers being flung. Elsewhere (when they are not engaged in really killing people) protests by the Islamic world call for death and genocide and domination.

I wonder how long it would be before we were arrested for inciting race hatred if I or any white Britain turned up at the protest with banners based on those actually used by Muslims which we let them get away with:

Butcher those who mock secular society
Slay those who offend against rational thinking
Arab countries will pay, demolition is on its way
Is my immune system anti-Islamic for resisting disease?
Innocent Iranian citizens? Or Iranian nazi gangsters?
Send the mushroom cloud from the sky on Iran!
Islam go to hell!
Islam is the cancer, democracy is the answer
Behead those who insult liberal values

Real freedom of speech in the west often seems to be reserved for the minorities who threaten it. If our government and the authorities are never prepared to stand up for our own freedoms and values against the irrational and malign creed of Islam and the nations enslaved by it, how long can they last?

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Honoured geust

Gordon is still here. Actually, despite the nasty things bloggoth has said about him it really is a great honour to have the Chancellor Of The Exchequer here for dinner. But Gordon, can you just eat the shepherd's pie my wife has made and stop doing that?

Oh no! Now David Milliband has dropped by!

We do apologise for the invasion of bloggoth by cabinet ministers this week. We will get some pellets from the garden centre to deal with this infestation and normal service will be resumed as soon as possible.

Hi

Another glorious global warming day sitting with missus on garden seat destroying our livers today and who should drop by but our favourite chancellor, Mr Bogie Eating Lying C*nt Brownstuff.

Hello Gordon, nice to see you.

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2012

I do not think that London is doing what is necessary to ensure we are all prepared for 2012. Hab we enough rocks to hide all de sinner men? what provision hab been made to extinguish de riber when it burnin'?

Stadia? Athlete's accomodation? What are you talking about? Oh that! Don't be stupid! who cares about the London Olympics? We might just as well stop wasting any more time and money on that, I am referring to the REAL event of 2012, the second coming. Who cares if Daly Thompson wins the marathon* if fire is pouring from the skies? We at bloggoth have been looking at the evidence that 2012 is THE year with our engineer's eye and we have to say we find it extremely convincing, the increased incidence of aliens probing and taking sperm samples from captured humans for example.**

*Note 1 :This might not be a realistic example, despite our huge erudition, we have to admit we have little interest in athletics and don't know much about it.

**Note 2: We at bloggoth frequently hang around in our garden on clear nights hoping that aliens will come and stick big probes up our bottoms and sample our sperm! No luck so far.

PS. That link is well worth a look. In these matters one can never be totally sure but we think it is a spoof. For a start it has a chap called Kev. And a professor Smelyakov.

PPPS

Just in case the 2nd coming is another false alarm and the 2012 olympics do look like happening and if when it is all a typical British shambles with nothing finished because half the money has been siphoned off by Bogie Eating Lying C*nt Brownstuff to give to hard working families who have never done a day's work in their lives and contractors have pocketed the rest, why don't we just pretend to be out when all those foreign athletes turn up? It works with Jehovah's Witnesses and carol singers. Then afterwards we just award all the medals to ourselves. Those horrible foreign people didn't deserve them anyway.

All understanding is all one and mostly obvious

An update on Wolfie's blog is a rare thing but when it happens, often well worth a look. This one is on the the growth and inevitable collapse of society. Puts all our mundane obsessions about taxes and Islam and CCTV cameras into perspective. We at bloggoth are far too disinterested in human society to comment seriously on such intellectual heaviness, we continually look forward to the day when our fellow humans (not us of course) meet that great extinction event they so richly deserve and leave the world to NICE little millipedes and such but nevetheless it all rings a bell.

It is curious how all human thinking is so compartmentalised and categorised. The first occasion I really twigged this was when studying and using numerical methods at university and following jobs. For those not familiar with the term (good grief!) numerical methods are mathematical techniques for approximate solution of differential equations, often equations governing real life systems. There are all sorts of fancy names, Interpolation, Euler method, Newton-Raphson, Modified Newton Raphson, Runge-Kutta etc.etc. but after you have been doing it long enough you realise that basically there is just one numerical method which can be summed up as "approximate by a straight line".

Thus it is with many things in maths. Children learn to do arithmetic at school. Congratulations! you can add, subtract, divide and multiply, time to move on to something completely different - algebra! But it isn't something completely different, it is just ways to look at arithmetic. Because it is presented as something totally new that has no bearing on what they have done before, kids are flummoxed. When I tutored in Sidney I had kids who were totally baffled by simple questions like y=5x, if x=6, what is y? Because it was ALGEBRA it was frightening and it HAD to be complicated. When I said forget x, call it eggs, you have 5 boxes of eggs and each box has 6 eggs in it, how many eggs have you got? they went, "Oh yeh! 30!

In the same way we compartmentalise science and humanities as if they had completely different rules. They don't. Sure, everyone is different and unique (so YOU like to think anyway) but treated as whole, the differences cancel out and levelling to average behaviours, prediction of human society is a problem not fundamentally different to that of predicting formation of sandbanks in a stream, population of foxes or trajectories of asteroids. As we say, a most interesting and thought provoking post by Wolfie there and one we shall be thinking about now we have more time, but nevetheless, if that cannot be mostly explained by a book on control engineering we shall eat our hat.

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Milliband

All the political talk at the moment is about David Milliband, supposedly the man the Tories fear and Labour's potential saviour from the bogey eating electoral doom that is the Lying C*nt Brownstuff.

Let's be serious here, what possible qualities does Milliband have to lead our country? Let's sum up shall we?

He has an enormous mouth filled with acres of top gums that make him look like an enraged chimpanzee.

He has thin eyebrows that meet in the middle like a lady boy version of a plastic model of the hunchback of Notre Dame.

He has hair like a shoe brush.

He has thicker lips than the offspring of Lesley Ash and a Mayan demon god.

He has this funny little shadow on his top lip like an unshaved thirteen year old's.

What??? I can hear my non-existent readers cry! How shallow and ridiculous to judge somebody purely on their appearance! So how should we judge them when they have no real record in office? he has only been a minister for two years. By his speeches and writings perhaps? Yeh? So you knew from speeches of {He Whom etc.} that he would invade Iraq? Or Major's that he would wreck the economy? Nah! How people look is as good as anything I reckon, either that or their shoes.

PS:He has bigger ears than a Virginian Big Eared bat too.

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Disk space, dejection and death

It has only taken about eleven weeks but we have been informed that xoggoth.org's disk space problem has been sorted. Not sure if there will be a huge burst of activity here though, I seem to have completely lost my enthusiasm.

Finished crap contract on Friday and intend to semi-retire and devote rest of my time to my own business which I like doing. Enough to live on and what the business does take is bonus. Great! But on past form it will probably take about three months before I get out of panic attack/palpitations mode and start to enjoy my freedom again. Why is our self esteem, and it isn't just me, so measured by our jobs and the amount we earn?

And retired!! Retired! what comes after retirement? - Death!. Followed by worms! Just as well we at bloggoth like worms. I don't want to be gnawed by common worms though, I think I will write to London zoo and see if they can provide some rare flies, an endangered species. Or the British museum, one bred from a pupa from Tutankhamun's tomb that fed exclusively on pharaohs will do nicely.

PS. Any nice ladies offering comfort in my time of need are always welcome. Out of the goodness of their hearts of course, I'm a poor old pensioner you know.

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The future cold war

What an enemy Iran is.

The Iranians had a real grievance against the West but one did imagine that after the furore of the revolution, and we all understand how the upheaval of an event like that can create a temporary insanity in any society, they would have started to join the civilised world.

27 years on and here they are, a significant world state acting like a bunch of outlaw bandits, still intimidating prisoners, parading them on TV and extracting public confessions under duress. In the name of their repulsive religion they are also still beheading criminals , cutting off hands , stoning women to death and executing homosexuals. They have a leader who feels it is ok to call for 6 million to be wiped from the map. We could ignore this from some fringe lunatic but this man was popularly elected and, given that those regarded as extremists by their own societies do not tend to get elected, I think we can fairly assume that there are a lot worse in Iran.

It reminds me of something I meant to post a few weeks back after me and the missus went to Newhaven Fort.

One of the most interesting exhibitions was about the cold war and it really took me back, all those frightening TV films, the doomsday clock that was always almost midnight, the idiotic leaflets with advice about dipping your curtains in limewash to stop radiation, the various committees to organise society after the event.

The Russians at least were a fairly civilised nation with rational leaders. If they had attacked we could be fairly sure that they would only have done so after a full review of the likely consequences to themselves and, despite their enormous weaponry, that was reassuring. If the Iranians get the nuclear bomb, we will have no such assurance. If suicide of one man is martyrdom and glorious, how we can assume that their leaders will not decide that the suicide of the whole nation will not be 70 million times as glorious?

I oppose conventional military action against Iran only because I do not believe it is likely to be effective given the ease with which they can conceal or move their facilities and because we are not yet in a position that requires immediate action. If there is still time to attempt a negotatied settlement then why not use it? Neither do I do believe in demonising any society, most Iranians are not monsters and I know there are many in Iran, especially the young, who would love to be freed from the yoke of extreme Islam.

But I do not want my sons living in the threatening world that I grew up in, made far more so because they could never be sure, from one day to the next, what irrational religious inspiration would make this new enemy launch a first strike. If Iran do get to the point of acquiring nuclear weapons and the capability to strike the West with them then I hope we get US and other leaders with the sense and courage to do what is necessary.

Nuke them.

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AVOID

We are a bit busy and have also had yet more trouble blogging due to intermittent problems which have now been going on for two months with no response to our emails from "support". When it takes 40 mins to successfully upload a minor update it hardly seems worth the effort. Non existent readers should note that bloggoth updates may be sparse and we may even be off the air until we find new hosters.

Top tip, when considering using any service, type the company name and crap into Google. I daresay even good companies get a few adverse comments but if there is a forum dedicated to complaints about rotten service take note.

BAARRRSTAAARD!

Due to above, little blogging this week and too knackered even to read other peoples' but I daresay every sensible comment on the budget has already been made so I won't bother. I expect the more political bloggers at left have commented, Ranting Stan (probably sensibly), Not Proud Of Britain (probably succinctly) and The Devil's Kitchen (probably at length and swearingly).

As far as I am concerned it was a personal vendetta against xoggoth. Unless something really interesting turns up I intend to retire from contracting next week and concentrate on my business and the wife's when she retires in a few months. So what does the c*nt do just when my income drops and I will depend on small company dividends? He abolishes the 10% income tax rate and wacks up small company dividends! F* c*******************nt!

Watch this video of The Lying C*nt Brownstuff picking his nose and eating the bogies, it's a must. The tip of the iceburg of this man's uncouth behaviour apparently, bloggoth's extensive network of informants at the heart of government have made further allegations:

By the power of Wathan, Nathap and Sadon, deliver us from this evil GB usually gets his way at treasury meetings as the other meeting members are so keen to get away from the revolting sight of "Smelly Gordon" sitting there mining his orifices for tasty snacks that they agree to anything just to bring the meeting to a close. Sources say he has even been known to dig into his ugly fat butt and don war "paint" like this before the meeting starts.

By the power of Wathan, Nathap and Sadon, deliver us from this evil Before every big speech he likes to calm his nerves by licking a puppy's arse. A former aide said he usually prefers poodles, however, other breeds will do provided they are juicy enough.

Bloggoth will bring you further revelations of the chancellor's disgusting behaviour as soon as we can make them up, I mean as soon as we get them from our extensive network of moles inside the treasury.

PS: Note we have not enclosed those images in the famous bloggoth pentagram to ward off evil, we have been given an incantation by an old witch doctor that works very well, just place mouse over image.

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Don't apologise on my behalf

How do you know that idiocy has reached a peak? When the only sensible comment by a significant political figure comes from Tony Benn.

Apologise for slavery, or even worse, compensate? Who should apologise to/compensate who exactly? Let's try and be precise. The British apologise to Africans/Afro Carribeans? Even though many British have their origins in exploited former colonies? Even though the ancestors of many British had no benefit from slavery and were themselves exploited almost as badly, working long hours in mines and factories for near starvation wages? Even though the ancestors of many in Africa and the West Indies, both black and white, actively participated in the slave trade? It does not make a lot of sense does it? Or do they really mean that whites should compensate blacks? And this from people quick to accuse others of racism?

If bloggoth was a powerful organ its message to blacks everywhere would be that these people who peddle this victim mentality are NOT your friends. One would have to be lost in a fog of political correctness to pretend that the black world is one of success but historically these are very early days and it does not have to be so. India and China are moving rapidly to superpower status and there was little sign of that 30 years ago. Indians and Chinese perform above the average in the UK although they must face predudice too. We never seem to hear them banging on about the Raj or the Opium Wars, is this more forward looking approach is any way related to their success?

At some point in history every culture seems to find that "Renaissance" confidence and starts to move ahead. The keys to black success must surely be to try and grasp that confidence, to look to the increasing numbers of black role models and stop blaming others for every problem.

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PS

On the same subject but different slants. Slavish Devotion on Wolfie's site and Apologise for Slavery? on Nobody's Friend's.

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